Episodios

  • 228. Are We Accidentally Making Anxiety Worse by Reassuring?

    228. Are We Accidentally Making Anxiety Worse by Reassuring?
    Feb 17 2026

    Kids and teens don’t struggle because they feel anxious — they struggle because they believe they can’t handle uncertainty. In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline breaks down one of the most overlooked skills in anxiety treatment: learning how to sit with not knowing.


    Drawing from real clinical moments, classroom realities, and everyday parenting struggles, this episode walks through how reassurance, predictability, and “just checking” can quietly keep anxiety running the show. You’ll hear practical ways to help children stay in the moment even when outcomes feel scary — from separation anxiety and perfectionism to social worries and OCD.


    After listening to this episode, lleave with concrete ideas that actually work: behavioural experiments, playful practice, language shifts, and debrief questions that build confidence without chasing calm. This is an episode about raising brave kids who can move forward even when nothing feels guaranteed.


    Homework Ideas to Support Kids & Teens
    • Delay answers on purpose

    Acknowledge questions without providing certainty. Use: “That’s a good question — what do you think?”

    • Set short, clear uncertainty challenges

    Stay in a room for five minutes without checking. Wait before asking. Leave a question unanswered.

    • Use playful unknowns

    Mystery lunches, dice-decided choices, surprise plans, cliffhangers in stories or shows.

    • Practise language swaps
    • “I can handle not knowing yet.”
    • “I want to know, but I can wait.”
    • “This feels hard, and I’m okay.”
    • Debrief after every practice

    Ask about effort, not outcomes. What helped? What was harder than expected? What surprised you?


    Helpful resources:

    • Timer or visual countdown
    • Notebook or scrapbook for “I didn’t know, and I handled it” moments
    • Age-appropriate riddles or puzzles
    • List of values-based goals the child cares about



    Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh


    Follow Dr. Caroline

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

    IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

    LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

    Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

    Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

    Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/


    Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
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    19 m
  • 227. What If Emotional Regulation Starts With Discomfort, Not Comfort

    227. What If Emotional Regulation Starts With Discomfort, Not Comfort
    Feb 10 2026
    Big emotions don’t shrink by talking about them. They shrink through practice.In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline shares playful, practical distress-tolerance activities that help children and teens stay with discomfort without exploding, avoiding, or shutting down. From ice cube challenges to boredom practice, rule-changing games, and urge-surfing exercises, this episode shows how to train the brain to stay online when emotions spike. Designed for classrooms, therapy rooms, and families at home, these tools help kids learn that discomfort rises, shifts, and passes — and that they can handle it.Homework IdeasThese activities work best when adults join in. Keep them brief. Stay curious. Talk about what shows up.Ice Cube HoldHold an ice cube and notice the sensations as they change. The goal isn’t endurance — it’s staying present until it melts.Ask: “What did your body want to do?” “Did the feeling stay the same?”Silent Sound ChallengeSit quietly and listen for small sounds around you. Notice boredom, restlessness, or wandering thoughts without fixing them.Ask: “What showed up when things got quiet?” “What urge did you notice?”Sour Candy or Lemon BiteLet the sour hit. Stay with it as the intensity fades.Ask: “How long did the strongest part last?” “How is this like big emotions?”Still-as-a-StatueStay in one position and notice urges to move, scratch, or quit.Ask: “What urge was hardest to ignore?” “What happened when you didn’t act on it?”Itchy Nose / Ride the UrgeNotice an itch or urge without giving in. Watch it rise and pass.Ask: “Did the urge change over time?” “When else do urges feel like this?”Rule-Change GamesChange the rules halfway through a game and watch what comes up.Ask: “What feeling showed up when things changed?” “What helped you keep going?”Delayed Gratification PracticeWait between episodes, treats, or rewards. Sit with the wanting.Ask: “What did waiting feel like?” “What helped you handle it?”Urge TimerSet a short timer and sit with an urge without acting. Slowly increase time.Ask: “What helped you stay?” “What would you try again?”One Rule for All HomeworkKeep it short (3–5 minutes). Do it together. Always link it back:“What did you do here that could help next time something feels hard?”Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/ Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
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    18 m
  • 226. Distress Tolerance vs. Emotional Avoidance | What Works

    226. Distress Tolerance vs. Emotional Avoidance | What Works
    Feb 2 2026
    Are adults accidentally making anxiety stronger?In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline Buzanko explains why accommodation, reassurance, and avoidance — even when well-intentioned — keep kids stuck in fear. Drawing from clinical work and real-world examples, she shows why discomfort is where learning lives and why confidence grows only when kids stay in the situation.This episode is for parents, teachers, school teams, and clinicians who want children to tolerate frustration, build resilience, and trust themselves.You’ll hear:Why avoidance fuels anxietyHow reassurance backfiresWhy stopping accommodation matters more than teaching skillsWhat validation sounds like without reinforcing fearHow adults regulate themselves so kids can regulate too🎧 Free training mentioned in this episode:Avoiding Common Mistakes with Anxietyhttps://koru-learning-institute.thinkific.com/courses/avoidingcommonmistakeswithanxietyListen, share, and support kids in becoming brave.Homework Ideas for Adults Start small. One change at a time is enough.Practise emotional neutralityWhen a child is distressed, your first job is managing your own response. Neutral tone. Neutral body language. Calm breathing. Kids borrow your nervous system before they can use their own.Spot one accommodation to pause this weekPick a single behaviour you’ll stop adjusting around anxiety. Not everything — just one.Common places to look:answering repeated “are you sure?” questionschanging routines to avoid discomfortallowing avoidance of tests, presentations, or social situationsstaying with a child longer than needed to reduce anxietyoffering constant reassurance instead of confidenceValidate feelings without discussing outcomesName the emotion and stop there. No fixing. No convincing. No explaining. Short responses work best.Use one steady scriptChoose a single line and repeat it calmly:“I know this is hard.”“I know you can handle this.”“Let me know when you’re ready.”Consistency matters more than wording.👉 Free scripts you can use right away:5 Phrases That Calm Anxious Kids (Without Reinforcing Anxiety)https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/5phrasesthatcalmanxiouskidsModel frustration out loudLet kids hear you work through something difficult. Show effort, pauses, mistakes, and recovery. This teaches far more than advice ever will.Hold the line kindlyWhen resistance shows up — crying, whining, stalling — stay calm and wait. Courage grows through staying, not escaping.Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/ Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
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    23 m
  • 225. When Kids Can’t Tolerate Frustration, What’s Actually Missing?

    225. When Kids Can’t Tolerate Frustration, What’s Actually Missing?
    Jan 26 2026
    If kids melt down the second something feels hard, this episode is for you.Dr. Caroline explains distress tolerance — a core emotion regulation skill that helps children and teens handle frustration, anxiety, disappointment, and discomfort without blowing up, shutting down, or escaping. She shares why the brain needs uncomfortable feelings for learning, how the nervous system reacts in milliseconds, and why quick fixes can backfire over time.You’ll learn:- Why discomfort is where the brain rewires and learns- How “making it easier” can create long-term fragility- A simple 1–10 scale to lower intensity without minimizing feelings- “Ride the wave” + “storm” metaphors kids remember- How to keep the prefrontal cortex online during big feelings- A practical grounding/pendulation tool (often helpful for neurodivergent kids)- The three minds (emotion mind, rational mind, wise mind) using Smart Hulk, - Spock, and Captain Kirk- How to model this in real life so kids build confidence through doing hard thingsThis episode is for teachers, school counsellors, parents, therapists, psychologists, and mental health professionals supporting children.⏱️ Try this today: Ask, “How big is this feeling 1–10?” then, “What would bring it to a 7 or 8?”Chapters 00:00 Distress tolerance + why kids need it01:40 Nervous system + stress response04:21 “We keep robbing kids” of discomfort07:06 Finding the 6–7 learning zone08:03 The 1–10 scaling tool10:16 Emotions pass (and what fuels them)13:43 Ride the wave + storm metaphor17:03 Grounding to keep the prefrontal cortex online18:24 Pendulation (roots through the feet)22:29 Emotion mind vs rational mind28:36 Wise mind (Smart Hulk balance)35:47 Pros/cons to slow impulsive choices43:00 Stop making it easier (chips story)Homework Ideas to Support Kids & TeensA) The 1–10 “bring it to a 7” check-in (daily, 60 seconds)Script: “How big is it 1–10?” → “What would bring it to a 7 or 8?”Resource: feelings chart for younger kids; for teens, a Notes app tracking scale.B) Weather Report Feelings (younger kids + classrooms)Prompt: “If your feelings were weather right now, what would it be?”Follow-up: “What might your weather map look like later today?”Resource: paper + markers, or a whiteboard “weather wall”.C) Ride-the-Wave timer (build proof feelings pass)Do: set a timer and track how long the feeling stays intense.Script: “How long do you think this will last?” → timer → “What happened?”Resource: phone timer + simple log (date / feeling / intensity / time).D) Grounding to keep the thinking brain online (not to “calm down”)Prompts: “Where do you feel it?” “Left or right?” “Describe it.”E) Pendulation (“roots through the feet”) for big body sensationsPractice: chest sensation → feet sensation → back to chest → back to feet.Resource: optional cue card with steps.F) Three Minds roleplay (Smart Hulk / Spock / Captain Kirk)Ask: “What would Emotion Mind say?” “What would Rational Mind say?” “What would Wise Mind choose?”Resource: character images (optional).G) Pros/cons (for impulsive urges)Do: “Pros now / costs later” list on a sticky note.Resource: sticky notes or Notes app.Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/ Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
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    44 m
  • 224. When emotions take over, is impulse control even possible to teach?

    224. When emotions take over, is impulse control even possible to teach?
    Jan 20 2026

    Impulse control is a foundational skill for emotion regulation—and many kids don’t have it yet.


    In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline continues her series on impulse control and explains how impulsive reactions block learning, problem-solving, and emotional growth. You’ll learn how to help kids and teens slow down, map their emotional patterns, and practise new responses before big emotions take over.


    Topics covered:

    • Why impulsivity makes emotion regulation harder
    • How to map thoughts, feelings, body sensations, urges, and behaviours
    • Using environment changes to make self-control easier
    • If-then planning that works in real life
    • Helping kids practise new behaviours without shame or power struggles
    • Why reinforcement and recovery time matter


    This episode is designed for parents, educators, school staff, and mental health professionals working with kids who react fast and struggle to pause.


    🎧 Listen, share, and subscribe for more practical tools to support emotional growth.



    Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh


    Follow Dr. Caroline

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

    IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

    LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

    Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

    Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

    Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/


    Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
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    19 m
  • 223. What do kids need before impulse control can improve?

    223. What do kids need before impulse control can improve?
    Jan 13 2026

    Impulsivity doesn’t come from nowhere. It shows up when emotions move faster than skills.


    In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline moves into part 2 of impulse control, unpacking what kids actually need to slow impulsive reactions and make better choices when feelings surge. You’ll hear why impulse control cannot be taught in isolation, how emotional literacy lays the groundwork, and why kids need repeated, real-world practice, not lectures, to change behaviour.


    We talk about recognizing emotional patterns, mapping triggers across the day, teaching opposite actions, building self-coaching language, and creating safe opportunities for kids to practice responding differently while emotions are active. This episode is packed with practical strategies for parents, educators, and clinicians who want to help kids build real pause, choice, and follow-through.


    Homework Ideas

    • Track daily emotion triggers using simple ABC notes (Antecedent, Behaviour, Consequence)
    • Help kids identify body cues that signal rising emotion
    • Create a short list of opposite actions for common emotions
    • Practice self-coaching scripts out loud, then quietly
    • Set up safe, repeatable practice moments at home or school
    • Reinforce effort with specific feedback
    • Rotate practice across settings, people, and times of day


    Helpful Tools

    • Coping cards
    • Choice boards
    • Emotion–action–outcome maps
    • Visual stop cues
    • Progress tracking charts



    Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh


    Follow Dr. Caroline

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

    IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

    LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

    Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

    Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

    Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/


    Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
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    26 m
  • 222. Why do kids react before they think?

    222. Why do kids react before they think?
    Jan 6 2026

    Many kids struggle with impulse control, and adults are often left wondering why strategies don’t stick. This episode breaks down the foundations of impulsive behaviour and why so many kids react without thinking — especially when emotions are high.


    Dr. Caroline explains the building blocks kids need long before self-control can happen: emotional safety, a developing prefrontal cortex, attention regulation, and the four types of impulsivity that influence behavior. You’ll learn how urgency, acting too fast, difficulty sticking with tasks, and sensation seeking show up in everyday life.


    This episode helps parents, educators, and mental health professionals finally understand the why behind big reactions — and sets the groundwork for change.

    Homework Ideas


    Track patterns (simple, daily).

    Write down:

    • When impulsivity happened
    • What emotion was present
    • What urge the child felt
    • What behaviour followed

    This reveals triggers and themes.


    Build “urge awareness.”

    Ask your child:

    • “When you feel angry, what does your body want to do first?”
    • “When you're excited, what do you want to do right away?”

    This grows self-observation before action.


    Watch your own impulse moments.

    Kids mirror adults.

    Choose one moment this week to pause before reacting.



    Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh


    Follow Dr. Caroline

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

    IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

    LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

    Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

    Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

    Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/


    Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
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    28 m
  • 221. Resilience Goals for Kids: Celebrate Growth, Set Intentions

    221. Resilience Goals for Kids: Celebrate Growth, Set Intentions
    Dec 30 2025
    As we close out the year, this holiday replay of Overpowering Emotions focuses on helping kids reflect on how far they’ve come and set resilience intentions for the year ahead without pressure, perfectionism, or overwhelm. Dr. Caroline talks about why small victories matter, how to help kids notice their own growth, and how to set one or two realistic intentions that actually stick. You’ll hear how to make these conversations feel collaborative instead of corrective, how to invite kids into the process as leaders of their own growth, and how adults can act as supportive consultants rather than fixers. This episode is for parents, educators, and professionals who want goal-setting to build kids' confidence, emotional regulation, and follow-through. Homework ideasThe 10-minute “Year in Review” chatUse 3 prompts:“What’s something you’re proud of from this year?”“What was hard, and what helped you get through it?”“What’s one skill you’re stronger at now than you were last year?”Tip: If they shrug, offer choices: school, friends, sports, family, hobbies, health, handling stress.Pick ONE resilience goal using the “Tiny + Clear” ruleHave your child choose one:Body goal: “When I’m stressed, I’ll take 10 slow breaths before I talk.”Mind goal: “When I make a mistake, I’ll practice one re-do instead of quitting.”Connection goal: “Once a week, I’ll ask for help when I’m stuck.”Bravery goal: “I’ll do one small uncomfortable thing each week.”Make it specific: when / where / how often.Create an “If-Then” coping plan (especially for anxiety/overwhelm)“If I feel overwhelmed, then I will ____.”Examples: get water, step outside, text a parent, use a coping card, take a 5-minute break.Weekly check-in that doesn’t feel like naggingOnce a week, ask:“What worked?”“What got in the way?”“What’s one small tweak for this week?”Keep it short. Aim for progress, not perfection.Free Resources The Emotional Literacy Book (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy)Holiday Guide with essential tips to support emotion regulation over the holidays (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/2025holidayguide)Goal setting blog (https://korupsychology.ca/setting-goals/)Episode 99 for an episode on goal setting for academicsProblem-solving (https://korupsychology.ca/develop-problem-solving-skills/) Goal Ladder Template (Big Goal → Small Steps) My Big Goal (Something I want to get better at) Step 1: My First Small StepWhat I will try this week: When I might practice this:☐ At school ☐ At home ☐ With friends ☐ Other: __________ Step 2: My Next Small StepWhat I will try next: How I’ll know I’m making progress: Step 3: My Stretch StepWhat I’ll try when I’m ready: What might help if this feels hard: Celebrating ProgressOne thing I’m already proud of: One way an adult can support me: Coping Card Template Front of CardWhen I feel: ☐ Angry ☐ Anxious ☐ Overwhelmed ☐ Sad ☐ Frustrated ☐ Disappointed ☐ Other: __________My body might feel like: Back of CardI can try: ☐ Take 3 slow breaths ☐ Take a short break ☐ Get a drink or snack ☐ Ask for help ☐ Use my words ☐ Move my body ☐ Remind myself:“__________________________________________________”If this doesn’t help, I can: An adult who can help me is: Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/ Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
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    13 m