When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

By: George Carlin

Narrated by: George Carlin

Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins

Publisher's summary

Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers.

Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Cliches; 13 Sections of Euphemisms) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence.

He also has a silly side:

You know what kind of guy you never see anymore? A fop.

A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed."

I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they're interested in fashion.

I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we don't talk, he works out alone, and I go home.

Here's something you can't do by yourself: practice shaking hands.

When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not an agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.

Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!

O.J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.

©2004 Comedy Concepts, Inc. (P)2004 Hyperion

Critic reviews

• Audie Award Finalist, Humor, 2005
• 2005 Quill Award Nominee
• Grammy Award Nominee, Best Spoken Word Album, 2005

"There's no better way to enjoy one of Carlin's books than to hear him read it himself....Carlin has his comic timing down pat. His energetic reading is punctuated by conversational bits and enhanced by his deft vocal variation, making listeners feel as if they've got a front-row seat at one of his comedy shows." (Publishers Weekly)

Selectively Funny

I'm about half-way through the book, and will hopefully be able to finish it without a lot more pain. Most of his monologues are humorous and the language not out of line. Then, in between topics, he'll go into a news story imitation or similar and get into language that would make Andrew Dice Clay blush; and the material is just not that funny. If he'd stick to the monologues (Aliens, 10 Commandments, etc...) and didn't feel as if he had to use every known curse word (repeatedly), this book would be 5-star material.

One mean, angry jerk.

Jeez! George sure has changed over the years! Always funny and sometimes cynical, he's just hateful now. What happened? Doesn't he know that 96 percent of the US believes in God? He arrogantly suggests that those of faith are morons.

Not funny anymore. All he does is rant about how he's smarter than everyone else.

This is not a good book

Struggled to get even half way through this book. Perhaps i just don't get this kind of comedy. I would suggest at least getting a sample of this guys work before you download. Sorry George.

He gets a 'D'...

Loved "Brain Droppings" and "Last Words", but while this does have funny moments, it is not recommendable.

Boring and a Big Waste of Time

A 15 minute abridged version would give you all of the worthwhile content of this "book". I suffered though the 7 hours of crap hoping for more..it wasn't there. Save yourself alot of time and find something else.

30 minutes of George's best humor!

Unfortunately, this book is over seven hours long. This book had some very funny stuff in it! But it is torture listening to him blather on in between the funny parts. Don't buy it if you are religious. The only really funny part was when he was making fun of religion. George, why would you make a book seven hours long when you only had an hour of worth while material? I persevered through three hours of the book before I finally gave up. I can not imagine that I could ever be bored enough to finish listening to this book.

A book I COULD put down

I've loved George Carlin. And I identify with many of his views on life. But his latest book is missing the most important ingredient of the ones I've loved in the past; humor. This book (and I confess I could not finish it) is just not funny. I wanted it to be. I expected it to be. It wasn't.
I listened beyond my normal tolerance hoping for a major turn, but after I had dutifully hung on for nearly 75%, I put myself out of my misery and turned my iPod back to something funnier; the presidential debates.

Bitter

In his younger years, I adored George Carlin, and have seen him several times in concert. In his later years, his humor was hateful and bitter. I thought this book would be different. I was wrong.

George Carlin = Angry Old Man

Without question George used to be my favorite comedian. However, as time has gone by I've noticed much of his "humor" has turned into complaint filled ramblings that make him sound just like any other bitter old man except he curses a whole lot more. Sadly he just isn't funny anymore. :(

Disappointing

Some of my biggest laughs have come from George Carlin, in the past. But he seems to have moved from smart & funny to simply snide & snotty with an obsessive political agenda. I'm crushed - used to enjoy laughing out loud at his work. One (or both) of us is getting old and jaded.