Why We Can't Sleep

Women's New Midlife Crisis

By: Ada Calhoun

Narrated by: Ada Calhoun

Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins

Publisher's summary

A generation-defining examination of the new midlife crisis facing Gen X women and the unique circumstances that have brought them to this point, Why We Can’t Sleep is a lively successor to Passages by Gail Sheehy and The Defining Decade by Meg Jay.

When Ada Calhoun found herself in the throes of a midlife crisis, she thought that she had no right to complain. She was married with children and a good career. So why did she feel miserable? And why did it seem that other Generation X women were miserable, too?

Calhoun decided to find some answers. She looked into housing costs, HR trends, credit card debt averages, and divorce data. At every turn, she saw a pattern: sandwiched between the Boomers and Millennials, Gen X women were facing new problems as they entered middle age, problems that were being largely overlooked.

Speaking with women across America about their experiences as the generation expected to “have it all”, Calhoun found that most were exhausted, terrified about money, under-employed, and overwhelmed. Instead of their issues being heard, they were told to lean in, take “me time”, or make a chore chart to get their lives and homes in order.

In Why We Can’t Sleep, Calhoun opens up the cultural and political contexts of Gen X’s predicament and offers solutions for how to pull oneself out of the abyss - and keep the next generation from falling in. The result is reassuring, empowering, and essential listening for all middle-aged women, and anyone who hopes to understand them.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2019 Ada Calhoun (P)2019 Audible, Inc.

Depressing

I'm a cross-over (Xennial), but grew up in rural Montana where I joke everything is 10 years behind. I mostly find myself around Gen X folks, and am married to one. However I felt like this was 90% pity party, while a lot of the information is factual, it comes across as so ungrateful. Not for me.

GenX Women Mid-Life Crisis is Real

At the expectations of boomers and millennials GenX women were meant to have it all. At the risk of their own sanity they have sought to having it all and although some have achieved catharsis many find themselves in crisis. A period in which identity itself is thrown into question and a perpetual anxiety of “Who am I?” And, “What am I doing this for? How did I get here? Where do I go from here?” Ada Calhoun summaries that experience and offers the solution to remember it’s not us and it won’t last forever. There is hope amongst the other GenX women in life. Find them, connect, complain, and be surrounded in endless supportive friends. Life is not over yet, hopefully soon mid-life will be.

Speaking directly to me

As a 42yr old who’s been dealt with objectively unpleasant life circumstances the last few years (not to mention the macro level challenges), I felt every word of this! Thanks for putting into words why the last few years of my life have been plagued with so many challenges!

I feel heard and hopeful!

One of the most helpful books I have ever read/listened to! It was hard listening to what brought us here, but also I finally didn’t feel so alone. This whole book could almost have been all the stories of my life. It wrapped up with not of a feeling that we need to fix it all, and “be it all” but that we are survivors. We are the deciders of the narrative of ourselves.

Mainly, I feel understood to my core. I can’t honestly remember ever feeling that way.

Important considerations for women in their 40s

Ada Calhoun narrates her text with efficiency and expertise. Her assertions are researched and creatively crafted. I’ve recommended to all women I know who have hit their 40s with a “what happened here?” mentality.

Finally someone sees the Gen X Woman

A refreshing and heartening read for the ladies of the so called slacker generation. 5 stars.

This booked nailed GenX middle aged malaise

As a single genXer who has worked hard my entire life, but is now unemployed due to a global pandemic, unable to find a job, middle aged, in peri menopause, having to leave my home next week because I can no longer afford rent, and generally not anywhere near where I expected to be at this age, this book is exactly what I needed!!! Thank you to the author for showing us we are not alone during this middle-aged malaise!

More Anxiety but Less Alone

Author presented some very good stats as it relates to the reality of Gen X women. I could relate to all. However, sometimes instead of feeling comfort knowing I wasn't alone, I felt anxious!! Narrator read pretty quickly so it didn't help the building cloud of anxiety much. Overall, as hard as it was to hear... there's value in knowing. After all, Knowledge is Power.

Fantastic !

Technically I am just between Gen X and Millenials but never mind. My sisters in law are gen X, so are many of my coworkers, and this book was spot on. It was clever and relatable and well documented. It expressed things I only thought about confusely in a very clear manner. I love the author’s voice and style of reading too (perhaps a little too quick sometimes ) One of the best non fiction I’ve listened to, highly recommended.

Excellent!!

This is one of the most relatable books I’ve read about midlife in women. Highly recommend!!