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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

De: That Hoarder
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 Hoarding disorder is stigmatised and people who hoard feel vast amounts of shame. This podcast began life as an audio diary, an anonymous outlet for somebody with this weird condition. That Hoarder speaks about her experiences living with compulsive hoarding, she interviews therapists, academics, researchers, children of hoarders, professional organisers and influencers, and she shares insight and tips for others with the problem. Listened to by people who hoard as well as those who love them and those who work with them, Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder aims to shatter the stigma, share the truth and speak openly and honestly to improve lives.© 2023 Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with @ThatHoarder Hygiene & Healthy Living Psicología Psicología y Salud Mental
Episodios
  • #188 12 ways to make decision-making easier (and why people who hoard find it so hard to make decisions in the first place!)

    #188 12 ways to make decision-making easier (and why people who hoard find it so hard to make decisions in the first place!)
    May 30 2025
    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Decision-making can be a huge stumbling block when you’re trying to tackle hoarding, from cognitive overload to perfectionism and decision fatigue. In this episode, I unpack why making choices about our belongings feels so overwhelming, what can go wrong if we avoid it, and I share practical strategies to make the process more manageable. If you find yourself stuck in analysis paralysis or endlessly putting off decisions, this one’s for you. Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Introduction to Decision Making and HoardingDecision making as a common issue among hoardersOverwhelm and avoidance connected to belongings and acquiring new itemsEpisode aims: understanding why decision making is hard, consequences of indecision, and strategies to helpWhy Decision Making is Difficult for People Who HoardCognitive OverloadToo many items to process, making each choice feel monumentalResulting in avoidance and deferral of decisionsAccumulation due to unresolved decisionsAnalysis ParalysisBeing stuck analysing endless options and outcomesDifficulty prioritising and overthinking decisionsExhaustion from mental effortInformation Processing ChallengesTrouble prioritising urgency and importanceStruggling to filter necessary versus unnecessary informationBeing trapped in unresolvable decision loopsEmotional BarriersPerfectionism and fear of making the wrong decisionCatastrophising possible negative outcomesAll-or-nothing thinking relating to perfectionismSentimental AttachmentStruggles with emotional connection to items (gifts, memories)Difficulty discerning genuine sentimental valueFear of the FutureAnxiety about future need or regret causing paralysisPreference for clinging to items over risking discomfortExecutive Function ChallengesDifficulties with planning, organising, prioritising, and initiating tasksImpact of poor working memory on decision makingConsequences of Avoiding DecisionsVicious Cycle of ProcrastinationAccumulation of clutter, increased overwhelm and fatiguePractical ImplicationsSafety hazards and restricted home usageSocial isolation and relationship strain due to inability to hostEmotional ImpactStress, depression, guilt, and shameFinancial ConsequencesExtra spending, buying duplicates, damage or loss of items, missed bills and penaltiesBuilding Negative Self-PerceptionsBelief in inability to decide reinforces avoidanceDeclining self-trust and self-esteemStrategies and Techniques for Improving Decision MakingIdentify Resistance and Mental BlocksQuestioning internal "nope" responsesUnderstanding fears or overwhelming factors behind avoidanceTreat Decisions as ExperimentsLowering pressure by seeing outcomes as learning experiencesAvoiding a pass/fail mindsetMake Micro-DecisionsStarting with low-stakes, emotionally neutral itemsBuilding decision-making confidence ("decision muscle")Utilise Support SystemsSeeking feedback or accountability from friends, family, organisers, or therapistsSense-checking and encouragement from othersClarify Values and PrioritiesAligning decisions with personal goals (e.g., hospitality, functionality, beauty)Using values as a decision compassSet Time LimitsImposing limits per decision to prevent overthinkingAdjusting duration as confidence improvesAccept “Good Enough” DecisionsAllowing for adequacy over perfectionChallenging double standards around self-expectations versus othersReduce Number of ChoicesLimiting possible options (e.g., keep/throw/donate)Pre-determining criteria to streamline choicesReality ChecksProbing feelings of “I might need it” with practical questionsReviewing usage frequency and functionalityIncrease Awareness of AvoidanceNoticing procrastination and avoidance behavioursEvaluating the significance of indecision as a barrierBuild Tolerance for Uncertainty and DiscomfortAccepting that discomfort is part of life, and not deciding brings other difficultiesGradually practicing sitting with uncertaintyPractice Consistency in Decision MakingIncorporating daily decision-making habitsGently challenging avoidance and celebrating each choice madeDecision-making is a learnable, improvable skillThe importance of starting small and practicing imperfect decisionsBuilding self-trust and confidence through repeated practiceEncouragement to challenge avoidance and recognise growth with each decision Links Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20.Podcast ep 172: Harriet Impey on clearing out her parents’ very full home, through family ...
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    38 m
  • #187 What if we focused less on self-care and more on self-nurture to progress our hoarding recovery?

    #187 What if we focused less on self-care and more on self-nurture to progress our hoarding recovery?
    May 23 2025
    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Self-care gets a lot of airtime these days, but I’ve started rethinking what it actually means, especially when you’re struggling with hoarding disorder. In this episode, I talk about why marketed, consumer-driven “self-care” just adds more pressure, and why nurturing yourself with compassion, connection, and practical routines is far more effective. Plus, I share some genuinely helpful, low-cost ways to support yourself without adding to the clutter - or your to-do list. Self-Care in Modern TimesEvolution of the meaning of “self-care”:The older, practical definition (basic hygiene, nourishment)Current consumer-driven, extravagant interpretationsCritique of modern self-care commercialisationChallenges of Hoarding and Mental Health StrugglesEmotional toll of hoarding disorderStress, anxiety, depression, trauma, griefThe exhausting process of trying to “fix” thingsDaily stressors of living in a hoardFeelings of failure, constant reminders, adrenaline spikes from unexpected visitors, tripping over itemsThe Real Purpose of Self-CareBalancing negative emotions (stress, grief, trauma) with activities that nurture the soulEvaluating popular self-care adviceThe problem with universal, commercialised recommendationsImportance of individualised, inward-looking approachesIntroducing the Concept of "Self-Nurture"How self-nurture differs from self-careGreater compassion, sustainability, and personalisationEmphasis on looking inwards for individual needsPractical examples of self-nurturing activitiesThe Pitfalls of Commercialised Self-CareThe “shoulds” culture and guilt surrounding unmet self-care standardsSurface-level versus meaningful acts of careHow marketed solutions often do not address real needsGuilt and shame when unable to practice recommended self-care (especially for those who hoard)Consumer Culture and Self-CareSelf-care as a commodified experience: Encouragement to buy unnecessary productsHow this affects people who hoardRisk of exacerbating clutter by acquiring more as “self-care”Focus on external fixes rather than internal wellbeingThe Benefits of Self-NurtureSelf-nurture as inexpensive or freeFocus on activities rather than acquisitionsFinding joy or restoration in simple practices (e.g., using what you have, accessing the library, running without specialised gear)Compassionate Self-Nurture in PracticeAsking internal questions about core needs (physical, emotional, psychological)Treating oneself as one would treat a person they loveEmphasis on gentle, non-critical, incremental progressDrinking water for wellbeing rather than obligationTime in nature, connecting with friends, creativity, self-acceptanceBuilding Emotional Security and GentlenessEstablishing emotional security as a core needManaging self-criticism and reaching out for connection despite anxietyCelebration of small wins and progressValidating and acknowledging difficult feelings with compassionEvaluating and Choosing Nurturing ActivitiesKey questions to ask: “Will this nurture me emotionally, psychologically, or physically?”Differentiating between genuine needs and justifying unnecessary purchasesAvoidance of reinforcing negative patterns through acquisitionDeveloping a Personal Toolbox for Self-NurtureGathering and customising strategies that workRoutines and coping mechanismsTaking stock of helpful techniques, personalising approachesRecognising and valuing unique sources of restorationTop TipDIY, low-cost tip for cleaning the dishwasher with household itemsEncouragement to take any step, however small, towards self-nurture Links The "feeling your feelings" episodeEpisodes talking about the inner critic: with Steve Chapman; about the song that changed everything for me; and about making mistakesCome to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.onlineTikTok: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast
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    37 m
  • #186 10 executive dysfunction tips and tricks to help people who hoard, whether we have ADHD or are neurodivergent or not - Hoarding Awareness Week 2025

    #186 10 executive dysfunction tips and tricks to help people who hoard, whether we have ADHD or are neurodivergent or not - Hoarding Awareness Week 2025
    May 16 2025
    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ For Hoarding Awareness Week 2025, I’m focusing on executive function - the brain’s control centre for planning, starting, and finishing tasks - and the small, practical hacks that can make a genuine difference for people who hoard, whether or not we have ADHD or are neurodivergent. I talk about real-life tips for breaking the overwhelm, managing perfectionism, building momentum, and overcoming shame, all with the aim of making progress sustainable and achievable in your day-to-day life. This episode is all about honest advice that actually works, whether you’re in the thick of it or just looking for a few smarter ways to approach this. Hoarding Awareness Week 2025 and its theme: Hoarding & Executive FunctionRecognition that executive function challenges impact both neurodivergent and neurotypical peopleExecutive Function and HoardingPrevious podcast episodes relating to executive function, ADHD, and hoardingImportance of using effective hacks and techniques, regardless of neurotypeEmphasis on finding what works personally for each listenerThe Realities and Challenges of Tackling HoardingOverwhelm and daunting feelings about dehoardingBreaking tasks into small, manageable partsFocus on actionable, day-to-day strategies rather than long-term, rigid planningUnderstanding Executive FunctionExplanation of what executive function is (control centre for planning, focus, and impulse control)Factors that can impair executive function (neurodivergence, mental health, stress, lack of sleep, etc.)Universality of executive dysfunction - everyone struggles at timesEmotional Barriers: Perfectionism and ShameThe cycle of shame and self-blame in executive dysfunction and hoardingSocietal judgment around hoarding, and its paralysing effectsStrategies for stepping back, naming emotions, and cultivating self-compassionCore Executive Dysfunction Tips and HacksBreaking Tasks DownSetting realistic micro-goalsThe concept of “towards” vs. “away” moves in progressTracking ProgressCounting bags/items leaving the houseCaution against tracking becoming burdensome for someUsing TimersSetting short (e.g., 5-minute) timers to help with task initiationUse of voice assistants to avoid distractionReverse-timer technique to use end of music/podcast as a cue for actionThe Two-Minute RuleLimitations and personal adaptations of ruleIdentifying MotivationsCreating visual or written reminders of why you want to dehoardAcceptance of some tools working only temporarily, and switching when necessaryReward SystemsSmall, non-material rewards for completing tasksLinking listening to desired media (like the podcast) with decluttering activitiesNon-Negotiable RulesCreating routines to reduce decision fatigue (e.g., charity bags leave home immediately)Body DoublingDoing tasks alongside others (physically or virtually, like in the host’s Zoom sessions)Emotional/moral support of parallel accountabilityAlternative ways to body double if group support isn’t accessibleTime Blocking and SchedulingUsing calendars and reminders to schedule decluttering sessionsFlexibly adapting this strategy based on personal responseHabit StackingLinking a new task to an established routine (e.g., unloading dishwasher while kettle boils)Using “add-ons” for frequently-visited spaces (e.g., clearing five things each time you enter the bathroom) Links Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie LagerstedtPodcast ep 162: From Fibble to Focus: Defibble your executive dysfunction with Jo CavalotPodcast ep 112: Executive function, executive dysfunction and hoarding with Dr Jan EppingstallPodcast ep 149: ADHD, hoarding and clutter with Susie Boutal, ADHD and Declutter CoachPodcast ep 107: Things that look like hoarding but aren’t: ADHD, depression, autism, OCD, OCPD and morePodcast ep 40: ADHD and hoarding with Dr Sharon MoreinPodcast ep 82: Dehoarding when you’re drowning with KC Davis of Struggle CarePodcast ep 182: What are “towards and away moves” and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan EppingstallPodcast ep 184: What if we actually felt the feelings? An honest conversation about trauma, hoarding, and allowing yourself to feelPodcast ep 28: Avoid analysis paralysis by having ‘systems’Arielle and Ned's Daily Tips That May or May Not Help YouCome to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @ThatHoarder@...
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    37 m
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It is better to do this together. My biggest issue is giving away things that has something to do with my kids. My thinking: ‘I think maybe my sister could use this with her kids if she will ever have any down the road…oh I love this my son played so much with this!’ Or ‘ I could sell this.. this was so expensive!!’….just sad!.. I need you… Thank you!

Enjoying your podcast very much.

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My partner of 5 years left me, partly because of my hoarding and partly for other ptsd and ocd related difficulties. I fell into a pit of despair and shame and felt so alone. It catalyzed my taking in the hoard. It’s been deeply disheartening, alienating, and just so heavy. I found this podcast and for the first time in my struggle I feel so seen ❤️‍🩹 she has such a deep self awareness and brought to my art the weight of the emotional and psychological aspects of hoarding. I’ve made so much progress and when I get stuck or my roommate launches me into a downward spiral of negative self talk by refusing to see the progress I go to this podcast.

I’m almost at the point of self acceptance that I’m considering speaking out about it on social media and extending my hand to anyone else in my community who fights this secret battle. It’s been so hard to feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it or ask for help and if I ever get through this I want so badly to help others as this woman has helped me.

Could not do this alone

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This is such a fantastic podcast. I appreciate the compassion, humor, reflection, the topics and proactive outlook. The presentation is so well organized and so helpful. It's just so refreshing to hear representation by someone who experiences the disorder rather than being the passive subject of others scrutiny and analysis. This podcast is exactly the kind of dialogue that is needed to destigmatize hoarding disorder.

Informative, compassionate, and proactive.

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