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Zombie Lake

Still Alive Series, Book One
Narrated by: S.W. Salzman
Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (121 ratings)
Regular price: $19.95
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Publisher's Summary

Mo Collins, the reluctant hero, has sailed around the country on board the replica pirate ship, the Viva Ancora, and now he finds himself only miles from his childhood home. But now the world has gone to hell. Hordes of naked, blue, biting zombies have flooded the now dead Alabama lake town. Mo and his only surviving shipmate, Crow, are surviving. They fish and watch the monsters roam the night; seeking untainted flesh and leaving a disgusting mess in their wake. But when a lone survivor stumbles upon Mo and Crow they gain a new crew member but also find much needed direction. The new comer, Smokes, will change Mo's view of this zombie infested world forever. 

As reality mimics fiction, an ever growing cast of crazy characters play out their role carving out an island sanctuary in a plague ridden world. The Expert, The Tech, The Oracle, The Sacrifice, The Old Friend, plus many more... Join us on this wild ride where the fish bite, the Zombies bite…sometimes life bites. 

Welcome aboard, friend, to Zombie Lake.

©2016, 2017 Javan Bonds (P)2018 Javan Bonds

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Zompocalypse? Better make a run to the Walmart!

My first act is to apologize to our Author, Mr. Bonds. I got this book awhile ago, and have had one heck of a time getting around to it. Not that I didn't want to, but sometimes real life takes precedence over fictional undead, not matter how great the premise. An I have to say, this is premise I have seen a hundred times. Zombie apocalypse hits, survivors hole up or hide out until they are forced to make a supply run or go somewhere safer. How could he make this new?

Well, his characters are so well written, even though they aer just plays on stereotypes, that you want to hang out with them and pet their monkey. Their interplay and intereaction with one another is peerless, and the humor is priceless. You will laugh yourself stupid listening to this book. I always say that a good narrator takes a good story and makes it great, and a great narrator can make a great story a classic. That is completely the case here. Salzman's take on these character's is funny, refreshing, and believable. He also tells the story like he was reading from his own journal, not the MC's.

That is something I generally despise, books that are written as a journal, I never have liked them and tend to shy away from them. Truth be told, if I had known that this was a journal book, I'dve most likely skipped it, but I didn't and I didn't. Now, I still don't like that format, but I love this book. It is fun, fast paced, and fulla surprises that make you think that Bonds is brilliant. I am not a fan of the cover, it does nothing to pull me into the story or would make me stop if I was looking for something new. Nor does the title, so I am glad that I took a moment to actually look into this book. You will too. It is funny, frightening, and freaking brilliant. Don't miss out!!!! Even though I did receive a promo code for this review it in no way influenced my considerations of the material, and in fact, inspired me to be more honest. Getting a code generally makes me harsher as a reviewer as I am more often concerned what someone like Me will decide based on my review.

If you are a fan of this kind of review, and love LITRPG books, check out the Litrpg Audiobook podcast on Youtube and a variety of other places.

If this review helped, please press the YES below. Thank you immensely!!!

10 of 10 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Fun!

Mo Collins works on a replica pirate ship, the Viva Ancora, when the dead start to walk. Only him and his shipmate Crow are alive aboard, as all the rest of the crew went on land to have fun. Now they spend their days fishing and watching the blue skinned, naked zombies do what they do. Having sailed around the country, Mo finds himself only miles from home. Stumbling upon another survivour, Smokes, Mo has his mind made up to search for his family. What follows is a rollicking good time.

This was so much fun!! It's a fresh and unique look at the typical zombie book. Mo is writing his journal, which I liked, but the fun really started happening when Smokes came. He was one heck of a funny character!! I loved his take on the zombies and how he narrates it to Mo!! You will have to read the book to understand, but it was a unique way to handle the outbreak!!

The plot was fast paced and entertaining. I found myself laughing out loud a lot of times. The characters were fun and well written. It's quite a diverse group too which I liked. I liked that the author poked fun of the zombie troupes and made sure we knew that a zombie poops!! Lol.

In all, a highly entertaining read. I'm excited to see where the author takes it from here.

S.W. Salzman had a great range of tones and voices for the characters and brought each of them to life. I loved how he did Smokes because he was such a colourful character!! It was a great performance and I hope he reads the next one.

I was given this audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review. This in no way affected nor influenced my thoughts

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Great Hilariously funny Book!

This book was outstanding. The main Character had me laughing from the get go. He says he is stupid and then throws out phrases and words that make you rethink his stupidity. The author did a great job with all the characters they had me in stitches. I loved this book and think it would be a great addition to anyone's library. The narrarator did a fantastic job bringing the characters to life. I couldn't wait to hear what he ease gonna say next. The accent was pretty good as well, being from the south I sometimes find it difficult to listen to fake southern accents but this narrarator pulled it off without a problem.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Brian
  • Niagara Falls, NY
  • 07-10-18

I Haven't Laughed At A Zombie Book... Ever

4.25 out of 5 stars

I Haven't Laughed At A Zombie Book... Ever (Until Now)

I'd read a few other reviews (even just titles) from a few of my other reviewer friends before jumping into this one.  All of them talked about laughing throughout the book.  I knew to expect it, but it still caught me off guard how randomly funny this book was.

Zombie Lake tells the story of Mo Collins (no, not the MadTV star and don't mention that unless you want to get punched in the face by him) and his groups trials and tribulations as they learn of a new zombie-like plague hitting the town they are docked at on their replica pirate ship, the Viva Ancora.

Along the way, we meet other survivors including The Expert, The Tech, The Oracle, The Sacrifice, The Old Friend plus many more.  Seriously, they were all explained out by The Oracle - and every time he would "predict" the next scene or next person they would meet - Mo's reaction would kill me. It really made me (like Mo) realize that most of the Post-Apocalyptic books I read follow and almost exact plot map.  Not all in the same order - but they all seem to hit it.

The movie trivia/quotes/similarities were awesome to a movie-lover like me.  I really enjoyed when they came to the scene near the church and they talked about other zombie movies.  Or when they would go anywhere and Smokes would basically tell them that because he was black, he wouldn't go in first because they always died first in every "bad horror film".

Bonds really understands both his audience and the post-apocalyptic genre and allows that to shine in Zombie Lake.  I thought that Mo, Smokes, and crew were incredibly enjoyable to follow along especially in the format of a journal that "if you're reading this, then I must have died" format.  It just made the story easier to dive in and out of.

Overall, a funny and enjoyable post-apocalyptic zombie tale that has some new parts in it that I've never seen or read before (zombie poop for example).  And a refreshing take on the genre.

The narration, by S.W. Salzman was good.  At first, I was worried about the accent.  The character is supposed to be a slow-talking southern drawl dude - and I think that Salzman hit it on the head without making the book unlistenable.  After the first chapter or so I found myself getting into a rhythm with his narration and it became part of the story. I requested a copy of this audiobook and it has not affected my review at all.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Zombies & Rednecks meet in Wal-Mart

OMG, I freaking love this book! I have not laughed so hard while reading/listening to a book in a long, long time! I'm pretty sure that I snorted Coke out of my nose a few times (and, no, I don't mean Coca-Cola.....it was Mountain Dew!).

Javan Bonds has absolutely nailed what I have always pictured the Zompoc to be. Our protagonist, Elmo Collins (better known as Mo) decides to write a journal to chronicle his day to day life after the PV's have taken over. He can't believe that he isn't seeing tons of dead bodies or zombies when he ventures off the replica pirate ship where he works. Instead, he encounters people who seem to be fellow members of a movie cast!

I love all of the movie/TV references throughout the book. And, Smokes is a walking stereotype that you just have to love! You have an old friend in Bradley, who is a paraplegic complete with his service monkey, Mary. Mr. Bonds throws caution to the wind and mentions just about every stereotype you can think of in his descriptions of his characters. I love that he doesn't seem to care about being PC (a rare thing in today's world!).

Being from the South, I especially enjoyed the scene in Wal-Mart, where our crew goes to find supplies. Of course, if you are from the South, you know that you ALWAYS meet somebody you know when you go to WM! Our group encounters Mo's old love (who he was too shy to really pursue) and the local drunken redneck, Walt, who is only there for the beer.

I could go on and on, but you just have to listen to this book to really appreciate all of the fun! S.W. Salzman does an absolutely amazing job with the accents and dialects throughout the book. I plan to continue this series (and reread this book often) and I know that I will always hear his voice when I do.

If you love Zombie books and want to read a unique one, grab this one & never look back! Great job, Javan! Keep up the good work & I'll meet you at the Wal-Mart!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Just Different enought to be intreging

This is my first from Javan, his writing style to me is a southern view. which for me took a few pages to get relaxed enough to relax and let the story flow. I am enjoying my immersion into this for me a new style. I do like the face it was time well spent getting to know everyone. I Feel that the next book will get to the meat of the story. I like the southern laid back approach the fact that most character introductions having already been mostly introduced they will start gelling with each other more quickly get to the meat of where Javan wants to take us. I am looking forward to where he leads us.. I think this will be a good series for me

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Zombie Lake-review by Literallylovesliterature

Ok so as usual...

[I have been given a free copy of this audio book in return for an unbiased review finished in a set time. I am in no way affiliated with the author/narrator/publisher]

Now, that is out of the way..

THIS IS NOT YOUR USUAL ZOMBIE/APOC...For me the narration of S.W. Salzman brings a range of voices for the characters in a way that you can tell them apart, but, it's not done in a way to seem "forced"; the female characters do not have a tonal inflection change, but you can hear the difference between "Hammer" and "Smokes" talking without being lost in translation. He does seem to add a slight over punctuation in breaks in a sentence for grammar, however that seems to be the same for most narrators reading a for a new author.

The zombies, or "peeves" as this book describes them, are a blue tinged cannibalistic humanoid, who are weary of light for a current unknown reason. This makes it easier for Javan Bonds to move the story forward by allowing characters "free roam" of the city during daylight hours. At first glance there would seem to be some "plot holes" to the story, i.e. zombies who do not like sunlight, but, upon further reading, you understand his use of this as a way to give himself time to write in a better "zombie antagonist" in his plague victims so it can be explained to the reader as the story continues. Kind of like, making it up as he goes along, which I enjoy immensely, since it really keeps us ZOMPOC veterans guessing what's coming next.

My favorite of Javan Bond's particular writing style is to cast an "all knowing prophetic character" in the guise of an IMMENSELY fat, dope peddling black man who sounds like Chris Tucker. I loved this idea, and his use of the character to explain "how zombie stories usually play out" for the inexperienced ZOMPOC reader. With that being said, this book is also RIDDLED with obscure references to well known, and simultaneously, not very well known media culture. In the first 10 chapters, you get references to: Dawn of the dead (original and reboot), Monkey Shines, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, Magic the Gathering TCG, the song "Red Solo Cups", even a very well known news anchor.

The protagonist is played out by the author writing journal entries ala Mike Talbot (if you know who that is perfect, if not, you are SORELY missing out). This gives the author a chance to really put himself into the book by going off on diatribes about situations at hand and explaining them off in the most hilarious and sarcastic ways. So far, every entrance scene for a character has been as remarkably remembered as much as "Some asshole is licking my peephole!" Again, if you know to what I am referring, you will love this book.

Ok, with all of that being said...my only real CONs to this book are in the eyes of an inexperienced reader. On the surface this book can be taken for "racist, crass, uneducated, and weird" however, as a long time fan of both zombies and APOC series'; I have to say that this story is still refreshingly unique and honestly modern. The other CON is for me personally, it took me several times of re-listening to the same couple beginning chapters to get into S.W. Salzman's reading style and cadence. At first is is a bit choppy, it sounds a little like stumbling over the sentence structure. In retrospect, that problem is not a big one as I have heard this begin, and disappear in the same book; at most it lasts for the first book or 2. If you give yourself the time to relisten to the beginning once or twice, you will thoroughly enjoy the rest of the book.

Honestly, I have a hard time giving a book anything over 4 stars unless it is really amazing, or, it has made me realize something about myself I never thought of before. Without doing the latter, this book exceeds my expectations to the former.

Story: 5/5
Writing style: 5/5
Narration: 5/5

If you like:

Zombies, post apocalypse, gender reverse roles, sarcasm, whitty humor, fat dope dealing prophets, trained (possibly in some lethal ninja combat art) helper monkies, gratuitous racial and homosexual slurs, seriously in depth character building, one eyed survivalist pirates, and a unique take on the end of the world. You NEED... to pick up this book!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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What a great idea! I loved it!<br />

I enjoy zompoc, but I really enjoy something new and fresh with interesting characters. Zombie Lake more than fulfills that with, dry humor, sarcasm, family humor and the humor that friends truly understand. There's so much about this book that if you are from the South makes it even funnier.
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The take on this story is that what's happening to them is too much like a movie. Well, of course, they're all like that, right? So, the author Javan Bonds makes that the story. There is one character that originally pointed it out so he's the Oracle. He tells them what will be the next kind of person to join the group. what kind of major events to watch for, etc. And has spot on. it is a funny book with characters you can't help but like.

I was shocked when it ended. I wanted it to go on! Can't wait for the 2nd one to come out on Audible!

Great job Javan!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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A+++

AWESOME first showing from this young writer. Art imitating life imitating art or something like that, with ZOMBIES. Can't wait for the next installment

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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It was worth the wait!

I've wanted to read this book for sometime, but it was only in written form. So like many others I asked the author if/when the book will be here on Audible. So glad I did!
Buckle up! it's gonna be a bumpy ride! This book is fantastic! Fast paced, great cast of characters including a hysterical PROTAGONIST ( I LOVE the way Smoke says that!) There are buck naked blue Zombies and lots of RedNecks!
I thought S.W. Salzman was PERFECT for this book. Thank You Javan, I'm SO looking forward to MORE!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • jane dyer
  • 05-20-18

Funny and clever

I laughed out loud within a few minutes of the start of the book and thought 'ok, I'm going to like this'. The narrator has good tone, pace and a nice even volume. S.W. Salzman makes it easy to tell when the narrative belongs to different characters and although the accent took a bit of getting used to (I think that has more to do with me being British than anything else) I found it an easy listen.

As for the story, I found some parts hilarious and I can totally relate to Mo. As for Smokes, well, you can't help but love the guy. There's a good theory about the zombies and the fact that Javan Bonds takes the mickey out of the usual stereotypes is done really well.

If you have a long drive or a day to yourself, give this a go. I really enjoyed it.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • michael w.
  • 02-08-19

wow

can't say much more than wow. the story is really good and pokes fun at the genre. the southern style twang of the narrator makes this all the more enjoyable to a point of laughing out loud.

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  • Annikki Hankvist
  • 01-22-19

Loved it!

This was a great listen, and a nice change from all the other cookie cutter zombie novels. Despite obviously following the same outline as others, it brought something new to the table which I thoroughly enjoyed. Armed with a rare sense of humor Javan Bonds tells the story of an ordinary guy and his ragtag group of friends just trying not to get eaten or bombarded with feces. The only thing I have to complain about is the accent, which sometimes causes trouble for a non-native English speaker like me, but that's when the speed button comes in handy. I look forward to the next installment!

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Michelle Sewell
  • 12-18-18

Absolutely genius!

I wasn’t sure what to expect from this book. I was surprised by the Southern accent and it took a little while to get used to (as I’m in the U.K. so not an accent I usually hear).

However, this book is excellent & hilarious. There was multiple laugh out loud moments which there usually isn’t in a Zompoc novel. I love the take the author used....very unusual but it works!!

The narrator is excellent~has to be the best I have experienced in an audible book.

This book was very addictive for me. I usually only listen to books a couple times per week~usually when I’m ironing & I read the rest of the time. I found myself listening to this books whenever o had a moment to.

I hope that you enjoy this book as much as I have.

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  • Natasja
  • 12-03-18

Awesome

The book started off great and with quite a few laughs and a awesome narrator.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Jon Spielman
  • 11-24-18

Superb!

I loved it! Excellent cast of characters, and a great story! Narration is awesome. So much fun to listen too!

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    5 out of 5 stars
  • deafmick
  • 06-26-18

Love it when is book 2 out

I give this audio book 100% all i can say how long to the next one is out on audio

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  • Debbie
  • 06-13-18

Entertaining escape from reality

This is a fun escape from reality listen. I enjoyed the characters, I found the heavy accent took a bit to get used too but once it became “normal” I moved on from that distraction. Overall a really entertaining and enjoyable listen, looking forward to seeing where this story will take me.