Humor Boat

Martyrs to hypochondria and general seediness, J. and his friends George and Harris decide that a jaunt up the Thames would suit them just fine. But when they set off, they can hardly predict the troubles that lie ahead with tow-ropes, unreliable weather forecasts, and tins of pineapple chunks---not to mention the devastation left in the wake of J.'s small fox-terrier Montmorency.

In the dark waiting room of the ferry terminal in the sketchy Spanish port of Algeciras, two aging Irishmen - Maurice Hearne and Charlie Redmond, longtime partners in the lucrative and dangerous enterprise of smuggling drugs - sit at night, none too patiently. It is October 23, 2018, and they are expecting Maurice's estranged daughter, Dilly, to either arrive on a boat coming from Tangier or depart on one heading there. This nocturnal vigil will initiate an extraordinary journey back in time to excavate their shared history of violence, romance, mutual betrayals, and serial exiles.

After his final trip up the river Thames with his three companions - - Harris, George, and Montmorency the dog - - Jerome K. Jerome sat down to write his proposed book, The Story of the Thames. But before he could tackle the work in the serious manner intended, his humor took over and gave birth to a masterpiece of unquenchable comedy. This is a classic of English humor, justifiably loved around the world.

The author of this unfortunate tale should have known the dangers of the sea, but armed with a little knowledge and a bit too much faith in his own ability, he decided to jump into a boat and sail away. This is the very true story (I’m sad to say) of sailing the yacht called 'Solo' alone. Never having owned a boat before and after only a few weeks trying to learn the intricacies of sailing a small eighteen-foot six-inch craft. The sailor of Solo finds himself two miles out to sea and quietly wondering: what the hell was he doing there?... The plan was a quick dash around the Kent coast to...

Jamie O'Neill loves the color red. He also loves tall trees, patterns, rain that comes with wind, the curvature of certain objects, books with dust jackets, rivers, cats, and Edgar Allan Poe. At age thirteen, there are two things he wants most in life: to build a Perpetual Motion Machine, and to connect with his mother, Noelle, who died when he was born. In his mind, these things are intimately linked, and at his new school, despite the daily barrage of bullies and cathedral bells, he meets two teachers who might be able to help him, though each struggles against inertias of their own.

What would you do if your ex got abducted? Remember, they're an ex for a reason. So let's assume you hate them from the depths of your soul. Line up the tequila shots, right? Not your problem? Now stay with me for a second. What if you were the only person who could save their life? Then would you save them? We are talking about another human being's life, after all. Now, imagine you have seven million dollars in your bank account. Sweet, right? It's seven million dollars or your ex's life. This is a judgment-free zone. Be honest. You'd keep the seven million dollars. Am I right? Yeah, me too.

Wilhemina 'Billie' Bennett, red-haired daughter of an American millionaire, loves golf, dogs, and Tennyson ¿ and is to marry Eustace Hignett, the weak, poetry-writing son of a famous English writer on theosophy. Enter San Marlowe, Eustace's tournament golfing cousin, and Jane Hubbard, Billie's big-game-hunting friend, and another romp in the inimitable Wodehouse style unfolds.

In The Circus Ship, a very special craft is carrying all manner of circus animals. But when it nearly sinks, out spill all the animals. Luckily, they make it to a nearby island. And there they happily settle in - until the mean old circus owner tries to round them up.

What will you see on Baby Dinosaur Island? This book is for preschool and early readers ages 3 to 6.

In 1889, satirist Jerome K. Jerome fully intended to write a serious travel guide when he and his two best friends embarked on a boating trip up the river Thames to Oxford. But his musings on landmarks and local history were soon hijacked by his own digressive, waggish voice. And so, what began as a peaceful and edifying two-week exploration soon floated upriver into farce - aided, quite naturally, by a portly ration of cheese, some very bad weather, and a dog named Montmorency.

Adrian Martin and his family set out to sail the Great Loop, one of America's best kept boating secrets. But aside from the journey and the scenery, this book is about what it is like to live on a boat twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week in all weather and in all conditions. More than anything, Adrian wants to relate with honesty and humor what this lifestyle is like for all the many people who have dreamed about living aboard and experiencing the cruising life. And to add to the authenticity, Adrian gets seasick riding in the back seat of an automobile, or at the carnival, or when ...

Whose Boat Is This Boat? Comments That Don’t Help in the Aftermath of a Hurricane is made entirely of quotations from President Donald Trump in the wake of Hurricane Florence. It is the first children's book that demonstrates what not to say after a natural disaster. On September 19, 2018, Donald Trump paid a visit to New Bern, North Carolina, one of the towns ravaged by Hurricane Florence. It was there he showed deep concern for a boat that washed ashore. "At least you got a nice boat out of the deal," said President Trump to hurricane victims.

She never thought she'd fall for a younger man, but with Cee, it was so easy... There aren't enough hours in the day, and struggling single mom Jes just can't make it alone. Fortunately, a fantastic nanny just became available. Stacey is the perfect candidate: Young, college educated, glowing references... Trouble is, the nanny is a manny! The last thing Jes expects is a tall, muscular, handsome stranger on her porch looking for work as a nanny. The last thing Jess wants is a new man complicating her life. But Jes needs the help and there's no one better for the job than Stacey "Cee" Cook. ...

The Lifeboat is the third novel in the Skidian Chronicles series. In The Lifeboat an asteroid is on a collision course with earth. It soon transpires the asteroid has been sent on its way by the Skidian first people who have uploaded themselves to a celestial version of the cloud and now define themselves as Transcendents. The Transcendents have a plan for humanity which doesn't include an asteroid strike killing us all off. The plot contains plenty of parallels with current world politics, including the introduction of a character based on a certain ginger haired world leader. The Lifeboat...

Critically acclaimed children’s author Jonah Winter reimagines a true story from 1987. The small Long Island town of Islip has a big problem - 3,168 tons of garbage and no place to put it! So workers pile the smelly refuse on a large barge, hire a tug boat, and send the stuff south to find a final resting place. But as the barge travels from North Carolina to New Orleans and from Mexico to Belize - nobody wants Islip’s rotting mountain of garbage.

This funny picture book is all about cartoon animals getting into trouble. Where are they going? What are they doing? Only you can guess. Each picture is a stand-alone funny scene with simple sentences mixed with silly humor. This book is for early readers through second grade.

"The Girl on the Boat" (1922) is a novel by P. G. Wodehouse. The girl from the title is the red-haired, dog-loving Wilhelmina "Billie" Bennett, and the three men are: Bream Mortimer, a long-time and long-suffering suitor of Billie; Eustace Hignett, a shy poet who is cowed by his domineering mother but secretly engaged to Billie at the opening of the tale; Sam Marlowe, Eustace's dashing cousin, who falls in love with Billie "at first sight".

A laugh-out-loud pirate adventure, perfect for listening to at home, in the car, at bedtime - or any time at all! The Troll longs for a juicy goat to eat - but he's stuck with boring old fish for supper. Bother! Meanwhile, Hank Chief and his pirate crew love fish, but without a decent recipe their slimy, soggy dinner is even worse. If only they could find their buried treasure and pay for a ship's cook, but it seems they've sailed to the wrong island. Again.

A witty account of three friends' boating adventure along the River Thames. Written in the 19th century, the humour is still accessible to a modern audience. Read by leading celebrated British Actor, Sir Timothy Ackroyd.

Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog), published in 1889, is a humorous account by English writer Jerome K. Jerome of a two-week boating holiday on the Thames from Kingston upon Thames to Oxford and back to Kingston. The book was initially intended to be a serious travel guide, with accounts of local history along the route, but the humorous elements took over to the point where the serious and somewhat sentimental passages seem a distraction to the comic novel.