Untrue

Publisher's Summary

From the number-one New York Times best-selling author of Primates of Park Avenue, a bold, timely reconsideration of female infidelity that will upend everything you thought you knew about women and sex.

What do straight, married female revelers at an all-women's sex club in LA have in common with nomadic pastoralists in Namibia who bear children by men not their husbands? Like women worldwide, they crave sexual variety, novelty, and excitement. 

In ancient Greek tragedies, Netflix series, tabloids, and pop songs, we've long portrayed such cheating women as dangerous and damaged. We love to hate women who are untrue. But who are they really? And why, in this age of female empowerment, do we continue to judge them so harshly? 

In Untrue, feminist author and cultural critic Wednesday Martin takes us on a bold, fascinating journey to reveal the unexpected evolutionary legacy and social realities that drive female faithlessness, while laying bare our motivations to contain women who step out. 

Blending accessible social science and interviews with sex researchers, anthropologists, and real women from all walks of life, Untrue challenges our deepest assumptions about ourselves, monogamy, and the women we think we know. From recent data suggesting women may struggle more than men with sexual exclusivity to the revolutionary idea that females of many species evolved to be "promiscuous" to Martin's trenchant assertion that female sexual autonomy is the ultimate metric of gender equality, Untrue will change the way you think about women and sex forever. 

©2018 Wednesday Martin (P)2018 Hachette Audio

Critic Reviews

"Scientifically literate and sexually cliterate...an exuberant unfettering of female sexuality that challenges us to 'think outside her box.' Viva la Vulva!" (Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of She Comes First)

"Wednesday Martin understands female sexuality - from the #MeToo movement and polyamory to women's prehistoric and cultural heritage. She goes far beyond our current psychological understanding of women's infidelity to tell the real story of women's ubiquitous, tenacious, and primordial sexual strategies. And her writing is not only informative, timely, and refreshing but wonderfully engaging. Brava, Wednesday." (Helen Fisher, author of The First Sex and Why We Love)

If you have ever felt different, other, or just weird when it comes to love, sex, or intimacy, read Untrue. In it, Wednesday Martin bulldozes the sexual stereotypes that have silenced and constrained us for centuries, bringing the voices of women who love in a range of ways to the surface. Dazzling." (Rachel Simmons, cofounder of Girls Leadership and author of Enough as She Is and Odd Girl Out)

The truth revealed in Untruth. Or is it?

I picked up this book due to the eye catching title and after a bit of research on the author, Wednesday Martin. Wednesday appears to be a woman with a curiosity about things asking the why behind the what. A woman in transition who is sharing her journey of growth and knowledge with us.
As a 51 year old man who has now lived several decades of change, varying relationships styles and marriages, I was interested in reading this new voice describing the experience of women today and through the ages.
This book delivers on describing through historical records, various interviews with diverse women and the authors own experiences the challenges woman have faced and the very real struggle today.
At times I questioned on where she was headed in the story, as each example and interview both added to the last and sometimes contrasted the last. Wednesday was describing accurately how the current and deeply ingrained male oriented social narrative was false - Untrue. Yet, the unfolding story wasn’t pointing to a single truth.
As I contributed to read, I began to feel secure in the story that the point isn’t to direct the reader to one replacement truth, but rather describes the very fact that there isnt one truth for all. Women are not the narrow definition that the standard narrative describes or demands they subscribe to. The truth of Untrue is that what we have been taught to believe is deeply flawed and that is exactly enough to bring about change.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

Everyone should read this

I’m sure Ms. Martin will get a lot of backlash for writing this book, but the topic is one that needs to be talked about more. Women have been stigmatized for far too long if they have the audacity to enjoy sex and then actually admit it. And women tend to be some of the worst offenders of propagating the beliefs that women should be shamed for it. We need to empower ourselves and other women to take back the autonomy of our sexual beings. We need to support each other’s choices whether it’s to be monogamous or explore other options. We need to respect others choices and know that we are all different and what works for one person may not work for someone else. And that’s OKAY! We don’t have to live in cookie cutter box houses and dress alike and behave for someone else’s skewed view of morality.

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

So grateful for the truths of this book!

I loved this book. It allowed me to look at love, marriage, sex, and women in a whole new light.

Very important work

An invigorating and intelligently crafted journey through the reconsideration of female sexuality; an uncovering of the origins and rise of monogamy and an exposition of the recent data that explains why women worldwide are built and coded to crave sexual variety, novelty, and excitement, the role it plays in human evolution, and consequentially why they struggle with thriving in “captivity”.

A couple critiques & a bit of my story

There are some good points in this book, especially the stories on AshleyMadison.com . That was facinating, and changed my whole outlook on women who cheat. But unfortunately, there are a few points in this book that are not true (pun intended) & is spreading a negative & false view of women. Quoting that "we live in a world that prioritizes male sexual pleasure & male sexual privilege." She provides no real evidence of this, only stories. I don't believe this is reality at all, and if you teach young women this, will create a mindset that is just that.

Furthermore, I almost jumped out of my seat when she said that Hilary Clinton was hated so much, because of her display of female autonomy. Give me a break. People hate Hilary Clinton, because she is a liar & a snake. If the right female candidate had presented herself, she would have won the election. It has nothing to do with her being female, and the fact she presented it that way is extremely asinine.

All in all, I'm glad I read it. I am a young female myself, 24 yrs old & just graduated college. I've been with my now fiancee for 5.5 yrs & we have been best friend's since High School. He's basically been my only relationship, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. We are passionately in love, & I'm completely smitten by him. However, as I find myself getting older, I am fantasizing about being with other men. I felt awful at first for feeling this way, but after thinking about it and approaching it from an evolutionary standpoint (I am an engineering major & look at everything from a science perspective), I realize it's completely normal and natural to be attracted to more than one person.. even if I want to spend the rest of my life with just the one. This book helped me understand those feelings, and if nothing else, help me to know that I'm not alone. My fiance and I are talking about the possibility of becoming "open" or "non-monogamous", but he is naturally taking it very hard. Personally, I think it would create even more love, intimacy, & sex in our relationship. Either way, it is a facinating journey.

Finally a book about the truth from a woman’s perspective

I loved this book and it gave me some answers and comfort in my own quest for what’s going on with me. I hope she does another book with more interviews of other consensual non monogamous married couples.

Very Interesting

Always love when the author narrates. However, being divorced, several points in this book were like digging at stitches. I think it's really important info to share. Hopefully we can be more honest with our partners about these issues and avoid ALOT of pain.