Humor Satire Adventure

It was just supposed to be a quick trip to the pet store for some cat food, but the universe had other plans for Florence Valentine. Good for nothing kids and some annoying store employees were giving her a hard time, and then things got worse when she was killed by a delivery truck. Instead of angels, pearly gates, and eternal rewards, a voice in her head keeps telling her that she’s become a dungeon core, whatever that is.

In a renovated Gothic church on Long Island lives Jonathan Hemlock, an art professor and a world-renowned mountain climber who finances his black-market art collection by working as a freelance assassin. Now, Hemlock is being tricked into a hazardous assignment that involves an attempt to scale one of the most treacherous mountain peaks in the Swiss Alps: the Eiger. His target is one of his three fellow climbers. The problem is that the CII can't tell him which one.

Her mission to the past is in shambles. Her future’s in deadly peril. Can this resourceful spitfire stop the present from going sideways? Wilda Firestone suffers no fools. And the seasoned retiree refuses to be tempted by the thrill of time-traveling shenanigans and instead buckles down to train her clueless new protégé. But when a bomb reduces the time machine next door to ashes and reduces her life’s work to rubble, the angry woman takes on a dangerous investigation… Ignoring her own battle scars from past time-hopping adventures, Wilda convinces her trainee to jump to 1850s ...

Tricked into a world of banished gods, demons, goblins, sprites and magic, Richter must learn to meet the perils of The Land and begin to forge his own kingdom. Actions have consequences across The Land, with powerful creatures and factions now hell-bent on Richter's destruction. Can Richter forge allegiances to survive this harsh and unforgiving world or will he fall to the dark denizens of this ancient and unforgiving realm? A tale to shake "The Land" itself, measuring 10/10 on the Richter scale, how will Richter's choices shape the future of The Land and all who reside in it?

Every weekend, in basements and car parks across the country, young men with good white-collar jobs and absent fathers take off their shoes and shirts and fight each other barehanded. Then they go back to those jobs with blackened eyes and loosened teeth and the sense that they can handle anything.

After the death of his fiancee due to medical errors, hospital pharmacist Daniel O'Dwyer escapes to Oak Island, North Carolina. The only things on his mind are fresh sea air, fresh seafood, Fat Tire Amber Ale, and the avoidance of any type of healthcare institution. But fate and jellyfish draw him back, and reluctantly, he agrees to go undercover to combat narcotic drug diversion at nearby Boiling Grove Community Hospital.

Introducing Sissy Hankshaw—an almost flawlessly beautiful small-town girl with big-time dreams—who hitchhikes her way into your heart, your hopes, and your sleeping bag. Along her travels, meet such unforgettable characters as Bonanza Jellybean and the smooth-riding cowgirls of Rubber Rose Ranch; the unfortunately named Chink, a lascivious guru of yams and yang; Julian, an asthmatic esthete and husband by disposition; and Dr. Robbins, a preventive psychiatrist and reality instructor.

When a bizarre string of unusual corpses washes up on the beaches of San Diego during Halloween week, Detective Lindsey Brant requires more than her usual set of skills to solve the mystery. Joining forces with horror writer James Archer, the two will have to survive a scourge of undead, international killers, unscrupulous reporters, and rogue spies if they're to unravel the long-buried mystery of a deadly virus that could bring humanity to its knees. But their greatest threat to the case may just be surviving each other. See if the two will succeed in saving the world in this irreverent ...

“Deliciously vicious and unsettlingly hilarious, Cruelty Free is a nasty, thrilling Hollywood take-down for the ages.” —JENNIFER THORNE, author of Diavola A disgraced movie star returns to Hollywood 10 years after the kidnapping of her young daughter intent on seeking revenge, for fans of...

'Truly extraordinary books are rare, and this is one of them' – Roddy Doyle 'His [Dominic Hofman] performance is terrific: variously wry, poignant and thoughtful as he imbues Jim with the humanity and agency denied to him by Twain' – The Guardian, Audiobook of the Week James is a profound...

**About This Book** Welcome to "The Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Finding Winning Slot Machines" – your one-way ticket to understanding the mystical and often wallet-emptying world of slot machines! This book is not your average gambling guide. In fact, it’s less of a guide and more of a hilarious journey through the ups, downs, and sideways spins of slot machine gambling. Are you tired of self-help books that make you feel worse about yourself? Bored of strategy guides that make quantum physics seem simple by comparison? Do you love the sound of coins clinking but hate the sight of ...

She’s got perfect posture, a nasty temper, and centuries of know-how. Will trying to fix the fourth dimension leave her trapped in a harsh new reality? Ireland, 1100’s. Wilda Firestone doesn’t put up with incompetence. Awaiting extraction back to her regularly scheduled life in modern Toronto, the feisty sixty-year-old spends the days hanging out with druids and learning local lore. But when she and her two companions finally make contact with her boss, she realizes that thwarting the terrorists who are corrupting history has left their portal home out of order. Tasked with sabotaging...

With millions of copies of his New York Times best-selling No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency mysteries in print across the globe, Alexander McCall Smith is one of the most popular novelists and humorists in the world. Starring the brilliant but bumbling Professor Doctor Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld, The Finer Points of Sausage Dogs is a wonderfully entertaining showcase for Smith's award-winning wit.

BUYER BEWARE! Do NOT purchse this book if you are looking for any of the following: -A plot -Interesting dialogue -Romance -Action and/or adventure -Zombies -Insight into the human condition -An underlying message -Complex characters -Comedy -Symbolism -Gunplay -A point BELIEVE THE 1-STAR REVIEWS: THIS IS THE MOST BORING BOOK EVER WRITTEN.

An Englishman's continuing search through space and time for a decent cup of tea . . . Arthur Dent's accidental association with that wholly remarkable book, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, has not been entirely without incident. Arthur has traveled the length, breadth, and depth of known...

Pulitzer Prize–winning and New York Times bestselling author—and actual Florida Man—Dave Barry returns with a “hilariously funny” (Steve Martin) caper full of oddballs and more twists and turns than a snake slithering away from a gator. Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in...

After establishing the Society of Assured Prosperity and successfully disguising his insurance business as a charity, Willem heads to the capital of the kingdom to expand into a new market....

"Guns, Guts, & Glory Days" Who says you can’t save the world on a budget? Meet Team Vortex, the last superhero team that Los Angeles didn’t exactly ask for—but might still need. Once revered and now mostly ignored, these heroes have swapped fame and fortune for a cramped apartment, day jobs, and just enough hope to keep fighting. Leading the charge is America Man, a red-white-and-blue powerhouse with twin Desert Eagles and a love for corny one-liners. His on-again, off-again girlfriend America Girl handles all things tech from her model-day-job to the team’s in-ear comms, keeping ...

Nine months ago, Zeus' murder catapulted the Greek gods back into public life. Now, the whole pantheon revels in new temples, casinos, and media empires - except Apollo. An overachiever with a bursting portfolio of godly duties, the amount of email alone he receives from rapacious mortals turns each day into a living hell. Yet there may be hope, if only he can return Zeus to life! With the aid of Thalia, the muse of comedy and science fiction, Apollo will risk his very godhood to help TV producer Tracy Wallace and a gamer geek named Leif, who hold the key to Zeus' resurrection.

When the aliens came down and told us they’d enslave all of the human race if we didn’t send our bigliest warrior to participate in their arena death games, I laughed at them. It was really funny because they obviously didn’t know who they were dealing with. Know what I mean? Then they said they would pick the greatest warrior, and they picked Marc Havak. He seemed like such an average guy, but he was a true-blue American. He even worked as a truck driver! That’s the kind of good guy we want defending us from aliens.