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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
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Publisher's summary
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder. As she details the chaos that will surely ensue if she has to learn to operate one more television remote control, you'll want to settle in and pour yourself a tall one. Because what's more fun than hearing a friend share her favorite stories?
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- By: Melissa Francis
- Narrated by: Cris Dukehart
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
When Melissa Francis was eight years old, she won the role of lifetime: playing Cassandra Cooper Ingalls, the little girl who was adopted with her brother (played by young Jason Bateman) by the Ingalls family on the world’s most famous prime-time soap opera, Little House on the Prairie. But behind the scenes, her success was fueled by the pride, pressure, and sometimes grinding cruelty of her stage mother.
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Awesome book - really enjoyed it.
- By Jane C. Bailey on 11-16-12
By: Melissa Francis
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Why I Hate Green Beans
- And Other Confessions About Relationships, Reality TV, and How We See Ourselves
- By: Lincee Ray
- Narrated by: Lincee Ray
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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If there is one thing Lincee Ray has learned over the years, it's that the majority of women on the planet struggle with insecurities. Our skinny jeans mock us. Our just-trying-to-help mothers are just driving us crazy. Our social media feeds taunt us with everyone else's picture-perfect lives. It's enough to send you on a gummy-bear bender while binge-watching Friends reruns and not showering for a week. Lincee knows. She's been there. Right there, in fact. Gummy bears and all.
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Perfect in every way!
- By Anonymous User on 10-19-22
By: Lincee Ray
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
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What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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30 Before 30
- How I Made a Mess of 20s, and You Can Too
- By: Marina Shifrin
- Narrated by: Marina Shifrin
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Something was nagging Marina Shifrin. As a freshly minted adult with student loan payments and a “real” job she hated that paid her enough to get by if she also worked two other jobs, something needed to change. Marina and her friend each made lists of 30 things they’d do before the age of 30. The first thing on Marina’s list was, “Quit My Shitty Job”. So she did, and just like that the List powered her through her twenties. Told with humor and heart, 30 Before 30 will entertain, motivate, and challenge listeners to get out of their comfort zones and live their best lives.
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Inspiring read
- By Chris Gledhill on 12-18-18
By: Marina Shifrin
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Hardly Knew Her
- By: Laura Lippman
- Narrated by: Linda Emond, Francois Battiste
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Each of these ingenious tales is a gem, sometimes poignant, sometimes humorous, always filled with delightfully unanticipated twists and reversals. For people who have yet to listen to Lippman, get ready to experience the spellbinding power of "one of today's most pleasing storytellers" ( San Diego Union-Tribune). As for longtime devotees of her multiple award-winning novels, you'll discover that you hardly know her.
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I Love Laura Lippman
- By Joy on 07-15-11
By: Laura Lippman
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The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
- True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
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Sweet and funny
- By Julia Valentin on 12-19-20
By: Laurie Notaro
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Agorafabulous!
- Dispatches From My Bedroom
- By: Sara Benincasa
- Narrated by: Sara Benincasa
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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One of the funniest and most poignant books ever written about a mental illness, Agorafabulous! is a hilarious, raw, and unforgettable account of how a terrified young woman, literally trapped by her own imagination, evolved into a (relatively) high-functioning professional smartass. Down to earth and seriously funny, Benincasa's no-holds-barred revelations offer listeners the politically incorrect hilarity they heartily crave, yet is so often missing from your typical, weepy, and redemptive personal memoir.
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More Fun than a Good Cry in a Bathroom Stall
- By Susie on 03-05-15
By: Sara Benincasa
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People I Want to Punch in the Throat
- Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges
- By: Jen Mann
- Narrated by: Jen Mann
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Jen Mann doesn't have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of moms' night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship, nothing's sacred or off-limits.
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Boring, not funny, and kind of mean
- By Jess on 11-22-19
By: Jen Mann
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What Doesn't Kill You
- By: Virginia DeBerry, Donna Grant
- Narrated by: Virginia DeBerry, Donna Grant
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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What Doesn't Kill You is the story of how Thomasina Hodges, a.k.a. Tee, loses her job and finds herself. Tee's evolution after her sudden and unexpected outplacement, is loosely based on the stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, relinquishing, readjusting, and reinvesting. For Tee, losing her job is like a death, but with time, and some bumps, bruises and a new attitude, she comes out on the other side, having reassessed what's important in her life.
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Excellent story
- By Doris Greene on 04-11-24
By: Virginia DeBerry, and others
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SO worth the credit! This book could save lives!
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Super Jen Lancaster Fans Be Warned...
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Twenty years after ruling the halls of her suburban Chicago high school, Lissy Ryder doesn't understand why her glory days ended. Back then, she was worshipped...beloved...feared. Present day, not so much. She's been pink-slipped from her high-paying job, dumped by her husband and kicked out of her condo. Now, at 37, she's struggling to start a business out of her parents' garage and sleeping under the hair-band posters in her old bedroom. Lissy finally realizes karma is the only bitch bigger than she was.
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Love Jen... but please, please don't narrate
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By: Jen Lancaster
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By the Numbers
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Actuary Penny Sinclair has a head for business, and she always makes rational decisions. Knowing that 60 percent of spouses cheat and 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, she wasn't too surprised when her husband had an affair. (That he did so with a woman their daughter's age? Well, that part did sting a bit.) She just made sure she got everything in the divorce, including their lovely old Victorian house. And as soon as her younger daughter has her hipster-fabulous wedding in the backyard, she's trading it in for a condo in downtown Chicago....
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Narrator is bland, slow. Story is good.
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By: Jen Lancaster
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Bright Lights, Big Ass
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She can be very funny.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
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My Fair Lazy
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Disappointing ... Both Narration and Story
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The fiction debut of the New York Times best-selling author of My Fair Lazy. Told in the uproariously entertaining voice readers have come to expect from Jen Lancaster, If You Were Here follows Amish-zombie-teen- romance author Mia and her husband Mac (and their pets) through the alternately frustrating, exciting, terrifying - but always funny - process of buying and renovating their first home in the Chicago suburbs that John hughes's movies made famous.
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A Jen Lancaster disappointment
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By: Jen Lancaster
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The Best of Enemies
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Overall
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Performance
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Bridesmaids meets Big Little Lies in a novel told from the alternating perspectives of two women who define the term frenemies - from New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster. Jacqueline Jordan knows conflict. A fearless journalist, she’s spent the past decade embedded in the world’s hot spots, writing about the fall of nations and the rise of despots. But if you were to inquire about who topped Jack’s enemy list, she’d not hesitate to answer: Kitty Carricoe.
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Unexpected pleasure with engaging dialgoue
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By: Jen Lancaster
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Excuse Me While I Disappear
- Tales of Midlife Mayhem
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Overall
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Laurie Notaro has proved everyone wrong: she didn’t end up in rehab, prison, or cremated at a tender age. She just went gray. At past fifty, every hair’s root is a symbol of knowledge (she knows how to use a landline), experience (she rode in a car with no seat belts), and superpowers (a gray-haired lady can get away with anything). Though navigating midlife is initially upsetting—the cracking noises coming from her new old body, receiving regular junk mail from mortuaries—Laurie accepts it. And then some.
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Meh. Maybe funnier with a different narrator
- By TK on 12-19-22
By: Laurie Notaro
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Broken (in the Best Possible Way)
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As Jenny Lawson’s hundreds of thousands of fans know, she suffers from depression. In Broken (in the Best Possible Way), Jenny brings listeners along on her mental and physical health journey, offering heartbreaking and hilarious anecdotes along the way. With people experiencing anxiety and depression now more than ever, Jenny humanizes what we all face in an all-too-real way, reassuring us that we’re not alone and making us laugh while doing it.
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The perfect follow up
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-21
By: Jenny Lawson
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Sociopath
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Patric Gagne realized she made others uncomfortable before she started kindergarten. Something about her caused people to react in a way she didn’t understand. She suspected it was because she didn’t feel things the way other kids did. Emotions like fear, guilt, and empathy eluded her. For the most part, she felt nothing. And she didn’t like the way that “nothing” felt.
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Fascinating and Perfect Performance!
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What listeners say about Stories I'd Tell in Bars
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- susie sunshine
- 02-11-20
I liked this book
Until you get to the part where you repeated "MO JI TO" over and over again. We get the point after the first or second time you say it. I think you lost me after that chapter even though I tried to focus. It was annoying (to me) but perhaps it won't bother other readers. (And I like a good mojito) Up to that point, I thought your stories were good and relatable.
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- CAO
- 01-09-20
Hilarious! A good dose of humour & honesty presented well by the authors.
Loved this book. Captures the feelings, thoughts & ideas so many of us have daily. The anecdotes are amusing. “Fletch’s last word” is priceless. Jen’s stream-of-consciousness approach to writing makes for an enjoyable read/listen, and gave a much needed break from the mundane writings I listened to lately. This book was recommended by friends & I was not disappointed!!
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- Elaine Duncan
- 04-27-19
Love Jen’s memoirs
I live for Jen Lancaster‘s books! She makes me laugh out loud. As a dog foster mom and mom to a “bully breed” dog, I love hearing stories about her pets.
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- Dayna A. Safranek
- 10-11-19
Jen Lancaster does it again!
I’ve been a huge Jen Lancaster fan and have read every one of her books and also have this one in print, but when I saw that it was actually read by her and parts by Fletch, I couldn’t resist listening instead of reading. I really enjoyed this. Jen has a very effective speaking voice as does Fletch. The book flowed easily and I was laughing and relating as were not very far apart in age and I guess I fit perfectly with her humor. I get her because my humor is a lot like her. If you like Jen Lancaster’s books, you will enjoy this book. It’s a fun and lighthearted side of Lancaster mixed with a little serious and a dash of heart. The perfect cocktail.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Erin
- 06-14-24
She’s funny and that’s nice
I love the stories but I wish Jen and Fletch voiced the book themselves, the comedic timing would be better.
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- J Carter
- 07-11-19
Not my favorite
LOVE Jen Lancaster, but this book isn’t my favorite! Will def buy another audio book from her in the future!
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-11-20
Excellent!
Jen Lancaster has done it again! If you don’t listen to this book or read it you are truly missing out. Her wit and sarcasm will have you laughing all day!
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- Dogs & Horses
- 10-22-20
Missing that old zest
I'm a fan of Jen and I pre-order each book on Audible, so I am obviously comfortable with her style in general. She's quite relatable to us Gen X women who have little patience for nonsense, but endless time for animals.
Unfortunately, Stories I'll Tell In Bars felt forced and like it was reaching and not quite getting there. The Italy trip story dragged and there were hints of the earlier bitey humor, but in a weird, obligatory way. Like trying to be funny vs natural flow creating raucous silliness.
I'm not giving up on Lancaster at all, Fletch and the dogs are far more interesting than most junk on TV. Let's just hope Jen finds her groove again
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4 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-01-19
What a Riot
I laughed out loud countless times! Jen articulates and embellishes her stories in the perfect manner to extract the most humor from every situation. I throughly enjoyed this book and the fact that Jen and Fletch are the narrators made it even better! Jen and Fletch, I want to play pooly ball with you guys! Y’all stay classy! 💋
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- kevin
- 12-29-19
hilarious mature look at life
all the things and ways id probably look at life if i was in my 50s.
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