-
Untrue
- Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free
- Narrated by: Wednesday Martin
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Buy for $28.50
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Listeners also enjoyed...
-
Sex at Dawn
- How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships
- By: Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha
- Narrated by: Allyson Johnson, Jonathan Davis, Christopher Ryan (Preface)
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Since Darwin's day, we've been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. Mainstream science - as well as religious and cultural institutions - has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing....
-
-
Narrator
- By Jacqueline Sorrels on 05-25-19
By: Christopher Ryan, and others
-
Polysecure
- Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy
- By: Jessica Fern
- Narrated by: Jessica Fern, Eve Rickert, Nora Samaran
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships.
-
-
Insanely boring, poor audio quality & narration
- By shwiftyone on 03-29-21
By: Jessica Fern
-
Insatiable Wives
- Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them
- By: David J. Ley
- Narrated by: Rose Caraway
- Length: 12 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Long before the term cuckold was a common word thrown around in the media, Dr. Ley explored the history and science of cuckolding. This groundbreaking work explores why and how some men not only allow, but encourage, their wives to pursue sexual relationships with other men.
-
-
A fascinating listen
- By Long Island Reader on 01-17-22
By: David J. Ley
-
The State of Affairs
- Rethinking Infidelity
- By: Esther Perel
- Narrated by: Esther Perel
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An affair: It can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so, too, the prohibition against it - in fact it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. Iconic couples' therapist and best-selling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a groundbreaking and provocative look at infidelity, arguing for a more nuanced and less judgmental conversation about our transgressions.
-
-
A compassionate approach
- By Anonymous User on 10-16-17
By: Esther Perel
-
Come As You Are: Revised and Updated
- The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
- By: Emily Nagoski PhD
- Narrated by: Emily Nagoski, Nicholas Boulton
- Length: 11 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For much of the 20th and 21st centuries, women’s sexuality was an uncharted territory in science, studied far less frequently - and far less seriously - than its male counterpart. That is, until Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which used groundbreaking science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them.
-
-
Usless!!!
- By tammy on 03-04-21
-
Open
- An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy--A Polyamory Memoir
- By: Rachel Krantz
- Narrated by: Rachel Krantz
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Rachel Krantz met and fell for Adam, he told her that he was looking for a committed partnership—just one that did not include exclusivity. Intrigued and more than a little nervous, Rachel decided to see whether their love could be open and coexist with the freedom to date other people. Could they strike an exquisite balance between intimacy and independence, and find a way to feel passion for one another once the honeymoon phase ended?
-
-
I’m proud of myself
- By rachelkrantz on 02-05-22
By: Rachel Krantz
-
Sex at Dawn
- How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships
- By: Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha
- Narrated by: Allyson Johnson, Jonathan Davis, Christopher Ryan (Preface)
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Since Darwin's day, we've been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. Mainstream science - as well as religious and cultural institutions - has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing....
-
-
Narrator
- By Jacqueline Sorrels on 05-25-19
By: Christopher Ryan, and others
-
Polysecure
- Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy
- By: Jessica Fern
- Narrated by: Jessica Fern, Eve Rickert, Nora Samaran
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships.
-
-
Insanely boring, poor audio quality & narration
- By shwiftyone on 03-29-21
By: Jessica Fern
-
Insatiable Wives
- Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them
- By: David J. Ley
- Narrated by: Rose Caraway
- Length: 12 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Long before the term cuckold was a common word thrown around in the media, Dr. Ley explored the history and science of cuckolding. This groundbreaking work explores why and how some men not only allow, but encourage, their wives to pursue sexual relationships with other men.
-
-
A fascinating listen
- By Long Island Reader on 01-17-22
By: David J. Ley
-
The State of Affairs
- Rethinking Infidelity
- By: Esther Perel
- Narrated by: Esther Perel
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An affair: It can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so, too, the prohibition against it - in fact it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. Iconic couples' therapist and best-selling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a groundbreaking and provocative look at infidelity, arguing for a more nuanced and less judgmental conversation about our transgressions.
-
-
A compassionate approach
- By Anonymous User on 10-16-17
By: Esther Perel
-
Come As You Are: Revised and Updated
- The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
- By: Emily Nagoski PhD
- Narrated by: Emily Nagoski, Nicholas Boulton
- Length: 11 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For much of the 20th and 21st centuries, women’s sexuality was an uncharted territory in science, studied far less frequently - and far less seriously - than its male counterpart. That is, until Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which used groundbreaking science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them.
-
-
Usless!!!
- By tammy on 03-04-21
-
Open
- An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy--A Polyamory Memoir
- By: Rachel Krantz
- Narrated by: Rachel Krantz
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Rachel Krantz met and fell for Adam, he told her that he was looking for a committed partnership—just one that did not include exclusivity. Intrigued and more than a little nervous, Rachel decided to see whether their love could be open and coexist with the freedom to date other people. Could they strike an exquisite balance between intimacy and independence, and find a way to feel passion for one another once the honeymoon phase ended?
-
-
I’m proud of myself
- By rachelkrantz on 02-05-22
By: Rachel Krantz
-
The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory
- Everything You Need to Know About Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love
- By: Dedeker Winston
- Narrated by: Stephanie Rose
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An intelligent and comprehensive guide to polyamory, open relationships, and other forms of alternative love, The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory offers relationship advice radically different from anything you'll find on the magazine rack. This practical guidebook will help women break free of the mold of traditional monogamy, without the constraints of jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity, and competition. If you're curious about exploring group sex, opening up your current monogamous relationship, or ready to "come out" as polyamorous, this book covers it all.
-
-
Terrible Narrator, Too Much History
- By Amazon Customer on 04-05-19
By: Dedeker Winston
-
Existential Kink
- Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power; A Method for Getting What You Want by Getting Off on What You Don't
- By: Carolyn Elliott PhD
- Narrated by: Carolyn Elliott PhD
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Each of us has a dual nature: we are light (conscious) and dark (unconscious). The dark side of our personality - the “other,” the shadow side - is made up of what we think is our primitive, primal, negative impulses - our “existential kink.” Our existential kink also drives the dark or negative repeating patterns in our life: always choosing the abusive partner or boss, settling for less, thinking that we’re undeserving, not worthy. But it also is the source of our greatest power.
-
-
Victim blaming, garbage.
- By Public on 07-19-20
-
The Evolution of Desire
- By: David M. Buss
- Narrated by: Greg Tremblay
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
If we all want love, why is there so much conflict in our most cherished relationships? To answer this question we must look into our evolutionary past, argues prominent psychologist David M. Buss. Based one of the largest studies of human mating ever undertaken, encompassing more than 10,000 people of all ages from 37 cultures worldwide, The Evolution of Desire is the first work to present a unified theory of human mating behavior.
-
-
Excellent book
- By JR on 07-24-19
By: David M. Buss
-
Open Monogamy
- A Guide to Co-Creating Your Ideal Relationship Agreement
- By: Tammy Nelson PhD
- Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Open Monogamy is Dr. Nelson's guidebook for couples who wish to explore new directions in their relationships - to bring in excitement, variety, and fresh experiences without sacrificing trust, security, and respect. In this practical, skill-based book, she helps you find your place on the "monogamy continuum"; have honest conversations about attraction and desire; remove shame and suspicion from an open relationship; and create agreements - traditional or otherwise - that are fulfilling, exhilarating, and built for enduring love.
-
-
Very eye-opening and informative.
- By Amazon Customer on 05-12-22
By: Tammy Nelson PhD
-
The Erotic Mind
- Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment
- By: Jack Morin PhD
- Narrated by: Matthew Boston
- Length: 12 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Challenging accepted theories about what makes for terrific sex, The Erotic Mind is a breakthrough exploration of the least understood dimensions of human sexuality - the psychology of desire, arousal, and fulfillment. Sex therapist Dr. Jack Morin offers a new perspective that celebrates the joys of Eros without denying its risks. Based on an in-depth analysis of over 1,000 provocative stories of peak sexual experiences, The Erotic Mind offers clear, accessible guidance on how anyone can utilize their own peak encounters and fantasies as powerful tools of self-discovery.
By: Jack Morin PhD
-
All the Single Ladies
- Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation
- By: Rebecca Traister
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton, Rebecca Traister - introduction
- Length: 11 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a provocative, groundbreaking work, National Magazine Award finalist Rebecca Traister, "the most brilliant voice on feminism in this country" (Anne Lamott), traces the history of unmarried women in America who, through social, political, and economic means, have radically shaped our nation.
-
-
Excellent book, destroyed by narration
- By Theresa Holleran on 03-06-16
By: Rebecca Traister
-
What Love Is
- And What It Could Be
- By: Carrie Jenkins
- Narrated by: Carrie Jenkins
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What is love? Aside from being the title of many a popular love song, this is one of life's perennial questions. In What Love Is, philosopher Carrie Jenkins offers a bold new theory on the nature of romantic love that reconciles its humanistic and scientific components.
-
-
What Philosophy Is and What It Could Be
- By Amazon Customer on 03-09-17
By: Carrie Jenkins
-
When Women Ruled the World
- By: Kara Cooney
- Narrated by: Kara Cooney
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This riveting narrative explores the lives of six remarkable female pharaohs, from Hatshepsut to Cleopatra - women who ruled with real power - and shines a piercing light on our own perceptions of women in power today. Female rulers are a rare phenomenon - but thousands of years ago in ancient Egypt, women reigned supreme. But throughout human history, women in positions of power were more often used as political pawns in a male-dominated society. What was so special about ancient Egypt that provided women this kind of access to the highest political office?
-
-
Difficult to know what to trust
- By Newme on 01-05-21
By: Kara Cooney
-
Invisible Women
- Data Bias in a World Designed for Men
- By: Caroline Criado Perez
- Narrated by: Caroline Criado Perez
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Data is fundamental to the modern world. From economic development, to healthcare, to education and public policy, we rely on numbers to allocate resources and make crucial decisions. But because so much data fails to take into account gender, treating men as the default and women as atypical, bias and discrimination are baked into our systems. And women pay tremendous costs for this bias in time, money, and often with their lives. Celebrated feminist advocate Caroline Criado Perez investigates the shocking root cause of gender inequality and research in Invisible Women.
-
-
Not great science but interesting
- By Regina Rutledge on 12-29-19
-
We Should All Be Feminists
- By: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
- Narrated by: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
- Length: 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie offers listeners a unique definition of feminism for the 21st century, one rooted in inclusion and awareness. Drawing extensively on her own experiences and her deep understanding of the often masked realities of sexual politics, here is one remarkable author's exploration of what it means to be a woman now - and an of-the-moment rallying cry for why we should all be feminists.
-
-
compelling
- By Gregg Coffin on 06-01-17
-
For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition
- What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men
- By: Shaunti Feldhahn
- Narrated by: Shaunti Feldhahn
- Length: 4 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Discover the truth he wants you to know! The man in your life is keeping secrets. They’re so deep inside he barely knows they're there, much less how to talk to you about them. Yet he genuinely wants you to "get" him - to understand his inner life, his fears, his needs... In her landmark best seller For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn reveals what every woman - single or married - needs to know.
-
-
Life changing
- By Jill on 10-19-13
By: Shaunti Feldhahn
-
The Mask of Masculinity
- How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives
- By: Lewis Howes
- Narrated by: Lewis Howes
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lewis Howes grew up as an athlete. He was a two-sport All-American and went on to play football professionally. Howes then transferred his competitive nature from sports to business, building his podcast, The School of Greatness, into a global phenomenon. But his whole identity was built on misguided beliefs about what "masculinity" was: dangerous, false ideas learned from teammates and coaches in locker rooms and stereotypes in the media. Like so many men, Howes grew up to be angry, frustrated, and always chasing something that was never enough.
-
-
Nothing new for anyone over 35
- By AwJeez on 06-27-18
By: Lewis Howes
Publisher's Summary
From the number-one New York Times best-selling author of Primates of Park Avenue, a bold, timely reconsideration of female infidelity that will upend everything you thought you knew about women and sex.
What do straight, married female revelers at an all-women's sex club in LA have in common with nomadic pastoralists in Namibia who bear children by men not their husbands? Like women worldwide, they crave sexual variety, novelty, and excitement.
In ancient Greek tragedies, Netflix series, tabloids, and pop songs, we've long portrayed such cheating women as dangerous and damaged. We love to hate women who are untrue. But who are they really? And why, in this age of female empowerment, do we continue to judge them so harshly?
In Untrue, feminist author and cultural critic Wednesday Martin takes us on a bold, fascinating journey to reveal the unexpected evolutionary legacy and social realities that drive female faithlessness, while laying bare our motivations to contain women who step out.
Blending accessible social science and interviews with sex researchers, anthropologists, and real women from all walks of life, Untrue challenges our deepest assumptions about ourselves, monogamy, and the women we think we know. From recent data suggesting women may struggle more than men with sexual exclusivity to the revolutionary idea that females of many species evolved to be "promiscuous" to Martin's trenchant assertion that female sexual autonomy is the ultimate metric of gender equality, Untrue will change the way you think about women and sex forever.
Critic Reviews
"Scientifically literate and sexually cliterate...an exuberant unfettering of female sexuality that challenges us to 'think outside her box.' Viva la Vulva!" (Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of She Comes First)
"Wednesday Martin understands female sexuality - from the #MeToo movement and polyamory to women's prehistoric and cultural heritage. She goes far beyond our current psychological understanding of women's infidelity to tell the real story of women's ubiquitous, tenacious, and primordial sexual strategies. And her writing is not only informative, timely, and refreshing but wonderfully engaging. Brava, Wednesday." (Helen Fisher, author of The First Sex and Why We Love)
If you have ever felt different, other, or just weird when it comes to love, sex, or intimacy, read Untrue. In it, Wednesday Martin bulldozes the sexual stereotypes that have silenced and constrained us for centuries, bringing the voices of women who love in a range of ways to the surface. Dazzling." (Rachel Simmons, cofounder of Girls Leadership and author of Enough as She Is and Odd Girl Out)
More from the same
Narrator
What listeners say about Untrue
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- AC GreenJeans
- 10-25-19
Garbage
I've been in every variety of relationship. Monogamy, marriage, ethical non-monogamy and poly. This book is just a justification for impulsive and low integrity behavior. Welcome to the age of narcissism.
18 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kaylee A.
- 01-22-19
A couple critiques & a bit of my story
There are some good points in this book, especially the stories on AshleyMadison.com . That was facinating, and changed my whole outlook on women who cheat. But unfortunately, there are a few points in this book that are not true (pun intended) & is spreading a negative & false view of women. Quoting that "we live in a world that prioritizes male sexual pleasure & male sexual privilege." She provides no real evidence of this, only stories. I don't believe this is reality at all, and if you teach young women this, will create a mindset that is just that.
Furthermore, I almost jumped out of my seat when she said that Hilary Clinton was hated so much, because of her display of female autonomy. Give me a break. People hate Hilary Clinton, because she is a liar & a snake. If the right female candidate had presented herself, she would have won the election. It has nothing to do with her being female, and the fact she presented it that way is extremely asinine.
All in all, I'm glad I read it. I am a young female myself, 24 yrs old & just graduated college. I've been with my now fiancee for 5.5 yrs & we have been best friend's since High School. He's basically been my only relationship, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. We are passionately in love, & I'm completely smitten by him. However, as I find myself getting older, I am fantasizing about being with other men. I felt awful at first for feeling this way, but after thinking about it and approaching it from an evolutionary standpoint (I am an engineering major & look at everything from a science perspective), I realize it's completely normal and natural to be attracted to more than one person.. even if I want to spend the rest of my life with just the one. This book helped me understand those feelings, and if nothing else, help me to know that I'm not alone. My fiance and I are talking about the possibility of becoming "open" or "non-monogamous", but he is naturally taking it very hard. Personally, I think it would create even more love, intimacy, & sex in our relationship. Either way, it is a facinating journey.
18 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Bree Dirkmaat
- 03-21-19
Interesting, Not Regrettable, But Kinda Angry Feminist-y
I really enjoyed learning about women’s (previously unexposed) high sex drives and desires for variety/cheating. I agree there are a lot of women like that, and I believe the author that it’s far more pervasive than we all imagined, but in no way do I believe it’s rampant.
The author often compares women cheating to men, and she seems to believe women have much greater social consequences than men. It also seems as if she borderline believes men get away with anything, and women are socially, if not physically, murdered for adultery. I believe there’s a slight disparity, which is unfair and requires education and correction, but men and women are judged in (almost) equally scornful ways. Both sexes are called names; they’re just different names. Men are called “dogs,” “players,” “cheaters,” and “scumbags;” women are called “sluts,” “home-wreckers,” and “whores.”
It’s also apparently not enough for the author to say that women have desires for variety too, which are similar, or borderline equal, to men’s desires for variety; she seems to need to say that women have a MUCH greater evolutionary desire to cheat, and they borderline have a NEED to cheat, which justifies any amount of dishonesty and infidelity with their partners.
I’m all for talking & learning about women’s issues in an objective, realistic, honest, and possibly surprising or shocking way; but it seems as though most modern North American “feminists” (including this author, apparently) want to beat everyone over the head with the idea that ‘women are better than men,’ ‘women deserve more than men,’ and ‘women should be treated better than men.’ Equality and realistic investigation is not enough.
The thing that irritated me the most in this book was when the author was headed to an all female sex party (for research), and her husband told her goodbye and said she had permission to do whatever she wanted. She was irritated and told him SHE DIDN’T NEED HIS PERMISSION. What an angry feminist! What if a guy said that to his wife? All he was saying was that he was OK with whatever she might do, he would not react emotionally, and he would not consider it a violation of their marital commitments. How generous of him. Relationships are built on mutual commitment, expectations, and some sacrifice of desire for the greater good. His granting “permission” was more than reasonable.
The entire book seems to justify and encourage female cheating, in spite of any relationship commitments that are in place. I doubt she encourages men to do the same.
(I don’t believe in all monogamy all the time, btw...I just believe non-monogamy needs to be honest and mutually agreed upon in a relationship, otherwise move on.)
28 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Micheal D
- 10-17-18
The truth revealed in Untruth. Or is it?
I picked up this book due to the eye catching title and after a bit of research on the author, Wednesday Martin. Wednesday appears to be a woman with a curiosity about things asking the why behind the what. A woman in transition who is sharing her journey of growth and knowledge with us.
As a 51 year old man who has now lived several decades of change, varying relationships styles and marriages, I was interested in reading this new voice describing the experience of women today and through the ages.
This book delivers on describing through historical records, various interviews with diverse women and the authors own experiences the challenges woman have faced and the very real struggle today.
At times I questioned on where she was headed in the story, as each example and interview both added to the last and sometimes contrasted the last. Wednesday was describing accurately how the current and deeply ingrained male oriented social narrative was false - Untrue. Yet, the unfolding story wasn’t pointing to a single truth.
As I contributed to read, I began to feel secure in the story that the point isn’t to direct the reader to one replacement truth, but rather describes the very fact that there isnt one truth for all. Women are not the narrow definition that the standard narrative describes or demands they subscribe to. The truth of Untrue is that what we have been taught to believe is deeply flawed and that is exactly enough to bring about change.
8 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- sittingduck
- 03-06-20
Great study spoiled by male bashing
The book starts with the premise that society accepts infidelity for men but not for women. The book then goes on to study various perfectly valid arguments as to why women cheat which is great to hear and is well written. However, the bulk of the book is about women who were somehow not sexually satisfied in their marriage; she never talks about women who are satisfied with their marriages. Do they want to cheat also? Small detail, but the one that makes the study seems incomplete.
The bigger problem with the book is the theme that women are struggling for "equality", meaning the right to be non-monogamous "just like men" keeps appearing over and over again. Men are "allowed" to cheat, but women are not. A deep vein of hatred for the male and his role in society runs through many parts of this book, and she justifies this hatred with the "male imposed" rules that suppresses the women's urge to cheat.
This assumption it is socially acceptable for men to cheat is false; infidelity is NOT acceptable for men either. "Infidelity is a male privilege" is something mentioned over and over again. It is not a privilege that men enjoy, at least not in Western societies. No one congratulates a married male for cheating on his wife. Using that premise to justify the idea that cheating is therefore OK for women is not valid.
The problem arising from this false assumption is that Wednesday Martin does not, in any part of the book, address the broken promises, lies and deception that goes with cheating. She does not address the pain that accompanies the partner who did not stray. Instead, the books says biology dictates non-monogamy, Therefore we must accept that ALL women should be allowed to cheat, and there must be no consequences. The betrayed partner has a problem with that? Well that is HIS fault; he does not understand female biology. Never mind that he too has the urge to cheat, but chooses to honor his promises instead. This is brought home in Chapter 1; she says she wanted to cheat, but did not want her male partners to cheat. She does not address the issue of WHY she does not want her male partner to cheat. Could it be that there is a biological and social reason for that also? She tells her husband "no you cannot have permission to have an affair" in the beginning of the book. Later on in the book she goes on to chide her husband for saying that she has his permission / blessing to go to a sex party alone, a party where cheating was the main activity. I DON'T need your permission, she snaps at him. The irony is lost on her.
6 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Aviv
- 05-16-20
Absurd neo-feminist propaganda
I dropped this title after chapter 1.
This book was clearly written by a leftist ideologue, as evident by the wide use of buzzwords such as "privilege", "the infidelity gap", "non-binary" and "women of color".
Distasteful display of ideology aside, the book contained some specific claims that have no connection to reality. Examples:
1) The author claimed that cheating is a male privilege.
That is of course absurd, as who cheat have always been judged. Anyone with a set of eyes and a functioning prefrontal cortex should know that this is obviously not true. But if any proof is needed, the easiest and clearest example is the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal. If cheating was condoned for men, as the author suggested, then clearly the president of the U.S. cheating on his wife wouldn't be a scandal.
2) The author claims that the MeToo movement is about women's right to want sex.
It is exactly the opposite - MeToo is about sexual harassment, and women's right to refuse. This claim that sexual perpetrators are somehow doing it to oppress female sexuality is patently insane. I'm sure those same perpetrators would be glad to have more women with the same mindset as the author.
The author also keeps conflating polyamory, promiscuity and infidelity, as though they are the same thing. She also groups together thoughts and actions, as though fantasizing about someone else and cheating are the same.
This is of course a blur tactic, designed to excuse the author's selfish and disgusting ambition to lie to her partners while having sex behind their backs, knowing full well that they would not accept it had they known.
Having open consensual relationships is OK.
Having different desires is OK.
Cheating on your partner because you want to have your cake and eat it is not. You are not judged for your sexuality, you are judged for your lack of character and values, as you should be. It is entitlement and narcissism, plain and simple.
This might be the most horrible book I have ever picked up to read.
5 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Baldman64
- 12-14-19
Based on 32 interviews, not well supported
Drones on a bit. Not really well researched and shows significant confirmation bias. I celebrate the author's strength but wished she had gone beyond just retreading.
4 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Merr Boring
- 09-10-20
Provocative Subject, Well Researched
The subject manner of this book is female infidelity, which is not necessarily something we all want to think about, especially not as "good" wives and mothers, but the author presents the facts and research that support that even "good" wives may be untrue. She presents the research of others, but also directly interviews many of those researchers for further insight, which makes the studies more relatable. The stories she tells from women, and a few men. about their own experiences with female infidelity give the book even more depth and make it an easier read. I recommend this book to women and men who are just curious or really looking for information to back up the feelings, or ideas they may already have. It will likely be a somewhat uncomfortable, but also very interesting, talk at our next women's book club.
3 people found this helpful
-
Overall
- Amazon Customer
- 02-23-20
very informative book all women need
i cried at the end of the book because i felt such a relief
3 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Tanya M Oppelt
- 09-21-18
Everyone should read this
I’m sure Ms. Martin will get a lot of backlash for writing this book, but the topic is one that needs to be talked about more. Women have been stigmatized for far too long if they have the audacity to enjoy sex and then actually admit it. And women tend to be some of the worst offenders of propagating the beliefs that women should be shamed for it. We need to empower ourselves and other women to take back the autonomy of our sexual beings. We need to support each other’s choices whether it’s to be monogamous or explore other options. We need to respect others choices and know that we are all different and what works for one person may not work for someone else. And that’s OKAY! We don’t have to live in cookie cutter box houses and dress alike and behave for someone else’s skewed view of morality.
7 people found this helpful