Your Sexually Addicted Spouse

How Partners Can Cope and Heal

By: Barbara Steffens, Marsha Means

Narrated by: Randye Kaye

Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins

Publisher's summary

Sexual addictions and compulsive sexual behavior are growing societal problems, with as many as three to six percent of the world population affected. Your Sexually Addicted Partner shatters the stigma and shame that millions of men and women carry when their partners are sexually addicted. They receive little empathy for their pain, which means they suffer alone, often shocked and isolated by the trauma. Barbara Steffens' groundbreaking new research shows that partners are not codependents, but post-traumatic stress victims, while Marsha Means' personal experience provides insights, strategies, and critical steps to recognize, deal with, and heal partners of sexually addicted relationships. Firsthand accounts and stories reveal the impact of this addiction on survivors' lives. Chapters end with "On a Personal Note" questions and propose new paths that lead from trauma to empowerment, health, and hope.

©2009 Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means (P)2017 Tantor

yes!! very insightful and helpful!

makes you feel like someone gets it and can explain the craziness in your life.

Great book

Great book. Very helpful. A must read for spouses who are in a relationship with a sex addict. Up to date info.

Amazing explanation of what's a trauma

Helped a lot to understand a trauma based recovery of a sex addict partner. Thanks

Best book to read if your partner is a sex addict.

Best book to assure YOU ARE NOT CRAZY YOU HAVE BEEN HURT AND DECEIT BY THE PERSON YOU TRUSTED MOST IN YOUR LIFE!

Finally.

I first encountered sex addiction in 2015 when I came across messages in my husband’s phone from call girls. That uncovered a long, long history of porn and sex addiction. He was not the man I thought I had married. We had three children, and I was in the middle of finishing my bachelors degree. I ended up going into counseling and this therapist concluded (as in actually TOLD me) to separate from my husband. Instead, I decided to think about it some, observe my husband’s “efforts” to seek help — yeah, it was half-hearted attempt to placate me — and in 2016 he unexpectedly DIED.
Now my sex addiction partner grief hot overshadowed by WIDOW grief! This time the PTSD caused me to stop eating, sleeping and caring. I had a lot of support from the community when they heard of my husband’s death.
Fast forward, I am in a new relationship (with a widower no less) and a few months ago he drops a BOMBSHELL on me. He, too, has a sex addiction. Part of me wants to run as far away as possible because I have seen this pain before, part of me is even more lonely than the first time (who will understand that I love him and want to stay?) and part of me feels like alright... now is the time I will actually deal with my trauma. Life is not getting any shorter. My boyfriend is very proactive about getting himself help, and he was the one who admitted to me, unprompted, that he struggles with this.
I begin this new heading with this book. It helps. I continue speaking to my therapist and now bring her a new issue.

Very Helpful

Very helpful and informative. The partner of a sex addict should never feel responsible, less than, or ashamed because of their partner's behavior. This behavior is traumatizing and should not be minimized.

good guide to how one can begin the steps of jrali

I appreciated the validation of trauma there partner goes through explained in this book and the steps you can take to begin to heal from that trauma

Finally a book which addresses my marriage

This book covered so much of the porn and sexually addicted lifestyle and in a very clear and easy to understand way. I am in a healthy marriage now, but survived 20 years of abuse stemming from my former husband’s sexual addiction.

The only negative I can report was that it seemed to lean more toward the wife staying with her sexually addicted spouse and depending on God to heal him while she stays.

It is the exception and not the rule that your sexually addicted spouse will seek help and turn to God. It was healthier for me and my children to turn him over to his depravity, give him to God, and let him go. Both people have to want to change the marriage; not just one.

Good listen

Gave different views, and a path to start my healing as a victim of addict

Great

This book was super helpful I just found out last week my husband is a sex addict (chronic masterbation and porn) and it’s been a very painful process and it helps me not feel alone and gave me some great tools