Become A Calm Mama Podcast Por Darlynn Childress arte de portada

Become A Calm Mama

Become A Calm Mama

De: Darlynn Childress
Escúchala gratis

Become a Calm Mama is a parenting podcast where you learn practical parenting tools and strategies so you can stop yelling, feel more calm, and show up as the mom you want to be. Darlynn is the top parenting coach for moms who want to know exactly how to handle misbehavior and create a peaceful home. Darlynn is known for her practical strategies and a down to earth understanding of what it’s really like to be a mom raising kids in the 21st century. Over the past 15 years, Darlynn has dedicated her life to becoming the mom she wanted to be for my kids. In that process, she created a parenting model called “The Calm Mama Process” that helped her navigate every tricky parenting moment that’s been thrown her way. From hitting to bullying, from toddler meltdowns to teenage shenanigans, from missing assignments to college admissions, from getting kids to bed to getting kids out of bed, from kids not wanting to get out of the bath to middle schoolers that don’t want to take a shower, from kids fighting in the car to kids who drive their own car, she’s seen it all. Darlynn has taught her model to hundreds of moms since 2015 and when they apply the Calm Mama Process to their tricky parenting moments they have calm and peace in their homes. Their kids' behavior improves, their relationship with their children gets so much better, and they enjoy motherhood (most of the time!). Darlynn teaches her process inside her coaching program, The Emotionally Healthy Kids course, where you learn how to master your reactivity, teach kids how to manage their big feelings, and set limits that work. Each week she brings practical and simple strategies to the podcast so you can stop yelling and create a peaceful home.Copyright 2026 Darlynn Childress Crianza y Familias Desarrollo Personal Relaciones Éxito Personal
Episodios
  • Matrescence with Dr. Angele Close

    Matrescence with Dr. Angele Close
    Apr 2 2026
    Dr. Angele Close is back to talk with me more about matrescence - the transformation and experience of becoming a mother. Motherhood comes with so many changes, identity shifts, frustrations, overwhelm, delight (I could go on all day). You’ll Learn:What matrescence isHow the transformation of motherhood looks different at different stages of lifeCommon experiences and struggles of matrescencePractical strategies for processing the changes you’re going throughWhy it’s so hard for moms to give validation to themselves.It’s a big deal to become a parent! We are forever changed by the experience. Today, we’re diving deeper into what it means to go through this process, how it changes us, how it's like adolescence, and the beautiful gifts that come with becoming a mom. ------------------------------------As you may remember from our previous conversations, Dr. Angele Close is a clinical psychologist, motherhood coach, and mindfulness teacher who draws on the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of healing and transformation to support maternal mental health and well-being. She helps mothers navigate the identity shifts of matrescence, releasing perfectionism and shame so they can embrace motherhood with greater self-compassion, confidence, and joy. Dr. Angele is also a mother of 3 teens and the author of Unburdening Motherhood: A Guide to Breaking Cycles, Healing Trauma, and Becoming a Self-led Mom.Transformational StagesWe all go through certain periods of transformation in our lives. Two of the biggest are adolescence and matrescence, and Dr. Angele shared some comparisons between them. She says that each of these is a transformational journey that every woman who becomes a mother will experience. Just as your body, identity, and friendships change during adolescence, your mindset, identity, career, and relationships also change over the course of motherhood. And while we all go through this transformation, every person’s experience is unique. Matrescence begins in the moment that you start thinking, “I think I want to be a mother” (or, “Oh shit, I’m going to be a mother!”). And it lasts as long as you are a mother.Because this covers such a wide range of time and experiences, it can also help to pinpoint where you are within matrescence:Emerging motherhood Early motherhoodLate motherhoodPost-motherhood (this is where I am right now)Depending on your stage of matrescence, there are some common patterns and experiences that Dr. Angele has seen come up for moms. Fantasy v. RealityThis is a big one in early motherhood. Chances are, you had a vision in your mind of what it would be like to be a mom. Maybe it was carried with you from childhood, when you pretended to be a mom to your dolls. Personally, I had a vision of strolling down Venice Beach in a cute outfit with my nails done and perfect hair. I had no idea what it was actually going to be like. The lived reality of motherhood is usually a bit different from the visions in our heads. Suddenly, you’re dealing with sleep schedules, feeding schedules, figuring out how to manage your time and energy in a whole new way. There’s a heavy mental load, lots of new demands, and you’re mentally and physically exhausted. The next thing you know, you haven't showered in days, you forgot to brush your teeth, haven't put a bra on, and can't figure out how to get you and your kid(s) out the door.It can be a little bit of a rude awakening compared to that vision of walking along the beach looking beautiful with the wind blowing in your hair! You probably realize that there are parts of momming that you don’t like. And then you feel like a bad mom. When you’re early on in matrescence (the first 4-5 years), it’s kinda like early adolescence. It feels awful, you don’t know who you are, and you’re confused about what you’re supposed to be doing, what matters, and what doesn’t. That confusion of identity leads us to…The Inner SplitMatrescence isn’t just about schedules and the demands of motherhood. It is a full transformation of identity. Matrescence can be really uncomfortable and isolating. You might feel torn between who you were as a woman and who you are becoming as a mom. Between what you want and the limitations that you’re facing. Dr. Angele explains that most moms make their child a priority, which is natural because babies are so dependent on us for survival. But as time goes on and our inner needs and ambitions are constantly sacrificed, that stuff starts to bubble up and seep out. You might start to test the waters by mentioning the way you’re feeling to family or friends. And too often, it’s invalidated or responded to negatively. When you’re afraid of not being seen as a “good” mom, you’re less likely to be honest about what you’re going through. And social media doesn’t help. Those curated feeds give you the idea that you’re supposed to look or act a certain way. So you think, “Oh, I guess I...
    Más Menos
    51 m
  • The CALM Break

    The CALM Break
    Mar 26 2026
    If you’re a fan of the Pause Break, you are going to love the new and improved tool I’m teaching in today’s episode. And if you’re new here, the CALM Break is going to change the way you show up as a parent!You’ll Learn:Why you feel so stressed out as a parentThe 4 steps of the CALM BreakHow (and when) to use a CALM Break to stop yelling and feel less overwhelmedSome of my favorite thoughts for a more positive mindsetThe CALM Break is the new and improved Pause Break. It’s a step-by-step process for what to do when you find yourself overwhelmed, yelling at your kid, or just not showing up as the parent you want to be. Today, I’m breaking down what it is and how you can use it to show up as a calm mama.--------------------------------Why Aren’t You Calm?We all feel overwhelmed and dysregulated at times, especially when it comes to parenting. Understanding what’s going on can help you to be more compassionate with yourself and feel less out of control.Your nervous system has two parts: the sympathetic and the parasympathetic. The parasympathetic nervous system is the calm part. It's what we think of as “rest and digest”. It's a state of equilibrium and balance. For the most part, you should be living your life in the parasympathetic nervous system. These are the times when things are relatively easy, you know what to be doing, the demands on you are manageable, and you're able to keep up.When things become stressful - there is too much demand on you and you feel overwhelmed - your nervous system says, “Uh-oh, we can’t handle this,” and it decides that you need a bunch more stress hormones (e.g. adrenaline, cortisol, epinephrine) in order to deal with what’s in front of you. This triggers your sympathetic nervous system. That's the fight, flight, freeze, faint, fawn response. Basically, you either become activated or you shut down. At certain times in your life, this stress response can be really helpful and useful. But we’re not supposed to stay in an activated state all the time. The stressors in our lives aren't supposed to outpace our ability to manage those stressors.But kids (even if you only have one) create a lot of extra stress. You're constantly worried and looking out for their safety. You're constantly trying to problem solve. They’re melting down because their nervous system is immature and misfiring all the time. And then you add the everyday life demands of time, money, work, relationship drama, physical fatigue, and it can feel so overwhelming. A lot of the time, you can handle things as they come up. Somebody spills their juice, you clean it up, you move on. Give yourself a little credit here for not being a raging lunatic all the time! But there are also moments when your stress response takes over. Your brain tells you this is an emergency, your stress response activates, and it takes you out of your logical, thinking response. This is when you need to use the CALM Break to get your parasympathetic nervous system back online to manage the stress juice and get you back to a more balanced state. The CALM BreakListen, if you have kids under 10, it’s probably cuckoo pants all the time in your house. Under age 5, forget it. You've got kids climbing and jumping and throwing and spitting and punching and hitting. And you're gonna feel like you're going bananas (and you kind of are). Your nervous system is not ready for those demands. It’s not built to be. CALM is an acronym that helps you remember the steps to follow when you notice that you are overwhelmed, triggered, or dysregulated. CALM stands for:Catch yourselfAlignLabelMove Step 1: Catch Yourself & PauseThis step is about building awareness of how you’re feeling and when you are dysregulated. You can also think of the “C” as checking in with yourself. This can be as simple as noticing and saying to yourself, “Oh, I’m very overwhelmed right now.” When you interrupt your stress response, you are retraining your nervous system to respond differently to those circumstances. Step 2: AlignAlign refers to getting your nervous system back online with your values and your goals of becoming a calm parent. First, delay. Don’t do any parenting in this moment while you’re activated.Communicate to your kids that you're not in alignment. Say something like, “You know what? I'm getting upset right now. I love you, and I don’t want to yell at you. I'm going to take a CALM break.” Or, “I'm sorry, this is not how I want to act. I will talk to you about this in a few minutes after a take a break.”When you tell your children what is happening in real time, they will feel less afraid. They will feel less activated. Plus, as you start to get calm, they might start to calm down, too. Step 3: Label Your Thoughts & FeelingsNarrate for yourself what you're thinking and what's going on and name those feelings. I want you to do this with kindness and self-compassion. There’s no need for negative ...
    Más Menos
    32 m
  • The Connected Parenting Process

    The Connected Parenting Process
    Mar 19 2026
    I’m back with brand new episodes and a new name for my signature parenting framework!You’ll Learn:Why I changed the name of my signature parenting processThe 4 steps of The Connected Parenting ProcessHow my book is coming along!What to expect in upcoming episodesI want this process to be accessible to EVERY parent - moms, dads, bonus moms, stepdads, even grandparents. I want to talk about parenting in a more holistic way. Introducing The Connected Parenting Process.----------------------------------------I’m back from a 10-week hiatus of recording new episodes. The reason for that break is that I’ve been busy writing a book! It’s all about raising an emotionally healthy kid using connected parenting. More to come on that later, of course.Through the writing process, I realized some things about how I’ve been teaching about parenting and how I want to talk about it moving forward. For the last several years, my signature process has been called The Calm Mama Process. But now, I see that this title isn’t really fair to moms. It makes it seem like the mom is the person who's supposed to be calm and do all the connected parenting. I realized that in some ways, by titling my parenting philosophy “The Calm Mama Process”, I was putting pressure on moms to be the person who's responsible for parenting, and I was alienating dads in the process. I do not want to perpetuate these gender-typical roles and continue putting the emotional and mental labor of parenting solely on women. Frankly, I’m over anything that puts more pressure on moms. I’m done with it.I want this process to be accessible to EVERY parent - moms, dads, bonus moms, stepdads, even grandparents. I want to talk about parenting in a more holistic way. So, I decided to rename my framework The Connected Parenting Process.The Connected Parenting ProcessIf you’ve been with me for a while, this will sound pretty familiar. My process, whatever the name, has always been made up of these 4 parts: calm, connect, limit set, correct. When you practice those 4 pillars, you raise an emotionally healthy kid and you are a connected parent. Let’s walk through them together.CALMCalm is all about the parent and your connection to yourself. The tools, strategies, and concepts under this pillar support your emotional health and your ability to self-regulate. By learning to process your negative emotion, coach yourself through big feelings, and manage your mindset around your kid’s behavior, you will be calm.This is so important (and the first step) because the rest of the parenting pillars are really hard to access if you are not calm and regulated.CONNECTConnect is about connecting your child to themselves. You're teaching your child the connection between what's going on inside of them and how they're acting on the outside. You give them tools to connect how they're behaving to how they're feeling and then coach them to self-regulate.This is one of the main differences between traditional parenting and connected parenting. Traditional parenting is focused only on behavior modification. It doesn’t matter how the parent is acting or if it’s aggressive. It doesn’t matter what is driving that behavior in the child. The focus is solely on behavior and consequences.In connected parenting, we focus on the feelings that are underneath the behavior and on helping our kids learn to cope with their emotions (which means that they don’t need to act out).LIMIT SETLimits connect your child to the boundaries that work within your family. As a connected parent, you will set, communicate, and hold limits. Beyond your family, you’re using boundaries to connect your child to the world - helping them understand how the world works and giving them clear guidance and parameters on which behaviors are okay.This isn't a feelings-only or a behavior-only model. It’s a combination. You can have compassion for your kid and also not give in just because they’re having a big feeling (no way!). Helping them regulate that emotion and having a firm limit helps them to become resilient.CORRECTCorrect is where you show your child the connection between their behavior and the impact of their behavior. If they fail, they have to fix it. If they make a mistake, they have to repair that mistake. We're connecting behavior to consequences.In this model, consequences are not just meant to modify behavior. We’re helping them to see, in a logical, neutral way, that certain behaviors cause problems. Misbehavior might cause a time problem, an energy problem, or a money problem. You want your kid to start to connect the dots between their behavior and the impact their behavior has on others. And then do what they can to make it right.When you have those 4 pillars it means you are raising an emotionally healthy kid who turns into an emotionally healthy adult.If you are hitting those pillars pretty regularly in your parenting, you can kind of relax. That is what I really...
    Más Menos
    24 m
Todavía no hay opiniones