Without You

A Memoir of Love, Loss, and the Musical Rent

By: Anthony Rapp

Narrated by: Anthony Rapp

Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins

Publisher's Summary

Anthony Rapp captures the passion and grit of the theater world as he recounts his life-changing experience in the original cast of the Pulitzer Prize-winning musical Rent.

When Rent opened to thunderous acclaim off-Broadway, Rapp knew that something truly extraordinary had taken shape. But even as people celebrated the show's success, they were also mourning the sudden death of the show's creator.

When Anthony's mom began to lose her battle with cancer, he struggled to balance his theater career with his responsibility to his family. Here, Anthony recounts both the show's huge success and his overwhelming loss. He also shares his experiences discovering his sexuality, the tension it created with his mother, and his struggle to gain her acceptance.

©2006 Anthony Rapp; Published by arrangement with Irene Skolnick Literary Agency
"Add It Up" written by Gordon Gano ©1980, Gorno Music (ASCAP). Used with permission from Gorno Music (Administered by Alan N. Skiena, Esq.)
"Waitin' for the Light to Shine" written by Roger Miller ©1985, All rights administered by Sony/ATV Music Publishing.
(P)2006 Blackstone Audiobooks

Critic Reviews

"Absorbing, warm, and hopeful, the book celebrates a man, his work, and a generation struggling with AIDS but determined to survive." (Publishers Weekly)

Touching stories of loss

Some reviews here complain about Anthony Rapp being self-centered and shallow. I find this couldn't be further from the truth.
This book is the story about one man's experience with loss. The loss of a grandfather he barely knew. The loss of Jonathan Larson, friend and creator of the musical that Anthony had seen come to fruition. His own mother's cancer.
While he is very concerned with his own feelings through many points in this book, he displays remarkable honesty. Showing his anger at himself, at those around him. He talks about the kinds of things that we all go through when we suffer great loss, but are afraid to admit to.
He isn't always portrayed in the best light, but it is truly an honest look at the emotions and questions the author has through times that are both exciting and difficult.

Sensibly Sentimental

I'm not a Renthead, although I did see the show twice and have seen the movie version as well. But I am affected by AIDS and have attended Friends In Deed meetings in New York (Rapp speaks of his association with this organization and its founder Cy O'Neal). And now, I must admit, I've fallen in "love" with Anthony Rapp. I expected a shallow but gossipy read when I purchased this book, not the beautifully written, emotion-packed memoir, narrated honestly by the author.

From its first page I was enveloped in a story that has implications for all of us. Anthony Rapp is a wonderful actor and a marvelous author. You don't have to be a musical theater afficiando or even an admirer of the arts to get swept away in this edgy and honest story. Kudos to Mr. Rapp who should write more often. He has more than one gift.

Not your usual biography.

I read the book when it was first available and knew in the first chapter that this would be a great read and it was. Last week I got the audio version with Anthony reading his book (unabridged) and it was an experience I'll never forget. Just blew me away to not just hear the words read by him but to experience the all his emotions was fantastic. You truly feel the love, anger, confusion, energy; it's very powerful. Hope he writes again soon.

I will say it may not be for everyone. It can be emotionally heavy and may feel too personal at times. It really is his life offered to the reader in a way I can't remember having experienced in a book before.

Surprisingly Meh...

I wanted more of the production process of the musical RENT. Did not get that. Great performance reading by Anthony Rapp though.

nice story and well narrated

I really felt Anthony Rapp did a great job telling his story and bring emotion to his words. I found myself in tears several times!

Heartbreaking and beautifully done

4 1/2 Caffeinated Stars
Trigger Warnings: Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Homophobia, Cheating, Death

Though I do miss the romance package from Audible, I have found some good books through Audible Plus. I was utterly ecstatic that Without You by Anthony Rapp was included in the plus catalog. I’ve loved RENT for years and even saw the play at the Nederlander Theater and at the Buell Theater (with Anthony Rapp & Adam Pascal). I’ve always wanted to learn more about RENT’s creation, and I love Anthony Rapp, so it was a no-brainer to read the audiobook that the actor narrated.

Without You was beautifully written. The emotions were raw and heartfelt throughout the entire book. Anthony Rapp did not hold back when writing and reading this book. He was brutally honest with his story and evoked so much emotion that I full-on sobbed at times.

The story of Anthony’s time in RENT and the loss of his mother was incredibly impactful. This book is not just about RENT but about Anthony’s struggles with grief and loss. It was inspiring to see him come into himself and grow as a person. Witnessing the battle Anthony had from the losses he experienced was a bit cathartic. I lost two significant family members last year, so reading about the author’s grief helped.

I highly recommend this to anyone who loves the play & anyone who wants to read about Anthony’s life. This book was raw, emotional, and beautifully written.

Exactly what the title says...

This book was well read by Rapp who really gets you in to the story with his emotion. Also the book is exactly what the title says, Rapp's experience of loss, love, and Rent. Rapp really lets you inside his mind as he deals with his own homosexuality and the loss of many great friends and family members throughout his life. There are very graphic scenes in this book that may not be for everyone, but the passion that Rapp feels is obvious throughout the reading.

Great!!

I love Anthony Rapps story. It is even greater that he narrated it himself. Thank you!

Excellent performance by the author

I had mixed feelings about the story, but it was very frank and I don't expect a young unmarried man with no kids to be mature, gay or not. Overall, an intense and interesting listen.

All the feels

Anthony Rapp articulates all the feelings and emotions of love, loss and grief into words so perfectly. Something I didn’t know how to do but I’m learning to do. Watching your mother wither away from cancer is so unbearable and heart wrenching. How Anthony Rapp turned his emotions into amazing performances is truly inspiring.

Deeply moving

I am grateful to Anthony for having written this book. His writing is eloquent and revealing. He is brutally honest about the less savory aspects of his personality and events in his life and he comes out the other side, if not elegantly, with a sort of grace that comes with growth.

As a (albeit much less successful) performer myself, and being almost exactly the same generation as Anthony and also from a midwestern Catholic family, there were many many things I felt I could directly relate to.

Despite being a straight female I find it wonderful how Anthony has bravely become a champion and role model of gay rights. I think of my best friend in High School who suffered greatly as the only open gay boy at our school and wished that he had had a role model like Anthony to look up to and contact and speak to.

I love how humbly Anthony speaks of his work as a performer and how engagingly he shows that he is just a regular guy who also struggles with life and death and success and failure. Thank you, Anthony.

Such An Amazing Story

Such an amazing story of love, pain, success, hard work, derivation, loss, grief, family, internal turmoil, struggles, relationships, music, art, emotions, happiness... well... life, really!

Anthony Rapp made me cry.

Heartwrenching and moving chain of events narrated through the voice and words of the author who brings the honesty of the present moment in his recurring of events and important people in his life and feelings that shaped his memories of them.