We all know how hard you have to work to sit down and write. You'll do pretty much anything to avoid it. Have you ever noticed, though, that avoiding your writing is no less exhausting than just bloody doing it? Weird, right? Well, actually, not weird - at least, not when you understand how hard your poor, anxious brain is having to work to trick you into getting your words down. You care deeply about your writing - that's why you're so worried about getting it right. Yet, lots of the most well-known writing advice focuses on convincing you not to care so much about it. So, there you are, doing your best, trying to believe both that your writing is very important and that it's not important at all. Maybe that strategy is working for you, in which case, I am cheering for you. But if it's not, hit play and let your imperfect friend hand-hold you through what to try instead.

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Are you frustrated with yourself because you just can't get on with the work you care most about? Do you find it easier to make progress with emails and marking than to get your writing done? Is your procrastination out of control? Are you just unbelievably lazy?

Take a pause, my friend. There's a reason why you struggle to make progress on the important things, and it's not what you think. Tasks like writing are complicated, and require a ton of decision-making in order to make progress. That's exhausting, but it becomes impossible if you refuse to recognise that it's necessary. The result is that you end up prioritising those less important tasks but easy-to-complete tasks.

Don't worry, though: help is at hand. Join The Academic Imperfectionist for a sneak peek at what's throwing you off course, and how to fix it.

References

Danziger S, Levav J, Avnaim-Pesso L. Extraneous factors in judicial decisions. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2011 Apr 26;108(17):6889-92. doi: 10.1073/pnas.1018033108. Epub 2011 Apr 11. PMID: 21482790; PMCID: PMC3084045.

Pignatiello GA, Martin RJ, Hickman RL Jr. Decision fatigue: A conceptual analysis. J Health Psychol. 2020 Jan;25(1):123-135. doi: 10.1177/1359105318763510. Epub 2018 Mar 23. PMID: 29569950; PMCID: PMC6119549.

Schwartz B, Ward A, Monterosso J, Lyubomirsky S, White K, Lehman DR. Maximizing versus satisficing: happiness is a matter of choice. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2002 Nov;83(5):1178-97. doi: 10.1037//0022-3514.83.5.1178. PMID: 12416921.

Is it bad to be called lazy? Prince Harry thinks so: in his memoir, he suggests that it's better to called racist than lazy. But even if you wouldn't go that far, I'm willing to bet that you care deeply about not being viewed as lazy. Perhaps you've worked when you should have taken a sick day, said yes to things that you knew were a bad idea, or pushed yourself to burnout - all to avoid the L word.

If you've ever thought you might be lazy, you're in great company. Plenty of high achievers think of themselves as lazy. People like Barack Obama and Stephen Fry. Is it possible to work hard and still be lazy? Were Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs lazy because they wore the same outfits every day? Are cats lazy? Is laziness the same thing as inactivity? And what is laziness, anyway?

Professor Katrien Devolder has been pondering all these questions, and more. She's convinced that, in many cases, what looks like laziness is in fact justified effort management: the completely reasonable direction of our time and energy to what's most important. In other cases, what looks like laziness is genuine difficulty getting things done resulting from neurodiversity, illness, or disability. And sometimes, ascriptions of laziness are plain old prejudice. Katrien swung by Imperfectionist Towers to show you why laziness is much more complicated than you thought.

Katrien Devolder is Professor of Applied Ethics and Director of Public Philosophy at Uehiro Oxford Institute, University of Oxford. She's the mastermind behind Project Lazy, an interdisciplinary project that combines academic research and community engagement to clarify what laziness is and challenge harmful assumptions about productivity.

Be honest. You're here because you think you completely suck at self-control, aren't you? You're constantly disappointing yourself, and it's getting you down. The people around you seem to be able to get on with things - but you find it impossible, for some reason. And, by 'for some reason', you mean 'because I'm a terrible person'.

Help is at hand, my beautifully flawed friend. You've been hoodwinked about self-control. It's likely that you're actually much better at it than you think, and that the reason you think you're terrible at it is because you're taking an overly narrow view of what it is and what it's used for. What's more, self-control isn't simply a matter of willpower, and it's not all in the head. It's much bigger than that, and if you struggle with it, it might be for social and political reasons.

Here to spill the beans about self-control is Polaris Koi, Assistant Professor of Practical Philosophy at the University of Turku, Finland. He's spent years working to understand the very human experience of trying and failing to get ourselves to do the things we want to be doing. He's an interdisciplinary research who focuses on human agency, decision-making, and cognitive diversity. He's also the founder of Ronroo, a psychoeducation app that offers easy-to-reach support for people with self-control and executive functioning difficulties.

You know what frailty is, and you definitely want to avoid it. But have you heard of emotional frailty? No, of course not - I've just made it up. But if you've ever felt like you're completely winning at life, and then some tiny little setback knocks you sideways, leaving you wondering what's wrong with you and why you suddenly can't cope, emotional frailty is to blame. Emotional frailty is invisible, it's dangerous - and often, the culture around us encourages us to do exactly the sorts of things that exacerbate it. It's time to fight back. Your Imperfectionist friend is here to show you how.

Find the Wheel of Life exercise here.

You're a good person. You try to be a good friend, a good colleague, and a good neighbour. You care about other people, you pull your weight, and you don't let anyone down. But, sometimes, you feel you're not enough. You're exhausted, but taking time for yourself means doing wrong by somebody else. You feel like you need to destroy yourself just to avoid being a bad person.

If this sounds familiar, you're not crazy or inadequate. The problem is that you've constructed a moral framework that unfairly burdens you, and you don't even realise, because on the surface it looks like you're following completely plausible moral principles. But don't worry: help is at hand! Your Imperfectionist friend here is going to show you what's gone wrong and how to fix it.

What comes to mind when you think about willpower? Discipline? Self-denial? Overcoming your weak, useless, lazy self? Exhausting, right? Thankfully, there's another way, and this episode's guest is here to take you there. Dr Dana Klisanin is a psychologist and one of Forbes's 50 leading female futurists. She's a researcher, an author, an artist, a TEDx speaker, and the founder of ReWilding: Lab, where she explores the untapped potential of human-nature connection to improve health and wellbeing, and to help us live more sustainably. She sat down with me to talk about how a fulfilling life needn't involve fighting and winning against our natural inclinations, and why thinking of ourselves as part of the natural world can make us happier, stronger, and more resilient.

Read Dana's article in Psychology Today, 'What if we've misunderstood willpower all along?'

Pre-order Dana's latest book, The Art of Wild Willpower: Nature-Based Invitations for Ritual, Reflection, and Reconnection.

Dana's recent TEDx talk, 'Rewilding the mind: The most endangered habitat is inside us', will soon be published here.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your willingness to say nice things about yourself? How about your willingness to point out your own failures and shortcomings? If the first number you came up with is higher than the second, then move along, my friend - this episode can do nothing for you. Gather round, the rest of you. You've been taught all your life that modesty and humility are virtues. But, would you know if your self-deprecation had gone too far? Could your toxic humility be holding you back? And if it is, so what? Better that than being arrogant, right?!

Oh dear, friend. What a mess. But don't worry. Your Imperfectionist friend is here to show how you can do some healthy cheerleading for yourself without turning into a boasty monster. Settle down for the final episode of 2025, and prepare to end it with a smile on your face!

Contact The Academic Imperfectionist here, or via Bluesky, Facebook, or Medium.

Read Emma Beddington's article about toxic humility here.