Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand

Curious Adventures of a CSI

By: Dana Kollmann

Narrated by: Kate Zane

Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins

Publisher's summary

Step past the flashing lights into the true scene of the crime with this frank, unflinching, and unforgettable account of life as a crime scene investigator. Whether explaining rigor mortis or the art of fingerprinting a stiff corpse on the side of the road, Dana Kollmann details her true, unvarnished experiences as a CSI for the Baltimore County Police Department.

Unlike the popular crime dramas proliferating on today's television networks, these forensic tales forgo glitz for grit to show what really goes on. Kollmann recounts stories that the cops and the CSIs usually leave in the field, bringing the sights, smells, and sounds of a crime scene alive as never before.

Unveiling the process and science of crime scene investigation in all its fascination, Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand takes you into the strange world behind the yellow tape, offering a truly eye-opening perspective on the day-to-day life of a CSI.

Contains mature themes.

©2007 Dana D. Kollmann (P)2021 Tantor

At times gory but often sidesplittingly funny

Dana introduces us to a world usually hidden from the public’s view and does so with no holds barred and endless Witt and humor. I was sad when it ended

Fantastic and funny

I greatly enjoyed this book as my daughter is studying to enter this field. The real-life descriptions and the author's humor make this an enjoyable listen.

I love it!

I am a nurse and am interested in this line of work. thank you for showing us th inside of Crime Scene investigators and giving us a laugh in the process!

Great Book

Loved every bit of it, would read again. The stories were a hoot, but the lessons she learned were powerful.

Loved it!

I see some reviewers were put off by the author’s sometimes-snarky sense of humor, but, being possessed of a similar style myself, I enjoyed it. She didn’t even spare us her own personal public restroom horror stories. One had me literally laugh out loud.

Though some of the voices were grating (as intended), the narrator did a pretty good job.

Overall great

I love the book and also the narrator. The only thing I didn't like was the voices the narrator did... awful!

great book

this book was very interesting and informative. the author had a great perspective on the pros and cons of the job, I felt like I was there with them while they described the scenes they worked on. some of the descriptions are gross, as one would expect, so take note of that when you're eating while listening. (If you're bothered by that type of thing)

The narrator nails it! The author, though...

The narrator absolutely nails the spirit and inflection of the author's words. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to her!

I also absolutely loved that this book tells it like it REALLY is in the CSI world. I've long been fascinated by TV shows from NCIS to Forensic Files, but none of them portray anything close to reality. This book is all reality, and it's very refreshing, in that sense.

The author also seems to have her head on straight in terms of the fact that racism is bad; but that's where her tolerance for social justice seems to end. The number of times mentally handicapped people, mentally ill people, and people with substance abuse issues are ridiculed and called derogatory names in this book is disturbing.

I get that it's difficult to maintain sympathy and empathy when one deals with difficult situations all night every night. But one would hope for a more reflective stance when writing from a retrospective position.

I don't imagine the author will ever read this review, but I did want to leave it in the hopes that it can help anyone with triggers surrounding mental health make an educated decision about whether or not to listen.

Better than watching CSI on TV!

I’m a science junkie and really enjoyed this book. Try it, you might like it.

Fascinating & Enlightening

I’ve long thought being a CSI would be fascinating, but after reading this book I’m glad my fascination with crime and crime scenes never led me to actually pursue such a career.
There’s no way I could handle the truly awful, gory and heart-wrenching scenes attended by those who work in the CSI field.
This was a fascinating (and often funny) book that will make you appreciate these unsung heroes & squash any ideas you may have had about going for a ride along, haha.