Pursuit of Perfect

How to Stop Chasing and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life

By: Tal Ben-Shahar

Narrated by: Eric Conger

Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins

Publisher's summary

We're all laboring under our own and society's expectations to be perfect in every way: to look younger, to make more money, to be happy all the time. But according to Tal Ben-Shahar, the New York Times best-selling author of Happier, the pursuit of perfect may actually be the number-one internal obstacle to finding happiness.

Applying cutting-edge research in the field of positive psychology - the scientific principles taught in his wildly popular course at Harvard University - Ben-Shahar takes us off the impossible pursuit of perfection and directs us to the way to happiness, richness, and true fulfillment. He shows us the freedom derived from not trying to do it all right all the time and the real lessons that failure and painful emotions can teach us. He provides exercises for self reflection, meditations, and "Time-Ins" to help you rediscover what you really want out of life.

©2009 Tal Ben-Shahar (P)2009 HighBridge Company.

Uplifting and Applicable

This book is about optimizing your life and accepting your imperfections without lowering your expectations. This book was guidance I have longed to hear. It covers personal, family, sexual, educational, and workplace well being.

Great Book

This is a great self-development book full of insights and practical advice. Eric Conger's performance is very good. The only thing that really disappointed me in this audiobook is how the audiobook was divided in tracks that do not match the chapters. It makes it very difficult for listeners to go back and re-listen to their favourite part.

Gave up on perfectionism before writing the book

This book was okay. I did appreciate all the personal anecdotes Ben-Shahar included, but would have preferred more prescriptive or actionable recommendations. He spends a lot of time expounding on the theory behind perfectionism and how it plays out in real life, but doesn't cite much evidence (at least in audiobook format) to suggest whether this is a) real findings or b) his interpretation. The book made me feel bad about myself for being a perfectionist, but was either too vague or possibly too easy to tune out for me to walk away with any clear notion of what I should do to STOP being a perfectionist. "Yes, I should be an optimalist! ....how again?" It may be simply that this one works better on paper. I might listen to it again someday, but probably not any time soon.

amazing book

this book should be everywhere, good for parents, teachers educators coaches and any human been.

A wake-up call to recognize perfectionism

Most of us have an issue recognizing that we may or may not be perfectionists. Myself included.
Learning to recognize it, live with it and work on it is a lifelong endeavor and I believe I’ll constantly refer back to this book for guidance.

Comprehensive and good listen

The author discusses perfectionism within a number of contexts. I particularly liked the discussion of perfectionism within relationships. The narrator is good also.

Top quality!

Very insightful and pinpoints healthy expectations and ways to minimize perfectionism. Has been very helpful for me as i struggle with perfectionism.

One of my top 3

This audio was so great that I will buy the hard copy as it’s just full of great content

Great, semi-contrarian wisdom

I’ve read Ben-Shahar’s “Happier” a few times and enjoyed it each pass through, so, after my last read of it, I figured it was time to try another of his books. That led me to this one.

Though I didn’t know what to expect out of it when I picked it up, I was pleasantly surprised in the end. I’d say that’s mostly because the author’s approach and advice are honest, compassionate, and grounded in reality.

Throughout the book, Ben-Shahar reminds us that the perfectionism many of us seek is not only impossible to achieve but also leads to a great deal of stress and pain on our journeys. Thus, instead of aiming for perfection throughout various areas of our lives, he recommends that we be “optimalists” — folks who understand what “good enough” is and readily seek it out despite society’s calls for us to be flawless.

One of the early and key applications of this outlook comes when the author talks about happiness. Specifically, he says that the “I’m brimming with joy all the time” mindset so many of us aim for isn’t an attainable one because everyone inevitably experiences hardship and difficult emotions.

Thus, instead of seeking this unreachable state, he says we should pursue and embrace steady sources of joy in our lives and remind ourselves that it’s normal even for happy people to struggle from time to time. This sort of approach not only helps us find contentment more readily but also prevents us from creating cognitive dissonance in our minds and driving ourselves even further away from the joy we desire.

Though I wouldn’t say the entire book is focused on happiness, it does revolve around a similar, general category of “well-being.” Along the way, it covers various subjects related to that concept, including the importance of balance, rest, and perspective in our lives. And it does so with an eye toward the contrarian sort of logic introduced in its early parts.

It’s a fun, empathetic, and down-to-earth read as well as one that I strongly recommend. Definitely check it out if you’re looking for a new spin on self-help.

-Brian Sachetta
Author of “Get Out of Your Head”

Anxiousness map!

He explains in very clear way the cause of my anxiety in many situations and gave me a map with directions to control it. Also help understand better people around me.