The Sociopath Next Door

By: Martha Stout

Narrated by: Shelly Frasier

Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins

Publisher's summary

We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people, one in 25, has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in 25 everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They're more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others' suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.

The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know, someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for, is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.

It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

©2005 Martha Stout (P)2005 Tantor Media, Inc.

Critic reviews

"Stout is a good writer and her exploration of sociopaths can be arresting." (Publishers Weekly)
"A remarkable philosophical examination of the phenomenon of sociopathy and its everyday manifestations....Stout's portraits make a striking impact and readers with unpleasant neighbors or colleagues may find themselves paying close attention to her sociopathic-behavior checklist and suggested coping strategies. Deeply thought-provoking and unexpectedly lyrical." (Kirkus)

Great information on every day sociopaths!

This book had me gripped the entire time. Super helpful information on how to deal with sociopaths in your every day life.

Not scary, very informative

What made the experience of listening to The Sociopath Next Door the most enjoyable?

This is not a scary book about homicidal sociopaths. It is a book about the reality of our world and the people in it. Loved this book, well written and well read. It puts so many people into perspective and makes me realize I am not crazy for thinking that there is something off about many people I've encountered. It has helped me understand and deal with the people in my life that are sociopaths.

nice

This was a very nice boat. I enjoyed some of it but it could have been a little bit more interesting. Next time I will listen to the review in the beginning before I make a purchase. This is been a wonderful experience for me. Thank you

Chilling & Triggering

I left my sociopath husband 3 years ago, after enduring a solid 2 years of psychological, financial, and ultimately, physical abuse. It was recommended that I read this book, but decided to put it off until I had healed completely. There was no question he is a sociopath, he was even diagnosed as such in marriage “counseling,” but this book solidifies EVERY aspect of his issues. All the stories used as examples... Luke...creepy-accurate to my experience. The 13 Rules and Rules of 3 should be taught to everyone and reinforced throughout childhood... I will definitely be teaching them to my kids! And praying nurture overrules the dark nature passed on from their father...
If you’ve never met a sociopath, consider this preparation for the time you do run into one. If you’re recovering from abuse at the hands of a sociopath, this will help reiterate that none of it was your fault, you couldn’t have helped him (or her). They’re fatally, inherently, and permanently flawed, and have no soul. This book is extremely triggering, but an important read.

Excellent!

Loved everything about this book and listened to it all in one sitting. I thought I already knew a lot about this subject through my work in community corrections but this book provided a great deal more information than I had previously. It's worth a read/listen no matter who you are, as everyone will, whether in your workplace or social interactions, have crossed paths with likely several sociopaths and will need to know how to arm yourself against their destruction.

Highly recommend

This book will help you better identify sociopathic people & their tendencies, anti-social behavior & understand behavior that seemingly has no explanation.

very informative and helpful

I loved it! it was very insightful. There were a lot of helpful tools to help me in my dealings with my younger sister who is an undiagnosed sociopath (she thinks there's nothing wrong so she doesn't need help)

Essential reading if you value a happy life.

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I recommend this to all my friends. It contains data essential to wellbeing, without it a life can be miserable for years with no clue as to the source. It's like a handbook on toxic people, and it explains the previously unexplainable in a very clear way. If you have ever ended up in a relationship with a sociopath without realizing it - they are very clever - this book will help to get you free of the effects.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

How sociopaths are behind many of our sufferings.

Any additional comments?

Over 40 years I have heard many accounts from clients validating the material in the book, even tho they didn't know why these people acted the way they did. This book brings this out in the open and I see it as an immeasurable help. I thank the author for this contribution to the renewed and future sanity of our society!
I would also recommend as another vital adjunct the book "The Lucifer Effect". It shows the spreading effect of Sociopaths getting into positions of authority and creating oppressive systems which forward their need for total control.

chilling, it sends shivers down your back

It is chilling to find out how common anti-social personality disorder is. According to the author 4% of the population are sociopaths/psychopaths. In the book she recommends certain actions if you run into a person who you suspect doesn't have a conscience. She says don't get involved, but what if it is your child or nephew or someone really close who you care about a great deal. I mean can you turn your back on them or simply suffer through their BSing and lies and all of the uncomfortable things you have to deal with from that person?. It's a similar question when your dealing with a drug addict, do you suffer through or turn your back?

In the book the author deals lightly with the subject of altruism and group survival from a evolutionary standpoint. She says that these positive traits must have been selected for throughout human genetic history or 96% of the population wouldn't display these behaviors, but she is forgetting things like institutionalized racism and slavery. These characteristics have been a part of the human condition probably from the onset of our species' history, but they survived and thrived and they still exist to some degree even in the age of equal rights, and these things are certainly anti-social.

You KNOW these people! Read and find out!

Would you listen to The Sociopath Next Door again? Why?

Yes. And again and again. And again.

What was one of the most memorable moments of The Sociopath Next Door?

When she (the author) described the typical sociopath and listed who these poele could be, and described the head of our Condo Trustee Board 100% - and then said, this person could be the head of your condo Trustee Board. YIKES!!

Have you listened to any of Shelly Frasier’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

Never heard any others...

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

No - it is too heavy of a topic. And it hits WAY too close to home for me. I was married to a diagnosed sociopath, my father was one, and the head of condo association is one. That man had single-handedly ruined the lives of SO MANY people in our condo complex...yet people think he is so "charming." That is the key word used to describe most sociopaths...or so I learned in this book. They are more deceptive than you think. And, 1 in 25 people fall into this category...yikes.

Any additional comments?

A MUST read for every adult. I can't emphasize this enough.
If more people read this book, they would know what to look for and question the actions of people that seem just a bit "off." If more people did this - so many other people would be better off and lead better lives because of that. Had someone questioned my father's actions, perhaps I wouldn't have been sexually abused by him for 14 years....every one thought he was sooo "charming."
Gross.

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein