Double standards can show up in any marriage, but over time they can quietly erode connection and trust. The tricky part is, they’re not always obvious and sometimes they hide in the everyday routines and unspoken expectations you’ve had for years.

In this episode, I’m breaking down how double standards show up, why they can feel so frustrating (even if you can’t put your finger on exactly why), and what to do if you suspect they’re taking a toll on your relationship.

Tune in to discover:

• How to spot double standards you may not even realize are there

• Why these patterns feel so personal and emotionally charged

• A simple way to talk about them without starting a fight

• What to focus on if the dynamic feels unfair but hard to change

• The shift that can help you feel like you’re on the same team again

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

There’s one sneaky force behind so many disconnections in marriage, and most couples don’t even realize it’s happening until they’re deep in resentment, withdrawal, or feeling like roommates.

In today’s episode, I’m breaking down the hidden link between the mental load and marriage shutdown, and why it’s about so much more than just who does the dishes. I’ll walk you through the three layers of mental load, the emotional toll it takes (especially on moms), and the subtle but powerful ways it impacts connection, intimacy, and teamwork.

Whether your spouse “helps” or not, this episode will help you understand why it still feels like too much and what to do about it.

Tune in to discover:

• How the mental load contributes to emotional burnout and disconnection
• The 3 H’s of the mental load and why one part in particular is the hardest to share
• Why your partner might not get it and how to talk so they finally do
• The real reason you feel stuck even if you’ve talked about this before
• What to focus on if your spouse can’t help more due to work, travel, or other commitments

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

You may have heard the headlines: men are doing more housework than ever before. Sounds like great news, right?

But in this episode, I’m breaking down why this seemingly positive trend can actually be really harmful for moms, and the very important piece that’s missing from the conversation. If you’ve ever been told you should feel grateful for your partner’s “help” but still feel unsupported, unseen, or like you’re carrying the mental weight of everything, this one is for you.

I’m sharing personal stories, research, and practical tools to help you move beyond “help” and toward true co-leadership in your home and relationship.

Tune in to discover:

• Why it’s not just about doing more—it’s about who’s managing it all
• The dangerous message moms get when they’re still overwhelmed but told to “be grateful”
• The key difference between household chores and the mental load (and why it matters)
• How to talk to your spouse about sharing the invisible weight (without a fight)
• The surprising long-term risks of ignoring this dynamic in your marriage

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

That quiet mental tally you keep? The one that says, “I’ve done bedtime three nights in a row” or “I handled the birthday party and the laundry and the grocery run”… that’s called scorekeeping. And while it might feel totally justified, it’s also slowly eroding the connection in your marriage.

In this episode, I’m diving into where scorekeeping comes from, why it shows up so often after kids, and what it actually does to the trust and emotional safety in your relationship. Most importantly, I’ll show you what to do instead so you can get more of what you need without falling into the resentment spiral.

Tune in to discover:

• Why scorekeeping is a symptom of a deeper issue in your marriage
• How keeping track of “who does what” quietly chips away at trust
• The surprising ways scorekeeping damages emotional safety and intimacy
• What to do when it actually is unfair but you don’t know how else to say it
• Tools to shift from competition to connection (and get your needs met)

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

There’s one tool that shows your spouse you care about how they feel, helps rebuild trust, and creates the kind of emotional safety every strong relationship needs. And yet, it’s one of the most misunderstood (and misused) tools in marriage.

I’m talking about apology. Not the kind that shuts a conversation down or smooths things over quickly, but the kind that actually brings you closer. Whether you're someone who avoids saying sorry, finds yourself over-apologizing, or just wishes your spouse would do it better, I’m getting into why this skill is so critical for connection and how to use it well.

Tune in to discover:

• The surprising psychological reasons so many people struggle to apologize
• Why your spouse’s apology might not feel satisfying (and what to do about it)
• What research says about the way men and women apologize differently
• A 3-part formula you can use to give powerful, effective apologies
• How to get more of what you need even if your partner doesn’t apologize often (or at all)

The Us System: The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Sometimes the biggest shift in your marriage starts with getting crystal clear on what you actually need—and saying it out loud.

In this special episode, I’m joined by the incredible Elizabeth Newcamp, military spouse, mom of three, and co-host of Slate’s Care and Feeding podcast, for a real, tender, and honest conversation about resentment, default parenting, emotional labor, and what it means to truly feel seen in your relationship.

We talk about the invisible mental load, how resentment shows up even when you want to be a team, and the surprisingly powerful thing Elizabeth did to shift how she and her husband communicate (it gave me chills).

Tune in to discover:

• Why resentment doesn’t mean your marriage is broken
• The invisible load of emotional labor and how to name it clearly
• What happened when Elizabeth wrote her husband the apology she needed to hear
• The surprising power of being explicit about what you need (even when it feels unfair to spell it out)
• Why real change in marriage takes intention, communication, and practice

Connect with Elizabeth:

• Care and Feeding Podcast: https://slate.com/podcasts/care-and-feeding

Connect with Lindsay:

• FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

• Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

• Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

You’ve heard the advice: “Never go to bed angry,” “Happy wife, happy life,” “If it’s hard, you married the wrong person.” But what if I told you that a lot of the messages we’ve been fed about healthy marriages are just plain wrong?

In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on the real reasons so many couples feel disconnected or overwhelmed after kids and how these common myths are setting you up to struggle. If your marriage hasn’t felt easy, or you’ve wondered why all the “right” things don’t seem to work, this one is for you.

I’ll walk you through the biggest lies we’ve been told about marriage, why they’re so harmful, and what actually helps create connection, support, and partnership that lasts.

Tune in to discover:

• The number one reason you were never set up for success in marriage
• Why the mental load is still invisible even to the person carrying it
• The truth about conflict in front of your kids (and why it can actually help)
• What to do when your efforts to fix things don’t seem to work
• Why your marriage won’t bounce back on its own after a baby

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Do you ever feel like sharing your feelings with your spouse only leads to defensiveness, frustration, or being completely misunderstood? Like you’re trying to express something real and vulnerable, but instead you end up managing their reaction or feeling more alone than before? You're not broken (and neither is your marriage) but this episode explains exactly what’s getting in the way of the emotional safety and connection you crave.

In this episode, I’ll walk you through one of the most common (and least talked about) dynamics that makes emotional validation feel impossible in marriage, and how you can change it.

Tune in to discover:

• What the “I failed” filter is, and how it sabotages connection
• Why your spouse may not be validating you, even if they think they are
• A realistic mindset shift around what validation actually looks like
• The biggest validation trap couples fall into (and how to get out of it)
• Scripts to use when you want to feel heard, and when your partner needs to feel cared for

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids