Showing results by narrator "Patrick Harris" in All Categories

Socks is one happy cat. He lives the good life with his affectionate owners, Mr. and Mrs. Bricker. Ever since the day they saved him from a life spent in a mailbox drop slot, Socks has been the center of their world. And he always has everything he needs - tasty kitty treats and all the lap room he could want!

Since the dawn of history man has searched for the answer to the most fundamental of questions: “Why am I here... not banging chicks?” The search is over. Now, with the help of The Playbook, you’ll be able to approach any beautiful woman, discover her innermost passion, and use that to trick her into sleeping with you. You’ll master more than 75 seduction techniques, developed by pickup guru and all-around good guy Barney Stinson, guaranteed to turn you into a bona fide ladies’ man.

Growing up in an orphanage, Leila was bullied for being different. She turned her hardship into skill by becoming an escape artist - a valuable trait when belonging to a group of magical best friends. But when a famous psychic comes to town, Leila and her pals won't be able to escape the big mystery heading their way. Whether chasing mad monkeys or banishing ghosts from haunted hotels, these six friends will do their best to keep Mineral Wells safe - but can they still protect themselves in the process?

A beautiful woman, a powerful Mexican rancher, and an exotic new breed of cattle come to John Slaughter’s San Bernardino Valley ranch, along with the prospect of making a small fortune. While Slaughter’s men are out keeping the peace in Tombstone, an act of betrayal turns up the heat under his own roof, and a killer is stalking Slaughter’s wealthy Mexican guest. Indians suddenly savagely attack Slaughter’s ranch, but it is only the first shot in a bigger, blazing Arizona bloodbath.

Who hasn't wondered for a split second what the world would be like the object of your affliction ceased to exist? But then you've probably never heard of The McMasters Conservatory, dedicated to the consummate execution of the homicidal arts. To gain admission, a student must have an ethical reason for erasing someone who deeply deserves a fate no worse (nor better) than death.

Trust Fall isn't your typical 9-to-5 comedy. Created by Claire Friedman and featuring a cast that reads like a humor hall of fame—Colin Jost, Wanda Sykes, Chris Parnell, Neil Patrick Harris, Cecily Strong, and more—this is a sidesplitting adventure in the corporate circus.

The Change occurred when an electrical storm centered over the island of Nantucket produced a blinding white flash that rendered all electronic devices and fuels inoperable - and plunged the world into a dark age humanity was unprepared to face....Michael Havel was flying over Idaho en route to the holiday home of his passengers when the plane’s engines inexplicably died, forcing a less than perfect landing in the wilderness. And as Michael leads his charges to safety, he begins to realize that the engine failure was not an isolated incident.

In the tenth year of the Change, the survivors in western Oregon live in a world without technology. Michael Havel’s Bearkillers hold the lands west of Salem in peace and order. To the east, the Clan Mackenzie flourishes under the leadership of Juniper Mackenzie, bard and High Priestess. Together, they have held Norman Arminger - the warlord of Portland - at bay. With his dark fantasies of a neofeudal empire, Arminger rules much of the Pacific Northwest, spreading fear with his knights, castles, and holy inquisition.

Good ol' Ribsy's ever-curious mind has always gotten him into trouble, but this time he may have gone too far. After a comical turn of events, Ribsy finds himself in the wrong station wagon with the wrong children. Ribsy will do anything to find Henry, but there's plenty of excitement to be had along the way - and scoring a touchdown for a local high school team is only part of the fun!

A New York Times best seller and USA Today best-selling book! From award-winning actor Neil Patrick Harris comes the magical first book in a new series with plenty of tricks up its sleeve. When street magician Carter runs away, he never expects to find friends and magic in a sleepy New England town. But like any good trick, things change instantly as greedy B.B. Bosso and his crew of crooked carnies arrive to steal anything and everything they can get their sticky fingers on.

The theft of a whetstone from a Welsh museum and the murder of a curate during a grave robbery seem, at first, like random crimes. But the troubling deeds are linked by a precarious thread. An unusual collection of rare and scattered British antiquities has become a target — and the relics' value lies in something much more dangerous than money....

Everyone's life is governed by an internal code of conduct. Some call it morality. Others call it religion. But Bros in the know call this holy grail the Bro Code.Historically a spoken tradition passed from one generation to the next, the official code of conduct for Bros appears here in its published form for the first time ever. By upholding the tenets of this sacred and legendary document, any dude can learn to achieve Bro-dom.

In the zoo there are all kinds of animal families. But Tango's family is not like any of the others.

Brad Denning's brother Petey is long lost, and Brad's picture-perfect life is haunted by guilt over Petey's childhood disappearance. But everything changes one day when a man claiming to be Petey appears, ingratiates himself in Brad's life - and then kidnaps Brad's wife and son. After the police and FBI are forced to end their fruitless search, Brad's only recourse is to put himself into the mind of the man who claimed to be his brother, and hunt him down himself.

An unplanned murder during a bank robbery has another sheriff on the trail of those on the lam.

The Blood Countess — Elizabeth Bathory, a true monster of history — is one of the most infamous serial killers. Said to have murdered 650 young women for their blood, she believed bathing in it would preserve her vitality and beauty. It's a story that has always fascinated archaeologist and TV host Annja Creed. Something so fantastic could only be a story. So what is Annja to make of the girl she finds dying on the side of the road…from blood loss?

"Congratulations!" You're about to have a kid? Well, Bro, you might be asking yourself a series of important questions: Will I be able to afford this? Can I ever have sex again? Will I be a good parent? Am I able to love this child as much as I love my own life? Can I ever have sex again? Well, the answer to all of these questions is a rock solid "no." But just because your life is now a petrifying turd on the canvas of life doesn't mean your kid has to be as lame as you're about to become. And Barney Stinson is here to help.

Rudi Mackenzie has been abducted by the forces of the Portland Protective Association, whose forces have pushed the Bearkillers and Mackenzie’s to the edge of defeat. Will aid arrive in time or will Mike Havel and his family be defeated by Norman Arminger and his mad grab for power? What of the secret plan now afoot between the Mackenzie’s and the forces at Mount Angel? Will the Abbot Dmwoski and his forces be able to break the siege of their monastery in time to come to the aid of Lady Juniper and her Witch Army?

A killer is on the loose in the Arizona Territory. One by one, Tonto Basin ranchers are being murdered for their livestock -and the Cattle Raisers Association has hired two range detectives to catch the culprit. From the looks of them, Stovepipe Stewart and Wilbur Coleman are just another pair of high plains drifters. But with their razor-sharp detective skills and rare talent for trouble, they’re the last remaining hope for one young cowboy who’s been arrested for the murders. 

The Byrnes family came to Texas and carved out a place on the land. Three generations who paid in blood and treasure. Children carried off by Comanche. A brother lost to war. Lives shattered. Chet Byrnes was trying to hold the ranch together through one more winter for one more cattle drive when he hanged three horse thieves this side of the Red River - and a blood feud erupted....