Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage

America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship

By: John M. Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Joan DeClaire

Narrated by: Susan Denaker

Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins

Publisher's summary

In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, marital psychologists John and Julie Gottman provide vital tools - scientifically based and empirically verified - that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication.

In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict - with more than 90 percent accuracy - whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice.

What emerged from the Gottmans’ collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that’s based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways.

The authors offer an intimate look at 10 couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems - extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy - and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track.

Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans’ work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that’s headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential listening.

©2006 John M. Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, and Joan DeClaire (P)2006 Books on Tape

Good A book, but does not sync with print version

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes. Good book

What other book might you compare Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage to and why?

N/A

Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Susan Denaker?

N/A

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

N/A

Any additional comments?

Content is good. However, this book is not available on Wispersync, so when trying to follow between book and audio, extremely difficult to find start/stop of chapters, etc. (Book chapters are not even close to audio chapters). For example, the beginning of chapter 3 of the book actually starts within the audio version of chapter 4 @ 1:01:45. VERY hard to find where one left off in the printed book within the audio book.

Excellent - insightful!

Eye opening, fundamental to have good clear communication and avoiding conflict and conflict resolution. Become friends again and fall in love.

Great Advice!

There are a lot of examples in this book with good advice on how therapy works.

One of the basics

A must have book if you are serious about working on your marriage. I have read several books and many refer to the work in this one.

10 Lessons to Transform Your RELATIONSHIP

I plan to listen to this book once a month - Great tips and tools not only for transforming a marriage, but for any relationship - from roommate to sister to friend to parent or co-worker. I loved every chapter, appreciate the way the authors used case studies to give concrete examples of the kinds of issues that come up in relationships and how to resolve them, and found incredible takeaway that I can apply in my personal life. The quizzes at the ends of the chapters are also extremely useful.

Takes some concentration listening

This book is clearly a work book - in that there are quizzes and lists that you can review. Listening to the conversations between the couples is chronicled by a "plus" or "minus" if they get it right or if they say something that's not particularly helpful. It's a little hard to visualize these in the car. However, there are case examples, and while none of them may be directly what your issue may be, listening to the overview and what people are talking about and how they are talking about it can be good. Even just a few reminders of allowing the other person to finish their thought or sentence, really hearing instead of just listening. While the narration itself is fine, it might have been better if there was a woman voice and a man voice instead of the narrator just deepening her voice when a man is talking. Overall, worth a listen.

Loved it!

Truly great book packed with excellent, concrete advice. The narrator has good inflection which adds to the great content.

Forward Thinking

Brilliant! Should Be Required Reading Before Anyone Chooses To Be Married. They should create a required class at Universities on this information.

Good content ( I think)

Is there anything you would change about this book?

The narrator. I don't know what it was, but she was very difficult to listen to. I feel like I missed out on a lot of good advice because I could not focus on her narration.

What three words best describe Susan Denaker’s performance?

Monotone, drab, uninteresting

Could you see Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?

No

Easy to follow

I liked the author giving examples of issues that come up in a marriage and suggestions of what to try.

I got tired of the point by point remark by the author of positive or negative after listening to what the couple tried. It was like reviewing a spelling test list. Correct...correct...incorrect, but not much helpful information.

I did enjoy the first few chapters but after that I didn’t get much from it.