When to Walk Away

Finding Freedom from Toxic People
Narrated by: Gary Thomas
Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
4.8 out of 5 stars (220 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Your life's calling is too important to let toxic people take it away. When to Walk Away draws from biblical and modern stories to equip you to handle toxic people in your life and live true to your God-given purpose. 

As Christians, we often feel the guilt and responsibility of meeting the needs of unhealthy people in our lives. Whether a sibling, parent, spouse, coworker, or friend, toxic people frequently seek to frustrate our life's calling. While you're seeking first God's kingdom, they're seeking first to distract your focus and delay your work. Instead of attempting the impossible task of mollifying toxic people, it's time we dedicate our energy to the only worthwhile effort: completing the work God has given us by investing in reliable people. It's only when we learn to say no to bad patterns that we can say yes to the good work God has planned for us. 

Drawing from years serving as a pastor, Gary Thomas (best-selling author of Sacred Marriage) looks at biblical examples from the lives of Jesus, Paul, and Nehemiah to give you insightful, biblical includes insightful takeaways that you can apply right away. You'll discover how to:

  • Learn the difference between difficult people and toxic people
  • Find refuge in God when you feel under attack
  • Discern when to walk away from a toxic situation
  • Keep a tender heart even in unhealthy relationships
  • Grow your inner strength and invest in reliable people 

We can't let others steal our joy or our mission. It's time to strengthen our defense, learn to set healthy boundaries, and focus on our God-given purpose. It's time to know When to Walk Away.

Reference Bible verses are available in the audiobook companion PDF download.  

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2019 Gary L. Thomas (P)2019 Zondervan

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Fantastic book!

I've read multiple books on this subject, and this book was by far, the very best one I've ever listened to. Reassuring me that I'm not insane, practical ways to handle different relationships, and the confidence to walk out my own wellbeing without condemnation. Another book knocked out of the park by Gary Thomas. Thank you!!

6 people found this helpful

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Dealing with toxic people correctly

Having a hard time dealing with someone who takes advantage of you and others? What about being in a difficult relationship with someone who tears you apart; what do you do? Gary Thomas explains various situations where everyone needs to Walk Away. He doesn’t shy away from the difficult relationships in everyday life. There are times it is necessary for each of us to walk away from toxic people, from Church, to marriage, and to workplace relationships. Gary uses good counseling techniques and Biblical passages to explain the why, how and what of When to Walk Away. I highly recommend this book to you.

4 people found this helpful

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Helped me walk away from a toxic situation

Loved the whole book. Nothing contradicted the Bible. It helped me see that sometimes to be the best Christian I can walking away is the best thing to do.

4 people found this helpful

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ABSOLUTELY A MUST READ/HEAR

Tremendous wisdom and truth in this one! I will recommend it to everyone for healing.

4 people found this helpful

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Don’t be trapped by the idea that a good Christian just has to endure toxic abuse. You can walk away.

This book came at just the right time in our lives. My wife and I were literally “going crazy trying to understand crazy” as a toxic person continued to do all within their power to make us think we were crazy and evil people who had willingly and knowingly offended them. We tried humbling ourselves, considering how we may have done something wrong, even unintentionally. We apologized on multiple occasions, while still trying to stay rooted in reality. It would seem better for a moment, until the person would find something else to take offense about, essentially gaslighting their own self. At the core of our problem was our own unspoken belief that we needed to be “good Christians” and suffer long under this person because it is what Jesus would do. Finally, a friend recommended Gary’s book and it was so freeing. We realized that enduring abuse is only allowing the abuser to continue to sin against us. We learned how even Jesus walked away at times, and instead spent his energy doing the will of His Father, rather than getting thrown off course by everyone who disagreed with Him. We were reminded to be aware of our own response to toxic people, and avoid becoming toxic ourselves by continually looking to Jesus for our identity and worth. We are so grateful for this book, and highly recommend it to anyone and everyone who may find themselves completely off balance and suffering from being enslaved to the anxiety and fear that comes with a toxic relationship, as well as those who may not yet be aware that they have been going through life as a toxic person, trying to control and motivate people by shame and disgrace.

3 people found this helpful

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True freedom from toxic people.

This book is an excellent resource for the body of Christ to navigate the toxic relationships we all find ourselves in from time to time.

1 person found this helpful

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A fantastically healing read!!!

This book came into my hands at a time when I needed affirmation from above. The scriptural insights (that were more than plentiful) reinforced what I knew God had been communicating to me for months. From God’s heart to Gary’s pen to my ears. Most books with similarly telling titles don’t spend the time this one did laying out the effort to preserve relationship. I could sense his heart in that effort. Just a few of the MANY epiphanies I had while reading When to Walk Away... ...Labeling toxic people and toxic behavior is necessary to resolve relationships and establish boundaries. ...Realizing that healthy techniques used on unhealthy people will never produce healthy results. ...Understanding that we are not responsible for the unhealthy responses from unhealthy people as a result of our healthy choices. ...It is impossible to follow God and do what He has called us to do, so long as we remain trapped in the cycle of toxic people and their toxic behavior. ...God doesn’t control us, so it’s wrong for me to think I could/should control the behavior of others. BUT, Jesus did not stick around for toxic behavior, and He did not chase after those who had no intention of following Him. This book was healing, affirming, encouraging, and searching. I was even able to recognize areas in my own life that had been toxic as a result of guarding against past hurt. I could not recommend this book more highly.

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Great book

very good book totally recommend., helps you make more adequate choices. will read again, thank you

1 person found this helpful

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so good!

Love the truth and wisdom in this book! Every one should examine themselves to make certain the are not toxic...Ever!! Great book!

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Great Book!

Gary does a great job of helping clarify the difference between difficult people and toxic people, difficult relationship and toxic relationships, and the importance of doing the will of God without letting toxic people stop you from doing what God created you to do.

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  • AyLi
  • 03-09-20

Hugely helpful

I have not come across a book that dealt with this issue before. Helping me to see that Jesus did indeed share in all of my humanity. Scripture shows me a better way.

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  • starwarssteve
  • 10-12-19

really important book for church leaders

I love Gary Thomas clear writing style. the way he explains what he is and isnt saying. it helped alot with reviewing past decisions. He displays both wisdom and sound biblical backup. this is a tricky subject as labelling other people as toxic is serious.