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Agent to the Stars
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
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The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?
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Editorial reviews
Wil Wheaton, a Star Trek: The Next Generation alum, is a canny choice for narrator of this intersection of science fiction and Elmore Leonard-esque Hollywood farce. In addition to being a rather prominent footnote in sci-fi history, Wheaton’s also got a great voice — sonorous, with an inflection similar to a late-night radio DJ who’s bemusedly sharing an anecdote on air between tracks. His voice also carries a hint of that lilt peculiar to many native Angelenos, which comes in handy when he exaggerates it to Valley Girl-proportions to portray starlet Michelle Beck, former cheerleader and current box office draw.
Hollywood agent Tom Stein is the book’s hero, and when the story begins, Michelle is his most important client. That is, until Tom meets Joshua, an extraterrestrial whose alien race hires Tom and his boss, superagent Carl Lupo, to represent them. The Yherajk have decided their best hope for a peaceful first contact between their race and all of humanity is to out themselves via the movies, and they know if they want to make it in Hollywood, they need good representation.
Wheaton’s voicing of Joshua, who has traveled to Earth as the Yherajk’s representative, is another highlight. Joshua, like his kinsmen, looks like a gelatinous blob, gives off a noxious odor, and slithers around amorphously. He’s also incredibly educated when it comes to human pop culture, having logged countless hours watching sitcoms. Wheaton delivers Joshua’s line, “We look like snot. And we smell like dead fish,” in a nasally deadpan that suits a one-liner-delivering alien to a T.
Even when Scalzi veers into semi-philosophical territory — as when he explores why an alien race would choose a Hollywood debut over staging their premiere in Washington — Wheaton keeps the narration moving with his just-right character voices. Look out for the both silly and spot-on sounding Quebecois accent he uses to portray Roland Lanois, an art-house film director with a critical role in the novel, and for his Buddha-like turn as Gwedif, a Yherajk storyteller. —Maggie Frank
Publisher's summary
The space-faring Yherajk have come to Earth to meet us and to begin humanity's first interstellar friendship. There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents. But although Stein may have just concluded the biggest deal of his career, it's quite another thing to negotiate for an entire alien race. To earn his percentage this time, he's going to need all the smarts, skills, and wits he can muster.
Critic reviews
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Story4 out of 5 stars 318
Four bodies, each with a single bullet wound in the back of the head, stacked like cordwood in a weed-choked vacant lot: That's the front-page news facing Carter Ross, investigative reporter with the Newark Eagle-Examiner. Immediately dispatched to the scene, Carter learns that the four victims - an exotic dancer, a drug dealer, a hustler, and a mama's boy - came from different parts of the city and didn't seem to know one another.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Wish Brad Parks were more prolific!!!!
- By shelley on 02-16-18
By: Brad Parks
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The Eyre Affair
- A Thursday Next Novel
- By: Jasper Fforde
- Narrated by: Susan Duerden
- Length: 12 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,714
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,192
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 2,193
In Jasper Fforde's Great Britain, circa 1985, time travel is routine, cloning is a reality (dodos are the resurrected pet of choice), and literature is taken very, very seriously. England is a virtual police state where an aunt can get lost (literally) in a Wordsworth poem and forging Byronic verse is a punishable offense. All this is business as usual for Thursday Next, renowned Special Operative in literary detection.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
A Worthy Read
- By chicagoalum on 01-21-10
By: Jasper Fforde
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Variable Star
- By: Robert A. Heinlein, Spider Robinson
- Narrated by: Spider Robinson
- Length: 11 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 697
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 455
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 458
At his death in 1988, Robert A. Heinlein left a legacy that almost single-handedly defined modern science fiction. But one of Heinlein's masterpieces was never finished. In 1955, he began work on Variable Star, a powerful and passionate tale of two young lovers driven apart by pride, power, and the vastness of interstellar time and space. Now, the Heinlein estate has authorized award-winning author Spider Robinson to expand his outline into a full-length novel. And the result is vintage Heinlein.
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1 out of 5 stars
-
Spider WHO
- By Randall on 04-25-09
By: Robert A. Heinlein, and others
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Aphrodite
- By: Russell Andrews
- Narrated by: Buck Schirner
- Length: 11 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 184
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 157
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 156
It looked for all the world like a terrible, tragic accident. Susanna Morgan had gotten up in the middle of the night, tripped, fallen, and broken her neck. Yet when detective Justin Westwood inspects the victim's apartment, he can't help noticing that the details don't quite add up. The glass on the bedside table is knocked over but there are no cuts on her body. The scrape on her knee looks suspiciously fresh. And then a terrified witness comes forward, confirming his worst fear.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Just Works - Wonderfully
- By Ted on 05-03-12
By: Russell Andrews
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Weekend Warriors
- Sisterhood, Book 1
- By: Fern Michaels
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,030
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 857
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 855
On the surface, these seven women are as different as can be - but each has had her share of bad luck, from cheating husbands to sexist colleagues to a legal system that often doesn't do its job. Now, drawn together by tragedy, they're forging a bond that will help them right the wrongs committed against them and discover an inner strength they didn't know they had. The Sisterhood is learning that when bad things happen, you can roll over and play dead...or you can get up fighting...
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Weekend Warriors
- By Ms Mare on 04-04-09
By: Fern Michaels
-
Waste of Space
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg, Maxwell Glick
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 35
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 30
Cram 10 hormonal teens into a spaceship and blast off: that's the premise for the ill-conceived reality show Waste of Space. The kids who are cast know everything about drama - and nothing about the fact that the production is fake. Hidden in a desert warehouse, their spaceship replica is equipped with state-of-the-art special effects dreamed up by the scientists partnering with the shady cable network airing the show.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
#CatchPhraseForever
- By Diane S. on 07-28-17
By: Gina Damico
-
The Unincorporated Man
- By: Dani Kollin, Eytan Kollin
- Narrated by: Todd McLaren
- Length: 23 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 463
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 318
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 322
The Unincorporated Man is a provocative social/political/economic novel that takes place in the future, after civilization has fallen into complete economic collapse. This reborn civilization is one in which every individual is incorporated at birth and spends many years trying to attain control over his or her own life by getting a majority of his or her own shares. Life extension has made life very long indeed.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Hmm
- By CB on 06-15-09
By: Dani Kollin, and others
-
The Good Byline
- A Riley Ellison Mystery
- By: Jill Orr
- Narrated by: Sarah Naughton
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 53
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 47
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 47
Meet Riley Ellison, a smart, quirky, young library assistant who's become known in her hometown of Tuttle Corner, Virginia, as Riley Bless-Her-Heart. Ever since her beloved granddaddy died and her longtime boyfriend broke up with her, Riley has been withdrawing from life. In an effort to rejoin the living, she signs up for an online dating service and tries to reconnect with her childhood best friend, Jordan James, a reporter at the Tuttle Times.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
Entertaining light mystery
- By Elisabeth Carey on 04-13-18
By: Jill Orr
-
Short Squeeze
- By: Chris Knopf
- Narrated by: Deanna Hurst
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 105
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 58
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 60
Meet smart-aleck Southampton attorney Jackie Swaitkowski. Her business relies on constant movement of Hamptons' real estate market. After making an odd request to evict his sister-in-law from his home, one of her clients turns up dead. Jackie would have expected that to be the end of it, but an envelope found on the corpse contains an item so unusual that she finds herself working on something bigger, and more dangerous, than real estate.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Great Listen - Good Series
- By Patricia on 02-15-10
By: Chris Knopf
-
A Pedigree to Die For
- A Melanie Travis Mystery
- By: Laurien Berenson
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 359
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 324
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 324
The apparent heart attack that killed kennel owner Max Turnbull has left seven pups in mourning, and his wife Peg suspecting foul play. But the only evidence is their missing prize pooch - a pedigreed poodle named Beau.
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1 out of 5 stars
-
Could not get beyond first chapters
- By DamselflyStudio on 11-07-20
By: Laurien Berenson
-
The Unsung Hero
- Troubleshooters, Book 1
- By: Suzanne Brockmann
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor, Melanie Ewbank
- Length: 15 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 503
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 448
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 450
After a near-fatal head injury, Navy SEAL lieutenant Tom Paoletti catches a glimpse of an international terrorist in his New England hometown. When he calls for help, the Navy dismisses the sighting as injury-induced imaginings. In a last-ditch effort to prevent disaster, Tom creates his own makeshift counterterrorism team, assembling his most loyal officers, two elderly war veterans, a couple of misfit teenagers, and Dr. Kelly Ashton.
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4 out of 5 stars
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New narration breathes life into this for me
- By Kindle Customer (VH) on 06-21-16
-
Dog Dish of Doom
- An Agent to the Paws Mystery
- By: E. J. Copperman
- Narrated by: Christy Romano
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 232
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 207
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 207
Kay Powell wants to find that break-out client who will become a star. And she thinks she's found him: His name is Bruno, and he has to be walked three times a day. Kay is the Agent to the Paws, representing showbiz clients who aren't exactly people. In fact: they're dogs. Bruno's humans, Trent and Louise, are pains in the you-know-what, and Les McMaster, the famous director mounting a revival of Annie, might not hire Bruno just because he can't stand them.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Unfortunately Riddled with Mispronunciations.
- By Maggie May on 02-01-18
By: E. J. Copperman
-
On Borrowed Time
- By: David Rosenfelt
- Narrated by: Chris Ensweiler
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 316
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 232
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 233
Richard Kilmer is head over heels in love with Jennifer Ryan, who takes him home to meet her parents, where she accepts his marriage proposal. While visiting, they set out on a nostalgic drive up to Kendrick Falls. On their way, a freak storm rolls in, Richard loses control of his car, and it rolls. When the storm clears in a matter of seconds, Jen is gone. Richard can't find her, and neither can the police who respond to the scene.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not enough dogs!
- By Rowan Mangan on 09-18-11
By: David Rosenfelt
-
Until Proven Guilty
- J. P. Beaumont Series, Book 1
- By: J. A. Jance
- Narrated by: Gene Engene
- Length: 8 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 839
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 709
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 708
Lurking in the dark corners of J. P. Beaumont's bizarre case was not just a demented mind obsessed with murder, but secrets so deadly that even a street-tough cop could die guessing.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Until proven guilty
- By Jean on 04-21-11
By: J. A. Jance
-
For Whom The Minivan Rolls
- Aaron Tucker Mystery, Book 1
- By: Jeffrey Cohen
- Narrated by: Damon Abdallah
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 38
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 33
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32
Aaron Tucker isn't a detective. So he's baffled when the richest guy in his New Jersey town insists that Aaron, and Aaron alone, investigate the disappearance of his wife, who has inexplicably vanished from their home in the middle of the night. Funny, down-to-earth, lovable, and resourceful, Aaron Tucker, family man and freelance writer, reluctantly says yes, and continuously wishes he hadn't.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Funny, Great Narration, Weak Mystery
- By Karen K on 07-16-15
By: Jeffrey Cohen
-
The Rabbit Factory
- By: Marshall Karp
- Narrated by: Tom Stechschulte, James Jenner
- Length: 14 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 189
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 155
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 156
Marshall Karp is an acclaimed playwright known for his witty sense of humor and crackling dialogue. His debut novel The Rabbit Factory stars the irreverent LAPD detective duo of Mike Lomax and Terry Biggs. Dean Lamaar is the architect of an entertainment empire and the creator of iconic characters like Rambunctious Rabbit and McGreedy the Moose.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Bizarre but engaging mystery.1st-rate performance.
- By MidwestGeek on 12-19-12
By: Marshall Karp
-
Baltimore Blues
- Tess Monaghan, Book 1
- By: Laura Lippman
- Narrated by: Deborah Hazlett
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,500
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,201
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,193
Unemployed at 29, Tess Monaghan is willing to take any freelance job to pay the rent—including a bit of unorthodox snooping for her rowing buddy, Darryl "Rock" Paxton. In a city where someone is murdered almost every day, attorney Michael Abramowitz's death should be just another statistic. But the slain lawyer's notoriety—and his noontime trysts with Rock's fiancée—make the case front page news...and point to Rock as the likely murderer. But trying to prove her friend's innocence could prove costly to Tess.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
I'm on #8 - This series is almost unique
- By connie on 02-19-12
By: Laura Lippman
-
Too Close to Home
- By: Linwood Barclay
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 475
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 404
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 400
In a quiet suburban neighborhood, in the house next door, a family is brutally murdered for no apparent reason. You can't help thinking, "That could have been us". And you start to wonder, "What if we're next?" That's the question Jim and Ellen Cutter are asking, and the answers aren't reassuring.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Plots and subplots galore
- By shelley on 04-10-14
By: Linwood Barclay
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 413
Equipped with the entirety of human knowledge, a sentient ship is launched on a last-ditch journey to find a new home for civilization. Trillions of miles. Tens of thousands of years. In the space between, the AI has plenty of time to think about life, the vastness of the universe, everything it was meant to do, and—with a perspective created but not limited by humans—what it should do.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Lovely story! Lovely performance
- By Lisa on 06-28-23
By: John Scalzi
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The Dispatcher
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Zachary Quinto
- Length: 2 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 83,351
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 76,493
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 76,275
Zachary Quinto - best known for his role as the Nimoy-approved Spock in the recent Star Trek reboot and the menacing, power-stealing serial killer, Sylar, in Heroes - brings his well-earned sci-fi credentials and simmering intensity to this audio-exclusive novella from master storyteller John Scalzi. One day, not long from now, it becomes almost impossible to murder anyone - 999 times out of a thousand, anyone who is intentionally killed comes back. How? We don't know.
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5 out of 5 stars
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IT'S HARD TO GET MYSTICAL ABOUT YOUR JOB
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-05-16
By: John Scalzi
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Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9,602
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 8,534
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,528
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
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A Very Scalzi Christmas
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, Dina Pearlman, Kevin T. Collins, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 474
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 424
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 424
New York Times best-selling and Hugo Award-winning author John Scalzi gift-wraps 15 short takes on the holiday season - interviews with holiday notables, "informational" articles about TV specials and Christmas carols, short stories and poems, and even a couple of nods to Thanksgiving and New Year’s - and puts them all into a stocking stuffer-sized package that makes the perfect gift for friends, family, or yourself.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very Scalzian indeed!
- By Andre Wallace Simonsen on 12-03-19
By: John Scalzi
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Shadow War of the Night Dragons, Book One: The Dead City: Prologue
- A Tor.com Original
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: James MacKenzie
- Length: 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 141
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 126
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Story4 out of 5 stars 125
Here is Old Man's War author John Scalzi's sendup of the heroic fantasy genre, now a finalist for the Hugo Award for Best Short Story.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent Prologue, not short story
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 03-05-13
By: John Scalzi
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Rip-Off!
- By: John Scalzi, Jack Campbell, Mike Resnick, and others
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton, Scott Brick, Christian Rummel, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 1,593
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,436
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 1,439
In Rip-Off!, 13 of today’s best and most honored writers of speculative fiction face a challenge even they would be hard-pressed to conceive: Pick your favorite opening line from a classic piece of fiction (or even non-fiction) - then use it as the first sentence of an entirely original short story.
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4 out of 5 stars
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When is a rip-off not a rip-off?
- By Julie W. Capell on 11-24-13
By: John Scalzi, and others
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When the Moon Hits Your Eye
- By: John Scalzi
- Length: Not Yet Known
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
One day soon, suddenly and without explanation, the moon as we know it is replaced with an orb of cheese with the exact same mass. Through the length of an entire lunar cycle, from new moon to a spectacular and possibly final solar eclipse, we follow multiple characters—schoolkids and scientists, billionaires and workers, preachers and politicians—as they confront the strange new world they live in, and the absurd, impossible moon that now hangs above all their lives.
By: John Scalzi
What listeners say about Agent to the Stars
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Nazdreg the thoughtful Ork
- 02-06-15
Delicious read!
Excellent story and fantastic narration. This was my first audio book in a long time that I really felt I could not put down. The performance made me laugh out loud in ways reading the book did not. Like many of John Scalzi books, the plot twists in unexpected ways and you are able to like most of the characters who are revealed to be more than who they first appear to be.
A grey choice for a fun, light listen.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Mari
- 12-31-12
Nice, But Predictable and Easy Listen
If you're looking for something kinda silly, not too challenging, but still well-written, this is your book. I figured out the direction of the story very early on, so I was a bit disappointed - the "twist" was not a twist at all. But, the narrator is terrific, perfect for the book, and the writing is decent, so I kept it on during my daily walk. Actually, I needed something like this, I'd been listening to too many tough, and depressing books about the Middle East.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jenny
- 03-10-15
Great as always!
scalzi is briliant as always. witty and neat humor and some serious undertones to be shure ;)
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Michael Bryant
- 05-04-18
Fun and amusing lightweight Sci-Fi romp
I enjoyed this fun story and really enjoy Wil Wheaton's narration. It was a bit predictable but I still enjoyed it.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Teresa Poole
- 03-18-19
So original
I laughed often and loudly while listening to Agent to the Stars. Fast paced and clever, with Wil Wheaton doing a great job. Original story and characters, that while often funny were poignant at times as well. Loved it!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Jeffery P. Lorig
- 01-30-17
Fun.
Story was fun and far-fetched. Wil Wheaton did a great job. If you're looking for an easy and entertaining listen then this is the perfect book.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Marc
- 06-15-16
A delightful conceit
An agent to the stars... Literally. Because how better to become famous than to hire a great agent?
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Marion S.
- 01-06-16
Fun concept, great narration, predictable story
What made the experience of listening to Agent to the Stars the most enjoyable?
The narrator, Wil Wheaton. I actually chose this book because of him! He always makes the characters come alive so well.
What about Wil Wheaton’s performance did you like?
Wil has a real talent for conveying snide comments and sarcasm in a way that highlights the humor the author is going for. He simply IS the protagonist. And the alien. And the diva. AND, AND, AND. He's delightful.
Any additional comments?
It's a fun book, and an enjoyable escape. Because of it's predictability and meandering in spots, I wouldn't say it's great literature ... but then again, it's Scalzi's first novel and one shouldn't expect "Ready, Player One".
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 01-28-18
Why isn't this a MOVIE????
An amazing ride. Well paced from start to finish. An original take and vast departure from any other story of first contact.
So, WHY is this not a movie??????
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Brian K. Robinson
- 07-19-12
Excelent story
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes. It's a novel take on the first contact story.
Have you listened to any of Wil Wheaton’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
First time I've heard a Wil Wheaton performance. I didn't realize it was him until I read the notes. Very well done and good character voices.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
The very end.
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