Episodes

  • The Autism Community Is Hurting: Why We Have to Talk About Family Mental Health

    The Autism Community Is Hurting: Why We Have to Talk About Family Mental Health
    Feb 6 2026

    Hey, What's Up! It's Tommy.

    On today’s episode of Spectrum in Camouflage, my wife Kaylee joins me and we talk about two sides of this life at the same time. The wins that are giving us real hope right now, and the heavy current events that have shaken the autism community.

    We start with what’s been going well. Wyatt has been more regulated lately, we’ve seen encouraging “soft signs” of progress, and our home has felt calmer. We also talk about what’s helped, including chiropractic-based nervous system care at Maximum Potential, paying attention to screen time, and pushing ourselves to get outside even when winter in Ohio is brutal.

    Then we shift into the harder part. We talk about the real fear many autism parents carry, what happens when families feel isolated and unsupported, and why stories of caregiver despair and tragic outcomes should not be ignored or brushed aside. Kaylee shares the deep weight of “who will care for my child when I’m gone,” and we both talk about why community, support, and showing up for one another matters so much.

    We also share what’s helped us stay grounded: staying in the moment, guarding the stories we tell ourselves, leaning on faith, and keeping our marriage strong. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, we want you to hear this clearly, you are not alone.

    Key Takeaways
    • Small progress is still progress. The “soft signs” matter, like Wyatt signing more, shaking his head “no,” and negotiating in simple ways.
    • Nervous system regulation is a real focus for our family. We share how scans and regular adjustments at Maximum Potential have been part of Wyatt’s routine.
    • Screen time can change everything. Too much can push dysregulation, and a hard reset can lead to a calmer day.
    • Winter affects mental health more than people admit. Getting outside, even for a short time, can break the cycle and help everyone.
    • Date night doesn’t have to be fancy. A walk, yard work, or sitting together without interruptions still counts.
    • Many autism families are carrying heavy fear and isolation. We need more awareness, more support, and more people willing to show up.
    • Faith and mental strength matter. Peace, perspective, and staying present can keep you from spiraling into the future.
    • Be relentless in love. If you want to support a special needs family, don’t wait for them to call, take the uncomfortable step and check in.

    If this episode hit home for you, please share it with another parent, friend, church group, or anyone who needs hope and perspective. Sharing the show helps it reach the people who need it most. Visit spectrumincamouflage.com for more.

    Email me anytime at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com.

    Follow Us!
    • We’re on TikTok: tiktok.com/@spectrum_in_camouflage
    • Join our Facebook Group: facebook.com/groups/4002769846662357
    • See us on Instagram: instagram.com/spectrum_in_camouflage

    Together, we can create a community to support autistic kids and their families. If you have questions or ideas or want to share your journey, email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com.

    Let’s learn, grow, and make a difference, one step, one piece of the puzzle, one child at a time.
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    1 hr and 11 mins
  • Chris from AutismDad_Memes, They’re Listening, Apraxia and Spelling to Communicate

    Chris from AutismDad_Memes, They’re Listening, Apraxia and Spelling to Communicate
    Jan 30 2026

    Hey, What's Up! It's Tommy.

    Today I’m hanging out with Chris, aka AutismDad_Memes, and this episode is one of those real-deal dad conversations that hits you in the chest a few times. Chris and I are both construction guys, both raising one neurotypical kid and one autistic kid, and we talk about what it’s like trying to hold it together, show up for our families, and still find ways to help other parents who are barely hanging on.

    Chris shares why he started using social media in the first place, even though he didn’t grow up on MySpace or Facebook like a lot of people did. He talks openly about recovery, service work, and how that “helping others” mindset shifted from 12-step rooms to special needs families. We also get into the mental health side of all this, including the heavy stuff, the stuff that makes you realize how close some parents are to the edge, and why dads need to talk more instead of swallowing everything until it wrecks them.

    The biggest topic, though, is Spelling to Communicate (S2C) and letterboard communication. Chris explains how they discovered it, why they drove to Florida to get help, and how it completely changed what they believed their daughter was capable of. We also get into apraxia and the brain-body disconnect, and how that one shift can change the way you talk to your child, teach your child, and respect what’s really going on inside them.

    This one is funny in parts, raw in parts, and honestly hopeful the whole way through.

    Key Takeaways

    • Dads need community too.

    Moms talk and share, dads tend to lock it down. That has to change.

    • Mental health is not optional.

    If we are not okay as parents, it spills into everything our kids need from us.

    • They’re in there.

    Autistic kids hear, understand, and feel far more than many people assume.

    • Stop the baby talk and the “they’re not here” talk.

    Talking around kids like they’re not present is disrespectful and damaging.

    • Apraxia and brain-body disconnect can change everything.

    A child not responding does not automatically mean they don’t understand.

    • S2C and letterboards are a real option for some kids.

    It’s not a magic wand, it’s a process that takes time and motor-building work.

    • Not every therapy is trash, and not every professional is wrong.

    Some are amazing, some are misinformed, and some are harmful. Parents have to stay alert.

    • Small moments matter.

    A simple “hi” from a kid in a restaurant can stick with you forever, because it feels like pure humanity.

    Visit spectrumincamouflage.com to listen to all episodes and keep up with what we’re doing.

    Chris on Instagram and TikTok: AutismDad_Memes

    Contact: tommy@spectrumincamouflage.comWebsite: spectrumincamouflage.com

    • We’re on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@spectrum_in_camouflage

    • Join our Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/4002769846662357

    • See us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/spectrum_in_camouflage/

    Together, we can create a community to support autistic kids and their families.

    Let’s learn, grow, and make a difference, one step, one piece of the puzzle, one child at a time.
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    1 hr and 17 mins
  • Tommy and Kailee Get Real: Speaking in Puerto Rico, 40 Days Without Alcohol, A Mom’s Honest Reset

    Tommy and Kailee Get Real: Speaking in Puerto Rico, 40 Days Without Alcohol, A Mom’s Honest Reset
    Jan 23 2026

    Hey, What's Up! It's Tommy.

    In this episode of Spectrum in Camouflage, my wife Kailee and I sit down for a real, late-night conversation about a recent trip I took to Puerto Rico to speak at an event. We talk about what it was like to travel alone, speak in front of a big crowd, and stay sober through an environment where drinking is usually the normal thing.

    We also get honest about what was happening back home while I was gone. Kailee shares how she was feeling, what was weighing on her emotionally, and a couple changes that helped her start feeling like herself again. We talk about parenting stress, the pressure to hold it together, routines that help, and the reminder that you never really know what someone else is carrying.

    By the end, we land on a simple message that matters a lot to us right now: be kind, because the person in front of you might be fighting a battle you cannot see.

    Key Takeaways
    • Sobriety can bring clarity you did not realize you were missing. I share how alcohol was feeding my anxiety, not helping it, and how sobriety has changed my mindset, emotions, and presence.
    • Big moments feel different when you are fully clear. Speaking to 200 to 250 people felt huge, but I had surprisingly low anxiety, and I truly believe God had His hand in that whole trip.
    • You are not the only one living this life. I was blown away by how many people came up to share their own autism stories, fears, and family struggles, including people I have known in business for years.
    • Kailee’s reminder for parents: your struggle might not even be about your kids. It might be exhaustion, isolation, hormones, stress, or feeling like you never get time alone.
    • Caffeine and constant grinding can wreck your nervous system. Kailee realized she was taking in around 1,000 mg of caffeine a day, and cutting back made a noticeable difference.
    • Food freedom matters. Tracking macros can help some people, but for others it can trigger restriction and guilt. Finding what works for your mental health matters.
    • Kindness is not small. Being the kind person in a stranger’s day might be the thing that helps them keep going.

    If you know a parent who feels alone right now, please share this episode with them. A simple share can be the difference between someone feeling isolated and someone feeling supported.

    Visit spectrumincamouflage.com
    Email tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com

    Follow Us!
    • We’re on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@spectrum_in_camouflage
    • Join our Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/4002769846662357
    • See us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/spectrum_in_camouflage/

    Together, we can create a community to support autistic kids and their families.
    If you have questions or ideas or want to share your journey, email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com.

    Let’s learn, grow, and make a difference, one step, one piece of the puzzle, one child at a time.
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    48 mins
  • With Kailee: Real Life Pressure, and Small Wins Matter

    With Kailee: Real Life Pressure, and Small Wins Matter
    Jan 16 2026

    Hey, What’s Up! It’s Tommy. Kailee and I are sitting down to recap the holidays and talk through what really happened behind the scenes, Christmas, New Year’s, family visits, routines getting shaken up, and the emotional weight that can come with all of it when you’re parenting a child with profound autism.

    This year was a big one for us. We did something we haven’t done in a long time, we hit multiple family stops in one day. That might sound normal to some people, but for us, it’s a whole different level of planning, nerves, and “what if” thoughts. The good news, it went really well, and it reminded us that progress is real, even when it feels slow.

    We also talk about a big change I made, I took a break from alcohol for the first time in a very long time, and doing that during the holidays came with some unexpected mental fog, stress, and emotional swings. On top of that, Kailee’s been dealing with hormonal shifts, and we got real about what it looks like to give each other grace when both people are struggling at the same time.

    We get into Wyatt’s recent scans and why we’re encouraged. His core score improved, his energy numbers jumped big, and we’re increasing the frequency of appointments because the new method seems to be helping. We also talk about what we’re learning about sugar, screens, routines, and why “small wins” are not small at all.

    This episode is basically a reminder that progress takes time, the holidays can feel like a pressure cooker, and you are not alone if you feel relieved when it’s over.

    Key Takeaways
    • Holidays can be stressful for any family, but autism adds more variables and more pressure.
    • A supportive village matters, especially when family understands food triggers and flexibility.
    • Some progress looks small, like waiting calmly in a waiting room, but it’s actually huge.
    • Giving your spouse grace is not optional, it’s survival, especially during stressful seasons.
    • Screens and sugar can create big behavior swings, and cutting back can help a lot.
    • Wyatt’s scan improvements were encouraging, especially the jump in his overall score and energy.
    • Consistency builds momentum, even when it feels boring or slow.
    • Maintenance can be mentally tough, because you don’t feel like you’re chasing a big goal.
    • You can stack wins one day at a time, and then realize weeks have passed and growth happened.
    • It’s okay to feel grateful the day went well and still feel relieved it’s done.

    If this episode hit home, share it with someone who needs to hear they’re not alone. One share can make a difference for a family that feels isolated right now. If you’ve got questions about scans, chiropractic care, routines, diet, or anything we talked about, email me. We want to talk about what you’re dealing with too.

    Visit spectrumincamouflage.com for more episodes and updates. Email: tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com\ Website: spectrumincamouflage.com

    Follow Us!

    • We’re on TikTok : https://www.tiktok.com/@spectrum_in_camouflage

    • Join our Facebook Group : https://www.facebook.com/groups/4002769846662357

    • See us on Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/spectrum_in_camouflage/

    Together, we can create a community to support autistic kids and their families.

    If you have questions or ideas or want to share your journey, email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com.

    Let’s learn, grow, and make a difference, one step, one piece of the puzzle, one child at a time.
    Show more Show less
    44 mins
  • With Dr. Matt Hamilton: Perfect Storm Part 2, How the Nervous System Rebuilds After Regression

    With Dr. Matt Hamilton: Perfect Storm Part 2, How the Nervous System Rebuilds After Regression
    Jan 9 2026
    Hey, What's Up! It’s Tommy. Welcome back to Part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Matt Hamilton from Maximum Potential Chiropractic. If Part 1 opened the door to the idea of the “Perfect Storm,” this episode walks you deeper into how the nervous system actually develops, how regression can happen, and why healing often looks messy before it looks miraculous. We talked about real kids, real families, and real progress. Things like a child making eye contact and saying “I love you” for the first time. Kids who were told they would never speak now using communication devices. Kids who could never swim suddenly swimming, hugging mom and dad, and recognizing what their bodies can do. We spent a lot of time breaking down how the brain develops from the bottom up, starting with the brainstem and vagus nerve, then moving into motor skills, immune function, social awareness, emotional regulation, and eventually speech and higher cognition. For me as a dad, this hit hard, because I can clearly see where Wyatt’s regression happened and why rebuilding takes time. We talked honestly about hope without false promises, healing versus masking, and why progress is not a straight line. Sometimes kids calm right down after an adjustment. Sometimes they get dysregulated. That doesn’t mean it’s failing. It often means the nervous system is waking up and reorganizing. Dr. Matt also explained the importance of neurological scans, not guessing, not just talking about the nervous system, but actually measuring it. We covered dyskinesia, disafferentation, dysautonomia, and how those show up on scans like posture, surface EMG, thermal imaging, and HRV. What stood out most to me was this idea: miracles don’t always look like sudden speech. Sometimes miracles are peace in the home, no more eloping, fewer meltdowns, better sleep, or a kid who can finally sit in a waiting room. Those moments matter. This episode is about patience, perspective, and community. It’s about dads admitting stress, moms trusting their gut, and families realizing they are not alone in this storm. Key Takeaways Neurodevelopment builds from the bottom up, brainstem first, then motor, immune, social, emotional, and finally speech and cognition.Regression often happens when early nervous system stress never fully resolved.Healing is possible even later in life, but it takes more time when development was disrupted early.The vagus nerve plays a major role in regulation, digestion, immunity, emotional control, and communication.Progress is not linear, sometimes kids look worse before they look better.Dysregulation after care does not always mean failure, it can be part of healing.Measuring the nervous system matters, scans provide accountability and direction.Parent burnout is real, seeing objective progress helps families keep going.Miracles often show up as functional wins, peace, safety, and connection.Community and reflection help families see how far they’ve already come. If this episode brought up questions, emotions, or curiosity, I want to hear from you. Email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com or visit spectrumincamouflage.com. Share this episode with another parent who feels stuck or overwhelmed. These conversations matter, and the more we talk about them, the more hope we spread. Contact Information: Website: spectrumincamouflage.com Email: tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com Dr. Matt’s office: mpchiro.com Office email: info@mpchiro.com Follow Us! We’re on TikTok : tiktok.com/@spectrum_in_camouflage- Join our Facebook Group : facebook.com/groups/4002769846662357- See us on Instagram : instagram.com/spectrum_in_camouflage Together, we can create a community to support autistic kids and their families. If you have questions or ideas or want to share your journey, email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com. Let’s learn, grow, and make a difference, one step, one piece of the puzzle, one child at a time.
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    51 mins
  • With Dr. Matt Hamilton: The Perfect Storm Behind Autism, What Many Parents Miss Until It’s Too Late

    With Dr. Matt Hamilton: The Perfect Storm Behind Autism, What Many Parents Miss Until It’s Too Late
    Jan 2 2026
    Hey, What's Up! It's Tommy. I’m super stoked because I sat down with Dr. Matt Hamilton from Maximum Potential Chiropractic, and we kicked off a longer, science-heavy conversation about neurologically focused chiropractic care and something they call “The Perfect Storm.” This episode is Part 1, and I’m splitting it up so the ending is going to feel like a hard stop. That’s on purpose, because I want you to be able to actually absorb this stuff without your brain melting. We started by talking about my son, Wyatt, and what Dr. Matt is seeing in his scans right now, including heart rate variability (HRV), autonomic nervous system changes (dysautonomia), and a stubborn mid-thoracic area that can affect digestion, detoxing, and overall energy. From a dad perspective, I love that they don’t just guess. They track progress with real numbers, then adjust the plan when things stall. Dr. Matt also explained how their team can change “levers” in care, timing, where they adjust, and the technique they use, and how that can change the proprioceptive input and help the nervous system wake up and regulate better. Then we moved into the big idea: the “Perfect Storm” is often hiding in plain sight, like a “moonwalking bear.” It’s usually not one single thing. It’s more like layers that stack up over time, fertility stress, stressful pregnancy, birth trauma or intervention (C-section, induction, forceps, vacuum, cord issues, epidurals), plus early medical and pharmaceutical exposure. Dr. Matt connected this to vagus nerve development, regulation, and why so many kids struggle with sleep, digestion, immune issues, motor planning, sensory challenges, and speech. We also talked about how parents carry a ton of stress too, and how getting out of fight-or-flight matters, for our kids and for us. I even shared a simple thing that helped me calm down fast: laying on my back and putting my legs up on the wall for five minutes. Sounds silly, works great. If you’re new to this topic, take your time with it. Nothing about this is instant. It’s a process. We’ve been in care for two years, and I’m still learning. I’m sharing it because I know families need more options, more hope, and more support. This is part 1 of 2 of my conversation with Dr. Matt. Key Takeaways Dr. Matt says every child has their own “storm,” so care plans should be personal, not cookie-cutter.HRV and clinical scans can help show progress, not just feelings or guesswork.The “Perfect Storm” pattern often includes pregnancy stress, birth intervention, and early medical stress on the nervous system.Vagus nerve function matters for regulation, sleep, digestion, immunity, movement, and even speech development.“They’ll grow out of it” can be a dangerous mindset if early symptoms are warning signs of bigger issues later.Medication can change chemistry short-term, but parents still deserve a plan that supports long-term development.Progress takes time. Months, sometimes years, especially when the nervous system got pushed off course early.Community matters. Parents need people around them who bring grace, support, and real help.Parents need to stay well too. Anxiety is real, and getting regulated helps the whole family.The best time to act is early, but it’s never too late to start building a better path. If this episode hit home and you’ve got questions, send them to me. I want to turn your questions into future episodes, and I also want families to feel less alone. Visit spectrumincamouflage.com, and email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com. Share the show with a parent who needs more hope and more options, and please subscribe wherever you listen. Contact Information Website: spectrumincamouflage.com Email: tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com Dr. Matt’s office: mpchiro.com Office email: info@mpchiro.com Follow Us! We’re on TikTok: tiktok.com/@spectrum_in_camouflageJoin our Facebook Group: facebook.com/groups/4002769846662357See us on Instagram: instagram.com/spectrum_in_camouflage Together, we can create a community to support autistic kids and their families. If you have questions or ideas or want to share your journey, email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com. Let’s learn, grow, and make a difference, one step, one piece of the puzzle, one child at a time.
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    54 mins
  • Post-Christmas Encouragement and A Reminder of What's Important

    Post-Christmas Encouragement and A Reminder of What's Important
    Dec 26 2025

    Hey, What’s Up! It’s Tommy.

    This is a short, post-Christmas encouragement for every parent who feels tired, stretched thin, or quietly overwhelmed after the holidays. Christmas can bring joy, but it can also bring stress, comparison, and emotional whiplash, especially for families raising autistic children or navigating special needs. In this episode, I want to remind you of something simple but powerful. As long as your kids have you, they have everything they need. And as long as you have your kids, you have everything you need.

    We talk about family pressure, holiday expectations, and the temptation to compare our lives to the perfect pictures we see online. I share a mindset that has stuck with me, that every day we are given two things, a chance and a choice. If you opened your eyes today, you already have your chance. What you do next is your choice.

    As we move out of Christmas and toward a new year, this episode is about resetting your focus. It’s about remembering your role as a parent, leaning into your marriage as a team, choosing gratitude, and finding renewed hope through faith in Jesus Christ. This is not about perfection. It’s about presence, perseverance, and showing up for the people who matter most.

    Key Takeaways
    • Your presence matters more than any gift or perfect holiday moment
    • Comparison steals joy, focus on your own family and your own race
    • Stress rises during the holidays, teamwork in marriage matters more than ever
    • Every day offers a chance and a choice, how you respond sets the tone
    • Faith provides steady hope when life feels heavy or chaotic
    • Your kids don’t need perfect parents, they need consistent love
    • Gratitude and intention can reset even the hardest days

    If this episode encouraged you, please share it with another parent who might need a reminder that they are doing enough. Your support helps this message reach families who feel alone.

    Visit spectrumincamouflage.com\ Email me anytime at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com

    • We’re on TikTok : tiktok.com/@spectrum_in_camouflage

    • Join our Facebook Group : facebook.com/groups/4002769846662357

    • See us on Instagram : instagram.com/spectrum_in_camouflage

    Together, we can create a community to support autistic kids and their families.\ If you have questions, ideas, or want to share your journey, email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com.

    Let’s learn, grow, and make a difference, one step, one piece of the puzzle, one child at a time.
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    8 mins
  • With Kailee: Christmas With an Autistic Child, Lower the Pressure, Keep the Meaning

    With Kailee: Christmas With an Autistic Child, Lower the Pressure, Keep the Meaning
    Dec 19 2025

    Hey, What's Up! It's Tommy.

    It’s the Friday before Christmas, and Kailee and I wanted to talk honestly about what the holidays can feel like in a home like ours, the good moments, the hard moments, and everything in between. We share how Wyatt has had some high-stimulation days lately, how a good chiropractic appointment and a calm day can feel like a huge win, and how we’ve learned to stop forcing “normal” holiday expectations. We talk about getting our Christmas tree as a family, keeping things short when we need to, and letting Wyatt be comfortable even if that means he’s nearby but not involved in every tradition. Kailee also shares something big, sometimes you just need to feel your feelings, even if it looks like a “pity party” for a day. We close out with what we want you to hear most, you’re not alone, it’s okay if the holidays bring extra pressure, and Christmas is about connection, memories, and for us, keeping the birth of Christ at the center.

    Key Takeaways
    • It’s okay to feel sad, overwhelmed, or frustrated during the holidays, you can feel the “yuck” and still find joy.
    • Some seasons require shorter outings and earlier exits, that is not failure, that is wisdom.
    • You don’t have to force traditions, if your child is comfortable nearby, that still counts as being together.
    • The holidays can trigger overstimulation and sleep issues, and it can hit harder than other times of the year.
    • Christmas does not have to look like social media, your calm, connected moments matter.
    • Parents can accidentally turn on each other under stress, naming that helps you stay on the same team.
    • It helps to shift the goal from “perfect” to “peace,” and from “stuff” to “connection.”
    • For our family, Christmas is about memories, and most importantly, the birth of Jesus.

    If this episode hit home, share it with another parent who might need to hear it. And if you’re listening right now feeling worn down, give yourself a little grace this week.

    Contact Information
    Visit spectrumincamouflage.com
    Email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com

    Follow Us!
    • We’re on TikTok: tiktok.com/@spectrum_in_camouflage
    • Join our Facebook Group: facebook.com/groups/4002769846662357
    • See us on Instagram: instagram.com/spectrum_in_camouflage/

    Together, we can create a community to support autistic kids and their families. If you have questions or ideas or want to share your journey, email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com.

    Let’s learn, grow, and make a difference, one step, one piece of the puzzle, one child at a time.
    Show more Show less
    44 mins