The Sociopath Next Door

By: Martha Stout

Narrated by: Shelly Frasier

Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins

Publisher's summary

We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people, one in 25, has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in 25 everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They're more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others' suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.

The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know, someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for, is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.

It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

©2005 Martha Stout (P)2005 Tantor Media, Inc.

Critic reviews

"Stout is a good writer and her exploration of sociopaths can be arresting." (Publishers Weekly)
"A remarkable philosophical examination of the phenomenon of sociopathy and its everyday manifestations....Stout's portraits make a striking impact and readers with unpleasant neighbors or colleagues may find themselves paying close attention to her sociopathic-behavior checklist and suggested coping strategies. Deeply thought-provoking and unexpectedly lyrical." (Kirkus)

Great Read!!

Very informative read. i like the reader as wellnas she was clear and refreshing. An interesting topic for sure.

Must read

Truly eye opening and empowering. I discovered this book because I was seeking answers for why a daycare owner could’ve nearly killed my child. I found the answers in this book. I also recognize an ex boyfriend and ex boss as sociopaths now and feel knowledgeable about how to recognize these behaviors and what to do if/when I encounter them again. A must read for everyone in my opinion.

Good but a bit off-topic

First, let me say there is a lot of good and interesting information in this book. I learned a lot of things about sociopathy from the author. That said, I have a few bones to pick.

The author goes off-topic. She does not just go a little off-topic, either, she starts rambling into areas that have absolutely nothing to do with her topic, much less with her thesis for the book. It almost seems as if she ran out of material and just started spening time adding filler to make the book a little bigger.

Also, it's hard to identify with any people in her stories knowing they are composite. Am I supposed to believe there were no examples of real sociopaths that would provide the examples she needs? If not, it kind of invalidates her points.

I gave the book three stars, but it easily could have been a much better book with some better editing, more succinct writing, and real examples.

I will add that Shelly Frasier did an excellent job of doing the narration, thouh.

Starts Strong and Finishes Silly

The first half of this book is enlightening, as Stout takes us on a tour through the mind of the Sociopath living next door. Sadly, her tome quickly degenerates into a not-too-subtly veiled commentary on conservatism, Bush and the War on Terror (all quite sociopathic, apparently). Evidently, Stout believes that the minds of the most moral among us are apparently distinguished by rabid environmentalism and the merits of the welfare state - all the while missing the point that these "causes" can too serve as vehicles for sociopaths to dominate others while cleverly disguising their motives as "pure."

This, Dr. Stout, is why professionalism and logic should not be carelessly intermixed with personal political opinion. I fear the good doctor's book illustrates another interesting psychological phenomenon - that of projection. Save your credits or resign yourself to only listening to the first half of this book. A pity.

Everybody should read this book.

This was a fabulous and informative book about a darkly fascinating topic -- the 4% of the N. American population that have no conscience whatsoever. I strongly recommend it if you want to understand the snakes-in-suits you’ve worked with and other inexplicably and extremely unpleasant people you’ve known (excluding narcissists).

The author gets into it early with composite case studies. Later she gets into some of the underlying concepts and that part is really interesting, too.

Read this and a good book on narcissism and the causes of much of the bad craziness you’ve experienced in the workplace will be revealed! That won’t fix the bad craziness, but it’s much better to understand these devils than to be dumbfounded by them.

I highly recommend this book. Please consider taking the opportunity to learn about this destructive phenomenon that touches almost everybody’s lives in negative ways, both big and small. You’ll be glad you did. Knowledge is power.

Everyone should read this book!

Any additional comments?

This is an incredible well written and well performed book. The format of composite case studies is very easy to understand, compelling, and serves to explain the complex varieties of sociopaths out there. The performance by Shelly Frasier is top notch other than minor pronunciation errors.

Foremost, the book seeks to grapple with such a damaging and baffling mental illness as sociopathy. It offers a counterbalance in describing what is so socially and psychologically valuable in the goodness of care and those who are the opposite of sociopaths, the greatly conscientious and caring. It is also ultimately a survival guide and tool you can use to protect yourself against the sociopath next door, at work or school or right under your roof.

I have two critiques though. First, in terms of content, there are moments when the author relies too heavily on some of the oft repeated pop psych studies and cute quotes from famous figures. Milgram Experiment again? Even with that said, the book is so well written and well edited that even the overplayed Milgram Experiment is well utilized within the text. Secondly, in terms of the performance, there is one awful pronunciation error that stood out to me as a Romanian. For some odd reason Shelly Fraiser, mostly likely under erroneous instruction, was pronouncing Romanian dictator Ceaușescu's name as if it were a French instead of a Romanian name. He was only mentioned a few times but it is a silly and avoidable error on the part of the production.

I can't recommend this book enough! Martha Stout's deep thoughts and brilliant mind truly shine here. With her work, we are one step closer to understanding human nature.

accurate and clear illustrations

Dr. Stout gives examples of Sociopathic behavior, and then describes what might motivate them and why. It is fascinating, and and at times scary.

If you have ever had a sociopathic personality in your life, at work or otherwise, you would probably already know it.
It is not a question of reading this text and looking to identify people you may know who might fit the description. This book instead affirms what you probably already knew. More importantly, it gives clues for how to curb the sometimes destructive influence a Sociopath can have on your life.

Spine tingler

Is your boss, neighbor, co-worker a socio-path? You will have a new view of the world and your life. I now see more clearly the madness in the world. I can see it's players in my small world and know how to deal a lot better.

interesting and a little disturbing

Overall I enjoyed this book. It was interesting and well presented, with helpful (and disturbing) examples. I thought it was well written and accessible for readers lacking a background in psychology. The narrator did a good job, though she is not my favorite. Her voice is a little to monotone and doesn't hold my attention as well as many of the other narrators I've listened to.

And I Thought I Knew My Neighbor!!!

How many of us really, truly know what’s going on behind the doors and in the minds of neighbors and friends who we think we know well? Just look at the recent Ariel Castro kidnapping case in Cleveland where even his own family didn't know that he held 3 young girls captives for 10 years or so.

So, when author Martha Stout depicts in this text about all of the sociopaths that have been discovered in her book, The Sociopath Next Door”, that is probably just a “drop in the bucket” as we see things played out almost on a monthly basis of killings and killing sprees, or serial killers being found out in our country. She talks about how 4% of the population is sociopathic (1 out of 25!)

It’s sad, shocking and scary.

This is a really good book that take a great look at the possibility of just normal, everyday people among us who just might be… just might be… sociopathic.