Episodios

  • 425 Raising the Bottom: How to Stop Drinking Before You Hit Rock Bottom

    425 Raising the Bottom: How to Stop Drinking Before You Hit Rock Bottom
    Apr 9 2026
    You Don't Have to Lose Everything First: What Step One Really Teaches Us If you've ever looked at the 12 steps and thought that's not for me, you're not alone. I thought the same thing for years. The God stuff felt like a barrier. The word "powerless" felt insulting. And the idea that my life had to look like a wreck before I qualified? That kept me stuck longer than anything else. This week on the podcast, I sat down with Sonia Kahlon — founder of EverBlume and host of the Sisters in Sobriety podcast — to start working the 12 steps together, live, on air. Sonia has nearly nine years of sobriety and had never formally worked the steps. Sound familiar? She's doing it now, and we're bringing you along for the whole journey. What Powerlessness Actually Means Step One is this: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable. The key word most people miss is over alcohol. Not over your whole life. Not over your career or your relationships or your sense of self. Just over alcohol. When you look at the dictionary definition — powerless means without ability, influence, or resources — suddenly it clicks. Sonia said it perfectly: once I started drinking, I never knew how much I was going to drink. I told myself just one and ended up ten drinks in. Every single time. That's not a character flaw. That's powerlessness over a substance. Raising the Bottom One of the most powerful concepts we talked about is "raising the bottom." The 12 steps and 12 traditions describe it as sparing yourself the last 10 to 15 years of literal hell. You don't have to get a DUI, lose your marriage, or end up in a hospital before you decide to change. Sonia had what some call a "silk sheet bottom" — financially stable, healthy marriage, functioning career. But emotionally? She wanted to die. That's a bottom. It just didn't look like one from the outside. And that invisibility is exactly why so many high-functioning people wait too long. Sober vs. Recovered Here's something we don't talk about enough: you can be sober and still not be okay. Sonia and I talked about the difference between sobriety — not drinking — and recovery, which is the ongoing work of becoming emotionally healthy. You can have years of sobriety and still be running on old patterns, substituting one coping mechanism for another, and avoiding the deeper work. The steps are one path into that deeper work. Action Items: – Read Step One in the 12 Steps & 12 Traditions (free online) – Write down the dictionary definitions of "powerless" and "unmanageable" — then see how they apply to your drinking, not your whole life – List specific moments where you were powerless over alcohol — not your rock bottom stories, just examples where you couldn't keep a promise to yourself about drinking – Find a women's step study meeting near you (or online) and commit to going once Books & Resources Mentioned: – The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions (AA) – Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book) – The 12 Step Guide for Skeptics by Arlina Allen – EverBlume — online recovery support groups founded by Sonia Kahlon: https://everblume.com – Open Recovery — free Wednesday night meetings: https://openrecovery.app Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days – With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes! Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpBAmazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast
    Más Menos
    53 m
  • 424 The 6 Saboteurs Destroying Your Self-Control (And How to Beat Them) with Eric Zimmer

    424 The 6 Saboteurs Destroying Your Self-Control (And How to Beat Them) with Eric Zimmer
    Apr 2 2026
    What if the secret to lasting change isn't a single powerful moment, but thousands of tiny, unremarkable ones? That's the central idea behind Eric Zimmer's powerful new book, How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life. Eric is the host of The One You Feed podcast and a long-time figure in the recovery community with 26 years of sobriety. In Episode 424, he and I explored why real transformation happens slowly — and why that's actually good news. The Hammer and the Chisel Eric opens his book with the story of Dasrath Manjhi, an Indian man who lost his wife because the road to the hospital was impossibly long. After her death, he took a hammer and chisel to the mountain separating his village from the town and spent decades chipping away at it — enduring ridicule and seemingly no progress — until he had carved a path that cut travel time by 90%. Eric calls this the ultimate story of how a little becomes a lot: not dynamite, just consistent effort. Why Progress Is Invisible Before It's Obvious One of the most important points Eric makes is that progress happens long before we can see it. Our brains, wired for negativity bias, are constantly scanning for what's not working — which makes it easy to miss all the marbles accumulating in the jar. He shared a story of a client who began putting a marble in a jar each sober day (without removing any for slips), and how seeing that jar fill up over months changed her entire relationship with her recovery. The Recipe for Change Eric's formula is simple but not easy: low-resistance actions, done consistently, over time, in the same direction. Low-resistance doesn't mean tiny — it means something you will actually do. Consistent means you don't stop when it gets hard or invisible. And same direction means you aren't scattered across 30 goals. The 6 Saboteurs of Self-Control Eric identifies six things that derail us at our "choice points": The Autopilot Pitfall — acting without awareness (hello, phone scrolling)Fatigue Fallout — being too tired to make good choicesThe Shortsighted Stumble — valuing the present over the future (play the tape all the way through)Emotional Escapism — wanting to feel different than you doThe Self-Doubt Stalemate — believing you can't do itThe Insignificance Trap — thinking one day doesn't matter Action Items from This Episode Do the values exercise on page 35: identify three times you were happiest, most proud, and most fulfilled — then look for the pattern.Pick a "guide" — someone you admire — and note what qualities you admire. Those are your values.Identify your current top saboteur and name one structural change to make it easier to choose well.Start a marble jar. Seriously. Books & Resources Mentioned How a Little Becomes a Lot by Eric Zimmer – Buy HereThe One You Feed podcast — oneyoufeed.net Guest Website: https://oneyoufeed.net Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days – With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes! Listen to the episode onApple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast
    Más Menos
    1 h y 3 m
  • 423 The Sober Founder: How Recovery Principles Built a Business — and a Movement

    423 The Sober Founder: How Recovery Principles Built a Business — and a Movement
    Mar 26 2026
    When Nothing Goes According to Plan — and That's the Point Andrew Lassise didn't get sober because he wanted to. He got sober because a judge gave him a choice: jail or rehab. He chose rehab. And as he'll tell you, that was the best decision he never really made. Andrew's story is the kind that makes you laugh out loud and then quietly reassess your own life. At 16, he was blacking out at parties. By college, it was a daily habit. By his mid-twenties, he had a 0.24 BAC DUI, three failed breathalyzer readings on his own car-mounted device, and a pocket breathalyzer he'd purchased on eBay to cheat the first one. "I could have just stopped drinking," he admits now. "But that wasn't an option until the judge made it one." What happened in the years that followed is a masterclass in what recovery actually looks like when you apply it everywhere — not just to the bottle, but to business, failure, and the relentless uncertainty of building something from scratch. Failure as Feedback After rehab, Andrew moved to Florida, brought the wrong resume to a job interview, and accidentally landed his first tech job. He joined a small IT company, loved it — and then watched it go out of business. His response? Offer to keep running the tech department for free from his living room. That's the company he spent the next decade building. In 2023, he sold it for 70 times the number someone once told him he was "crazy" to want. Along the way, there were credit card processors who held his money for years, campaigns that completely flopped, and moments where — as he says — "knowing what I know now, I would have quit." But he didn't. And the program was a big part of why. "My sponsor would tell me: you can keep fighting reality, or you can accept it for what it is," Andrew says. "Change what you can change. Let go of what you can't." The Community That Didn't Exist After selling his company and spending exactly one year in corporate (he quit three hours after he was legally required to stay), Andrew did an ikigai exercise — mapping out the intersection of what he loves, what he's good at, and what the world needs. The answer was clear: a community for sober entrepreneurs. When he went looking for it, it didn't exist. So he built it. Sober Founders is a nonprofit — Andrew makes $0 as president — built on 12-step principles and designed for entrepreneurs who want to bring their real business problems to a group that gets it. The results speak for themselves: connections made, deals done, and more than a few phone calls where people cry out of gratitude. Action Items: Visit soberfounders.org and attend a weekly meeting Try the Arthur Brooks failure journal exercise: write down what happened, then revisit in 3 months Ask yourself Andrew's question: When's the last time God let me down? Do your own ikigai exercise to find the intersection of purpose and skill My First Million — podcast Andrew mentioned listening to (about strikeouts before home runs) Arthur Brooks' Failure Journal Exercise — write down what happened after a failure, revisit in 3 months, then again 3 months after that The Ikigai Exercise — finding the intersection of what you love, what you're good at, and what the world needs (this is what led Andrew to start Sober Founders) Sober Founders — soberfounders.org, free weekly Thursday mastermind meetings Vistage / YPO / EO (Entrepreneur's Organization) — mentioned as peer groups with a similar model to Sober Founders Soberlink — the in-car breathalyzer brand Andrew referenced from his DUI story Guest Website: https://www.soberfounders.org 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes! Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast
    Más Menos
    57 m
  • 422 From Trauma to Freedom: How Letting Go Changed Everything

    422 From Trauma to Freedom: How Letting Go Changed Everything
    Mar 19 2026
    What if your energy was like a bag of Skittles? That's the metaphor Anne uses in this conversation, and once you hear it, you can't unsee it. Every day you wake up with a limited number of Skittles. Each one represents your energy — mentally, emotionally, and physically. The problem? Most of us are throwing our Skittles away without even realizing it. We spend them worrying about things we can't control, replaying conversations in our heads, arguing on social media, or saying yes to things we don't actually want to do. Before we know it, our energy is gone. And we're left feeling exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from the life we actually want. Anne knows this pattern well. For years, she lived in survival mode. After experiencing childhood trauma and later losing her sister unexpectedly, alcohol became a way to numb the pain. Eventually the chaos caught up with her. At 39, she checked into rehab and began the process of unpacking the deeper reasons behind her drinking. What she discovered changed everything. Healing wasn't about simply removing alcohol. It was about confronting the invisible weight she had been carrying for decades. Through therapy, journaling, somatic work, and eventually an ayahuasca experience, Anne began releasing the emotional burdens she had unknowingly held onto. As those burdens lifted, something surprising happened. Her energy came back. Suddenly, she had clarity about what mattered and what didn't. She stopped wasting Skittles. Anne believes the key to peace and purpose is understanding one simple truth: You are the architect of your life. Not your past. Not other people's expectations. Not your circumstances. You. That means you also have the power to change how you spend your energy. Here are a few simple ways to start: 1. Notice where your Skittles go. Pay attention to what drains your energy during the day. Arguments? Worry? Overcommitment? 2. Stop saying yes when you mean no. Every "yes" to someone else is a "no" to something else in your life. 3. Question old patterns. Ask yourself: "Why do I keep doing this?" Awareness is the first step toward change. 4. Take your power back. Blame gives away your power. Responsibility gives it back. The truth is, most people think life is happening to them. But Anne sees it differently. Life is happening for you. And once you stop wasting your Skittles on things that don't matter, you'll have the energy to build a life that actually does. Buy The Book: https://amzn.to/4sNdDDq 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes! Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast
    Más Menos
    58 m
  • 421 The Hidden Beliefs That Control Your Behavior With Nir Eyal

    421 The Hidden Beliefs That Control Your Behavior With Nir Eyal
    Mar 12 2026
    The Beliefs That Shape Our Behavior One of the most frustrating experiences in life is knowing exactly what to do, but still not doing it. If you've ever tried to quit drinking, build a new habit, improve your health, or pursue a goal and found yourself slipping back into old patterns, you're not alone. In this episode, I talk with behavioral design expert and bestselling author Nir Eyal about why this happens. The answer isn't a lack of knowledge. It's BELIEF. The Motivation Triangle Nir explains that motivation isn't just about wanting something. It's actually built on three elements: Behavior Benefit Belief If we don't believe the effort will work—or if we don't believe we're capable of change—our motivation collapses. We might know exactly what to do, but something inside stops us from taking action. This is why so many people struggle with the knowledge-action gap. The Power of Beliefs One of the most powerful ideas Nir shares is this: Beliefs are tools, not truths. Most of us assume our beliefs are facts. But many beliefs are simply interpretations we've repeated so often they feel true. And those beliefs shape everything: What we notice How we interpret events What actions we take This is why two people can experience the same situation and come away with completely different conclusions. Pain vs. Suffering Another important distinction we discuss is the difference between pain and suffering. Pain is a signal. Suffering is the interpretation of that signal. When we believe discomfort is unbearable, we escape it—often through unhealthy behaviors. But when we learn to reinterpret discomfort, we gain the ability to stay present instead of reacting impulsively. Persistence Is the Real Secret One fascinating study Nir shares involved rats swimming in water. Normally they gave up after about 15 minutes. But when the researchers briefly rescued them and then returned them to the water, the rats kept swimming for 60 hours. The only thing that changed was their belief that rescue might be possible. That belief unlocked persistence. And persistence is what ultimately determines success. Action Steps If you want to apply these ideas in your life, start with these steps: Identify a belief that might be limiting you. Ask yourself if it's absolutely true. Consider alternative explanations. Notice how that belief affects your behavior. Experiment with a more empowering belief. When we change our beliefs, we often change our actions—and our lives. Books Mentioned Beyond Belief — Nir Eyal Indistractable — Nir Eyal Guest Website: 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes! Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast
    Más Menos
    1 h
  • 420 The Root Cause of Emotional Eating In Sobriety

    420 The Root Cause of Emotional Eating In Sobriety
    Mar 5 2026
    The Root Cause of Emotional Eating In Sobriety There's something we don't talk about enough. You quit drinking. You do the work. You go to meetings. You build a life you're proud of. And then… You find yourself standing in the kitchen at 9pm. Again. Maybe it's sugar. Maybe it's "just a little snack." Maybe it's eating in secret. Maybe it's feeling out of control around food in a way that feels eerily familiar. A lot of people in recovery don't want to admit this part. But it's common. Very common. In this week's conversation with Ali Shapiro, we unpacked something that changed the way I think about food struggles — especially for sober people. She said something powerful: "You don't love food so much. You're trying to feel safe." Because if addiction is avoidance of pain… then food can absolutely become the next strategy. Not because you're weak. Not because you lack discipline. Not because you're broken. But because your nervous system still wants relief. It's Not About Food. It's About Belonging. Here's the framework that stopped me in my tracks. Ali asks her clients two questions: Think of a positive food memory. Think of a painful food moment. Then she looks for one thing. Belonging. When food memories feel warm and good, there's usually connection. Celebration. Safety. When food feels chaotic or secretive, there's usually isolation. Shame. Disconnection. It's not about calories. It's about whether you feel like you matter. That's a different conversation entirely. Why We Switch Addictions In recovery, we often say, "It's not the alcohol." The alcohol was the symptom. The deeper driver was emotional regulation, belonging, identity, safety. So when alcohol leaves… The system looks for another solution. Food is legal. Food is celebrated. Food is socially rewarded. And our culture makes overeating normal — especially during stress or the holidays. So if you're sober and struggling with food? You're not failing. Your nervous system is trying to solve a problem. The Question That Changes Everything Ali offered one simple question that reframes the whole struggle: "Why does this make sense?" Instead of: "What's wrong with me?" Try: Why does this make sense? Why does it make sense that after a stressful day, I want sugar? Why does it make sense that when I feel unseen, I want to eat? Why does it make sense that when I feel alone, I crave something soothing? That question moves you from shame to compassion. And compassion is where change actually begins. Practical Action Steps Here are 5 ways to start applying this immediately: 1. Run the Food Memory Exercise Journal two columns: A positive food memory. A difficult food moment. Ask: Where was belonging present? Where was it missing? 2. Ask "Why Does This Make Sense?" Every time you feel out of control around food this week, pause and ask that question. No fixing. No rules. Just curiosity. 3. Delay the Behavior by 5 Minutes Not to restrict — but to observe. What am I feeling right now? Lonely? Overstimulated? Unappreciated? 4. Expand Your Definition of Fun If you've tied indulgence to being "the fun one," ask: What else feels fun to me now? Rest? Deep conversation? Leaving early? Going to bed proud? 5. Create One Small Belonging Ritual Call someone. Go to a meeting. Text a friend. Sit on the porch instead of isolating. Food is often replacing connection. Replace it back. Resources Ali Shapiro's assessment + programs: 👉 https://trucewithfood.com Ali's Podcast (Insatiable → rebranding to Truce With Food) Concept: Functional Medicine (root cause vs symptom treatment) If you're sober and struggling privately, consider: Talking to your sponsor Sharing honestly at a meeting Exploring nervous system work Joining a recovery-focused coaching container Guest Website: 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes! Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast
    Más Menos
    Aún no se conoce
  • 419 Sobriety, Service & Success: Rebuilding Life After Addiction

    419 Sobriety, Service & Success: Rebuilding Life After Addiction
    Feb 26 2026
    The Best Worst Thing That Ever Happened A conversation on sobriety, entrepreneurship, and rebuilding a life that actually works There's a certain kind of person who can build something from nothing. They're driven. Intense. Creative. Restless. They work hard. They push. They win. And sometimes… they self-destruct. In this conversation, Tim shares what it looked like to be both a high-achieving entrepreneur and a blackout drinker—and how recovery didn't just save his life, it reshaped his ambition, identity, and purpose. This isn't a story about "before and after." It's a story about learning how to live differently. The drive started early Tim began drinking in middle school after his parents divorced and he moved to a new town. Trying to fit in quickly became the gateway to alcohol and drugs. At the same time, he was already wired for achievement. In college, he launched a painting business, hired teams, ran sales and marketing, and made real money—while partying just as hard. That "work hard, play hard" rhythm followed him into adulthood. Success grew. So did the consequences. A devastating drunk-driving crash left him with a traumatic brain injury and months of recovery. Even then, he didn't stop drinking—he just learned how to drink harder and longer. If anything, achievement became another way to avoid looking at what was really happening. High performance can hide a lot Tim went on to build businesses, lead teams, and outperform expectations. But behind the scenes: drugs escalated relationships deteriorated burnout intensified drinking became non-negotiable He describes always being "the most messed up person at every event," even while breaking performance records. That's the part people don't talk about. Addiction doesn't always look like collapse. Sometimes it looks like productivity. The moment everything broke The turning point came after a blackout weekend that ended his marriage. It wasn't just one mistake—it was the undeniable accumulation of years of denial. Within days, he attended his first AA meeting. He hadn't planned a recovery journey. He just knew his life couldn't keep going like that. He started going to meetings every day. Sometimes two a day. He got a sponsor, worked the steps, and immersed himself in service. That structure became his lifeline. Recovery didn't shrink his life—it expanded it One of the biggest myths about sobriety is that it takes things away. For Tim, it gave him: community purpose emotional connection clarity direction He learned to build intimacy with other people without substances. He learned to cry, share honestly, and ask for help. He learned that vulnerability wasn't weakness—it was relief. And slowly, ambition changed shape. Instead of chasing validation, he started building a life rooted in service and meaning. Today, he works in recovery, supports others, and still channels his drive—but with balance and intention. The routines that keep him grounded Recovery isn't a single decision. It's a daily structure. Tim's core practices include: morning prayer and meditation gratitude lists exercise and physical health journaling and learning service and community time with people who support his growth He describes gratitude as essential: "If I'm grateful, then I'm not a victim." Exercise, too, became foundational—not just for fitness, but for mental and emotional stability. He calls it part of his "solution," not just a habit. The entrepreneurial paradox There's a pattern many high performers recognize: intense focus extreme discipline relentless drive These traits build companies. But without awareness, they also: fuel burnout mask emotional pain replace one addiction with another Recovery didn't remove Tim's intensity. It taught him how to channel it without destroying himself. Balance became the new metric—not output. Action Steps: What you can take from this conversation You don't need to be in addiction to benefit from recovery principles. These are life principles. 1) Build a grounding morning routine Start simple: gratitude stillness reflection Consistency matters more than complexity. 2) Replace extremes with consistency You don't need heroic bursts of effort. You need steady, repeatable actions. 3) Notice where achievement becomes avoidance Ask yourself: Am I building… or escaping? Am I creating… or distracting? 4) Find your people Recovery happens in connection. Whether it's: 12-step meetings coaching groups fitness communities spiritual spaces Isolation keeps people stuck. 5) Anchor your life in service Helping others stabilizes your own growth. It creates meaning that performance alone never will. Resources Mentioned Books The Four Agreements — Don Miguel Ruiz Living Untethered — Michael Singer Practices AA / 12-step community meditation + gratitude routines exercise for mental regulation yoga and breathwork cold exposure ...
    Más Menos
    50 m
  • 418 Burnout, Identity & the "Respectable Addiction" of Work

    418 Burnout, Identity & the "Respectable Addiction" of Work
    Feb 19 2026
    The Respectable Addiction: When Work Becomes the Coping Mechanism A reflection on burnout, identity, and recovery — plus practical action steps There's an addiction we rarely talk about because it looks like ambition. It earns praise. Promotions. Respect. It hides behind phrases like "driven," "productive," and "hard-working." But for many high achievers, work isn't just effort — it's a coping mechanism. In this episode, Dawn shares her story of a "workaholic blackout" — the moment she realized work had become her drug. After years of recovery from substances, she found herself caught in a new cycle: overwork, anxiety, identity tied to productivity, and eventual burnout. At one point, she drove home from work and had no memory of the drive. That was the moment everything shifted. What followed was a diagnosis of extreme burnout and a realization that she wasn't just "busy" — she was addicted to working. When Work Stops Being Healthy One of the most powerful distinctions Dawn shared is this: Working hard doesn't make someone a workaholic. External pressure doesn't equal addiction. Workaholism comes from the inside. It's marked by: An internal compulsion to keep working Self-worth tied to productivity Constant thoughts about work Anxiety or guilt when not working Difficulty detaching — even during rest You can meet deadlines, put in long hours, and still be healthy. But when work becomes how you manage fear, grief, identity, or anxiety — it shifts from effort to escape. Burnout Isn't Just Exhaustion Burnout isn't just being tired. It's a full-system collapse: Physical Emotional Mental Spiritual For many high performers, burnout mirrors an addiction "bottom." You keep pushing… until your system can't. And then something breaks. Relationships suffer. Health declines. Meaning fades. And the work that once energized you begins to feel like pressure, obligation, or proof of worth. The Cultural Trap Our culture celebrates overworking. We glorify: Hustle Sacrifice Endless productivity "Grinding" for success But we rarely talk about the cost: Anxiety Family strain Loss of identity outside work Chronic stress Emotional detachment Workaholism is often called "the respectable addiction" because it looks admirable from the outside. Until it doesn't. Recovery Isn't About Quitting Work Unlike substances, you can't abstain from work. Recovery is about boundaries, awareness, and redefining your relationship to productivity. Dawn shared practices that helped her rebuild balance: Under-scheduling instead of over-planning Creating "top lines" (healthy behaviors to commit to) Creating "bottom lines" (behaviors to avoid) Protecting time for joy, relationships, and rest Spiritual grounding and daily reflection Detaching self-worth from output It's less about doing less — and more about working from a different place. Not fear. Not "not enough." Not urgency. But intention. Action Steps: Rebuilding a Healthy Relationship With Work If this episode resonated, here are simple starting points. 1) Notice the fuel behind your productivity Ask yourself: Am I working from joy… or fear? Is this aligned… or avoidance? Am I creating… or proving? 2) Separate urgency from importance Not everything urgent is important. And not everything important feels urgent. Pause before reacting. 3) Identify your "bottom lines" Examples: No work after a certain hour No phone during family time No checking email first thing in the morning 4) Define your "top lines" Healthy commitments like: Movement Hydration Connection Rest Creative time 5) Schedule spaciousness Recovery often begins with: Fewer commitments Fewer calls Fewer goals at once Space allows clarity. 6) Detach identity from productivity Practice this reframe: "I am enough — with or without what I produce today." 7) Watch for the "self-care productivity trap" Even healing can become another project. Self-care isn't something to optimize. It's something to experience. Reflection Prompts Where is my self-worth tied to achievement? What am I avoiding by staying busy? When do I feel most at peace — and why? What would "enough" look like today? Resources Mentioned Workaholics Anonymous literature and tools Journaling and recovery reflection practices Byron Katie's "The Work" inquiry process Anxiety and habit research (Dr. Judson Brewer) Recovery communities and peer support spaces (Referenced from episode transcript) Final Thought You don't have to burn out to change your relationship with work. You don't have to earn rest. You don't have to prove your worth. You don't have to run on fear. There is another way to work — one rooted in clarity, presence, and enoughness. And it starts with one honest question: What's really driving me right now? Guest Contact Info: 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free ...
    Más Menos
    59 m