Showing results by author "S. Ron Mars"

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    • Eat Fish and Die

    • By: S. Ron Mars
    • Narrated by: John Pio
    • Length: 30 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4 out of 5 stars 11
    • Performance
      4.5 out of 5 stars 10
    • Story
      4 out of 5 stars 10

    Stuck on a small planetoid, we find Major Joachim Merlot. He's the military equivalent of a street sweeper, defending Earth against an alien race of stinking fish-like creatures. Merlot isn't interested in being any kind of hero - he just wants to return home and see who won the office betting pool. His odds of making it back alive are only one in 16, but that doesn't matter. He's been issued a handy dandy Battle Ready Android with the fire power of an entire platoon. The only problem? He can't let the android think too much.

    • 5 out of 5 stars
    • Extraordinarily funny

    • By Kaisersoser on 04-28-16

    Regular price: $3.95

    • Hook, Blind and Stinker

    • Eat Fish and Die, Book 3
    • By: S. Ron Mars
    • Narrated by: Eric Pollins
    • Length: 52 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4.5 out of 5 stars 3
    • Performance
      5 out of 5 stars 2
    • Story
      4.5 out of 5 stars 2

    While the interstellar war with the Kasago escalates like a monkey's weenie in a Viagra testing lab, we find Major Joachim Merlot and his Battle Ready Android defending Earth against an alien race of stinking fishy creatures. This time Merlot is on a heavily fortified colony planet where everyone figured they were safer than a rectory shower room. As you may have guessed, their assumptions about being penetrated were a bit off course. Sort of like a blind chimp driving with a nine iron.

    Regular price: $3.95

    • Into the Wazoo of Death

    • Eat Fish and Die, Book 2
    • By: S. Ron Mars
    • Narrated by: Eric Pollins
    • Length: 34 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4.5 out of 5 stars 3
    • Performance
      4.5 out of 5 stars 3
    • Story
      4.5 out of 5 stars 3

    As the interstellar war with the Kasago heats up like a Bengay-laminated jockstrap, we find Major Joachim Merlot and his battalion of battle-ready androids yet again defending Earth against an alien race of stinking fishy creatures. Unlike his last mission, his odds of making it back alive have improved - sort of. As much as the military would prefer him dead, he's more valuable for a bogus court-martial. Is he guilty? Who cares!

    Regular price: $3.95

    • The Blower Job

    • Eat Fish and Die, Book 4
    • By: S. Ron Mars
    • Narrated by: Eric Pollins
    • Length: 44 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      3.5 out of 5 stars 3
    • Performance
      4.5 out of 5 stars 2
    • Story
      3.5 out of 5 stars 2

    The interstellar Sardine War is now in full swing like a nail infested baseball bat. And once again we find Major Joachim Merlot in the middle of a nasty interstellar battle. Our hero bets he'll finally get a bullet in the head. But after meeting a hot alien soldier named Espiona, he might just get lucky. That is, in the worst possible way.

    Regular price: $3.95

    • Raising Mullah: Dr. Dimension Master of Spacetime

    • By: S. Ron Mars
    • Narrated by: Fred Wolinsky
    • Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      3.5 out of 5 stars 2
    • Performance
      3.5 out of 5 stars 2
    • Story
      3.5 out of 5 stars 2

    Dr. Demetrios Demopoulus and his gang of time traveling misfits are back, and this time they're trying really hard to keep the universe from going kaput. Or are they? Helping them stay alive is Erob, a robot who suffers from a split personality disorder. Service with a smile is not his strength, but if you need to threaten an unsuspecting humanoid or two, he's your man, er, robot. Their mission, should they wish to accept it, is to travel back to 1950s Iran and flush out alien meddlers. Why Iran? Iran so far way? Let's just say it's a mystery.

    Regular price: $14.95