To Kill or Be Killed

A True Crime Memoir from Prison

By: Joni Ankerson

Narrated by: Tanya Eby

Length: 6 hrs and 1 min

Publisher's summary

The day we met in October of 1997, I was working at the District Court in Traverse City, Michigan as a Deputy Clerk. It was like most other days with arraignments, sentencings, civil case hearings, and the like. People shuffling in and out, everyone taking care of their important business with court appearances, document filings, paying tickets, fines, and bonding loved ones out of jail.

I loved my job. It was extremely satisfying and interesting with constant interaction with all walks of life, including people on either end of the judicial spectrum and many in between. Suddenly, there he was. Tall, handsome, and looking so impressive and important in his Michigan State Police uniform with his hat, gun belt, and badge. A powerful man who had chosen a profession to serve and protect. He was extremely friendly and upbeat, smiling profusely. Best of all, he, too, was unattached.

What could go wrong? He was like a dream man. We clicked, immediately, and began dating exclusively. But he was not a dream man. He was a nightmare...as I learned over the next 12 years.

Twelve years of enduring domestic violence at its absolute worse. Constant abuse, control, manipulation, and threats. Sadistic sexual deviance and sexual violence. It was only going to end one way: someone would die in our bed and someone would go to prison for murder.

This is my story about domestic violence, resilience, reckoning, and survival.

©2020 by Joni Ankerson (P)2020 by Blackstone Publishing

Worth listening to for sure.

Great story of brave woman. However , very robotic narrator sounded like Alexa was reading it.

An Excruciating Story that Defies Understanding

"To Kill or Be Killed" by Joni Ankerson is very difficult to listen to, hard to understand, and even harder to continue listening to. This is sufferance beyond understanding; the question we often ask of people in abusive relationships..... why don't they just leave?

Needs Different Narratior

I’m sorry but this is the second audio book that I’ve heard by the narrator, Tanya something, that ruined the book or story for me, I’m truly sorry but this performer is just not cut out for true crime. She should stick with a different genre or subject like cooking or something happy because her reading style isn’t appropriate. Sometimes, she confuses dark narratives as bright and it’s just not right, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh, but this genre isn’t for her reading style.

With a different narrator this would have been 5*

The story was very well written but the performance detracted from the overall in that she spoke in a monotone, clearly enunciating each word with equal weight and separation between words almost like it was being read by a computer, which was both distracting and made it difficult at times to hear the context in which the author had written those same words. In spite of that I felt the author did an amazing job of verbalizing how an intelligent woman can find herself slowly yet increasingly under the control of an abuser and how trapped that can make her feel.

Sad story of abuse and manipulation

I wonder if the attacks on the author by some reviewers are the dead psychos family or friends 🤔
Definitely a How To Spot An Abuser Manual.
Glad she's out of prison

this membership is the best buy I've made this yea

excellent read!!!!! I felt like I was right there as a w
it Ness through the entire story. it really draws you into the story.

Difficult to Understand

Just too difficult to understand that a Christian woman would endure, condone, participate in such aberrant sexual behavior under any circumstance.

Unbelievable

This book was very interesting I truly cannot believe a person would do such acts to himself or someone else. Some people have deranged minds..

Good story

I liked it deserved more than it's current rating. glad I listened. We're the bad reviews left by the troopers relatives or friends. poor woman very sick husband.

Loved the way the story was presented

Love the way the story was presented. I can also sympathize with main character.