Episodios

  • #184 What if we actually felt the feelings? An honest conversation about trauma, hoarding, and allowing yourself to feel

    #184 What if we actually felt the feelings? An honest conversation about trauma, hoarding, and allowing yourself to feel
    May 2 2025
    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ This week, I talk about what happens when I actually let myself feel the tough emotions instead of shutting them down - a pattern that's shaped my life and my struggles with hoarding, self-harm, and eating disorders. After a thought-provoking conversation with Anna Sale on Death, Sex & Money last year, I started questioning whether avoiding feelings has helped or hurt me in the long run and have been trying to process that ever since! I share what it’s like to sit with big emotions, experiment with messy ways to cope, and why feeling the feelings might just be a way forward. Avoiding FeelingsRealisation that I tend to do anything rather than feel difficult emotions.Recent personal reflection and processing feelings over the past few months.Impact of mental health and a PTSD flare-up on my ability to manage feelings.Connecting Coping Mechanisms to AvoidanceExperience with PTSD, self-harm, anorexia, and bulimia as different forms of not feeling or avoiding emotions.Insights from an interview with Anna Sale on Death, Sex & Money that linked these coping together as forms of avoidance.Acknowledgment that these strategies were more than just avoidance - also punitive, protective, and multifaceted.The Cost and Pattern of Emotional AvoidanceCompartmentalising as a lifelong coping skill and its negative long-term consequences.Difficulty breaking the habit of not feeling and the impact on my sense of identity.Recognition that suppressing feelings can be as damaging as (or more damaging than) the feelings themselves.Actively Facing and Processing FeelingsEngaging in therapy, journaling (both resentful and creative/collage style), and reading poetry to access emotions.Talking more openly with friends as a supportive measure.Forcing myself to do enjoyable activities (like getting outside), which helps counteract avoidance.Community, Connection, and SupportImpact of Trauma and Suppression on Daily LifeHow PTSD and unprocessed sadness began affecting sleep, revealing that suppressing feelings is no longer effective.Discusses the challenge of letting oneself feel emotions, both by choice and when overcome involuntarily.The risks of being overwhelmed and the delicate balance between feeling and avoidance.Learning and Conversations About Emotional AcceptanceRevisiting lessons from previous podcast guests about the counterproductivity of suppressing or over-intellectualising feelings.The concept that suppressed emotions may “come out sideways” through other behaviours, like self-harm or hoarding.Nuanced view of coping mechanisms - not labeling them as purely negative since they served protective purposes.Vulnerability, Shame, and Deepening RelationshipsGradual willingness to share deeper, more distressing moments with friends.Examining the reasons behind the instinct to hide intense distress.How vulnerability leads to stronger, more meaningful connections.Positive Effects of Feeling the Hard StuffDiscovering that feeling hard emotions increases the capacity to feel positive emotions more deeply.Finding deeper love, joy, and beauty in everyday experiences.Recognising the importance of support systems when exploring difficult emotions.Reflection and Encouragement for ListenersEncourages listeners to be curious about their own patterns of avoidance and coping.Cautions that intentionally feeling emotions is difficult and requires support.The hopeful observation that allowing feelings can be cathartic, gratifying, and healing—even if it’s uncomfortable. Links My interview on Death, Sex & MoneyPodcast ep 182: What are “towards and away moves” and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan EppingstallPodcast ep 169: Compassion-focused therapy for grief and hoarding with Dr Chia-Ying ChouPodcast ep 172: Harriet Impey on clearing out her parents’ very full home, through family belongings and personal growth, in the film Where Dragons LiveDeclutter Hub podcastCome to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.onlineTikTok: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast
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    26 m
  • REMIX: How to declutter when you're really busy: dehoarding in tiny time slots and other tips

    REMIX: How to declutter when you're really busy: dehoarding in tiny time slots and other tips
    Apr 25 2025
    • Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket
    • Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe
    • Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
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    41 m
  • REMIX: The little-known Hummingbird Method for tackling avoidance in dehoarding

    REMIX: The little-known Hummingbird Method for tackling avoidance in dehoarding
    Apr 18 2025
    • Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket
    • Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe
    • Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

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    33 m
  • #183 ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt

    #183 ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt
    Apr 11 2025
    • Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket
    • Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe
    • Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

    In this episode, I chat with Carrie Lagerstedt, a professional home organiser specialising in working with neurodivergent people in New Zealand. Carrie, diagnosed with ADHD herself, shares insights on managing clutter and executive dysfunction by creating home systems that work for us. We challenge the very idea of laziness and explore the potential of “may as well”.

    Buy your copy at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad

    • Carrie's background and transition from teaching to organising
    • Neurodivergence and Clutter
    • Common issues linking neurodivergence with clutter
    • Out of sight, out of mind
    • Sensory overwhelm and its effect on executive functioning
    • Challenges faced by those with executive dysfunction
    • Carrie's Experience with ADHD
    • Benefits of having ADHD when working with clients with similar challenges
    • Building trust through lived experiences and understanding
    • Moral neutrality and Organising
    • KC Davis' influence on Carrie's philosophy
    • Moral neutrality and functionality in organising
    • Debunking the concept of laziness
    • Challenges of living up to capitalist expectations
    • Systems for Neurodivergent Individuals
    • Making the home work for individuals
    • Difference between aspirational thinking and functional changes
    • Importance of practical systems over willpower
    • Executive Functioning and Organisational Strategies
    • Tools used to aid working memory and organisation (e.g., Post-its)
    • Cognitive flexibility and overcoming 'all or nothing' thinking
    • Understanding blocks and identifying actionable solutions
    • Personal Experiences and Adjustments
    • Personal stories and realisations regarding household tasks
    • Impact of habituation and changing perspectives on tasks
    • Tools and Hacks for Developing Systems
    • Categorising as key to organisation
    • Using visual reminders and structured systems
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    59 m
  • REMIX: The emotional impact of emergency dehoarding

    REMIX: The emotional impact of emergency dehoarding
    Apr 4 2025

    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket

    Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe

    Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

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    40 m
  • #182 What are "towards and away moves" and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan Eppingstall

    #182 What are "towards and away moves" and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan Eppingstall
    Mar 28 2025
    • Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket
    • Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe
    • Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

    Today, I'm joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to unpack "towards moves" and "away moves" in the context of hoarding. These terms might sound unusual, but they're crucial for understanding behaviour in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and how they relate to our values. It's all about recognising whether our actions are leading us closer to what matters or pulling us further away, and we'll be exploring how to identify and pivot those choices.

    • Introduction to Towards Moves and Away Moves
    • Definition and explanation of the concept.
    • The relevance of these moves in dealing with hoarding disorder.
    • Initial thoughts on the impact of small actions.
    • Examples in a Hoarding Context
    • Away moves (e.g., keeping craft supplies, avoiding recognising chaos).
    • Towards moves (e.g., donating supplies, acknowledging home environment issues).
    • Explanation of how values influence these moves.
    • Role of Values in Decision Making
    • Importance of determining personal values.
    • How values affect choices and provide motivation.
    • Impact of materialism and societal pressures on values.
    • Cognitive Fusion
    • Explanation and examples of cognitive fusion.
    • The effect of tightly held beliefs on reality and actions.
    • Discussion of accuracy vs. helpfulness of thoughts.
    • Flexibility vs. Rigidity and Perfectionism
    • Psychological inflexibility and societal expectations.
    • The struggle between personal values and societal pressures.
    • The concept of emotional flexibility and its importance.
    • Recognising Towards and Away Moves
    • Strategies for acknowledging and reflecting on these moves.
    • Importance of awareness in decision-making processes.
    • Dopamine and Pleasure vs. Meaning
    • The role of dopamine in pleasure and motivation.
    • Discussion on short-term pleasure vs. long-term meaning.
    • How these insights influence approach and avoidance behaviours.
    • Making Changes and Addressing Moves
    • Creating “if-then” plans to anticipate moves.
    • Reflecting on decisions and their outcomes.
    • Recognising patterns and using past experiences to guide future actions.
    • Role of Helpers in Towards and Away Moves
    • Identification and importance of helpers like goal setting and values clarification.
    • Challenges faced by individuals with attentional deficits.
    • Votes for the Person You Want to Be
    • Connection between choices and self-identity.
    • Concept of actions as votes for future selves.
    • First Steps to Take More Towards Moves
    • Starting with value clarification exercises.
    • Questions to help determine what’s important personally.
    • Encouragement to explore inner motivations and experiences.
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    45 m
  • #181 Past influences and future possibilities: cause and effect and hoarding disorder (plus Podcasthon)

    #181 Past influences and future possibilities: cause and effect and hoarding disorder (plus Podcasthon)
    Mar 21 2025
    • Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket
    • Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe
    • Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
    • Podcasthon
    • Mind, the mental health charity
    • Support Mind

    During a recent drive with a perfectly curated playlist, I had a revelation about cause and effect, particularly how our past behaviours and experiences contribute to both our challenges and our successes. I talk about having a compassionate understanding of how we've arrived at our current situation and how small, mindful actions today can shape a more positive future. The episode also features a discussion on Podcasthon and highlights the UK mental health charity Mind.

    • Explanation of Podcasthon: A week where podcasts highlight a charity.
    • Mind Charity: Focus on the mental health charity Mind in the UK.
    • Audio Clip: Sharing a video of Mind's work, with a translation of a Welsh sentence.
    • Cause and Effect Discussion
    • Insight through Music: Personal anecdote about creating a playlist for a long drive.
    • The role of personal actions in positive outcomes.
    • Life and Hoarding: Exploring causes of both positive and negative outcomes in life.
    • Factors influencing hoarding: Trauma, scarcity, and mental health challenges.
    • Behaviour evolution: Hoarding behaviours becoming normal over time.
    • Impact of Life Experiences
    • Examining past experiences and their contributions to current behaviours.
    • Considering past without judgment as a way to understand hoarding.
    • Facing Reality
    • Objective Assessment: Evaluating the current state of living conditions.
    • Navigating feelings like anger, sadness, and bitterness.
    • Future Implications
    • Positive Actions: How they can shape a better future.
    • Accountability and Responsibility: Recognising the impact of present actions.
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    30 m
  • #180 Arts and crafts and pretty, pretty things: artists, aesthetics and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall

    #180 Arts and crafts and pretty, pretty things: artists, aesthetics and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall
    Mar 14 2025
    • Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket
    • Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe
    • Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

    In this episode, I'm joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to explore a fascinating angle on hoarding: its artistic side. We'll tackle the connection between creativity and hoarding, including why so many people who hoard are into arts and crafts, and diving into how people who hoard might view their possessions in an unusually aesthetic light. Jan shares insights from both clinical experience and research, offering a fresh perspective on the parallels between art and accumulation. Whether you're a creative type or just curious about the psychology behind collecting, this conversation will give you plenty to think about.

    • Curiosity: Example of using curiosity to cope with pain.
    • Gratitude: Using the Finch app to practice gratitude daily.
    • Journaling: Imperfect journaling as a new approach to managing emotions.
    • Arty, Crafty Side of Hoarding
    • Trends seen in clients regarding art and hoarding
    • The challenge of managing craft supplies in people who hoard
    • Analysing Creativity and Hoarding
    • Comparison to detectives and acute perception
    • Consideration of feeling overlooked
    • Struggles with Crafting and Perfectionism
    • Challenges in starting and completing craft projects
    • Study on Artists and Hoarding
    • Traits shared by studio artists and people who hoard
    • ADHD and executive dysfunction parallels
    • Art and Beauty in Hoarding
    • Tendency to keep beautiful things
    • Struggles with displaying or appreciating collected items
    • Analysis of Andy Warhol's Accumulation
    • Discussion of Warhol’s collection as art vs. hoarding
    • Socioeconomic and behavioural aspects of collecting vs. hoarding
    • Aesthetics and Inclusion in Hoarding
    • Discussion of under-inclusiveness in categorising objects
    • Exploration of seeing beauty in ordinary objects
    • Potential Neurodevelopmental Aspects of Hoarding
    • Insights from MRI study
    • Brain regions potentially linked to hoarding behaviours
    • Using Art to Represent Hoarding Space
    • Artists using clutter and hoarding as themes in art
    • Questioning the nature of representing hoarding through art
    • Fear of Sterile and Soulless Homes
    • Addressing the fear that tidiness equals lack of personality
    • Discussing clutter core and maximising aesthetic displays
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    1 h y 17 m
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