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In this episode, Matt and Paige move through three conversations that are deeply connected and hard to ignore once you see them clearly.

First, we talk about red flags that get mislabeled as “just the addiction.” Weaponized vows, religious guilt, control, degradation, chronic blame-shifting, intimidation, and verbal abuse are not substance issues. They are values issues.

Next, we address fear, especially the anxiety that comes with co-parenting and letting go of outcomes you cannot control. If you have ever asked, “How do I make this feeling stop?” the answer may be uncomfortable. You do not avoid fear, you move through it. We break down why uncertainty feels unbearable, why repetition matters, and how clarity around your values changes everything.

Finally, Matt shares a raw realization that has been weighing on him. The more stories we hear, the clearer it becomes how rare real accountability and growth actually are and how low the bar has been set. We talk honestly about why that is heartbreaking, why it should not be normal, and how accepting less than you deserve keeps people stuck.

This episode is not about telling you what to do. It is about helping you see what is actually happening so you can decide what you are willing to tolerate, protect yourself and your kids, and stop confusing hope with endurance.

If you are a man listening and this episode hits, Matt would genuinely love to hear from you at matt@twfocouple.com

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In this Mindset Monday, I’m walking through a handful of quotes I found in an Instagram carousel and breaking down what they actually mean in real life. Not the fluffy, motivational poster version. The version that applies to sobriety, rebuilding trust, leaving the wrong situation, and becoming the kind of person who doesn’t just “get sober,” but actually grows up.

We talk about why becoming your best self requires a lot of goodbyes, why you can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick, and why waiting for perfect conditions keeps you stuck. We also get into fear, stoic ideas that helped me in early recovery, and the truth behind “this is what hard feels like.”

As promised, check out the IG post here

Then at the end, I answer a listener question about early sobriety and marriage: her husband is 90 days sober, wants affection and feels like she’s “mean,” and she’s asking for concrete examples of how I rebuilt safety, stability, and trust so desire could return. I’ll share exactly what I did, what I would focus on at 90 days, and why nobody gets to demand closeness they haven’t earned.

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On the web:
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Support the Show:
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Online Program:
www.independentlystrong.com

Soberlink Device:
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The struggle is real, but it doesn’t have to control your life.

In this episode of Paige’s Perspective, Paige breaks down how everyday struggles like lack of motivation, emotional exhaustion, inconsistent routines, exercise resistance, comfort eating, and low energy can quietly become your identity if you let them. She shares practical mindset shifts that help you take action even when life feels hard.

This episode also speaks directly to spouses and partners of people struggling with addiction. Paige addresses hypervigilance, trauma responses, emotional burnout, carrying the mental load alone, and living in constant uncertainty in addiction-affected relationships. She explains why scanning for moods, checking for bottles, and staying in survival mode keeps you stuck, and how reclaiming personal agency is the first step toward healing.

This is not about toxic positivity or pretending everything is fine. It’s about resilience, self-trust, discipline over motivation, and learning how to stop surviving and start living again.

If you feel stuck, exhausted, or overwhelmed, this episode will help you reframe struggle, regain control, and make choices that align with your values.

Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!

On the web:
www.twfo.com

Support the Show:
Buy Us a Coffee!

Online Program:
www.independentlystrong.com

Soberlink Device:
www.soberlink.com/wheels

Check out our blog:
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https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/

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