In this episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Dr Carole Gilling-Smith, Medical Director of The Agora Clinic and Trustee of Fertility Action, to talk about family building within the LGBTQ+ community.

If you are part of the LGBTQ+ community and thinking about becoming a parent, or you love someone who is, this episode is a practical starting point. We talk about treatment pathways, donor conception, fertility preservation, NHS inequality, and how to make sure you are supported properly by a clinic that understands your needs.

This is about education, empowerment and knowing your options.

What we cover in this episode

1. Why fertility equality on the NHS is still not where it should be
2. The postcode lottery affecting IVF funding
3. Why three full IVF cycles should be the national standard
4. The additional financial barriers faced by same sex couples
5. Why six self funded IUIs before NHS eligibility is deeply problematic
6. The risks of sourcing donor sperm online
7. Choosing between known donors and donor banks
8. How clinics should approach inclusive paperwork and language
9. Why pronouns and preferred names matter in clinical settings
10. Shared motherhood and reciprocal IVF
11. Fertility testing for both partners before deciding who carries
12. Supporting gay male couples through complex pathways involving egg donation and surrogacy
13. Working with the trans community around fertility preservation
14. Preserving sperm or eggs before starting hormone treatment
15. The emotional impact of genetic connection and non biological parenting
16. Why counselling is essential before treatment begins
17. Supporting patients who fear internal examinations or surgical environments
18. Creating clinic spaces that feel safe, calm and inclusive

About Dr Carole Gilling-Smith

Dr Carole Gilling-Smith is the Medical Director of The Agora Clinic, one of the UK’s leading fertility clinics for the LGBTQ+ community, based in Brighton and Hove.

She is also a founding Trustee of Fertility Action, the UK charity campaigning for fertility equality and better access to treatment.

Carole has been a long standing advocate for:

1. Equal NHS funding for fertility treatment
2. Inclusive fertility care for LGBTQ+ patients
3. Fertility education in schools and universities

In this deeply emotional episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Catherine Cousins, author of Just One Child, to talk honestly about secondary infertility, failed IVF cycles, mental health, grief, and what it means to come to terms with building a family with one child when that was not the plan.

This conversation was not an easy one to prepare for or to record. Catherine shares her story with such openness, including her experience of a cancer diagnosis within her family, IVF after having a child naturally, a mental health breakdown following a failed cycle, and the long road towards acceptance.

If you are currently in treatment, living with secondary infertility, or facing decisions about stopping treatment, this episode may resonate deeply. We talk about grief that is often unseen, the isolation that comes with this experience, and why it is so rarely spoken about.

If this is not the right time for you to listen, please come back when you feel ready.

What we discuss in this episode:

1. What secondary infertility can look like when you already have a child
2. How a cancer diagnosis changed Catherine’s fertility journey overnight
3. IVF after having a child naturally and the emotional complexity that brings
4. The mental health impact of failed cycles and untreated grief
5. Why many people do not feel able to talk about secondary infertility
6. Shame, isolation, and feeling undeserving of support because you have a child
7. How grief can exist for the family you imagined but could not have
8. The strain fertility treatment can place on relationships
9. Deciding when to stop treatment and how hard that decision can be
10. Marking the end of treatment and finding closure in your own way
11. Parenting while grieving and the guilt that can come with it
12. Navigating comments, questions, and assumptions from others
13. Reframing the narrative around being a family with one child
14. Finding acceptance without pretending it does not still hurt

About Catherine and her book

Catherine Cousins is the author of Just One Child, a powerful and compassionate book about secondary infertility, loss, and redefining family when further treatment is not possible or no longer feels right.

Her book explores the emotional, social, and psychological impact of coming to terms with having one child when you hoped for more, and gives voice to an experience that is often overlooked.

You can find Catherine and her work here:

1. Just One Child on Amazon

Sex and intimacy can change dramatically when you are trying to conceive, especially when fertility treatment, loss or ongoing uncertainty is part of your life. In this episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Kate Moyle, psychosexual therapist, podcaster and author of The Science of Sex, to talk about how sex, desire, relationships and connection can evolve in ways we never expected when fertility becomes part of our story.

This episode touches on loss, grief and confusion. If you are not ready for that right now, please skip and come back when you are ready.

Kate brings both professional insight and compassionate understanding to one of the most normal yet least discussed parts of many people’s experience. We talk about timing, pressure, anxiety, loss, connection, expectation and how to rebuild joy and pleasure in your relationship.

Whether you are in a long term partnership, thinking about future intimacy, or trying to untangle the impact that fertility has had on your sex life, this conversation is full of practical insight and reassurance that you are not alone.

What we discuss in this episode:

1. Why sex often feels different when fertility issues are part of your life
2. How timing and pressure can change desire and connection
3. Why we often feel there is something wrong with us when intimacy changes
4. The impact of miscarriage, loss and medical trauma on sex and relationships
5. How shame and silence make it harder to ask for help
6. Reclaiming touch and connection beyond the fertility goal
7. How fertility challenges affect male partners and masculinity
8. How to bring pleasure and ease back into sex after it has become stressful
9. Why rebuilding intimacy is a process and not a quick fix

Kate Moyle is a UK based psychosexual therapist, author and public speaker whose work helps people understand sex and intimacy through a biological, psychological and social perspective. She is the author of The Science of Sex, a neutral, accessible guide to sex and sexuality designed for all bodies.

You can find Kate’s work here:

1. The Science of Sex (book) – available from major retailers and online booksellers
2. The Science of Sex podcast – listen wherever you get podcasts
3. Website

Kate’s approach is grounded in research, lived experience and curiosity. This episode is one of the most honest and compassionate conversations we have had about sex and fertility on the podcast.

Thank you to our sponors:

This episode is supported by partners who help people access care and clarity on their fertility journey.

👉

Trying to conceive can be incredibly isolating, especially when your friends and family just do not get it. That is why I loved this conversation with Sarah Banks, fertility coach, speaker, author, and creator of the Positivity Planner.

Sarah’s work is all about helping you feel more emotionally supported through treatment. She also has years of experience working with clinics on patient support strategies, so she sees both sides: what patients need, and what is still missing in the system.

We talked about why fertility coaching can be such a powerful complement to medical treatment, how to navigate the emotional rollercoaster of TTC, and how to protect your mental wellbeing, even when things do not go as planned.

What we discuss in this episode:

1. The power of coaching and how it can support people emotionally through treatment
2. How Sarah’s own journey inspired her work in fertility and patient experience
3. What fertility clinics are doing (and not doing) to better support patients
4. Coping with anxiety, stress, and overwhelm while TTC
5. Strategies for building resilience and staying hopeful
6. Tips for advocating for yourself in appointments and with providers
7. The Positivity Planner and how journaling can support your mental wellbeing
8. The importance of community, connection, and being heard
9. What Sarah wishes everyone struggling with infertility knew

If you are feeling like you have no one to talk to, or like you are supposed to just keep going while your heart is breaking, this one is for you.

This episode is sponsored by Access Fertility

Worried about the financial pressure of treatment? Access Fertility offers funding programmes and 0% interest finance to help ease the burden of self-funding IVF.

Their services include:

1. Loans of up to £12,000 with no interest over 12 months
2. Multi-cycle packages that can save you up to 30%
3. Refund programmes offering up to 100% back if treatment is unsuccessful
4. Partnerships with over 60 top clinics in the UK
5. Personalised advice based on your age and treatment plan

Visit accessfertility.com/thefp to learn more.

Learn more about Sarah’s work:

1. Positivity Planners
2. sarahbanks.coach

Let’s keep the conversation going:

In this episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Jen Elworthy, fertility career coach and Director of Engagement at Fertility Matters at Work, to explore how career coaching can support you while going through fertility treatment.

Jen joined our team in July 2025, and since then I’ve had the joy of learning from her insight, empathy and real-world experience. She has lived through the impact of ectopic pregnancy and miscarriage while working in high-pressure environments, and she shares how these experiences shaped her approach to coaching.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your job because of your treatment, uncertain how to talk to work, or unable to see a career path that aligns with what you’re going through, this episode is for you.

What we discuss in this episode:

1. Jen’s personal fertility journey, including multiple losses and the emotional toll on her mental health and career
2. How she moved from ambitious and confident to experiencing panic attacks at work
3. The challenges of opening up to colleagues and managers during early treatment
4. The power of having just one supportive person at work who gets it
5. Her IVF survival kit and practical tips for managing during a workday
6. Why “career coaching” isn’t just for high-flyers or executives
7. Examples of how she’s helped clients through job changes, promotions, sabbaticals, and re-aligning their work-life balance
8. Her approach to resilience coaching and “bounce back ability” during treatment
9. Why therapy helped her heal, but coaching helped her move forward
10. Misconceptions about who coaching is for, and why it can be more accessible than you think
11. How Jen structured her coaching offers to meet people at different financial entry points

Jen’s support offerings include:

1. One-to-one coaching (short-term or long-term packages)
2. One-off coaching conversations
3. Employer-sponsored coaching (some clients have had it covered as part of redundancy packages)
4. Low-cost workshops (around £20–£25)
5. Free resources and templates on her website
6. Free newsletter + insights via LinkedIn and Instagram

If you're considering career coaching but aren't sure it's “for you”, this is your reminder that it’s absolutely okay to ask for help, and there are options at every level.

This episode is sponsored by Access Fertility

Worried about the financial pressure of treatment? Access Fertility offers funding programmes and 0% interest finance to help ease the burden of self-funding IVF.

Their services include:

In this episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Catherine Lightfoot, ADHD coach and founder of Rewired Circles, to talk about her experience of navigating IVF as a neurodivergent person.

Catherine was working in a senior HR role while undergoing fertility treatment and dealing with the mental load of a delayed ADHD diagnosis. She joins me to talk about the emotional toll of masking, the challenges of advocating for yourself in a system that does not always recognise neurodivergence, and the importance of creating support spaces that actually meet people where they are.

This is our first episode covering neurodivergence and fertility, and I want to thank Catherine for bringing this conversation forward. If you suspect you may be neurodivergent, or if you’ve been struggling to articulate how this process is affecting you, I hope this episode offers support and language for what you might be feeling.

1. Catherine’s delayed ADHD diagnosis and how it overlapped with her fertility journey
2. Why she and her partner opted for early fertility testing and how a surprise male factor diagnosis shifted everything
3. The emotional whiplash of having a clear process derailed by COVID delays
4. How hyperfocus, masking, and people-pleasing made it harder to ask for help
5. Overworking and pretending everything was fine while secretly undergoing injections and treatment
6. The moment she realised she could not cope alone anymore
7. What IVF felt like as a neurodivergent person and why it is easy to become overwhelmed and disconnected
8. The challenge of advocating for yourself when you are not sure what your needs are
9. The risks of masking and burnout in high-pressure jobs while going through treatment
10. Her reflections on memory loss, dysregulation, and why she misremembered the number of cycles she had
11. Why support groups are powerful but may not be the right fit for everyone at every stage
12. How Catherine’s coaching and lived experience helped her move from burnout to self-awareness
13. The shocking mental health statistics for women with ADHD and why fertility support needs to evolve
14. Why the fertility and neurodivergent overlap is an urgent area of focus for workplaces and support providers
15. Her top advice for anyone navigating fertility and ADHD, especially in silence

So many of us keep it all in. We wait until it gets really bad before we share anything. But Catherine reminds us that asking for help does not need to be dramatic or all-encompassing. You can start small. Tell one trusted colleague at work. Let one friend know. Give someone permission to be your backup or just your quiet support.

If you are masking and managing everything...

In this episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Hayley King, donor-conceived adult, mum of donor-conceived twins, and Operations Manager at Path to Parenthub. We’re talking about the story that made headlines last December, a sperm donor with a genetic mutation linked to cancer being used in nearly 200 conceptions across 14 countries.

This episode unpacks how this could happen, the gaps in donor regulation that allow it, and what this means for families. We also talk about the emotional, ethical, and logistical challenges of donor conception in a globalised industry, where the same donor can be used across borders with no international limits in place.

Hayley brings both personal and professional insight into how families can make informed choices, why early disclosure matters, and what changes are urgently needed to protect the next generation.

If you’re on a donor conception path or supporting someone who is, this conversation is essential listening.

1. Hayley’s experience growing up as a donor-conceived person, and what shifted when she became a parent herself
2. Why early disclosure matters and how secrecy shaped the mental health of donor-conceived people in the past
3. The UK’s 10-family donor limit and why it does not apply outside the UK
4. How one donor can be used in multiple countries with no tracking or shared system
5. The story of one donor linked to a BRCA1 cancer gene being used in nearly 200 conceptions
6. What “family limits” really mean and why they are difficult to enforce globally
7. The emotional weight of discovering you have 50 or even 100 donor siblings
8. How sperm banks and clinics are often driven by profit rather than transparency
9. What questions prospective parents can ask their clinic or sperm bank
10. Why Path to Parent Hub was created as a safe space for donor conception families
11. Hayley’s advice for parents, donors, and donor-conceived adults navigating identity and connection

While advances in genetic screening are helpful, they are not foolproof. The issue is not just medical, it is ethical. Donors should not be used to create hundreds of families across continents.

Without international family limits or shared tracking systems, donor-conceived people may unknowingly share genetics with a vast number of people worldwide. This impacts their sense of self, their safety in relationships, and their ability to connect the dots in their identity.

As Hayley says, transparency matters. Families deserve accurate information and regulated systems that put people over profit.

1. Follow me on Instagram: @fertilitypoddy

Happy New Year - hope you're enjoying the bright sunshine we have in Manchester as we wait to see if it snows!

You've survived the festive season and hopefully you're starting the new year in a peaceful place, despite the possibilityof there being a lot to consider in your year ahead. I hope the podcast continues to stay in your earholes and supports you along the way.

If you're yet to subscribe, please do so, wherever you have found this episode as it makes a real difference. Plus, feel free to leave a review each time you listen as I love hearing your thoughts.

Natalie x