Carl Hiaasen

Razor Girl: A Novel

• UNABRIDGED (12 hrs and 19 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By John Rubinstein
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When Lane Coolman's car is bashed from behind on the road to the Florida Keys, what appears to be an ordinary accident is anything but (this is Hiaasen!). Behind the wheel of the other car is Merry Mansfield - the eponymous Razor Girl - and the crash scam is only the beginning of events that spiral crazily out of control while unleashing some of the wildest characters Hiaasen has ever set loose.

Hoot

• UNABRIDGED (6 hrs and 16 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By Chad Lowe
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Roy's family moves a lot, so he's used to the new-kid drill. Florida bullies are pretty much like bullies everywhere. But Roy finds himself oddly indebted to the hulking Dana Matherson. If Dana hadn't been sinking his thumbs into Roy's temples and mashing his face against the school-bus window, Roy might never have spotted the running boy. And the running boy is the first interesting thing Roy's seen in Florida.

Double Whammy

• UNABRIDGED (13 hrs and 13 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By George Wilson
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A twisted tale of murder in the world of big-stakes bass fishing tournaments. Filled with ex-wives, evangelists, and an armed pit-bull, this is a story that could only be concocted by Carl Hiaasen, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, New York Times best-selling author, and czar of Florida noir fiction.

Skinny Dip

• UNABRIDGED (13 hrs and 30 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By Stephen Hoye
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When Chaz Perron's wife discovers that he is running a scam (posing as a marine biologist to doctor water samples so that an agribusiness tycoon can continue illegally dumping fertilizer into the Everglades), he pushes her overboard from a cruise liner. Unlucky for Chaz, Joey survives clutching a bale of Jamaican pot. Rescued from the Atlantic by a former police officer, Mick Stranahan, she decides not to report him but instead haunt and taunt him, with Mick's help, by playing dead.

Skink - No Surrender

• UNABRIDGED (7 hrs and 50 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By Kirby Heyborne
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Classic Malley - to avoid being shipped off to boarding school, she takes off with some guy she met online. Poor Richard - he knows his cousin’s in trouble before she does. Wild Skink - he’s a ragged, one-eyed ex-governor of Florida, and enough of a renegade to think he can track Malley down. With Richard riding shotgun, the unlikely pair scour the state, undaunted by blinding storms, crazed pigs, flying bullets, and giant gators.

Scat

• UNABRIDGED (9 hrs and 17 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By Edward Asner
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Mrs. Bunny Starch, the most feared biology teacher ever, was last seen during a field trip to Black Vine Swamp. The school's headmaster and the police seem to have accepted the sketchy, unsigned note explaining that her absence is due to a family emergency. Theres no real evidence of foul play. But still, Nick and Marta don't buy it. Something weird is definitely going on.

Carl Hiaasen is a columnist for the Miami Herald and is the author of many best-selling titles, including Sick Puppy, Nature Girl, and The Downhill Lie.

Chomp

• UNABRIDGED (6 hrs and 13 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By James Van Der Beek
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Wahoo Cray lives in a zoo. His father is an animal wrangler, so he's grown up with all manner of gators, snakes, parrots, rats, monkeys, snappers, and more in his backyard. The critters he can handle. His father is the unpredictable one.

Basket Case

• UNABRIDGED (10 hrs and 9 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By George Newbern
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Once a hotshot investigative reporter, Jack Tagger now bangs out obituaries for a South Florida daily, "plotting to resurrect my newspaper career by yoking my byline to some famous stiff". Jimmy Stoma, the infamous front man of Jimmy and the Slut Puppies, dead in a fishy-smelling scuba "accident", might be the stiff of Jack’s dreams - if only he can figure out what happened.

Skin Tight

• UNABRIDGED (14 hrs and 42 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By George Wilson
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This novel by Carl Hiaasen, author of Tourist Season and Native Tongue, begins as most thrillers do, with a killing. But this is no everyday, hum-drum, garden variety killing. Our hero, Nick Stranahan, a 42-year-old private investigator who has killed five men and been married five times, skewers his attacker's aorta with the razor-sharp bill of a stuffed marlin.

Flush

• UNABRIDGED (5 hrs and 22 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By Michael Welch

You know it's going to be a rough summer when you spend Father's Day visiting your dad in the local lockup.Noah's dad is sure that the owner of the Coral Queen casino boat is flushing raw sewage into the harbor, which has made taking a dip at the local beach like swimming in a toilet. He can't prove it though, and so he decides that sinking the boat will make an effective statement. Right. The boat is pumped out and back in business within days and Noah's dad is stuck in the clink.

Bad Monkey

• UNABRIDGED (11 hrs and 25 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By Arte Johnson
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Andrew Yancy - late of the Miami Police and soon-to-be-late of the Monroe County sheriff’s office - has a human arm in his freezer. There’s a logical (Hiaasenian) explanation for that, but not for how and why it parted from its shadowy owner. Yancy thinks the boating-accident/shark-luncheon explanation is full of holes, and if he can prove murder, the sheriff might rescue him from his grisly Health Inspector gig (it’s not called the roach patrol for nothing). But first - this being Hiaasen country - Yancy must negotiate an obstacle course of wildly unpredictable events with a crew of even more wildly unpredictable characters.

Sick Puppy

• UNABRIDGED (12 hrs and 2 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By George Newbern
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When Palmer Stoat notices the black pickup truck following him on the highway, he fears his precious Range Rover is about to be carjacked. But Twilly Spree, the man tailing Stoat, has vengeance, not sport-utility vehicles, on his mind. Idealistic, independently wealthy, and pathologically short-tempered, Twilly has dedicated himself to saving Florida's wilderness from runaway destruction. He favors unambiguous political statements - such as torching Jet-Skis or blowing up banks - that leave his human targets shaken but re-educated.

Strip Tease

• UNABRIDGED (15 hrs and 12 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By George Wilson
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No matter what you heard or thought about the movie version of Strip Tease, forget it. Film simply can’t catch the layers of humor, satire, and imagination that Pulitzer Prize-winning author Carl Hiaasen creates in each of his novels.

Native Tongue

• UNABRIDGED (15 hrs and 57 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By George Wilson
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Ex-reporter Joe Winder had been working in the public relations department of a sleazy family entertainment park, The Amazing Kingdom of Thrills, when he chanced upon a news-breaking story inspired by the disappearance of two blue-tongued voles and the bizarre death of Orky, the killer whale.

Stormy Weather

• UNABRIDGED (14 hrs and 8 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By George Wilson
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Stormy Weather centers on the aftermath of Hurricane Andrew. The devastation of the storm has attracted crowds of voyeurs and impostors to Florida. Drawn by the chance to prey on Andrew's victims, misfits like the murderous ex-con Snapper and the dangerously seductive Edie find easy targets for their insurance scams. They're not prepared, though, when they meet their opposition, led by a hoary ex-governor who smokes toads.

Both hilariously funny and deadly accurate, Carl Hiaasen's novel will take you into a Florida that is far from the frilly palms and pink flamingos of its post cards.

Tourist Season

• UNABRIDGED (13 hrs and 48 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By George Wilson

Tourist season is swinging into high gear in Miami. So are the activities of a bizarre terrorist group determined to keep the hapless "snowbirds" away. Armed with bombs, weed, and jumbled credos, they move toward their grand target, the Orange Bowl Parade, with plans to bring Miami and its tourist trade to a halt.

Lucky You

• UNABRIDGED (12 hrs and 5 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By George Newbern
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Grange, Florida, is famous for its miracles - the weeping fiberglass Madonna, the Road-Stain Jesus, the stigmata man. And now it has JoLayne Lucks, unlikely winner of the state lottery. Unfortunately, JoLayne's winning ticket isn't the only one. The other belongs to Bodean Gazzer and his raunchy sidekick, Chub, who believe they're entitled to the whole $28 million jackpot. And they need it quickly, to start their own underground militia before NATO troops invade America. But JoLayne Lucks has her own plans for the Lotto money - an Eden-like forest in Grange must be saved from strip-malling.

Dance of the Reptiles: Rampaging Tourists, Marauding Pythons, Larcenous Legislators, Crazed Celebrities, and Tar-Balled Beaches: Selected Columns

• UNABRIDGED (12 hrs and 42 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen, Diane Stevenson (editor)
• Narrated By Arte Johnson
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If you think the wildest, wackiest stories that Carl Hiaasen can tell have all made it into his hilarious, best-selling novels, think again. Dance of the Reptiles collects the best of Hiaasen's Miami Herald columns, which lay bare the stories - large and small - that demonstrate anew that truth is far stranger than fiction. Hiaasen offers his commentary - indignant, disbelieving, sometimes righteously angry, and frequently hilarious - on burning issues like animal welfare, polluted rivers, and the broken criminal justice system as well as the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, Bernie Madoff's trial, and the shenanigans of the recent presidential elections.

Star Island

• UNABRIDGED (11 hrs and 30 mins)
• By Carl Hiaasen
• Narrated By Stephen Hoye
• Whispersync for Voice-ready

Meet 22-year-old Cherry Pye (nee Cheryl Bunterman), a pop star since she was 14 - and about to attempt a comeback from her latest drug-and-alcohol disaster.Now meet Cherry again: in the person of her undercover stunt double, Ann DeLusia. Ann portrays Cherry whenever the singer is too indisposed - meaning wasted - to go out in public. And it is Ann-mistaken-for-Cherry who is kidnapped from a South Beach hotel by obsessed paparazzo Bang Abbott.