#282 - Red Flags, Fear, and the Standard We’ve Accepted
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In this episode, Matt and Paige move through three conversations that are deeply connected and hard to ignore once you see them clearly.
First, we talk about red flags that get mislabeled as “just the addiction.” Weaponized vows, religious guilt, control, degradation, chronic blame-shifting, intimidation, and verbal abuse are not substance issues. They are values issues.
Next, we address fear, especially the anxiety that comes with co-parenting and letting go of outcomes you cannot control. If you have ever asked, “How do I make this feeling stop?” the answer may be uncomfortable. You do not avoid fear, you move through it. We break down why uncertainty feels unbearable, why repetition matters, and how clarity around your values changes everything.
Finally, Matt shares a raw realization that has been weighing on him. The more stories we hear, the clearer it becomes how rare real accountability and growth actually are and how low the bar has been set. We talk honestly about why that is heartbreaking, why it should not be normal, and how accepting less than you deserve keeps people stuck.
This episode is not about telling you what to do. It is about helping you see what is actually happening so you can decide what you are willing to tolerate, protect yourself and your kids, and stop confusing hope with endurance.
If you are a man listening and this episode hits, Matt would genuinely love to hear from you at matt@twfocouple.com
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