Episodios

  • 215. Are we accidentally teaching kids to stay afraid?

    215. Are we accidentally teaching kids to stay afraid?
    Nov 18 2025

    This week, Dr. Caroline unpacks one of the most misunderstood parts of emotion regulation: Why avoidance keeps anxiety alive and how real-world experience rewires the emotional brain.

    She explains how children’s brains constantly make predictions about safety, danger, and comfort and how avoidance traps them in cycles of fear. Using clear metaphors like the feeling tunnel and the prediction error, Dr. Caroline shows how growth only happens when kids face uncomfortable emotions long enough for their brains to learn something new.

    This episode is a must-listen for anyone who want to help kids build resilience, emotional flexibility, and distress tolerance through practice, not protection.

    🎧 Experience teaches the brain it can handle more than it fears.


    Homework Ideas


    Map the Avoidance Loop

    Have kids write down situations they avoid (tests, sleepovers, speaking in class). Note what relief they feel after avoiding and how that pattern repeats. Awareness is step one.


    Prediction Journal

    Before a challenging event, ask: “What do you think will happen?”

    Afterward: “What actually happened?”

    Compare their predictions with outcomes to build realistic expectations.


    Build Micro-Exposure Moments

    Start small — ordering food, saying hi to a neighbour, or raising a hand in class. Celebrate effort, not comfort.


    Self-Check for Adults

    Notice when you rescue too quickly. Ask yourself: “Am I helping them build resilience or just helping myself feel less anxious?”

    Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh


    Follow Dr. Caroline

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

    IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

    LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

    X: https://x.com/drcarolinebuz

    Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

    Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resources

    Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/


    Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
    Más Menos
    38 m
  • 214. How can we help kids reflect instead of explode?

    214. How can we help kids reflect instead of explode?
    Nov 11 2025
    How do kids learn to think about their emotions instead of being swept away by them? In this episode, Dr. Caroline breaks down strategic emotion management, helping children and teens build emotional metacognition, the ability to reflect on and make sense of what they feel.You’ll learn how to guide kids to pause, question, and evaluate their emotions: What is this feeling trying to tell me? Is it helping or hurting me right now? Dr. Caroline shares practical strategies for teaching emotional literacy, building resilience, and creating space for reflection instead of reaction. She also offers real-life examples, from angry teens to overwhelmed kids, showing how adults can coach emotional awareness at any age. This episode includes simple tools, reflective questions, and step-by-step ways to strengthen emotional awareness and decision-making skills.Key topics: emotional literacy, metacognition, cognitive reappraisal, resilience, co-regulation, reflective parenting, and emotional intelligence in youth.Homework IdeasPractice Helpful ResponsesThe next time you or a child feel a strong emotion, pause and ask:What is this emotion trying to tell me?Is this emotion helpful right now?What can I do that aligns with my goals and values?Model this reflective thinking out loud with the child.Focus on curiosity over correction — “Huh, I wonder what my anger’s protecting right now.”Co-Regulation Practice!When kids are upset, start with validation only.Say “It sounds like you had a tough day.” Then pause.Once they’re calm, guide reflection with open-ended questions. Emotion Journal or ChartWrite or draw feelings, what happened, what they thought, and what the emotion might be saying.For younger kids: use colours or pictures.For teens: include reflection prompts like “Was my reaction helpful?” Emotion Decoder Match emotions to their possible messages (e.g., anger → unfairness; sadness → loss or care).Available in Dr. Caroline’s Emotional Literacy Book Scaling ExerciseRate emotions from 1–10 and discuss how the intensity changes when the situation is reappraised to build perspective and reduce emotional overwhelm. Resources Mentioned:The Emotional Literacy Book (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy)Coddling of the American Mind by Jonathan Haidt (for adults exploring emotional reasoning) Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/X: https://x.com/drcarolinebuzWebsite: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resourcesBusiness inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
    Más Menos
    27 m
  • 213. What does mental wellness really look like for kids and their parents?

    213. What does mental wellness really look like for kids and their parents?
    Oct 28 2025
    What does mental wellness really mean, and how do we teach it to kids and teens when the adults around them are stretched thin? In this episode, Dr. Caroline sits down with licensed clinical social worker MJ Murray Vachon, who brings nearly 40 years of experience working with adolescents, families, and midlife adults.MJ shares the two mental wellness definitions that guide her work, how Dr. Dan Siegel’s “river of calm” helps us understand chaos and rigidity, and why adults’ emotions are contagious for kids. You’ll hear stories from classrooms, families, and even Notre Dame athletes that highlight the everyday ways mental health is shaped by modeling, connection, and self-regulation.Listeners will walk away with practical tools like the FACES model, NESTS for self-care, and playful strategies that keep mental wellness accessible for kids and adults alike. This conversation is a reminder that children can’t be healthier than the adults raising or teaching them—and small steps in our own wellness ripple out to every child we support.Homework IdeasCheck your own state firstEach day, pause and ask: Am I calm, chaotic, or rigid?Use a grounding practice (deep breaths, stretch, short walk) before engaging with kids.Create a “Glimmer List”Write 5 small, free things that bring you joy (music, a walk, a funny show).Do one daily and encourage your child to make their own list.Practice NESTS Self-CareNutrition: regular balanced meals.Exercise: daily movement.Sleep: aim for consistent bedtimes.Technology: set limits that support rest and focus.Stress skills: model a simple coping strategy (breathwork, journaling, quiet time).Model Validation + BoundariesAcknowledge feelings: “I hear you. This is hard.”Don’t over-explain—hold space, then guide with calm presence.About MJWith more than 50,000 hours of clinical sessions, I’ve spent nearly four decades helping people navigate anxiety, stress, and life transitions with practical, science-backed skills. I’m the creator of Inner Challenge, a mental wellness program launched in 1993 and taught for 21 years in junior highs and even with Notre Dame Football, equipping teens and athletes with coping strategies to boost resilience. As host of Creating Midlife Calm, chosen by Maria Shriver as her “Listen of the Week,” I weave stories and evidence-based tools into actionable practices listeners can use right away. My work always comes back to this: real-life coping skills that are simple, doable, and effective. I started the podcast Creating Midlife Calm because I know the parents of teens are the key to helping them develop the mental wellness that will carry them through adolescence and into adulthood.Get in touchInstagram: @vachonmjmurrayFacebook: MJ Murray Vachon LCSWWebsite: mjmurrayvachon.comEnjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/X: https://x.com/drcarolinebuzWebsite: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resourcesBusiness inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
    Más Menos
    41 m
  • 212. What if kids could outsmart their anxious thoughts?

    212. What if kids could outsmart their anxious thoughts?
    Oct 21 2025

    Kids don’t just feel emotions—they also create stories about what those emotions mean. In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline focuses on cognitive appraisal and emotional metacognition.


    You’ll learn how children interpret events, how automatic “henchmen thoughts” fuel anxiety and meltdowns, and why teaching kids to appraise situations differently can build resilience. From detective games to thought logs to chain breakers, this episode is packed with playful, practical tools to help kids spot unhelpful thinking traps, reframe them, and act in ways that reflect their values.


    This conversation will help you guide them beyond “just breathe” into truly flexible, values-based thinking.


    Homework Ideas

    • Emotion Detective Game: Use clues (body signs, thoughts, triggers) to uncover what an emotion is trying to say. Ask, “Is this thought a clue or a trick?”
    • Thought–Feeling–Action Chart: 4 columns — What happened? / What did I think? / What did I feel/do? / What else could I think or do?
    • Comic Strip Appraisals: Kids draw a situation, then fill in thought bubbles and alternative thoughts. This makes invisible thinking visible.
    • Matching Cards: Mix “Event,” “Thought,” and “Emotion” cards. Kids match different combos to see how thoughts change feelings.
    • Chain Breakers: Practice interrupting automatic thought → behavior loops with alternative responses (“When I feel ____, I will try ____”).
    • Values Journal: Teens list what matters to them, then reflect: “Did my response move me toward or away from my values?”


    Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh


    Follow Dr. Caroline

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

    IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

    LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

    X: https://x.com/drcarolinebuz

    Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

    Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resources

    Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/


    Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
    Más Menos
    49 m
  • 211. Are we rushing kids out of emotions they actually need?

    211. Are we rushing kids out of emotions they actually need?
    Oct 14 2025

    Kids don’t always slam doors or shout when emotions overwhelm them. Sometimes the signs are quieter—flat energy, withdrawal, or a heavy sadness that feels impossible to shift.


    In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline explores the “low-energy” emotions that often get misunderstood: loneliness, sadness, disappointment, boredom, confusion, embarrassment, regret, guilt, and shame.


    You’ll learn how each of these emotions sends a signal about a child’s deeper needs, why rushing to “cheer them up” backfires, and practical ways to respond with presence and connection. These quieter feelings carry just as much meaning as anger or anxiety. The goal isn’t to fix them—it’s to help kids feel safe enough to sit with them, learn from them, and eventually find their way through.


    Homework Ideas:

    • Create connection rituals: a bedtime check-in, a morning high-five, or weekly “just us” time.
    • Encourage journaling or drawing when kids feel any emotion. This gives emotions a safe outlet.
    • Use emotion coaching scripts:
    • “It makes sense you feel disappointed—this mattered to you.”
    • “Everyone makes mistakes. What can we learn from this one?”
    • “Boredom is your brain asking for something meaningful—what could you explore?”
    • Provide open-ended opportunities (art supplies, building materials, role play) to turn boredom into curiosity.
    • Model healthy shame repair: Share your own small mistakes, show how you recover, and affirm that worth is never on the line.


    🛠️ Be sure to grab the emotional literacy workbook https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy

    Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh


    Follow Dr. Caroline

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

    IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

    LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

    X: https://x.com/drcarolinebuz

    Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

    Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resources

    Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/


    Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
    Más Menos
    29 m
  • 210. How do we help kids handle big emotions with confidence?

    210. How do we help kids handle big emotions with confidence?
    Oct 7 2025
    In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline discusses the high-energy, often “unpleasant” emotions that kids struggle with — the stormy ones like anxiety, anger, frustration, and overwhelm.These emotions aren’t problems to fix or behaviours to shut down. They’re signals, calling for safety, connection, fairness, or skill support.Listen in to learn how to:Recognize behaviours as the tip of the iceberg — with deeper emotions underneathSupport kids in pausing before reacting, so they can ride the emotional wave without drowning in itTeach grounding, movement, and self-coaching tools that keep the self-regulating prefrontal cortex onlineReframe frustration, envy, and jealousy into opportunities for growth and resilienceUnderstand resentment as a warning of unspoken boundaries and unmet needsInstead of teaching kids to suppress or escape emotions, this episode shows how to help them tolerate, explore, and grow through them — building self-awareness, confidence, and lasting emotional resilience.“When we rush to fix a child’s emotion, we send the message that the feeling itself is unsafe. But when we sit with them — quietly, patiently, without solving — we teach that emotions are just part of being human. The goal isn’t to feel better right away. It’s to get better at feeling.”🛠️ Be sure to grab the emotional literacy workbook https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracyHomework IdeasPause Practice: Teach kids to notice a big feeling without reacting. Use phrases like: “Let’s let this feeling be here for a bit.”Frustration Flip: When kids feel stuck, guide them to ask: “What’s another way to try this?” Normalize frustration as a sign their brain is learning.Assertive Anger Scripts: Practice “I feel… when… I need…” statements to channel anger into boundary-setting instead of explosions.Overwhelm Sort: With schoolwork or chores, use a “must-do / can-wait / let-go” list to reduce overload.Jealousy Rituals: Create consistent 1:1 connection rituals to strengthen security and belonging.Resentment Reset: Teach kids (and model yourself) how to say no, set boundaries, and release built-up frustration with journaling or conversations.Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/X: https://x.com/drcarolinebuzWebsite: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resourcesBusiness inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
    Más Menos
    24 m
  • 209. How can excitement help kids learn—and when does it tip into chaos?

    209. How can excitement help kids learn—and when does it tip into chaos?
    Sep 30 2025

    In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline explores the often-overlooked role of pleasant emotions in self-regulation. From the high-energy buzz of excitement and joy to the quiet calm of contentment and gratitude, she unpacks what these feelings signal, the needs behind them, and how adults can guide children to channel them in healthy ways.


    Learn how excitement fuels motivation but can tip into dysregulation without support, why pride is a powerful pro-social emotion, and how gratitude and love deepen connection and resilience. Caroline shares practical strategies that help kids strengthen their emotional awareness and regulation skills.


    Learn actionable tools to nurture children’s motivation, curiosity, and sense of belonging while reinforcing the “rest stops” of calm and contentment that every child needs.


    Homework Ideas


    Help kids learn to:

    Channel excitement:

    • Use countdown calendars, planning rituals, or physical play to help kids release energy safely.
    • Redirect silliness into storytelling, drawing, or creative outlets.


    Savour Joy:

    • Pause in the moment and ask: What feels good right now?
    • Create joy rituals: end-of-day reflections, photo sharing, or a family “joy jar.”


    Reinforce Pride:

    • Offer descriptive praise focused on effort, not outcomes.
    • Help kids create a “brag book” or journal for proud moments.


    Cultivate Curiosity:

    • Model open-ended questions (“I wonder…”).
    • Provide exploration opportunities—STEM kits, nature walks, disassembling old gadgets.


    Anchor Calm & Contentment:

    • Build quiet, screen-free downtime into daily routines.
    • Use grounding practices (breathing, mindfulness, cozy snuggles, weighted blankets).


    Encourage Gratitude & Love:

    • End the day with “3 things I’m grateful for.”
    • Practice small acts of kindness—thank-you notes, hugs, or helping tasks.


    🛠️ Be sure to grab the emotional literacy workbook https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy

    Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh


    Follow Dr. Caroline

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

    IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

    LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

    X: https://x.com/drcarolinebuz

    Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

    Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resources

    Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/


    Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
    Más Menos
    24 m
  • 208. How can we help kids understand their own emotional map?

    208. How can we help kids understand their own emotional map?
    Sep 23 2025
    Decoding Emotions: Helping Kids Understand What They Feel—and WhyEmotions aren't problems. They're messages. And when we teach kids how to read them, we give them a powerful tool for self-regulation, resilience, and connection.In this episode, Dr. Caroline breaks down the difference between emotions and feelings, explore how the body and brain work together during intense emotional moments, and show you how to use tools like emotion mapping, quadrant models, and weather metaphors to build emotional awareness in kids and teens.You’ll learn:Why emotions are adaptive survival tools, not just meltdowns or moodsHow to help kids identify the root needs underneath big behavioursA breakdown of how to map emotional experiences with kidsWhy a child’s “defiance” may actually be a nervous system responsePlus, she introduces the four emotional quadrants (based on arousal and valence) and how to use this approach to tailor regulation strategies to what kids actually need—whether they’re storming, stuck, or shutting down.Be sure to get the emotional literacy workbook to get started!https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracyHomework Ideas:1. Emotion Mapping Have the child or teen walk through a recent emotional situation using the 6-part mapping model:Situation (e.g., “Struggling to finish a homework assignment”)Thoughts (e.g., “I’m so stupid,” “This is too hard”)Feelings (e.g., Frustrated, Anxious, Overwhelmed)Body Sensations (e.g., Tight chest, Shaky hands)Impulses (e.g., Slam the book, Avoid the task)Behaviours (e.g., Procrastinated, Gave up)Optional: Have them draw it out as a connected mind map to visualize the emotion cycle. Use arrows to show how one piece influenced another.2. Use Quadrant MappingIntroduce the Emotion Quadrants based on:High vs. Low Energy (Arousal)Pleasant vs. Unpleasant (Valence)Ask:“Where do you think you are in this chart right now?”Then match strategies to what they need:🌪 High energy, unpleasant = Movement or somatic tools🌧 Low energy, unpleasant = Connection or activation strategies3. Weather Mapping FeelingsAsk:“If your emotions were weather right now, what would they be?”Then map feelings onto different weather types:☀️ Sun = Joy, Calm🌧 Rain = Sadness, Grief🌪 Storm = Anger, Fear💨 Wind = Curiosity, Nervousness🌫 Fog = Confusion, OverwhelmHelps externalize emotions and destigmatize them as natural, necessary, and manageable. 4. Emotional Awareness Reflection PromptsWrite or talk about:“What did you feel in your body?”“What thoughts were going through your mind?”“What did you want to do—and what did you actually do?”“What emotion do you think was underneath it all?”“What did you need in that moment?”Helps increase emotional granularity, which improves regulation.Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/X: https://x.com/drcarolinebuzWebsite: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resourcesBusiness inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
    Más Menos
    28 m