Episodios

  • #206 Finding connection and community when hoarding feels isolating
    Nov 28 2025
    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Hoarding disorder can feel deeply isolating, and finding genuine connection isn’t always straightforward. In this episode, I talk about building community - both through hoarding-specific peer groups, online spaces, as well as simply nurturing friendships outside the home. I share practical ways to reconnect, set boundaries, and remind yourself that you deserve care and companionship, whatever your home looks like. The Relationship Between Hoarding and IsolationHow hoarding and isolation often accompany each otherFeelings of shame and concern about being misunderstoodSecrecy around hoarding, even from friendsImpact of loneliness on motivation and self-worthThe fundamental human need for connectionFinding Community: Hoarding-Specific SupportBenefits of speaking with others who “get” hoardingRelief and authenticity in hoarding-focused communitiesMisunderstandings and stigma around hoarding in general societyShared language and understanding in dedicated groupsTypes of Hoarding CommunitiesPeer support groups (both for people who hoard and for their loved ones)Differences between in-person and online groupsDehoarding accountability Zoom groups run by the hostTherapy groups led by professionalsOnline forums, social media groups, and subredditsChoosing a Support Group and Overcoming BarriersThe process of finding the right group for your needsNot all groups will fit; trial and error is normalCommon barriers: fear of judgment, privacy concerns, and feeling overwhelmedExploring online versus in-person options based on comfort and accessManaging triggers and emotional challenges when joining a groupBroadening Community Beyond HoardingImportance of connection outside of the hoarding contextHow hoarding can lead to progressive social isolationWays to set boundaries while still building relationshipsAlternative Sources of Community & ConnectionJoining hobby or interest-based groups (gardening, book clubs, crafts, etc.)Attending classes and workshops (in-person or online)Volunteering for shared causes and the benefits it offersEngaging in outdoor activity groups for physical and mental healthInvolvement in faith communities (acknowledging varied experiences)Nurturing and Rekindling FriendshipsThe value of maintaining and nurturing friendshipsStrategies for reconnecting with old friends (acknowledging awkwardness)Personal anecdotes demonstrating successful reconnectionMaintaining and Deepening Existing FriendshipsCreative ways of keeping in touch (memes, postcards, regular outings)Showing care and interest without inviting people into your homeImportance of honesty about personal limitationsNavigating difficult moments with friends through gentle outreachBuilding New FriendshipsThe importance of patience and consistent small effortsTransitioning from casual acquaintance to meaningful connectionReciprocity and mutual engagement as key to growing relationshipsNatural pace of friendship developmentThe Value of Self-CompassionBeing a good friend to yourself while seeking social connectionsAvoiding self-blame and catastrophic thinkingRecognising your own worth despite challenges related to hoardingTaking Small Steps Toward ConnectionEncouragement to take actionable, manageable steps to build communityCelebrating small efforts toward greater connectionRealistic expectations about gradual progressSuggestions for relevant previous podcast episodes on loneliness, accountability, and community Links Podcast ep 200: Things I wish I’d known: a letter to Episode One MePodcast ep 130: Loneliness and hoarding with Vassia Sarantopoulou: build human connections and combat hoarding-related shamePodcast ep 138: The Accountability Effect: Accountability, encouragement and mutual support when tackling hoarding and dehoardingCome to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.onlineTikTok: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here
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    1 h y 4 m
  • #205 How to recover without burning out: using pacing to find your dehoarding rhythm
    Nov 22 2025
    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Getting on top of hoarding disorder isn’t about powering through in one big go. It’s all about slowing down, pacing ourselves, and making sure our approach is actually sustainable, both for our bodies and our minds. In this episode, I talk honestly about the risks of burnout and emotional overload when we try to rush the process, and why giving ourselves permission to work in small, manageable steps is key. I’ll share practical ways to set our own pace, spot the warning signs of pushing too hard, and celebrate the progress we make - even when it’s slower than we’d like. The Nature of Recovery from Hoarding DisorderRecovery isn’t a race or a sprintPressure to fix things quickly—internal and externalDebunking the ‘quick fix’ mythImportance of sustainability in recoveryPhysical Aspects of DehoardingPhysical tasks: sorting, organising, donating, recyclingThe relentless and exhausting nature of physical dehoardingRisks of pushing too hard:Physical exhaustion and injuryImpact of chronic pain, health problems, disabilityDecision-making fatigue from exhaustionThe danger of creating a more overwhelming messRisks of BurnoutBurnout as a consequence of overexertionEmotional impact: quitting, avoidance, dreadDehoarding becomes associated with pain and sufferingEmotional Aspects of PacingUnique emotional relationships with possessionsAssociations, memories, grief, nostalgia, identityAnxiety and emotional flooding in decision-makingThe consequences of pushing past emotional limits:Panic, anxiety, ruminationAvoidance and procrastinationLoss of confidence in decisionsSwinging between extremes: keeping everything vs. discarding everythingThe Impact of Emotional FloodingDamaging relationship with recoveryRecovery viewed as painful or traumaticUnrealistic expectations for overnight emotional changePersistence of difficult emotional patterns despite progressNon-Linear Nature of ProgressUnderstanding setbacks and relapses as part of the processImportance of patience and realistic expectationsThe need to build new emotional and cognitive pathways over timePositive Signs of Emotional ProgressAbility to sit with discomfort and uncertaintyRecognising and managing patterns and triggersGradual increase in resilience and emotional toleranceRecognising Gradual Physical and Emotional RecoveryImproved recovery time after difficult sessionsGrowing confidence in handling challengesLearning that healing and progress are not linearPractical Approaches to PacingTime-based strategies:Working in manageable time chunksScheduling regular breaks and days offFocusing on sustainable, consistent sessions over marathonsDecision-based strategies:Limiting the number of decisions per sessionIdentifying easier vs. harder tasks or categoriesQuick wins to boost motivationChecking in with oneself physically and emotionally during workBuilding in soothing or rewarding activities post-sessionSigns of Sustainable PacingCompleting sessions feeling tired but not destroyedFeeling able to return for future sessions without dreadMaking decisions that feel good in retrospectEnjoyment and pride in gradually improving one’s spaceAdapting Pace to Life CircumstancesPace varies with health, mood, season, responsibilitiesFinding what works for the individual and the current season of lifeCompassionate RecoveryThe importance of self-compassion in setting and respecting limitsCelebrating progress and honouring our human experience Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.onlineTikTok: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here
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    39 m
  • #204 Am I my things? When possessions define us: the psychological connection between identity, self-concept and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall
    Nov 14 2025
    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ On this episode, I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to unpack how our possessions connect with our sense of identity and self-concept, and why letting go can feel so threatening for those of us who hoard. We talk through how objects hold meaning, memories, and dreams for the future, and what it looks like to build a stronger sense of self without clinging to things. If you’ve ever felt like discarding something meant losing a part of yourself, you definitely want to listen to this one. We break down exactly why that fear happens and where to start. A plant pot associated with negative experiences.Discussion of emotional and aesthetic reasons for keeping vs. discarding.Objects “glowering" at us.Identity and Self-Concept in HoardingDefinition of identity and self-concept.Possessions and Sense of IdentityThe psychological process of possessions intertwining with identity.How this differs from typical sentimental attachment.Retention itself (rather than use or display) as a meaning-making act in hoarding.The difference between identity (roles, characteristics, life story) and self-concept (beliefs about self, worth, and abilities).Typical patterns seen in people with hoarding disorder: fragmented identity, externalised identity via objects.Psychological Fusion Between Identity and PossessionsThe concept of "identity objects" — how discarding items feels like losing part of oneself.Objects as external proof and storage for identity, memory, and meaning.Safety of objects over human relationships.The cycle of validation and shame in hoarding.Pathways to Possession-Identity FusionChildhood experiences and boundary violations leading to control needs.Identity confusion and external markers for self-definition.Psychological ownership: objects as self-extension.Functions of retained objects—proof of past, present, and future self.Anthropomorphism and obligations to objects.Executive function challenges: objects as external memory aids.Perfectionism and fantasy identity protection.Influence of cultural materialism and marketing.The Fear of Losing Identity When Discarding Objects"Throwing away part of myself."Three psychological routes for ownership: control, intimate knowledge, and personal investment.The role of control and avoidance of uncertainty.The painful admission of poor judgment (e.g., unworn clothing) when discarding.Possessions as Identity MarkersRetaining items from past roles (retired teachers, old job materials).Holding onto objects representing hopes for future identity.Objects as evidence for important life chapters, relationships, or personal history.Psychological needs these objects serve and when that becomes problematic.Books as Proof of Intellectual IdentityDiscussion of books held as evidence of being intellectual, regardless of actual reading.Exploration of how objects can become substitutes for action and risk.Therapeutic approach to shifting identity building from possession to action.Community and Connection in the Hoarding JourneyThe loneliness and isolation frequently felt by people who hoard.The importance of community, connection, and peer support, including podcast listeners and accountability sessions.Effects of increased openness and connection on identity.Identity Shifts During Dehoarding and RecoveryChanges in identity during the process of recovery and letting go.Building new narratives — sometimes research or recovery itself becomes an identity.Increased connection and belonging through shared experience and vulnerability.Maintaining Identity Without Excessive PossessionStrategies for building identity through actions, creativity, and lived experience.Selecting representative or truly meaningful items rather than keeping everything.Observing how "non-hoarding" individuals make decisions about sentimental items.Discomfort and growth opportunities in sharing one's journey while still in progress.The value of authenticity and vulnerability.First Steps for Listeners Fearing Loss of Self Through DiscardingAcknowledging that fear is rational and understandable.Suggesting mindful observation of attachment thoughts.Testing beliefs by gentle action, e.g., creative tasks with what is already available.Finding supportive people for accountability and encouragement.Reflective work on personal values — building identity from the inside.Reassurance that identity predates possessions and is not dependent on them.Objects as scaffolding rather than the core of one’s identity.Encouragement to trust oneself and to start building stability from within. Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormDr Jan Eppingstall at Stuffologyhttps://www.facebook.com/stuffologyconsulting/https://...
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    1 h y 21 m
  • #203 How to declutter when you can't reach your shelves
    Nov 7 2025
    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ If you’re facing the frustration of knowing where your things belong but just can’t access your shelves or cupboards because there’s too much in the way, this episode is for you. I break down why piling things up with good intentions doesn’t actually solve anything, why decluttering comes before organising, and share honest strategies for making actual progress when your home feels overwhelming. Barriers to Organising Due to Inaccessible ShelvesE.g. wanting to keep clothes but can’t access the wardrobeEmotional impact: frustration and the cycle of blocked organisationLayers and spread of clutter that block storage areasThe Vicious Cycle of Clutter and OrganisationHow inaccessible shelves lead to piles that further compound the problemThe emotional fallout: self-blame and shameReframing the struggle as a symptom of hoarding disorder’s progression, not personal failureCoping Strategies & Common PitfallsTemporary solutions (bags/boxes for items meant for inaccessible areas) and associated risks (forgetting what’s inside)The “out of sight, out of mind” issueOverestimating the capacity of designated spaces for stored itemsImperfect Progress and Starting Where You AreImportance of starting without perfect access or planningEmotional and practical aspects of starting with what’s immediately availableThe danger of over-planning and the value of taking imperfect actionBuilding Momentum: Small Steps and AccessibilityClearing even small spaces leads to broader clearing effortsHow minor improvements enable further progressCore Issue: Volume Over OrganisationIdentifying excessive possessions as the root problem, not lack of organisationEmphasis that organising without decluttering only rearranges clutterProfessional advice: dehoarding and decluttering must come before organisingThe Trap of Reorganisation Without DeclutteringThe concept of “churn”—moving items around versus actual removalHow adding more storage increases clutter, not solves itReal progress comes from discarding items and opening spacesRegaining Access and Realistic OrganisationRegaining access to storage areas requires reducing overall volumeSetting realistic expectations for what storage spaces can holdOrganising solutions are secondary to declutteringPractical Strategies for DeclutteringPicking a strategic spot or simply starting wherever you areFocusing efforts (entrances, exits, specific goals, categories)Opening neglected bags/boxes and revealing new prioritiesBreaking down overwhelming tasks and celebrating small winsSafety ConsiderationsAvoiding dangerous physical manoeuvres to reach blocked areasImportance of asking for help and maintaining physical safetyMindset and MomentumRecognising and celebrating progress, no matter the sizePositive reinforcement to build motivation for ongoing declutteringThe Hard Truth: Volume Reduction is EssentialAcknowledging that reaching shelves requires lowering the overall volumePractical details (where to put items temporarily) less important than reducing quantity Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.onlineTikTok: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here
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    27 m
  • #202 "Acting as if" for hoarding disorder
    Nov 1 2025
    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In this episode, I talk about the idea of "acting as if" - taking action before you fully believe you can, and using that to chip away at compulsive hoarding behaviours. I share stories from my own life, including how channelling others’ confidence helped me move through paralysing shyness, and how small steps can help shift thinking around possessions and habits. It’s all about behaving your way to progress, even when your feelings haven’t caught up yet. Listen in to find out more, including how to go about it without burning out or being retraumatised. Introduction to "Acting As If"Explanation of the “acting as if” concept: taking action before you truly believe in itShyness in childhood, learning to appreciate autumn)Psychological Basis for "Acting As If"Theory that action creates motivationContrast with waiting for motivation or readinessClarification: distinction from toxic positivityApplication to Hoarding DisorderConnection between repeated cycles and hoarding behaviourHow new actions create evidence and lead to belief changesImportance of breaking cycles of hoarding through behaviour changePractical Strategies for Acting As IfImagining how another person (someone without hoarding disorder) would actActing as if items are already gone to help with psychological closureActing as if you trust the process or expert adviceActing as if you deserve a nicer home and greater self-worthActing as if letting go of items won’t be as painful as fearedActing as if you can tolerate discomfortCommon Obstacles and ChallengesFeeling like a fraud or being inauthenticNew actions feeling unnaturalComparison to physiotherapy exercises: discomfort as a sign of changeIntensification of difficult feelings and memoriesPanic, grief, anger, fearNavigating emotional responses and learning from themSeparating intense emotions from actual dangerDistinguishing between productive discomfort and harmful pushingProductive discomfort vs. burnout or retraumatisationImportance of support and learning moderationSlipping up after success with “acting as if”Giving yourself permission to start againUsing setbacks as data, not failureBenefits of Acting As IfReduction of analysis paralysis and cognitive overloadAchieving small wins and momentumDisproving fears through new evidenceGradual adaptation of beliefs and feelings to new behavioursBrain’s capacity to notice new patterns and adaptTips and Encouragement for Trying “Acting As If”Suggests listeners identify one area to test acting as ifReassurance that belief is not required to beginDetails about the Chirp Your Home decluttering course Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.onlineTikTok: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here
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    44 m
  • REMIX: Hoarding disorder, Diogenes syndrome or squalor? With Dr Jan Eppingstall
    Oct 24 2025
    • Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket
    • Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe
    • Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

    I am full of germs and even huskier than usual, so this week, enjoy this fascinating conversation with Dr Jan Eppingstall, where we talk about hoarding disorder vs Diogenes syndrome vs squalor vs disposophobia vs syllogomania vs Plyushkin Syndrome vs Havisham Syndrome!

    Phew!

    You can get the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-116-hoarding-vs-squalor-vs-diogenes-syndrome-with-dr-jan-eppingstall/

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    44 m
  • #201 The myth of being prepared for every eventuality: how hoarding can make us less ready for emergencies
    Oct 17 2025
    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Many of us hoard because we believe we’re making ourselves ready for anything life throws at us, but the reality is that no amount of “just in case” clutter can truly prepare us for every scenario. In this episode, I break down the myth of preparedness, explore how hoarding can actually make us less equipped for real emergencies, and talk about why resourcefulness matters much more than having piles of stuff. The Myth of Being Prepared for Every EventualityExploration of the comforting idea behind keeping possessions to be “ready” for anything.Recognition that life is unpredictable and impossible to fully prepare for.Infinite Possibilities vs. RealitiesDiscussion of how each item is kept for imagined infinite scenarios.The logical impossibility of keeping items for every scenario (need for infinite space and money).Emotional and anxiety-driven decision-making despite logical understanding.Specificity of Items and Mismatched PreparationExample of items with specific uses that don’t match actual needs when situations arise.The paradox of saving more items not solving the mismatch issue.Emphasis that saving more increases clutter but doesn’t increase preparedness.Sensible Preparation vs. Over-PreparationDifferentiation between healthy, reasonable preparation (e.g., first aid kit) and hoarding excess.The importance of context when deciding what to keep.The Role of ResourcefulnessReal-life anecdotes (tampon as nosebleed fix, ballpoint pen tracheotomy) illustrating resourcefulness over mere possession.Recognition of creativity and adaptability as coping strategies.Importance of improvisation and problem-solving in handling emergencies.Asking for Help and Community SupportDiscussion of the difficulty and value in seeking help from others.Mention of the podcast’s accountability sessions as a supportive community resource.Irony of Over-Preparedness: How Hoarding Reduces Actual PreparednessAnalysis of how clutter inhibits effective response to emergencies (e.g., inability to locate items, blocked exits).Emotional and mental burden caused by excessive possessions.Emotional Drivers of Hoarding and Over-PreparednessExploration of the underlying anxieties and emotional needs that drive hoarding.Misconception that acquiring more will eventually soothe anxiety.Discussion about the lack of true satisfaction or security from excessive possessions.The Illusion of VindicationOccasional moments when a hoarded item becomes useful, creating a sense of justification.Cost-benefit analysis: space, annoyance, energy, and opportunity cost versus occasional convenience.Distinguishing Between Convenience and NecessityRecognition that the vast majority of saved items are never useful.Importance of resourcefulness and adaptability over keeping every possible item.Everyday Adaptation and CopingExamples of daily improvisation and making do (e.g., using coins as screwdrivers, managing without umbrellas).Emphasis on resilience and ability to cope with small inconveniences.The Trap of Occasional JustificationAnalogy to gambling: occasional “wins” reinforce maladaptive habits.Warning against letting rare vindications justify continued hoarding.Embracing “Good Enough” and Trusting Future CapabilitiesAcceptance that total preparedness is impossible.Focus on nourishment, present needs, and trusting future resilience and creativity.The freeing power of letting go of the need for complete preparedness.True security and preparedness come from adaptability and trust, not material accumulation. Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.onlineTikTok: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here
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    33 m
  • REMIX: Overcome overspending and compulsive shopping with Paige Pritchard
    Oct 10 2025
    • Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket
    • Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe
    • Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

    This week, let's revisit a brilliant conversation I had with money coach Paige Pritchard all about overspending, compulsive shopping, and resisting the urge to binge buy.

    Get the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-127-overcoming-overspending-with-paige-pritchard-money-coach/

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    1 h y 16 m