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When Good People Have Affairs

Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships
Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (65 ratings)

Regular price: $27.99

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Publisher's Summary

A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of people caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair rocks their emotional lives. Now, in When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum puts her unsurpassed experience into one clear, calming place. She leads listeners through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity, and identifies 17 types of affairs, helping listeners figure out which type they're in and what it means. (Is it a "see-if" affair? Ejector-seat affair? Distraction affair? Unmet-needs affair? Panic affair?) Kirshenbaum encourages honest answers to such questions as:

  • What am I missing in my marriage?
  • How do I decide between two people when it's like comparing an apple to an orange?
  • How do I decide to end my marriage, end my affair, or end them both?

When Good People Have Affairs will be a lifeline to any man or woman who feels caught between two lovers, and its insights are indispensable to anyone else touched by an affair.

©2008 Mira Kirshenbaum (P)2017 Tantor

What members say

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Action-oriented Book

This is the best relationship book that I've read, hands-down. Useful for explaining so much more than just the basics of affairs. If you want non-judgmental, sound analysis of behaviors and what next steps to take, listen/read this book. Quality, worth every penny!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Digs Deep

While I don’t agree with every concept the author says, she presents truths that I didn’t get from many therapists and sources. I was amazed at the depth of knowledge that is so well expressed. Also, there is an implied autonomy for the reader, which is essential for a person’s growth. The author is not prescriptive.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Valid point

I couldn't get with some of the points that she was saying especially when I interpreted a message to the cheater that you have a valid point for your affair. But, other points were made that I can get behind.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • GAC
  • earth
  • 01-08-19

Too bad I didn't have this book sooner

Some real good advice here. I was struggling for a few years. Unfortunately I made the wrong decision, if I had read this book during my struggle I would have made a different decision.

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

This book condones affairs

The writer says her husband had an emotional affair that lasted a very short time and then returned to her. The book goes on about what makes someone happy you can't live life on happiness per it is a fleeting emotion you can be happy one minute sad the next and happy again. It does not touch on the mind of a limerent who has dopamine levels so high in the brain it equates to being high on cocaine. During that limerent point there is no rationality at all. All relationships have problems and many times during an affair the Wayward Spouse will vilify the Betrayed to justify the actions of an Affair. Many times people return to their spouse and the Affair Partner is in utter shock per they were under the impression the spouse was terrible where in many cases that is not the truth. I don't recommend this if you are trying to save your marriage from an affair.

4 of 8 people found this review helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • D S
  • SACRAMENTO, CA, US
  • 11-03-18

Waste of money

Speaker comes across with an arrogant tone.

Toward the end of book mentions the “other” man or woman will also be hurting due to an ended affair and that needs to be taken into consideration. This is assuming the “other” man or woman didn’t know they were involved with a married person? The flip side is they knew they were involved with a married person and frankly their feelings shouldn’t matter

1 of 3 people found this review helpful