When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

By: George Carlin

Narrated by: George Carlin

Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins

Publisher's summary

Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers.

Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Cliches; 13 Sections of Euphemisms) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence.

He also has a silly side:

You know what kind of guy you never see anymore? A fop.

A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed."

I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they're interested in fashion.

I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we don't talk, he works out alone, and I go home.

Here's something you can't do by yourself: practice shaking hands.

When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not an agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.

Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!

O.J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.

©2004 Comedy Concepts, Inc. (P)2004 Hyperion

Critic reviews

• Audie Award Finalist, Humor, 2005
• 2005 Quill Award Nominee
• Grammy Award Nominee, Best Spoken Word Album, 2005

"There's no better way to enjoy one of Carlin's books than to hear him read it himself....Carlin has his comic timing down pat. His energetic reading is punctuated by conversational bits and enhanced by his deft vocal variation, making listeners feel as if they've got a front-row seat at one of his comedy shows." (Publishers Weekly)

Opened minded listening and understanding

The book is very funny and provides different views on many aspects on things that generally happen to life. More over sparks intriguing questions on why things are the way that they are, my personal favourites are on 10 commandments and the proposals for real life series that he reflects on which are broadcasted widely. Very thought provoking, sarcastic and funny, not for the faint hearted.

Whatever happened to profanity-free humor?

Any additional comments?

I think George Carlin had an excellent take on the English language. But what has happened to comedy over the past several decades? Long gone are the George Burns, the Bob Hopes, and the Johnny Carsons who were very funny without foul language. Very disappointing!

BORING!

I am a big George Carlin fan and have loved his stand up comedy for years. This new book of his delivered everything you would expect from George, except for a funny punch line. There's endless rambling about the same old stale topics and after the first few hours you'll feel as though you've been stuck in a room with an angry New York senior citizen who's forgotten where they left their sense of humor. Sorry George, but your new book stinks!

meh.

in this book, Carlin prrsents a lot of quick quipping with very little substance to carry the book.
stick to his standup unless you're a megafam

stuggled to finish

this book is a bunch of b-side one liners and throw away skits. the piano snippets between each track were horrible, corny and prompted to roll my eyes every time.

Depressing, Self-Indulgent, Depressing

A long time ago, I really enjoyed George Carlin's comedy. He was original, bright and extremely funny. However ... over the past several years, he has become nothing more than an empty shell.

I find that what he has to say is nothing more than mindless ramblings with a bunch of four letter words thrown in for chuckles. He is nothing more than an angry old man who thinks he is funny but isn't.

a huge fan of GC but this book sucks!

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

the def

What could George Carlin have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

not write it

Have you listened to any of George Carlin’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

not good at all

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

it is tired and not funny, sorry GC god rest your soul.......or not. (depending on you veiw)

Any additional comments?

this book sux, save your money.

Sad. . . . .

Listening to this book was painful. George Carlin blathers on, making no sense and not at all funny. To bad he's fallen on hard times.

Very little comedy

I grew up with Carlin & have enjoyed much of his rants. If you're looking for comedy, however, you'll find virtually none here. I chuckled twice, I think, & smiled 3 or 4 times. You may enjoy if you’re in a cynical mood, but not if you’re looking for humor.

Terrible

What can I say I was blown away at how average ..... it was simple mindless ranting. thought he was smart with the very regular use of the c and f word… I don’t mind smart swearing but it was just terrible