Showing results by author "Mark Cain" in All Categories

"Do you know me? I am Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, Prince of Hell, second only to Satan in the infernal hierarchy. The Devil, you say? Yes, I'm one of those too." Here in one laugh-out-loud volume is the life of Beezy, Satan's BFF, and one of the most popular characters in the Circles in Hell universe. Over 14 billion years in the making, Beelzebub: A Memoir is the ultimate backstory.

What happens when Heaven’s hardest working saint is forced to take a vacation? In Saint Peter Takes a Holiday, or It's About Time, a reluctant Simon Peter heads for Aruba and a week in the sun. There, he encounters danger, romance, intrigue...and of course comedy. Magic, miracles, sunbathing, and golf, they all happen in this tropical adventure.

Satan, fallen angel, chief devil, and ruler of Hell seems to have everything: immortality, a kingdom, cool superpowers, and lots of minions to grovel at his feet. So why isn’t he happy? Simple. Satan wants more. He’s just not sure, though, what “more” even means in his case.

In this, the penultimate tale of the Circles in Hell comedy series, Charon, ferryman for the dead, and his paramour, the succubus Lilith, adopt an infant girl and settle in the suburbs of the Second Circle. Bringing up the first baby in Hell will test the parenting skills of the stalwart skeleton and his demonic partner, for Mona is no ordinary child. She soon exhibits powers that would make a devil blanch. The First Baby has her own set of firsts—from words to steps to a hospital visit—and they all unfold in madcap fashion.

Travel with Steve, doomed for eternity to serve as hell’s Mr. Fixit, on a wild ride through the circles of hell in this best-selling, humorous fantasy series.

Fans who have enjoyed the first four novels in the series have questions, such as, "What would Steve do next?" "How did it all begin?" and "What the heck is a dweebil?" More Circles in Hell: A Boxed Set has the answers. I'm No Angel picks up where The Reluctant Demon leaves off. Beelzebub: A Memoir is the ultimate back story. Fourteen billion years in the making, Beezy's tale is one of chaos, creation, and of course comedy. In The League of Unusual Denizens, seven inhabitants of hell join forces to save the universe from destruction.

Steve and Orson are back in this cracked sequel to Hell's Super, book two in the new satire and humor series, Circles in Hell. This time, the guys must fix Hell's heating and air conditioning (HVAC) system, which has failed. Hell is getting progressively colder, and things are a lot more serious than devils and demons needing to put on some sweaters.

Steve Minion, Heaven’s Emissary to Hell, reunites with his pal Orson Welles to catch a supernatural thief in this comedic “catch me if you can” tale. Go with them on a wild ride through the Circles of Hell, outer space, inner space, even the lower dimensions. Can the guys measure up? For that matter, can they measure anything, when nothing seems constant except their friendship?

Following the lead of Florence Nightingale, Steve’s partner in Eternity, he has returned to Hell to ease the suffering of the Damned. Yet Steve is faced with a dilemma. What can he do that will offer more than a brief respite from everlasting torment? And how can he make it funny at the same time? In Steve’s search for meaningful employment in the Afterlife, he has one comic misadventure after another. Along the way, he meets a few new angels and a couple of saints. He even learns what may be one of the great secrets of the universe...or maybe not.

Steve is hell's super, its handyman. Being Mr. Fixit to the underworld keeps him and his assistant, Orson Welles (yes, that Orson Welles), pretty busy, since things go on the blink all the time down there. No malfunction has ever created so much inconvenience, though, as the malfunction of hell's escalator, which leads from the pearly gates to the depths of Hades. What's worse: The breakdown appears to be sabotage.

The Lord of Hell has a staffing shortage; there aren't enough devils and demons to torment the ever-swelling ranks of the eternally damned. Satan thinks Steve is an ideal candidate for the Demon Corps. He's smart, tenacious and able to dish out punishment when the need arises. But as Old Nick tries to recruit Hell's handyman in chief, Steve gets distracted by a more pressing issue: Florence Nightingale, his on-again, off-again girlfriend, is missing, possibly kidnapped.

Steve Minion attends Beast Barracks, where he learns both the arcane and mundane arts of being a servant of the Devil. Strength, speed, and endurance are all part of a demon's physical makeup, but he must be taught to be sneaky, cruel, and ruthless and of course to ignore personal hygiene. As Steve begins work as a full-fledged bad guy, he must confront the inevitable: demons exist to torment the damned, and Hell's former handyman-in-chief doesn't seem to have the stomach for the work.

The only thing worse than the end of the universe is...Casual Day. Six denizens of Hell, one saint and a small blue alien join forces to stop the ultimate catastrophe: The destruction of the cosmos. That most of them are dead is of little consequence, for they possess great powers. Halos and horns, strength and sarcasm, courage and comedy, oh, and a management textbook: This team has them all. They are The League of Unusual Denizens.

"An epic fantasy adventure, a classic sword and sorcery tale, high fantasy and magic set in a land of ice and fire." Damon Lucas is an English instructor at a Midwestern university, successful but lonely. On a bleak winter day, he enters an antique shop run by Nick, a strange, old, giant of a man. In the shop, Damon finds and purchases a rare artifact, the fire wand of the Navajos. That night, a fire mysteriously breaks out in Damon’s home. He should have died in the blaze, but instead he wakes on Iskaldr, a world of ice and fire. Damon comes to find himself a pawn in the struggle between...

The Trinity doctrine is perplexing. Many Christians prefer explicit Scriptures on the one God over catholic creeds. Mark Cain explores living as a lower-case-u unitarian amid a trinitarian majority with insights and stories from unorthodox guests.