Showing results by author "Simon Carr" in All Categories

Saint Frank has had a time of it, things have not gone smoothly for him so far, but now he has an ally in his fight against the rogue saint Dark Charlie, One-Eyed Cy, lord of the sea. A war is coming, and it's Saint Frank and One-Eyed Cy who are bringing that war to Dark Charlie; however, Dark Charlie has a new ally of his own, Poseidon, One-Eyed Cy's nemesis, whom Frank accidentally resurrected from the dead. With a cast of thousands! Maybe it's twenty, but it's a lot! This epic ball of epicness couldn't be more epic if it killed the dinosaurs, that is just how epically big it is, huge!

At this extraordinary national moment, with the country in lockdown, Audible teams up with some of our country's biggest stars, as they invite you in to their own homes for some uplifting chat.

This is the legend of Saint Frank, and the great deeds he what did to earn that Sainthood, not born a Saint, in the beginning he was just, Frank, but not long after some stuff that took long, he became Sir. Frank. Sir. Frank may or may not have slayed a Dragon, if he did then this is the Tale of how Sir. Frank became Saint Frank, and if he did not then this is the story of nearly a Saint Frank and a triumphant Dragon.

The locals of The Bull’s Head meet an odd salesman after hours. The future of the entire planet hangs in the balance. Everything depends on them and their ever-dwindling grasp on sobriety.

Cy has had his monster license taken away, and he has been reclassified as a Pirate, on account of him just being a normal guy with just one eye. The Pirates life is not for Cy so when an opportunity to get his license reinstated presents itself, Cy embarks on a quest, of some kind, with some people of some description, to get something or other.

Well, that was sudden! Shamus turns on the television to discover that the planet has been invaded. Drew, Sabastian, and Mary, along with Shamus and an alien visitor, Teak, are all that survived the swift apocalypse.

Things have escalated! You would think that after you had saved the world that you could be confident that your hardships and adventure type shenanigans would be put to bed, but no! He! Him! And other singular pronouns that sound sinister are hunting Nigal, Mikey, not so much Sandra and Malik but for the sake of argument and drama we will say that he is, that’s like a generic he by the way not a gender affirming one.

This queen was never a princess. Rejected as a child, Rangalan found family, friends and a home with the goblin folk of the mountains. Now hunted by the man who first rejected her, Rangalan's father, King Longhorn, there's nothing Rangalan will not do to protect her friends. That all sounds very serious. It's not. It’s actually all rather silly, utter nonsense if you ask me. Listen to it if you must, but don’t say I did not warn you.

Dracula looks on in horror at the monster's duck pouting on Instagram: teen vampires glistening in the sun with fabulous hair, werewolves with hipster beards.... He decides enough is enough. He will salvage the monster image with the monsters of old, and remind the world that they are so much more than fantasy objects for teenage girls.

A STORY OF REALITIES, SPACE AND STUFF Dave’s new job, working on the wall of Copernicus sets off a series of events that just keep escalating really, what starts as political discourse somehow ends up being a race through time, space, and reality itself. Join a group of weirdos and oddballs as they explore the very complex social and physical aspects of the ‘stuff’ that surrounds them. A multiverse is an odd place and very odd things happen inside of it, so much so you can lose sight of whatever it was you thought was not odd, to begin with.

Cy's story draws to a close. The end comes for us all eventually, but what end we face is in the hands of the Gods. Cy stands at the end of all things with his friends, his fate unknown, his destiny unclear, his gas bill unpaid.

We are back with all this business, so we are. You would think the church would be more careful with them doomsday books after what happened at Bishops Point, but it’s happened again, so it has. This time things are very grim. Santa himself and his whole operation up there in Lapland have been taken over by the Dark Lord.

Bishop's Point is about to face its biggest crisis since the distempered badgers attacked. Father O'Riley and Father O'Malley are all that stand in the devil's way. The forces of Hell descend upon the sleepy Irish town en masse, but they were not expecting the good fathers to lead a rebellion against them.

The fate of every living thing in the multiverse that has ever existed or is going to exist rests in the hands of a band of, well, weirdos if I am honest, but they are our only hope. Our reality and every possible reality are under attack from an evil force called Khaos that has sent apocalypse after apocalypse at every reality around the planet Earth. Not every version of Earth fell; a mighty few stopped the apocalypse sent by Khaos. These few are all that stand in the way of Khaos...these warriors, these heroes, these Apocalypse Blockers!

An ancient evil is returning, a war that was already won must be fought again, or once more, twice, like they already had it, but now they are doing it again because doing stuff again is what you do when the first time went ok, but this time it might not go ok, so, well, its a risk, isn't it?

It's a time of great discovery and adventure. William desperately tries to cement his legacy into this revolution of industry with little success until he is gifted some designs for a space rocket. William and his manservant, Mumbandi, build the rocket, keen to prove all of his peers wrong and be the first to travel to the stars.

Frank has questions, many questions. Startled to learn that his wife did not die after smoking mushrooms, in their mushroom smoker and burning the house down, Frank sets off on a quest to find her, and the many answers to the many questions that he has about her disappearance. The quests just keep coming, as there’s trouble in paradise, a rogue saint, Saint Charlie, has quit his job as a saint, and he’s come to Earth to make the world his domain.

The force is on a break! One of the greatest sci-fi stories ever told has been told by the heroes, it’s been told by the villains, but it has never been told by the people who were there but did not really care, because they just worked there, until now!

There was always one point, one moment in all of reality where everything that was will fight for everything that might be. It’s this point. Well, several points, but all happening at the same time, but not the same time. It’s super complicated. Some question whether it really happened at all, or will happen.

Bruce thinks he is helping mankind and playing his part in saving the planet when he develops his serum for speeding up the development of lab-grown cultured meat. What Bruce has actually done is send us to the bottom of the food chain. Well, not all the way to the bottom. We are still above ducks. Nobody gets eaten by a duck.