#187 What if we focused less on self-care and more on self-nurture to progress our hoarding recovery?

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Self-care gets a lot of airtime these days, but I’ve started rethinking what it actually means, especially when you’re struggling with hoarding disorder. In this episode, I talk about why marketed, consumer-driven “self-care” just adds more pressure, and why nurturing yourself with compassion, connection, and practical routines is far more effective. Plus, I share some genuinely helpful, low-cost ways to support yourself without adding to the clutter - or your to-do list. Self-Care in Modern TimesEvolution of the meaning of “self-care”:The older, practical definition (basic hygiene, nourishment)Current consumer-driven, extravagant interpretationsCritique of modern self-care commercialisationChallenges of Hoarding and Mental Health StrugglesEmotional toll of hoarding disorderStress, anxiety, depression, trauma, griefThe exhausting process of trying to “fix” thingsDaily stressors of living in a hoardFeelings of failure, constant reminders, adrenaline spikes from unexpected visitors, tripping over itemsThe Real Purpose of Self-CareBalancing negative emotions (stress, grief, trauma) with activities that nurture the soulEvaluating popular self-care adviceThe problem with universal, commercialised recommendationsImportance of individualised, inward-looking approachesIntroducing the Concept of "Self-Nurture"How self-nurture differs from self-careGreater compassion, sustainability, and personalisationEmphasis on looking inwards for individual needsPractical examples of self-nurturing activitiesThe Pitfalls of Commercialised Self-CareThe “shoulds” culture and guilt surrounding unmet self-care standardsSurface-level versus meaningful acts of careHow marketed solutions often do not address real needsGuilt and shame when unable to practice recommended self-care (especially for those who hoard)Consumer Culture and Self-CareSelf-care as a commodified experience: Encouragement to buy unnecessary productsHow this affects people who hoardRisk of exacerbating clutter by acquiring more as “self-care”Focus on external fixes rather than internal wellbeingThe Benefits of Self-NurtureSelf-nurture as inexpensive or freeFocus on activities rather than acquisitionsFinding joy or restoration in simple practices (e.g., using what you have, accessing the library, running without specialised gear)Compassionate Self-Nurture in PracticeAsking internal questions about core needs (physical, emotional, psychological)Treating oneself as one would treat a person they loveEmphasis on gentle, non-critical, incremental progressDrinking water for wellbeing rather than obligationTime in nature, connecting with friends, creativity, self-acceptanceBuilding Emotional Security and GentlenessEstablishing emotional security as a core needManaging self-criticism and reaching out for connection despite anxietyCelebration of small wins and progressValidating and acknowledging difficult feelings with compassionEvaluating and Choosing Nurturing ActivitiesKey questions to ask: “Will this nurture me emotionally, psychologically, or physically?”Differentiating between genuine needs and justifying unnecessary purchasesAvoidance of reinforcing negative patterns through acquisitionDeveloping a Personal Toolbox for Self-NurtureGathering and customising strategies that workRoutines and coping mechanismsTaking stock of helpful techniques, personalising approachesRecognising and valuing unique sources of restorationTop TipDIY, low-cost tip for cleaning the dishwasher with household itemsEncouragement to take any step, however small, towards self-nurture Links The "feeling your feelings" episodeEpisodes talking about the inner critic: with Steve Chapman; about the song that changed everything for me; and about making mistakesCome to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @[e-mail]: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast