Funny Southern

In the South, we believe in being polite, even if it kills us. So, when we just can't fight the urge to say something nasty, we follow it up with a "bless her heart" just to make us feel better. "Look at that poor woman trying to jog around that track. Her rear-end is dragging a trail, bless her heart." Youngblood and Poole talk about the ins and outs of nosy neighbors, sibling rivalry, and why every Southerner worth her salt feels the need to offer advice.

Mae West, a far cry from the Hollywood actress, has been thrown for a loop. Her plush lifestyle in the big city of New York comes to a screeching halt after the FBI raids her mansion and arrests her husband, Paul West, for a Ponzi scheme that rips people out of millions of dollars. Mae finds herself homeless, friendless, and penniless. All hope isn't lost... the only thing Mae got to keep that the government didn't seize is a tourist camp ground, Happy Trails, in Normal, Kentucky.

Sinister secrets hidden by the tranquil waters of an Ozarks lake. Can married amateur sleuths bait and capture a killer before the truth slips away? Kirkus Reviews—“A fine whodunit featuring a delightful cast whom readers will love—or love to hate.” After newlyweds Elizabeth and Jonas Trout arrive to settle her grandmother's estate, they quickly find themselves embroiled in a treacherous mystery when Elizabeth is implicated in the murder of the property manager. With mounting evidence and the Southern small-town sheriff convinced of her guilt, Elizabeth and Jonas must fish for clues...

*More than 100 5 star ratings on Goodreads!* “I love the characters, the setting, and the plot development. The warmth of the friendships is so strong and enjoyable. Once I started reading I didn’t want to stop.” A small town with big secrets. A caterer turned amateur detective. A wedding weekend plagued by murder and mystery. Home is where the heart is for Abby Hirsch, a chef returning to her small Texas hometown to cater a wedding at her aunt's charming bed and breakfast. But homecoming turns deadly when Abby finds the body of the bride's rival dumped on the grounds. With the ...

When Miss Julia burst on the scene in her debut, Miss Julia Speaks Her Mind, this proper lady of a certain age found her orderly world turned upside down when Hazel Marie Puckett appeared with her nine-year-old son, Little Lloyd, who looked disturbingly similar to Miss Julia's late husband. Now, in Miss Julia Takes Over, with her sharp tongue and iron backbone intact, Miss Julia must tackle another disruption when Hazel Marie doesn't return from a dinner date. Miss Julia hires J. D. Pickens to investigate, despite her reservations about his taste for beer and women.

Sometimes the thumbs slip… She’s finally joined the dating app everyone in Cider Cove is raving about…when she accidentally sends a message about wanting to meet up for a first date to her enemy. Hillary: I’ve been engaged twice now without becoming a bride, and let’s just say those failures have made me more career-focused than ever. But I just hit the big 3-0 last year, and I’m feeling…lonely, despite the five best friends I share an enormous house with. I’ve drawn the short stick this time, and I’m dealing with the general contractor about fixing our perpetually leaking...

A charming small town. A peach festival gone awry. A culinary entrepreneur caught in a juicy mystery. Abby Hirsch has traded in her hectic life in L.A. for a shot at her dream—a catering business in her idyllic hometown of Sugar Creek, Texas. She's ready to start over until her plans hit a sour note at the annual Sugar Creek Peach Festival. When a city councilman dies from poisoning, Abby finds herself in the pits as a potential suspect. Not only is her fledgling business at stake, but the councilman had recently rejected her business license on a technicality, leaving her ripe for ...

If you’re a thirty-year-old, Southern male from a Christian family and have never brought a girl home to meet Momma, then you must secretly be up to no good. And if you also happen to be an only son with five older, happily married sisters, the pressure to find the one and only love of your life is like digging through a pile of leaves for the pin to the grenade you’re holding. Those were the first two lines of the first video post of Mark Griffin’s to go viral, and his popularity has steadily risen over the two years since. He decides to use his platform to find someone to share ...

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Great series of books! Martha and Helen are new friends who now work together in a business concerning old books and manuscripts. Each book has two stories going on, but both end up related. This series has so many different kinds of characters, locations, and conclusions. It is very creative set of stories! I'm sure that you will enjoy all five books. Happy Reading!!!" -- Margaret L. A DELIGHTFUL COZY MYSTERY FULL OF QUAINT VILLAGES, QUIRKY CHARACTERS, AND MADCAP ADVENTURES BY A BESTSELLING AUTHOR. Helen Ryes and Martha Littleword, two Americans living in England, become...

A picturesque Texas vineyard. A tech company retreat turned deadly. A caterer caught in a bubbling pot of mystery. Abby Hirsch has established herself as the go-to caterer in her beloved hometown of Sugar Creek, Texas. But her skills are put to the test when a high-profile tech company from California chooses her aunt's charming bed and breakfast for their corporate retreat. Abby’s ready to showcase her culinary talents, until the event turns sour with the mysterious death of the company's CEO, Barry Golding. As the CEO's past misdeeds come to light and tensions within the tech group rise...

She’s settling into a new life. But when a fishing trip totally capsizes, can she get a friend off the hook for murder? Elizabeth Trout still feels awkward living back home. Discovering a BFF from her raucous high-school days has become the perfect mom is as weird as staying with her mother while awaiting construction of her new home. But she’s shaken to her core when her newlywed husband and beloved dog are nearly blown out of the water in a dockside explosion which leaves another woman dead … and her bestie is arrested for the crime. To clear her friend, Elizabeth and her spouse set...

Southern matriarch Lillian Summer Fairview is settling right nice into prison, until Big Martha, the toughest broad on the cellblock, comes asking for a favor. Her niece has fallen for a guy she met online, and Martha’s convinced Mr. Too-Good-To-Be-True is up to no good. All Lil’s friends have to do is investigate the guy and report back. Will these amateur sleuths be able to track down the elusive Romeo in the scam-filled world of online dating without alerting the local police to their shenanigans, or will they find themselves in trouble right up to their granny panties?

SWITCH BACK is a novella (about 1/3 of a full-length novel, about 4-5 times longer than a short story) and takes place prior to BOARD STIFF (Elliott Lisbon Mystery #1). After inheriting an entire town, Ballantyne Foundation Director, Elliott Lisbon, travels to Texas to thank them. She quickly learns they don’t want her gratitude, they want their town back. And they’re willing to kill for it. Trapped in a small town full of big suspects, Elliott must unlock their secrets, or she’ll never get out alive. Now doesn’t that sound like fun? Read the whole series and gets even better. - - -...

Kate and her best friend Marlene are attending the Palmetto Beach Flea Market in hopes of selling Marlene’s collection of 1950s memorabilia. Fortunately, a table has become available in the busy corridor just outside the circus tent. Unfortunately, the vacant table’s previous occupant died from electrocution when a television set took a dive into his bathtub. The police suspect foul play. And Kate suspects nearly every seller who had a table near the victim—and a motive to put him out of business. - - - - - - - - - - - - - DEATH IS A BARGAIN by Noreen Wald A Henery Press Mystery. If ...

The next in the hot, new series featuring Max Holt and Jamie Swift, filled with even more fast-paced action, crazy characters, steamy sex, suspense, and nonstop hilarity. This time Beaumont, South Carolina, is going to hell in a handbasket. It all starts when Jamie decides to increase revenues for her newspaper by starting a personal ads section. Suddenly, the town gets "all sexed up." A trashy lingerie shop opens. The bakery starts making pornographic pastries. Everyone gets the idea that sex sells.

The largest collection of Southern proverbs, threats and insults - translated. Each saying is categorized and annotated with alternative sayings, explanations, facts, or similar quotes from famous people. Warning: this book could be fatal to unconverted Yankees.

It’s another murder in the little town of Roble. But not to worry, Romaine and Auntie Zanne are on it! It’s the 100th Boule of the Distinguished Ladies’ Society of Voodoo Herbalists. They’ve gotten together to eat, drink, be merry and vote for the next Lesser Mambo, a lifetime appointment second only to the Most High (bet you’ll never guess who holds that position). But the second in command spot keeps becoming vacant—that’s because the women who fill it keep dying off. This time though, it looks like murder. During an alcohol-infused dinner and a tall glass full of absinth, a...

A wedding and a murder...Star football player and NFL hopeful, Michael “Bumper” Hackett is getting married. Word’s going around that it’s a shotgun wedding, and there just might be some truth to it, seeing that the bride-to-be is showing a baby bump. But before the ceremony can even get started, the poor groom collapses from what appears to be an asthma attack. Unfortunately, things aren’t always what they seem. Romaine knew it was a bad idea to have a wedding at the funeral home, but newly elected justice of the peace and sole proprietor of the Ball Funeral Home & Crematorium, ...

Romaine Wilder, big-city medical examiner with a small-town past, has been downsized and evicted. With few other options, she’s forced to return to her hometown of Roble in East Texas, leaving behind the man she’s dating and the life she’s worked hard to build. Suzanne Babet Derbinay, Romaine’s Auntie Zanne and proprietor of the Ball Funeral Home, has long since traded her French Creole upbringing for Big Texas attitude. She’s a member in a number of ladies’ auxiliaries and clubs, including being in charge of the Tri-County Annual Crawfish Boil and Music Festival. Hanging on to ...

He forecasts the weather on TV to the delight of his many fans. But the residents of Ocean Vista Condominiums are less fond of Uncle Weatherwise—the newest arrival at the condo—especially when a hurricane that he predicted would bypass Palmetto Beach instead heads straight for their town. The morning after a frantic evacuation, Kate Kennedy is blown away when she stumbles upon the corpse of Uncle Weatherwise, with a sharpened weather vane pointed in the direction of his heart. Suddenly Kate’s neighbors are her suspects, from a retired Rockette to a former federal prosecutor to a man ...