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Real Vampires Don't Sparkle Audiobook

Real Vampires Don't Sparkle

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Publisher's Summary

Matheus Taylor didn't ask to be murdered. To be fair, the percentage of people actually asking to be murdered is probably small enough to be safely ignored, but he felt it was worth stating regardless. His life might have been ordinary, but it was his life and he wasn't done with it yet.

Quin didn't care.

A 1,700-year-old Roman, Quintus Livius Saturnius had a different view of morality than most people. Killing Matheus and hijacking his undead existence seemed perfectly acceptable to him.

Now, Matheus spends his nights running for his life, questioning his sexual orientation, and defying a mysterious new threat to the vampires within his city. Not that he set out to do any defying; he just wanted to be left alone. Unfortunately, that was never going to happen.

Volume One of Real Vampires Don't Sparkle

Fans of Real Vampires Don't Sparkle should be sure to check out more titles from Curiosity Quills Press: Sweet Dreams Are Made of Teeth, by Richard Roberts: a fantasy coming-of-age story set in the world of our dreams, where a nightmare learns who he is - and who he loves.

The Devil You Know, by K. H.Koehler: an urban fantasy pulp/mystery series about demons, rogue angels, and a small group of people living in rural northeast Pennsylvania who are caught in the middle of an angelic war.

©2013 Amy Fecteau (P)2013 Audible Inc.

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.1 (95 )
5 star
 (46)
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4.1 (89 )
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4.5 (88 )
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3 star
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2 star
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1 star
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Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    ALLIE 03-01-15
    ALLIE 03-01-15
    HELPFUL VOTES
    66
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    92
    36
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    FOLLOWING
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    Story
    "Surprisingly good!"

    Wasn't sure what to expect from this book as I don't often gravitate to the vampire genre., but i like sarcastic back and forth dialog so I decided to try it.
    I'm glad I used the credit because I loved it so much I immediately got the 2nd audiobook.
    The narrator was out of this world and made this book even better!

    5 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Marielle Lawliet 01-08-15 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
    7
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    36
    3
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    Story
    "Delightful!"
    Any additional comments?

    I didn't read the book yet, I listened to 90% of audio book and I have to say it was actually a fairly good audiobook! I didn't finish the audiobook yet but I went ahead and bought the kindle version as well.

    The narrator is very talented and I absolutely love his style and skill.

    I really enjoy the take on vampires in this series and really enjoyed the characters and their relationships (or lack of lol) It is definitely a good read/listen. Highly recommend this!

    For those looking for the PWP type story, this is not for you. No spoilers, but there are moments that tickled my inner fujoshi.

    I have already bought the 2nd installment of this series in kindle and audio version. I can't wait to read more of what is to come!

    I read some of the reviews and saw that there is a 3rd book! I REALLY hope it comes out soon! Because once I finish the 2nd book I will want to know more!

    5 of 6 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tom(C) 08-14-16
    Tom(C) 08-14-16
    HELPFUL VOTES
    52
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    341
    86
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    "Too long and no plot"

    This is a series of adventures strung together and dragged out. The book goes on for so long that what was humorous banter turns into irritating, repetitive screeching and at that point neither MC is appealing. The book end without a conclusion. What happens to the protagonists is no more revealed at the end than at the begining.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tommy J Baker Jr 04-09-16
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    31
    4
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Humorously Exciting"
    If you could sum up Real Vampires Don't Sparkle in three words, what would they be?

    Humorous, all the characters have such a humorous personality, especially Matheus and Quin. Matheus is sarcastically witty and Quin gives it back to him.
    Exciting, edge of your seat battles that makes your heart race.
    Sensual. The bonding between Matheus and Quin is riveting without being explicit.


    What other book might you compare Real Vampires Don't Sparkle to and why?

    There is no comparison.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    The entire book. However, the scene when Matheus tells Quin what he can do with a cactus stands out.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yes. In two weeks I have already listened to it and book 2 twice.


    Any additional comments?

    The best narrated audio books with a fantastic story. Please continue to use James Patrick Cronin with the new book scheduled for October 2016 and all the books in this series.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Scott Orlando 02-07-16
    Scott Orlando 02-07-16 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
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    7
    2
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    "Great"

    Great book and the narrator was fantastic. There were times that it dragged but overall, it will keep your attention and is a must listen.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Wild Pig Texas 01-21-16
    Wild Pig Texas 01-21-16 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
    18
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    "I really loved this...it surprised me! Different!"
    Any additional comments?

    I wasn't sure about it at first, but this has turned out to be a wonderfully unique take on them. And I am a major vamp lover. You have created some wonderful characters and they have come to life in away that I didn't expect at all. You've wound a good story too that personally, I didn't see coming. Matheus really gets on my nerves at times but he's supposed to and you've done a great job of it! James, you do make this story come alive and your narration is good. I'd butch up Quinn, but it's still very good. Listener, I personally think it's worth the listen...it takes a couple or three chapters to get "into it" but once you get hooked, well, let's just say I moved onto the second book, which I will review once finished, but I can tell you this...you'll have to get it too...start here, and then move to the next. Oh, and Amy, keep this series going as long as you can...I'll be there with you!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    jeff La Mirada, CA, United States 10-21-15
    jeff La Mirada, CA, United States 10-21-15 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    89
    7
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    "Different.......way to much of a "homoerotic vibe""
    Would you try another book from Amy Fecteau and/or James Patrick Cronin?

    I might depends if I get it from audible, so if I don’t like it I can return it.


    What was most disappointing about Amy Fecteau’s story?

    The most disappointing about the story is a couple of things. I don’t mind taking the vampire story in a different direction. They are completely dead during the day and only alive at night okay I can accept that BUT some of the main characteristic of a being a vampire: are being immortal, super speed and super human strength lastly you heal very fast. The book is missing speed (or at least most of the time “Sunshine” only move’s fast when is running in the woods), strength, as for healing “Sunshine” does heal fast when he drinks blood but there not much of that, healing I mean.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    I like most of their banter, the back and forth I found it very amusing.


    Any additional comments?

    I did like parts of the book more than others. I really enjoyed the modern day approach to this kind of story. My biggest problem with the book was the overall homoerotic vibe of it. There’s a lot of suggested talk about homosexuality throughout this whole book. The main character seems to be struggling with it. For me, that’s what made it difficult to enjoy the book. As a reader I’m trying to put myself in the main character shoes. I think the writer could have allude to it without focusing on as much on it as she did. As with a lot of the Vampire genre sexuality is a big part of it.

    0 of 6 people found this review helpful
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  • Kapaxiana
    London
    1/6/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "I wish I could return it!"
    Would you ever listen to anything by Amy Fecteau again?

    Not sure


    Any additional comments?

    Sometimes it takes a couple of chapters to get into a book and I usually persist for the sake of having paid for the book but with this book I could not get into the story and have only managed 3 chapters.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Amazon Customer
    Newton Abbot, United Kingdom
    7/14/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Brilliant - new author to me"
    Any additional comments?

    I loved the ambivalence and the sarcasm,the to and fro of conversation and the way unexpected relationships develop. The scene I enjoyed the most was 'the kiss', this is not a book full sex - there is one kiss and it is long awaited and pleased me a lot. The scene that moved me the most was the scene with Quin in a prison cell and Matheus in hand and leg cuffs talking through an intercom. This is a very different vampire story - I have read a lot and would now count this amongst my top twenty. I can see lots of leads for further books and I will be buying them. As you can tell I really liked it.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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