Carmilla

By: Kim Turrisi - adaption

Narrated by: Lori Prince

Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins

Publisher's summary

An adaptation of Shaftesbury's award-winning, groundbreaking queer vampire web series, Carmilla.

Newly escaped from the stifling boredom of a small town, college freshman Laura is ready for her first great adventure. But when her roommate, Betty, vanishes, and a sarcastic, nocturnal philosophy student named Carmilla moves into Betty's side of the room, Laura decides to play detective. Turns out, Betty isn't the first girl to go missing - she's just the first girl not to come back.

As Laura closes in on answers, tensions rise with Carmilla. Is this just a roommate relationship that isn't working out, or does Carmilla know more than she's letting on about the disappearances? What will Laura do if it turns out her roommate isn't just selfish and insensitive, but completely inhuman? And what will she do with the feelings she's starting to have for Carmilla?

©2019 Shaftesbury Sales Company (P)2019 Tantor

awesome

I loved it, but it was all over the place and not enough kissing

Great Retelling Of The Web Show That Did

Considering this is a novel version of season one of a web series done by Kinda TV on YouTube, this is great. I suggest you watch that first. Otherwise this will seem like a chaotic mess that makes little scenes.

Chaotic

Approximate 4 month timeline that felt like it was 4 days. Story was all over the place with major gaps that you just had to roll with and fill in on your own. Had good potential if there were more development.

The beloved and campy web series loses its charm

This is a level of bad that isn't endearing. Let's break it down.

The story:
The overall story is from the web series, obviously, but that doesn't mean it sticks to canon. Canon events happen but they feel incidental, as though the author wanted to do something else but was stopped only because canon events happened a specific way. Other times, canon is completely thrown out the window but we eventually make it back to the story with some hand waving. I get the feeling the author was privy to the original ideas and first drafts of the script because listening to this felt like listening to non-native speakers speaking your native language. Scenes kind of made sense and there were hits of the final edit, but the beat was off and well known lines/monologues were different. This wouldn't have been an issue if it didn't change the tone of the story and the drive of the characters.

The characters are a farce of themselves. I understand the script could have been a disaster because it's cheesy and campy, but the charm comes from the characters and how they're portrayed by their actors. To capture the chemistry between Elise and Natasha in written word is very difficult...oh wait, no it isn't. There are plenty of wonderful fanfics that capture their chemistry without turning them into farcical caricatures. All the actors brought charm and depth to these characters and this story erases that humanity and replaces it with one-dimensional, wooden writing.

The writing is atrocious. It feels like what a middle school girl would write when she's imagining what life is like at college. The web series is bound to one-room, one-camera set up by the nature of the show. This book could take us anywhere! We could go to class with Laura and see her interact with her beloved Professor Cochran or see Danny as her TA. We could go to the cafeteria and meet the alchemy club as they abduct test subjects. We could wander around the university grounds and see the creepy but beautiful architecture. We could have a fleshed out world in which the web series is a snippet of that life. What do we actually get? Well, we do go to the town hall meeting, we see the library, and we see a restaurant when Danny and Laura go on a kinda-date. For as much as this author didn't want to follow the plot, she doesn't want to expand on the universe and give us a reason for not sticking to canon.

The positives of the story. Yes, there are a few but they're short. I already loved Sharon's depiction of Danny but seeing her through Laura's rose-colored glasses really solidified my love of the character. Laura waxing poetic about Danny was a definite highlight. But let's be real--we're all here for the Hollstein. Compared to everything else in this book, the relationship between Carmilla and Laura was handled with care. It was definitely a slow burn on Laura's part but you could tell when Carmilla's feelings had flipped. There are a few bonus cute scenes between them, including a date.

The narrator:
I haven't listened to anything else by Lori Prince and maybe she is fantastic and this is her only bomb. But boy, did it bomb hard.

She attempts to do voices but they're very hard to distinguish and I feel she got lost in what voice she gave each character. She deepens her voice for all the characters so listening becomes a chore when I'm asking myself "is this deep voice for Perry or LaF?" and I'm wrong, it's Danny speaking. Laura is most likely her normal speaking voice, which makes Laura and the narrative stand out. Carmilla's voice has a 90s "ugh" tone to it, so it's also pretty noticeable. Kirsch has a "frat bro" voice. Everyone else, though, is a haze of the same tone and when there are multiple characters in the scene it can get confusing fast.

How do I put this delicately...if you're going to narrate audiobooks, check the pronunciation of words. I cannot blame Lori for the poor writing by Kim, but I can absolutely blame Lori for not knowing how to pronounce 'fungicide'.

Sometimes a story is so bad it becomes funny or circles around to be good through a certain lens. This is not one of those stories. I was messaging a friend the entire time I was listening to this telling her how bad it was and how much longer I had left to listen. Seriously, do yourself a favor and look up some fanfic if you're really jonesing for additional Carmilla content.