Showing results by narrator "Jared Goldsmith"

Disaster reigns when A.J. participates in the school's holiday pageant celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.

Something weird is going on! A.J. and his friends are afraid that Ms. Todd, their substitute teacher, has killed their regular teacher and is trying to take over her job. They’re going to have to do the detective work to get the goods on her. But it won’t be easy! Ms. Todd is the weirdest substitute teacher in the history of the world!

The New York Times best selling cartoonist behind the nationally acclaimed comic strip Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis has won raves for Timmy Failure, the hilarious first book in a new series for young listeners. With the help of a polar bear named Total, Timmy Failure hopes to strike it rich by running the best detective agency around. The only problem is that our supremely confident hero is often more bumbling than brainy.

A.J. thinks that nothing can possibly be as boring as a sleepover in the natural history museum. However, anything can happen when Ms. Krup is in charge. She says the dinosaur skeletons come to life in the middle of the night. Is she right?

Prolific and popular author Dan Gutman launches a fun new series with this tale about second-grader A.J. and the unusual school he attends. On the first day of class, A.J. tells Miss Daisy he loves football and video games but hates school. Then Miss Daisy tells him she hates school, too, and the students think their teacher just might be an impostor.

Miss Small, the gym teacher, is teaching A.J., Andrea, and the gang to juggle scarves, balance feathers, and do the Chicken Dance! Is this any way to stay in shape? Whatever happened to good old dodgeball? In fact, all the grown-ups at A.J.'s school seem to have something wrong with them. What's going on here? What are A.J. and the kids in his class going to do? They've got to convince Miss Small to act her age before the end of the year! Never before has school been this mixed up -- or this much fun.

With over one million copies of his books in print, New York Times best-selling author Dan Gutman is a hit with young readers thanks to his energetic stories tinged with uproarious humor. Mrs. Kormel Is Not Normal! introduces Ella Mentry Elementary School's zany bus driver. Mrs. Kormel has been driving everyone crazy lately, and it's up to AJ and his buddies to figure out why.

The winner of numerous awards for children’s fiction, Dan Gutman presents the third tale from his delightfully silly My Weird School series. Second-grader A.J. thinks Mrs. Roopy, the librarian, might be the strangest teacher at his school. The students believe she keeps appearing fully dressed as characters from books, like Johnny Appleseed and Little Miss Muffet. But every time a new character surfaces, Mrs. Roopy insists she was home sick that day!

Kid favorite Dan Gutman returns with another installment of the beloved My Weird School series. At Ella Mentry school, the grown-ups are all a little weird in their own unique ways. The sixth installment introduces Mr. Hynde, the substitute music teacher, who thinks he's a rock-and-roll star - and he even shows up on TV!

Popular author Dan Gutman has won countless fans with a trademark brand of humor that young readers find irresistible. In this second entry from the My Weird School series, second-grader A.J. gets sent to the office for not doing his homework. But things take an unexpected turn when Mr. Klutz, the skateboarding principal, gives A.J. a candy bar for encouragement.

Though I, Timmy Failure, have solved many notorious crimes and now wish to enjoy my retirement, my fans have begged me to turn my memoirs into a movie, an ode to my greatness. I am, however, beset by enemies, the worst of whom is Tom John John, the buffoonish movie director. What’s more, my father is in town, working at a bar, which is obviously just a cover for our father-son crime-fighting partnership. And my dimwitted polar bear business partner, Total, wants to be reunited with his family.  

What could be weirder than a mad science teacher who invents a car that runs on potatoes and wants to take over the world? How about a bus driver who can't even "find" the weirdest school on the planet?

A.J. and the other students at Ella Mentry School brave trick-or-treating at the school secretary's house, even though it is supposedly haunted. Mrs. Patty, the secretary, gives out the best Halloween candy in the history of the world! But her house is haunted! People say she's a witch and her husband is a ghost. Is it worth A.J.'s risking his life for the best candy ever?

Forget Thanksgiving. The biggest turkey of all is running around Ella Mentry School - Dr. Carbles, the president of the school board. He is grumpier than ever and wants to fire Mr. Klutz. Will A.J. and his friends be able to save their principals job?

It's Poetry Month and Ms. Coco, who runs the gifted and talented program, is poetry crazy! She cries when she sees a sunset! She thinks boys should have feelings! She talks in rhyme! All the time! Will A.J.'s life ever be normal again?

Award-winning author Dan Gutman delivers the fourth amusing tale from his popular My Weird School series. Even for an art teacher, Ms. Hannah is pretty strange. She wears dresses made out of potholders and collects garbage instead of throwing it out—so her students can use it in their artwork. And now, she’s making A.J. be partners with smelly Andrea. This is going to be the worst art class ever!

This book was never meant to exist. No one needs to know the details. Just know this: there's a Merry, a Larry, a missing tooth, and a teachers' strike that is crippling Timmy Failure's academic future. Worst of all, Timmy is banned from detective work. It's a conspiracy of buffoons. He recorded everything in his private notebook, but then the manuscript was stolen. If this book gets out, he will be grounded for life. Or maybe longer. And will Timmy's mom really marry Doorman Dave.

Something weird is going on! Miss Suki is a famous children's book author - and she's coming to A.J.'s school! She lives in the rainforest and writes about endangered animals. But when her pet raptor gets loose in the classroom, it's the kids who are going to be endangered! Yikes!

New York Times best-selling author Stephan Pastis is the creator of the award-winning comic strip Pearls Before Swine. Now Look What You' ve Done finds comically clueless kid detective Timmy Failure on the cusp of cracking the biggest case of his generation. The school globe' s been stolen and a $500 reward is up for grabs. But before claiming the prize, Timmy and his polar-bear sidekick Total will have to trip up a rascal trying to scam the system.

Miss Lazar, the janitor, likes to dance around the school with a mop. She has a secret room in the basement where she keeps the bad kids, and she's the weirdest custodian in the world.