English Humor

Death by Chocolate is her favorite dessert. And those knitting needles aren't just for craft projects. To most people, Gin Bombay is an ordinary single mom. Then again, they don't know she's from a family of top-secret assassins. Somewhere between leading a Girl Scout troop for her kindergartner - would nooses count for a knot badge? - and keeping their puppy from destroying the furniture, Gin now has to take out a new target.

When Milan Patel visits his parents at their family-run motel in Montana, he's expecting the usual drama. But shortly after he arrives, his father mysteriously dies in the motel pool. Now everyone's a suspect. What was meant to be a quick trip becomes Milan's worst nightmare, as he races to solve his father's murder while confronting the past he tried to leave behind.

In this entry from Anthony Award winner Charlaine Harris' New York Times best-selling series, the gorgeous and feisty telepath hits the road to find her missing boyfriend, who may have run off with his former lover - a notorious vamp.

Most days, Anwen regrets working at a funeral home. With the residents no longer inclined to stay in their coffins where they belong, she's got her hands full making sure everyone follows the rules.

Gifted with meta-human powers, Tori Rivas kept away from the limelight, preferring to work as a thief in the shadows. But when she's captured trying to rob a vault that belongs to a secret guild of villains, she's offered a hard choice: prove she has what it takes to join them or be eliminated. Apprenticed to one of the world's most powerful (and supposedly dead) villains, she is thrust into a strange world where the lines that divide superheroes and criminals are more complex than they seem.

The ninth floor. Nine armies, each led by rich and powerful aliens from across the galaxy. Each team has one objective: to capture and hold the castle at the very center of the battlefield. Strategy, alliances, pitched battles, and, of course, betrayal ... It all makes for great fun and even greater television. After all, none of these powerful aliens really die when they’re playing war. Except this time. This time, winner takes all. Those who fall, stay in the ground.

My name is Rick Sweet, and I’m a professional disaster. I’m a divorced soda salesman living in a former Detroit crack den, spending my nights cleaning to keep the depression at bay and my days being bullied by my boss. I was just a guy trying to survive the Motor City and be a hero to my daughter—until I took a shortcut through the wrong alley and said "YES" to a voice in the dark.

On a typical day, on an average train platform, two warring sister goddesses found their avatars. One avatar, the young Yoshi, was swept away to the world of Ephemera to be a great hero of honor, courage, and light. The other, the not-so-young Seiji, was swept away to become a dark lord out to kill or conquer all in his path. But Seiji is in absolutely no mood for that nonsense. It's bad enough that on Earth he was a closed-off, misanthropic grouch with zero patience for other people. Now he's supposed to muster enough of a give-a-damn to lead vile hordes?

Elizabeth Bennet is a lady of decided opinions—especially about a certain Mr Darcy. When Colonel Fitzwilliam reveals that gentleman as the cause of her sister’s romantic woes, Elizabeth does not become angry or distraught. Instead, the news offers some relief, because it allows her to finally understand everything that happened in Hertfordshire the previous autumn. With this new knowledge, she acts to remove herself from the disagreeable company at Rosings.

She's unlike any one or any thing else: a Non-Standard Leashed-Intelligence Cybernetic Enforcer aka NSLICE-00P. The first of her kind, she's let loose into a universe of superheroes on behalf of her sinister masters to destroy all who oppose them. And everything's going according to plan—until NSLICE-00P gets hacked and sent into the past to kill her own creator before he creates her. Obeying orders as always, she wastes the poor guy. Unfortunately, there are consequences to initiating a reality-breaking time paradox. The most significant: total ejection from that reality.

Kane is a six-foot-seven French Canadian. But, a year ago, he was a wolf. He'd been in the woods when a crazed, infected man attacked him. The next day, he transformed into a human. Now, Kane is searching for the Biting Man to get the answers he needs to become a wolf again and return to his pack. The only one who knows Kane's secret is a troubled young woman named Emelda. She needed out of a terrible situation; Kane needed someone who could drive. Wolves who become humans are terrible drivers. He also has a problem with moonlight.

When Paige Turner inherits her mother Reed’s knack for attracting magical disasters, she also inherits her mother’s unfinished business—protecting a library of dangerous magical artifacts and keeping the world safe from things better left shelved.

Jin Rou wanted to be a cultivator. A man powerful enough to defy the heavens. A master of martial arts. A lord of spiritual power. Unfortunately for him, he died, and now I’m stuck in his body. Arrogant Masters? Heavenly Tribulations? All that violence and bloodshed? Yeah, no thanks. I’m getting out of here. Farm life sounds pretty great. Tilling a field by hand is fun when you’ve got the strength of ten men—though maybe I shouldn’t have fed those Spirit Herbs to my pet rooster.

The first novel in a charming new series, award-winning author Jane Myers Perrine's The Welcome Committee of Butternut Creek is an amusing, warmhearted look at a small town's reception of its newly ordained minister. The mission of committee members Miss Birdie and Mercedes is to educate Adam Jordan on how things should be done in town. But soon the ladies decide on a new goal - to find him a wife.

After 50 years of bumbling around on the planet, Val Fremden’s got nothing to show for her life but a long string of dead-end jobs and a two-digit bank balance. But just as she’s about to toss her champagne dreams and caviar wishes into the dumpster, Val discovers that Marco Shamway—the jerk who plagued her all through high school—is now a millionaire. Worse yet, the idea that catapulted Marco to fame and fortune was one he’d stolen … from her!

Fifteen cozy spicy romances. Three complete shifter series in one sizzling bundle! Series included in this collection: Brides for Beasts: Bears Brides for Beasts: Wolves Brides for Beasts: Dragons Unlikely Mate: A Fated Mates Romance When a gruff bear shifter alpha collides with a cynical human recruiter for an arranged-marriage program, sparks fly in a fated-mates romance fueled by possessive instincts, small-town magic, and scorching chemistry. Off-Limits Mate: A Forbidden Romance When a curvy, pregnant bride meets a dominant bear-shifter enforcer, he knows she’s his fated mate but his ...

Doreen Diller wants to be a movie star. But after 15 years of failed auditions, she’s yet to garner a single callback from a Hollywood producer. Determined to hit the big time before she turns 40, she pins her hopes on a job assisting soap opera heartthrob Tad Longmire. He could be the answer to her dreams—or the beginning of her nightmares. While filming a new TV series starring Tad, a stabbing death rocks the set. Unfortunately for Doreen, the role of murder suspect is finally one she appears ideally suited to play.

Maplewood Museum’s most despised security guard drops dead after dessert. When the coffee froth and glitter settles, the only thing missing is the museum’s prized artifact…and everyone’s alibi. Hattie Calder planned to spend the evening serving coffee, not stumbling into chaos. But when whispers of theft, blackmail, and betrayal echo through the gala hall, the barista with a talent for noticing what others miss becomes the prime candidate to untangle the truth. Armed with her quick wit, her friend Liam’s tech savvy, and her cat Beans’ uncanny knack for being in the wrong place ...

"This series is my favorite new addiction! I want the Miss Fortune to escape to Maui, too!" ~ Reader My name is Kat Smith, and my new life as postmaster of the tiny town of Ohia on Maui was beginning to settle down. No new dead bodies had turned up for months! And then, the UPS guy spotted a little girl in the window of a house where no child was known to live. My former Secret Service training kicked in. I had to investigate, no matter what Mr. K, my boyfriend, attack cat Tiki, or Aunt Fae said about how far I'd go to find out what happened… to a child who might not even be real. "Pau ...

It’s officially booty o’clock, I’m alone again in my kitchen choking down a slice of terrible chocolate cake…and I’m pretty sure I just got drunk texted by the man I have a ginormous crush on. I’ve been daydreaming about Eliot Hoffman’s dimples for two months, and even though I’m sure this was a mistake on his end, it doesn’t mean it’s not an opportunity on mine. It’s the middle of the night, and I just wanna talk to him. So I text him back.