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The Sociopath Next Door | [Martha Stout]

The Sociopath Next Door

We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people, one in 25, has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in 25 everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath.
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Publisher's Summary

We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people, one in 25, has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in 25 everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They're more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others' suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.

The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know, someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for, is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.

It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

©2005 Martha Stout; (P)2005 Tantor Media, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"Stout is a good writer and her exploration of sociopaths can be arresting." (Publishers Weekly)
"A remarkable philosophical examination of the phenomenon of sociopathy and its everyday manifestations....Stout's portraits make a striking impact and readers with unpleasant neighbors or colleagues may find themselves paying close attention to her sociopathic-behavior checklist and suggested coping strategies. Deeply thought-provoking and unexpectedly lyrical." (Kirkus)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

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  •  
    Debbie Toney, Alabama 02-17-13
    Debbie Toney, Alabama 02-17-13 Member Since 2013

    Retired CFO, Army wife, Mom of five, Grandma of six, two sons who served in combat, love to read books that reflect my values and faith, love mysteries, historical, military stories, and books that don't waste my time . . . if it doesn't have an ending that was worth the wait, I'm not a happy camper.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "What an EDUCATION!"

    Wish I had read this several years ago, might have saved myself and my family some pain. It explains a LOT. This, to me, is the best audio book on the subject, as the others deal almost exclusively with the criminal psychopaths. It is scary to me that our society encourages and in some cases applauds this type of behavior now, which is also addressed in Ms. Stout's book. The recent admission by Lance Armstrong that he lied over and over and felt no guilt whatsoever, about his use of performance enhancing drugs, is an example. He even sued those who accused him of it. As I watched that interview on television, the lack of remorse on his face, so evident, I was reminded again of this book. Nothing is EVER their fault. Sad. Sad.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    L. M. Roberts Southern California 09-21-11
    L. M. Roberts Southern California 09-21-11 Member Since 2013

    Reader And Listener

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    "Well told"

    This book will make you start to reconsider some of the more challenging people in your life!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Deborah A. Nye Scottsdale, AZ 03-14-12
    Deborah A. Nye Scottsdale, AZ 03-14-12 Member Since 2014
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    "Pop psychology at its worst"
    What disappointed you about The Sociopath Next Door?

    This book can be summarized in a sentence: Sociopaths have no conscience and you should avoid them like the plague, and by the way, it is nice to have a conscience. Someone must have suggested to the author that she write a book about this subject and she scrounged to get enough material to put in the book. The book is poorly organized and repetitive without much substantive. While I don't argue with her main thesis (see summary sentence above), I found it alarming how she blithely labeled certain historical figures as sociopaths merely because of the horrid historical acts for which they are known by our culture. These conclusions are largely drawn from a western and specifically United States point of view. I also found her periodic interweaving of religious concepts to be disconcerting, and off topic. I do not recommend this book. BTW, the narrator did a nice job and has a pleasant voice.


    Which character ??? as performed by Shelly Frasier ??? was your favorite?

    Nonfiction. No character. Frasier did a nice job. Has a nice voice.


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from The Sociopath Next Door?

    The author said all she had to say in the first chapter. Cut the rest and you have a nice pop psychology magazine article.


    6 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Vincent Brown Nashville,TN 02-21-08
    Vincent Brown Nashville,TN 02-21-08 Member Since 2011
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    "Please Read"

    Having been married to a sociopath, this book has helped me a great deal. I had no idea this problem was so common.
    And since it is so common, everyone please read this bbok.

    13 of 16 people found this review helpful
  •  
    David J. Martin 02-28-09 Member Since 2012
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    "A Must Read"

    You simply need to understand and know how to deal with this personality type. Or else, you will most certainly be hurt, used or frustrated by them. I was recommended this book by a psychologist friend of mine. I thank him every time I see him for recommending it. As I said, a must read!

    19 of 24 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 09-17-05
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    "The path to enlightenment."

    Don?t expect uniformly good reviews, sociopaths won?t like this book. I loved it because I love enlightenment, when the puzzle fits together with an endorphin-like rush. Ready yourself for this exhilaration. The book is mainstream psychology, not paranoid delusions; trust me, I?m a doctor. We are all aware of prominent sociopaths, mass murderers including Saddam Hussein, Bin Laden, McVeigh and Rudolph; some priests and most villains, but most sociopaths are likable and even popular. We see only the tip of the iceberg. Some of the heroes of our success-driven culture are sociopaths. They are a spectrum of people joined together only by their lack of conscience and their often hidden cruelty, an inability to emotionally connect with other people, their deceptiveness and ability to put on an act, and their desire for our sympathy when they get caught. Our pity is their ultimate escape mechanism. They are particularly successful in some fields such as military and corporate American combat, especially corporate administration. You may work for one of them. They aren?t everywhere and they aren?t obvious but they are most places if you know where to look. They are 1 in 25 people and most are on the loose. They often yearn for power and have no conscience to interfere with their achieving whatever goals they desire. They convince us they are compassionate. They are wolves in sheep?s clothing. They are the predators among us, and they are dangerous. We all know at least a few and you should have no difficulty recognizing the ones who have most impacted your life. They make us doubt ourselves while making others also doubt us as they continue to victimize us, the objects of their interests. They are Alpha-males and passive-aggressive females and they may have been our siblings. They often reach positions of power over other people and they love to manipulate their victims like a cat playing with a captured mouse. You are the mouse in this analogy.

    21 of 27 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ronda 03-19-12
    Ronda 03-19-12 Member Since 2011
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    "Very Informative"

    Rivetting and informative book but with an excessive focus on evolutinary developments (which is not science but speculation). Previous reviewers thought the voice was difficult to listen to, but I didn't have a problem. At times she drones on about sociological developments which I found meaningless, but will listen a second time.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    ComicGurlGeek Roswell, GA, United States 12-11-11
    ComicGurlGeek Roswell, GA, United States 12-11-11

    wheee

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    "Empower yourself"

    I found this book empowering, if only because it made me realize that some of the cruel behaviors I occasionally observed in my workplace could be the symptoms of sociopathy. Sometimes people I deal with behave in such entirely disgusting ways that I feel baffled that a member of the human race could act as they do. But then I assume I just overacting or misunderstanding the situation. Listening to this book allowed me to accepted the possibility that THEY are the insane ones, not me.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    EDotGirl Ellicott City, MD 21043 08-26-11
    EDotGirl Ellicott City, MD 21043 08-26-11 Member Since 2015
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    "Absolutely Fascinating"

    I bought this audio book today, finished it today, and was very, very disappointed that this was the only book out by Dr. Stout!

    She has amazing insight, not only as a Doctor, but as a human being, in general. Her stories were capitvating (especially the one of "Hannah") and I felt like I was listening to a novel - not because it was unbelievable or fantastical, but because she has this objective, yet vividly descriptive way of describing this disorder, and the people who are affected by it.

    If you are like 96% of the population, and not sociopathic, I recommend this book. If you have children (especially if they are about to go out into the big, "bad" world) I recommend this book. If you are just interested in learning more about your disorder, I recommend this book :)

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Philip Steamboat Springs, CO, United States 11-26-09
    Philip Steamboat Springs, CO, United States 11-26-09 Member Since 2014
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    "Exceptional...Must Read for Everyone!"

    This book is a must read for everyone. I wish I could have had this knowledge and input years ago, it would have saved me a tremendous amount of flesh. We do not realize how many people we encounter who could be true danger to our emotional well-being and leave us much less trusting. We normally associate a sociopath with violent offenders that appear on the news. In truth, very few sociopaths are violent and are our friends, neighbors, co-workers and family. Everyone needs this knowledge. Everyone will encounter at least one in their lifetime and probably many more. Add this to your arsenal of defenses.

    5 of 6 people found this review helpful

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