Hey, What's Up! It's Tommy.

It’s the Friday before Christmas, and Kailee and I wanted to talk honestly about what the holidays can feel like in a home like ours, the good moments, the hard moments, and everything in between. We share how Wyatt has had some high-stimulation days lately, how a good chiropractic appointment and a calm day can feel like a huge win, and how we’ve learned to stop forcing “normal” holiday expectations. We talk about getting our Christmas tree as a family, keeping things short when we need to, and letting Wyatt be comfortable even if that means he’s nearby but not involved in every tradition. Kailee also shares something big, sometimes you just need to feel your feelings, even if it looks like a “pity party” for a day. We close out with what we want you to hear most, you’re not alone, it’s okay if the holidays bring extra pressure, and Christmas is about connection, memories, and for us, keeping the birth of Christ at the center.

• It’s okay to feel sad, overwhelmed, or frustrated during the holidays, you can feel the “yuck” and still find joy.
• Some seasons require shorter outings and earlier exits, that is not failure, that is wisdom.
• You don’t have to force traditions, if your child is comfortable nearby, that still counts as being together.
• The holidays can trigger overstimulation and sleep issues, and it can hit harder than other times of the year.
• Christmas does not have to look like social media, your calm, connected moments matter.
• Parents can accidentally turn on each other under stress, naming that helps you stay on the same team.
• It helps to shift the goal from “perfect” to “peace,” and from “stuff” to “connection.”
• For our family, Christmas is about memories, and most importantly, the birth of Jesus.

If this episode hit home, share it with another parent who might need to hear it. And if you’re listening right now feeling worn down, give yourself a little grace this week.

Contact Information
Visit spectrumincamouflage.com
Email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com

• We’re on TikTok: tiktok.com/@spectrum_in_camouflage
• Join our Facebook Group: facebook.com/groups/4002769846662357
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Together, we can create a community to support autistic kids and their families. If you have questions or ideas or want to share your journey, email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com.

Let’s learn, grow, and make a difference, one step, one piece of the puzzle, one child at a time.

Hey, What's Up! It's Tommy. In this episode of Spectrum in Camouflage, I talk about some huge changes coming out of the CDC around the hepatitis B vaccine for newborns, what that means to us as autism and special needs families, and how I am learning to sit beside grief instead of living inside it. I share my own struggle with survivor’s guilt after losing a firefighter brother in our town, the weight of looking back at early vaccine decisions for Wyatt, and how all of this ties into mental strength, faith, and the way we keep showing up as parents, spouses, and caregivers in the middle of hard news and heavy feelings.

• Community matters more than ever, especially for autism and special needs families who feel like they are walking this road alone.
• We talk about the CDC’s recent vote to stop giving the hepatitis B vaccine in the first 24 hours of life, and why that hits so close to home for me as Wyatt’s dad.
• I share how our story lines up with Jenny McCarthy’s experience and why so many parents feel a mix of vindication, anger, sadness, and relief as more autism-related information comes out.
• Mental health for parents is really about mental strength, learning to feel our emotions fully, then shifting instead of stuffing everything down.
• My coach Steve’s advice, “feel the emotion and then let yourself shift,” has helped me work through survivor’s guilt, medical regret, and the hard parts of our autism journey.
• We dig into how to “sit beside” the struggle, not inside it, so we can still show up for our kids, our spouse, our work, our churches, and our communities.
• There is a growing movement around autism, vaccine timing, Tylenol use, glutathione, and big players like Pfizer and the CDC, and I encourage you to research, ask questions, and protect your kids with both faith and knowledge.
• Moms of kids with special needs are some of the strongest humans on earth, and they deserve real community, real support, and friends who check in when the news and the holidays feel heavy.

• We’re on TikTok: tiktok.com/@spectrum_in_camouflage
• Join our Facebook Group: facebook.com/groups/4002769846662357
• See us on Instagram: instagram.com/spectrum_in_camouflage

Together, we can create a community to support autistic kids and their families. Let’s learn, grow, and make a difference, one step, one piece of the puzzle, one child at a time.

Hey, What's Up! It's Tommy.

In this episode of Spectrum in Camouflage, I sit down with my wife, Kailee, to talk about my recent Kentucky hunting trip, how it tested our anxiety after a tough year, and what it showed us about where Wyatt is right now as a non-speaking autistic child. We walk through what it felt like for me to leave, how Kailee held things down at home, how our two Great Pyrenees puppies pushed our whole family to spend more time outside, and what happened when we finally turned off Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and changed Wyatt’s environment. We talk about dysregulation, co-regulation, sleep struggles, the mental health side of special needs parenting, and the small risks that led to big wins for our whole family, including Jesse. If you are an autism parent who feels stuck, tired, or scared to change anything that “kinda works,” this one is for you.

• Healthy hobbies like hunting or chess can actually make parents more present at home, because they force you to prepare well, reset, then come back ready to show up for your family.
• After a really hard season with grief, anxiety, and medical setbacks, this Kentucky trip became a test for both of us, and it reminded us that we really are getting stronger.
• Wyatt had a long stretch of being very dysregulated, especially around TV, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and the remote, and it started to feel scary and hopeless again.
• There is a real difference between true happiness and dysregulation that looks “happy” on the outside, and parents usually feel that difference in their gut.
• When we finally shut off Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and held the line, Wyatt made a huge 180: more present, more playful, more connected, and way less destructive noise and behavior.
• Breaking his old screen loops, including the Kindle, opened the door to new interests like Frosty the Snowman, toys he had ignored, and more creative play, just like any other kid.
• Co regulation is real: when we are exhausted, hopeless, and under slept, our kids feel it, and when we change the environment and our energy, it helps them settle too.
• Our Great Pyrenees pups brought structure, protection, and a reason to get outside every day, which helped both us and the kids with stress and overstimulation.
• Every person in the house matters, including neurotypical siblings and parents, and sometimes what is best for the autistic child is also what is best for the whole family.
• Small risks, like canceling a big trip or turning off a “safe” show, can feel terrifying, yet they can be the doorway to progress, peace, and a more hopeful autism home.

If you heard yourself in this conversation, I want to invite you to look around your home and pick one thing to change in your child’s environment this week. It might be a show, a toy, a schedule, or even your own hobby that you have refused to pick back up. Give yourself permission to take a small risk and see what opens up for your autistic child, for your other kids, and for your own mental health.

If you want to talk more about this, or you need encouragement around autism, co regulation, or your own health and fitness as a caregiver, email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com or visit spectrumincamouflage.com to find all the episodes and links to my social media. Kailee and I are also partnering as First Form Legionnaires, so if you are a parent or caregiver who wants to get healthier in the middle of all this, reach out and we will walk that road with you.

• We’re on TikTok: tiktok.com/@spectrum_in_camouflage
• Join our Facebook Group: facebook.com/groups/4002769846662357
• See us on Instagram: instagram.com/spectrum_in_camouflage

Together, we can create a community to support autistic kids and their families. Let’s learn, grow, and make a difference, one step, one piece of the puzzle, one child at a time.