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Punpkins for Cheap
- A Grotesque Horror, Novelette
- Narrated by: Ronald Young
- Length: 1 hr and 28 mins
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Punpkins for Cheap
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Publisher's summary
Just in time for Halloween! Trick or treat?
The first story is the trick.
The second story is the treat.
Punpkins for Cheap
This book should never be listened to by anyone. It's gross and immature. It's almost as if a small child wrote it. If you enjoy poorly written dark humor, you might like this book. I mean, there's a chapter titled "Tampons Are Not Yummy". So use your imagination as to what kind of story this is.
This book will get bad reviews (if anyone ever listens to it). I expect that. If I had to review it, I would say it was the dumbest book I have ever heard/wrote. However, it does make me laugh. (Oh yeah, it's kinda gross too.) At least it's short.
Plus, it could be scary. What if maggots evolved and wanted to take over the world? A maggot has invaded Jimbo's brain. The maggot has plans to make baby maggots and sell them inside jack-o-lanterns.
Plus a bonus story titled "Them Bones".
"Them Bones" is the most disturbing story I have ever written. It is true body horror! Probably one of the most twisted and bloodiest stories I have ever written. No spoilers, but it's about a man who falls in love with a skeleton. The skeleton asks him to make her pretty.
Proceed with caution.
Mature audiences only two extreme short stories.
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 44
In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie Notaro tries painfully to make the transition from all-night partyer and bar-stool regular to mortgagee with plumbing problems and no air conditioning. Laurie finds grown-up life just as harrowing as her reckless youth, as she meets Mr. Right, moves in, settles down, and crosses the toe-stubbing threshold of matrimony.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious
- By MissSusie66 on 05-10-12
By: Laurie Notaro
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Death Becomes Her
- The Kurtherian Gambit, Book 1
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,292
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,121
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,118
What you thought you knew about vampires and werewolves is wrong...so very, very, wrong. A thousand years of effort to keep the Unknown World hidden is unraveling and the Patriarch is tired. He needs to find someone to take over. He finds Bethany Anne.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Vamp action at its' finest
- By BikeVON on 04-19-17
By: Michael Anderle
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Godshot
- A Novel
- By: Chelsea Bieker
- Narrated by: Lauren Ezzo
- Length: 11 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 177
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 159
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Story4 out of 5 stars 159
Drought has settled on the town of Peaches, California. The area of the Central Valley where fourteen-year-old Lacey May and her alcoholic mother live was once an agricultural paradise. Now it's an environmental disaster, a place of cracked earth and barren raisin farms. In their desperation, residents have turned to a cult leader named Pastor Vern for guidance. He promises, through secret "assignments," to bring the rain everybody is praying for.
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4 out of 5 stars
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flawless novel, not the best narration
- By Adrienne on 05-05-20
By: Chelsea Bieker
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Light from Other Stars
- A Novel
- By: Erika Swyler
- Narrated by: Kyla Garcia
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 67
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 59
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Story4 out of 5 stars 59
Eleven-year-old Nedda Papas is obsessed with becoming an astronaut. In 1986 in Easter, a small Florida Space Coast town, her dreams seem almost within reach - if she can just grow up fast enough. Theo, the scientist father she idolizes, is consumed by his own obsessions. Laid off from his job at NASA and still reeling from the loss of Nedda's newborn brother several years before, Theo turns to the dangerous dream of extending his living daughter's childhood just a little longer. The result is an invention that alters the fabric of time.
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5 out of 5 stars
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How does she do it?
- By BLF on 07-30-19
By: Erika Swyler
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George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,026
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,861
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,860
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
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Home Is Where the Bodies Are
- By: Jeneva Rose
- Narrated by: January LaVoy, Cassandra Campbell, Brittany Pressley, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 873
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 855
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 855
After their mother passes, three estranged siblings reunite to sort out her estate. Beth, the oldest, never left home. She stayed with her mom, caring for her until the very end. Nicole, the middle child, has been kept at arm’s length due to her ongoing battle with a serious drug addiction. Michael, the youngest, lives out of state and hasn’t been back to their small Wisconsin town since their father ran out on them seven years before. While going through their parent’s belongings, the siblings stumble upon a collection of home videos and decide to revisit those happier memories.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not what I expected
- By Natasha A on 05-22-24
By: Jeneva Rose
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The Art of War
- By: Sun Tzu
- Narrated by: Aidan Gillen
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 40,585
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 33,566
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33,147
The 13 chapters of The Art of War, each devoted to one aspect of warfare, were compiled by the high-ranking Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher Sun-Tzu. In spite of its battlefield specificity, The Art of War has found new life in the modern age, with leaders in fields as wide and far-reaching as world politics, human psychology, and corporate strategy finding valuable insight in its timeworn words.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The actual book The Art of War, not a commentary
- By Fred271 on 12-31-19
By: Sun Tzu
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Dietrich
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 11 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,248
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,163
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,163
It’s the summer of ’77 in New York City, and the only thing more unnerving than the scorching heatwave is the rampant murder, leaving washed-up homicide detective Richard Dietrich on edge. When Dietrich investigates a brutal mob hit the brass doesn’t want him to solve, he goes from phoning it in to getting in over his head. Caught up in a mysterious second homicide with an even more perplexing perpetrator, Dietrich starts to second guess his instincts—and his memory—as he searches for answers at the bottom of a bottle.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Haunting ending
- By Shirley Anderson on 04-21-24
By: Don Winslow
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The Holy Bible: King James Version
- The Old and New Testaments
- By: King James Bible
- Narrated by: Scott Brick, Prentice Onayemi, Ellen Archer, and others
- Length: 82 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,015
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 806
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Story5 out of 5 stars 799
This newer edition of the King James Bible published in 1769 is usually preferred by most that read it over the older 1611 version. This 1769 edition is highly sought after due to being more reader/listener friendly than the 1611 since many typos were fixed.... We hope your new audio bible will go everywhere with you and be a blessing for years to come.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very Good
- By José de Ribera on 12-17-20
By: King James Bible
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He Who Fights with Monsters 2
- A LitRPG Adventure (He Who Fights with Monsters, Book 2)
- By: Shirtaloon, Travis Deverell
- Narrated by: Heath Miller
- Length: 22 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 26,520
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 23,276
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Story5 out of 5 stars 23,221
But Jason Asano is settling into his new life. Now, a contest draws young elites to the city of Greenstone to compete for a grand prize. Jason must gather a band of companions if he is to stand a chance against the best the world has to offer. While the young adventurers are caught up in competition, the city leaders deal with revelations of betrayal as a vast and terrible enemy is revealed. Although Jason seems uninvolved, he has unknowingly crossed the enemy’s path before.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Contrary to common reviews
- By Karen on 05-21-21
By: Shirtaloon, and others
![Dracula [Audible Edition] Audiobook By Bram Stoker cover art](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51ef+s6y42L._SL320_.jpg)
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Dracula [Audible Edition]
- By: Bram Stoker
- Narrated by: Alan Cumming, Tim Curry, Simon Vance, and others
- Length: 15 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 34,887
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 31,565
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 31,475
The modern audience hasn't had a chance to truly appreciate the unknowing dread that readers would have felt when reading Bram Stoker's original 1897 manuscript. Most modern productions employ campiness or sound effects to try to bring back that gothic tension, but we've tried something different. By returning to Stoker's original storytelling structure - a series of letters and journal entries voiced by Jonathan Harker, Dr. Van Helsing, and other characters - with an all-star cast of narrators, we've sought to recapture its originally intended horror and power.
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5 out of 5 stars
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IS THAT NOT SO?
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 11-05-15
By: Bram Stoker
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Treasure Island
- An Audible Original Drama
- By: Robert Louis Stevenson, Marty Ross - adaptation
- Narrated by: Philip Glenister, Daniel Mays, Catherine Tate, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 37,142
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 33,289
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33,108
Audible Originals takes to the high seas to bring to life this timeless tale of pirates, lost treasure maps and mutiny. When weathered old sailor Billy Bones arrives at the inn of young Jim Hawkins' parents, it is the start of an adventure beyond anything he could have imagined. When Bones dies mysteriously, Jim stumbles across a map of a mysterious island in his sea chest, where X marks the spot of a stash of buried pirate gold.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A reflective adventure
- By Tad Davis on 09-12-17
By: Robert Louis Stevenson, and others
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The Jane Austen Collection
- An Audible Original Drama
- By: Jane Austen
- Narrated by: Claire Foy, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Billie Piper, and others
- Length: 45 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 2,776
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 2,464
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Story5 out of 5 stars 2,437
Renowned as much for her wit and satirical social commentary as for her stories of love and romance, Jane Austen remains unfailingly relevant and one of Britain’s best loved authors. In this Audible Original collection, an all-star list of narrators (Billie Piper, Claire Foy, Emma Thompson, Florence Pugh and Gugu Mbatha-Raw) capture Austen’s pin-sharp humour and tone in these dramatisations of her six beloved novels accompanied by a full cast.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not a faithful rendition
- By Anne McClain on 12-13-20
By: Jane Austen
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Point Nemo
- By: Jeremy Robinson
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 936
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 899
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 899
In the heart of the South Pacific lies Point Nemo, the most desolate and remote place on Earth. At its core is a dead zone, devoid of life, where government agencies crash their obsolete satellites and space stations, confident they won't harm a soul. When the International Space Station suffers a catastrophic failure and plummets through the atmosphere, it's here that Mission Specialist Julie Rohr, an astrobiologist studying living space dust called xylem, finds herself marooned. Julie's only hope for rescue lies in the hands of her estranged father, Dr. Finn Maddern, a renowned mycologist.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Totally original-totally feasible!
- By Lawrence Tate on 04-10-24
By: Jeremy Robinson
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The Rip
- By: Holly Craig
- Narrated by: Carly Foxx, Shalom Brune-Franklin
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,689
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,648
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,648
Luxury villas on hot white sand, views for miles over turquoise water. Flawless hostess Penny gathers guests to an island for her husband’s birthday celebrations. But she soon regrets inviting self-obsessed Eloise. When a child vanishes on the night of the party, their perfect island weekend is ripped apart. Even paradise harbours murky secrets… Has he been taken? Has he drowned? In the panic to find any trace, Penny casts about for someone to blame—even if that person is her own daughter, Rosie. Even clear waters descend to pitch black.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Intriguing, Engaging, AND BEST NARATORS EVER
- By Hadassah on 03-12-24
By: Holly Craig
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What listeners say about Punpkins for Cheap
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Becky
- 02-07-23
Gross and Discusting
Don't let the title - Punpkins - make you think this is a Halloween story for kids. It is not. A maggot taking over a live body. Planning to take over the world. Gross. Then the bonus story. A cop falls in love with a plastic skeleton and wants to make her happy any way she wants.
I listened to Audible version of this book. The narrator presented it very well.
It's funny. It's gross. It's disgusting. It's so entertaining. Thank goodness it's short.
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