The Sociopath Next Door

By: Martha Stout

Narrated by: Shelly Frasier

Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins

Publisher's summary

We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people, one in 25, has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in 25 everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They're more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others' suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.

The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know, someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for, is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.

It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

©2005 Martha Stout (P)2005 Tantor Media, Inc.

Critic reviews

"Stout is a good writer and her exploration of sociopaths can be arresting." (Publishers Weekly)
"A remarkable philosophical examination of the phenomenon of sociopathy and its everyday manifestations....Stout's portraits make a striking impact and readers with unpleasant neighbors or colleagues may find themselves paying close attention to her sociopathic-behavior checklist and suggested coping strategies. Deeply thought-provoking and unexpectedly lyrical." (Kirkus)

Good explanation of sociopaths

She gave a great explanation of a sociopath throughout the book and what they might look like in our day to day encounters and the incidence of this disorder. She didn't get too deep into the research and tha technical aspects of the disease, so it was easy to understand.

Scary how well this describes people I know...

What made the experience of listening to The Sociopath Next Door the most enjoyable?

The reality of iit all. An ex-husband (diagnosed as "anti-social personality), the head of our condo association (eerily described to a "T" in the intro of the book), some bosses I have had, the mother of two unfortunate children I knew years ago...those who don't like the book are similar to homophobes - there is something in the book that makes them uncomfortable, something that hits a bit too close to home inside....In my condo building, I can clearly identify 3 people that fit this profile - willing to do whatever they can to please themselves, hurting others in the process, without guilt or remorse...It's also good to know that the training I received for my phychology degree from the 80's isn't THAT out of date.

What was one of the most memorable moments of The Sociopath Next Door?

The spot-on description of the "head" of our condo association in the book - the horrid, nasty, guileless things he has done to us and others that live here us to seek a restraining order against him - and the fact that he continues to "reign."

What about Shelly Frasier’s performance did you like?

Well, she spoke a bit too slow...I guess that can be a good thing.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Yes. It made for good commuting listening.

Any additional comments?

Be afraid and be careful - follow your gut...4% of "us" are one of these...stats greater than some of the most well known killer diseases today....

A must hear in this crazy world

Where does The Sociopath Next Door rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

This is not an easy, stressless listen. The author has clearly, concisely and engagingly exposed a very frightening and complex subject. It is not about the sociopath we all know and fear. It is about those we do not recognize because their actions are subtle, disguised and not criminal. I started wondering who of the many people I've met and delt with in my life are sociopaths.

What was one of the most memorable moments of The Sociopath Next Door?

Bringing me to the understanding that there is a genetic predisposition to being a sociopath, but environment cannot be overlooked as a factor.

What does Shelly Frasier bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Shelly Frazier's clear diction and the excellent pace of her sentences made this very complicated subject easy to understand.

What’s the most interesting tidbit you’ve picked up from this book?

My exhusband was very probably a sociopath!

I did not like the composite characters

Stout is addressing a very unnerving topic, one which many of us who are not mental health professionals may not have a good grasp of. However dire her observations may be -- and this is not a lighthearted book -- it is still worth your time. I will note that, like others, I was put off by Stout's decision to create composite characters instead of using real case studies. I believe this decision seriously detracts from the main theme: Showing us how we deal with sociopaths on a day-to-day basis.

However, the book is still well worth a read, or a listen. It may not have clinical perfection, but that's okay. If this were an academic/professional publication it'd probably be unreadable (unlistenable?).

Her keys to identifying those among us who do not have conscience is worth the price of admission alone. I know I've met and worked with at least one person who has sociopathy, and now that I have listened to Stout's book, I can say that with increased confidence. The identifiers she cites (especially the need for pity) provide us with very useful guidelines as we try to live our lives and minimize the hurt we experience at the hands of others.

Again, it's a layman's book, and should be taken as such. But within its niche it is a solid introduction to a very creepy side of humanity.

The narrator does an outstanding job; she has a very pleasing voice.

I would give the story 3.5 stars if Audible.com were set up that way, but because of certain weaknesses in the narrative I chose to round down instead of up.

Meet your family, friends and neighbors.

How to understand people who are difficult to understand why they are impossible to help.

Must read

Having suffered first hand having a sociopath in my life, I can appreciate how precise is the description of this awful human beings. My advice to everyone is read this book, convince yourself that they won't ever change and run as fast as you can from them.

I absolutely loved this audio book. Very insightful and intriguing content. I already told my friends they must get this one.

Insightful and Healing

As a survivor of emotional abuse at the hands of a passive aggressive narcissist/sociopath, this book gave me valuable insights into how to recognize the behavior of such individuals. It does not paint the picture of psychopathic sociopaths, but the everyday narcissist incapable of guilt or remorse, however fake they may present to the outside world. If you suspect you know someone who preys upon or manipulates the feelings of others, you probably do because 1 in 25 people can be classified as sociopaths. Buy this book, and arm your psyche..

Stick to the subject matter please.

It was a very interesting, very informative and we'll written book. However, I was suspicious that the author may have been injecting a little too much of her political veiwpoint towards the end of the book, which I could have done without.

be informed

This book is full of descriptions of not only sociopathic behavior, but other disorders. I felt like this book was written for me. I have clarity regarding my situation. The reader was clear and professional, just as I imagine the author would be. This book is helpful to those who want to understand the types of people who live in the world around us and how to deal with those that would be toxic to us if we get too close.