Showing results by publisher "The Onion, Audible Comedy" in All Categories
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ESPN Courts Women With Emotionally Strongest Man Competition
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Original Recording
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The ESPN competitors push themselves to the limit with astounding feats of inner strength in domestic settings.
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ESPN Courts Women With Emotionally Strongest Man Competition
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 11-29-17
- Language: English
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An Unsolicited Government Report Says Dry Humping is an Adequate Sex Alternative for Teens
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: 1 min
- Original Recording
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This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.
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less than a minute
- By Niall on 03-16-19
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An Unsolicited Government Report Says Dry Humping is an Adequate Sex Alternative for Teens
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 02-13-17
- Language: English
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McDonald's Considers Franchising Restaurants After 70 Years of Being Family Owned and Operated
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: 1 min
- Original Recording
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The company has been staffed almost entirely by blood relatives and in-laws for decade.
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McDonald's Considers Franchising Restaurants After 70 Years of Being Family Owned and Operated
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 11-01-17
- Language: English
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The Nation Descends Into Utter Moral Chaos Following the Death of the 'Dear Abby' Columnist
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Original Recording
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The death of "Dear Abby" columnist sends the country into a downward spiral.
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It’s perfect
- By Salinh Thach on 12-23-20
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The Nation Descends Into Utter Moral Chaos Following the Death of the 'Dear Abby' Columnist
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 02-04-17
- Language: English
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Michelle Obama Seen Walking the First Rhinoceros
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 12-04-16
- Language: English
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The US Will Offer Official United States of America Franchise Opportunities
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Original Recording
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Franchisees will receive an America welcome kit that includes a Statue of Liberty replica.
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The US Will Offer Official United States of America Franchise Opportunities
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 04-25-17
- Language: English
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The Passing of an Ohio Man Forces the Nation to Confront Death for the First Time
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: 1 min
- Original Recording
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Most Americans had only experienced death in books or movies until now.
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I guess the Onion is on Audible now..
- By Satya on 07-17-23
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The Passing of an Ohio Man Forces the Nation to Confront Death for the First Time
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 08-21-17
- Language: English
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New and Improved Google Maps Lets Users Launch Missiles at Any Location on Earth
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 03-04-17
- Language: English
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Hollywood Diet Secrets Fall Into Non-Celebrity Hands
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 05-19-17
- Language: English
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A Daily Spin Class Is the Only Thing Keeping a Local Mom from Driving a Car Full of Kids into the Ocean
- By: Marichelle Kawachi
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Original Recording
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This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.
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A Daily Spin Class Is the Only Thing Keeping a Local Mom from Driving a Car Full of Kids into the Ocean
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 02-23-17
- Language: English
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The Nation Is Waist-Deep in Soybeans after a $30 Trillion Farm Subsidy Bill Is Accidentally Passed
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Original Recording
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Millions are now trapped in their houses because of soybean drifts.
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The Nation Is Waist-Deep in Soybeans after a $30 Trillion Farm Subsidy Bill Is Accidentally Passed
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 08-17-17
- Language: English
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An Outrageous Pictionary Drawing Goes down in Family Lore
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 08-18-17
- Language: English
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Pope Francis Pursues a Sinner Across Vatican City Rooftops
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 12-07-17
- Language: English
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A New Apple Campaign Urges Consumers to Buy an iPhone for Their Other Hand
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Original Recording
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This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.
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Insightful, informative and interestingly intense.
- By JIM on 06-02-20
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A New Apple Campaign Urges Consumers to Buy an iPhone for Their Other Hand
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 10-07-16
- Language: English
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Japan Grants the Right to Vote to Female Robots
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 12-12-16
- Language: English
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NASA Completes Its 52-Year Mission to Find and Kill God
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 12-28-16
- Language: English
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Buddhist Extremist Vow to Release Tranquility on the West
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 09-30-15
- Language: English
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Guinness World Records Promotes a Man Who Can Lift 27 Pounds with His Tongue to Editor-in-Chief
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: 1 min
- Original Recording
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The man beat out other applicants including a man who can enter a piece of zipped luggage in 3.2 seconds.
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Guinness World Records Promotes a Man Who Can Lift 27 Pounds with His Tongue to Editor-in-Chief
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 09-14-17
- Language: English
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A Local Man Puts a Glass of Water on His Nightstand in Case He Needs to Make a Huge Mess in the Middle of the Night
- By: Marichelle Kawachi
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Original Recording
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This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.
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A Local Man Puts a Glass of Water on His Nightstand in Case He Needs to Make a Huge Mess in the Middle of the Night
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 09-13-16
- Language: English
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Meth Addicts Demand the Government Address the Nation's Growing Spider Menace
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: 1 min
- Original Recording
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[Contains explicit content] This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.
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Don’t waste your 30 seconds
- By Elizabeth on 07-25-19
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Meth Addicts Demand the Government Address the Nation's Growing Spider Menace
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 09-13-16
- Language: English
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