When you’re talking to Bakari Sellers about fatherhood, you’re talking to a man who truly is a link between generations. As the son of a famous Civil Rights activist who befriended the likes of Stokely Carmichael and Martin Luther King, Jr., Sellers feels the weight of expectations from his ancestors and his community. And as the father of two young twins, he feels the pressure of helping ensure the world is better for them than it ever was for him.

But what happens when that pressure sometimes feels like too much? And what happens when, despite all the work he and his father have done to make it so, he simply can’t tell his kids everything will be okay? On this episode of Paternal, Sellers discusses why he sees his life as an extension of his father’s journey, how he copes with anxiety, his relationship to anger, and why he thinks the U.S. has reached a nadir after George Floyd’s death failed to produce a racial reckoning so many expected.

Sellers is a political commentator for CNN and a former state legislator from South Carolina, as well as the author of the new book The Moment, which is available now wherever you buy books.

Episode Timestamps:

00:00 - 07:40 - Introduction

07:40 - 10:15 - Lessons from his father

10:15 - 16:00 - dealing with the pressure of a famous father

16:00 - 19:26 - handling pressure from the Black community and dealing with anxiety

19:26 - 24:20 - on generational changes among poiliticians and activists

24:20 - 27:35 - channeling anger and realizing the world might not be okay for our kids

27:35 - 29:50 - on lessons we teach our kids, and a sense of resignation

29:50 - end credits

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If you were a child of the 1980s and early 1990s, you lived through a golden age for sitcom dads. From The Cosby Show to Growing Pains and Roseanne to The Simpsons, fathers of all kinds ruled the airwaves for roughly a decade, providing an entire generation of wide-eyed kids a glimpse into what a father should look like and, for better or worse, what a family can be. But did these portrayals of paternal figures do more harm than good, and how did Friends and Seinfeld land a fatal blow to the fate of sitcom dads?

Comedy historian and author Saul Austerlitz joins this episode of Paternal to take a deep dive on the history of the family sitcom, tracing the genre’s roots back to the dawn of television. He discusses how fathers were first portrayed in the 1950s and how they have evolved during each decade thereafter, including iconic sitcom dads on Leave it to Beaver, All in the Family, The Cosby Show, Married With Children, Roseanne, and The Simpsons.

Austerlitz is a faculty member at NYU who teaches courses on writing about American comedy and writing about television drama, and he’s the author of six books, including on the history of sitcoms and the success of the hit series Friends. He recently wrote an article in The Atlantic entitled “Dad Culture Has Nothing to Do With Parenting.”

Episode Timestamps:

00:00 - 06:56 - Intro

06:56 - 10:33 - The perils of the “dad perjorative” and the connection to sitcoms

10:33 - 15:12 - Sitcom dads in the 1950s and 1960s

15:12 - 21:18 - Discussing Archie Bunker, “All in the Family,” and 70s family sitcoms

23:16 - 28:28 - The success of “The Cosby Show”

28:28 - 32:22 - The rise of the 1980s Superdad

32:22 - 36:12 - “Roseanne” breaks the mold

36:12 - 42:49 - The alternative dads on “Married With Children” and “The Simpsons”

42:49 - 46:25 - The 1990s demise of the family sitcom

46:25 - 48:42 - “Blackish” and dads on modern-day sitcoms

48:42 - 51:40 - What we lose without family sitcoms

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Paternal listeners email the show regularly with requests to cover various topics on the show. Some are serious and some are silly, but one request just keeps coming: How do we teach our kids resilience? Dr. Dennis S. Charney is a leading expert in the study of resilience and has spent decades examining the causes of anxiety, fear and depression. He’s also interviewed prisoners of war, victims of rape and assault, survivors of natural disasters, and frontline healthcare workers about the traits that have helped them overcome trauma, all in an effort to better understand how we can all learn to be more resilient.

On this episode of Paternal, Dr. Charney discusses some of the most compelling factors to building resilience in yourself and your kids, including facing your fears, developing social groups, and establishing core values for you and your family. He also recounts a life-threatening experience that tested his own resilience, decades after living a charmed life studying the challenges of others. Dr. Charney is the co-author of Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges.

Episode Timestamps:

00:00 - 05.30 - Introduction

05:30 - 07:59 - A life-threatening test of resilience

07:59 - 13:27 - Defining resilience and studying trauma victims

13:27 - 18:00 - On facing your fears

18:00 - 19:50 - On the values of optimism

19:50 - 22:15 - On developing social groups and the connection to resilience

22:15 - 24:18 - Discussing the value of role models

24:18 - 28:05 - On identifying your core beliefs, values and family history

28:05 - 29:46 - Discussing the connection between gratitude and resilience

29:46 - 32:15 - On what parents get wrong when they think about teaching kids resilience

Read The Transcript For This Episode