This American Ex-Wife

How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life

By: Lyz Lenz

Narrated by: Lyz Lenz

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A deeply validating manifesto on the gender politics of marriage (bad) and divorce (actually pretty good!) in America today, and an argument that the former needs a reboot—from journalist and proud divorcée Lyz Lenz

“This American Ex-Wife is a bomb, a bouquet (but not a wedding bouquet), a memoir, a manifesto, and a total joy to read.”—Rebecca Solnit, author of Men Explain Things to Me

AN ELECTRIC LIT BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR

Studies show that nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women—women who are tired, fed up, exhausted, and unhappy. We’ve all seen how the media portrays divorcées: sad, lonely, drowning their sorrows in a bottle of wine. Lyz Lenz is one such woman whose life fell apart after she reached a breaking point in her twelve-year marriage. But she refused to take part in that tired narrative and decided to flip the script on divorce.

In this exuberant and unapologetic book, Lenz makes an argument for the advantages of getting divorced, framing it as a practical and effective solution for women to take back the power they are owed. Weaving reportage with sociological research and literature with popular culture along with personal stories of coming together and breaking up, Lenz creates a kaleidoscopic and poignant portrait of American marriage today. She argues that the mechanisms of American power, justice, love, and gender equality remain deeply flawed, and that marriage, like any other cultural institution, is due for a reckoning. A raucous argument for acceptance, solidarity, and collective female refusal, This American Ex-Wife takes readers on a riveting ride—while pointing us all toward a life that is a little more free.

Yes, this!

Lyz thank you so much for sharing your story, a story so many of us women share. Thank you for being open and honest and vulnerable. Thank you for shining a light on the blatant inequality between women and men. Thank you for taking the time to highlight all that women do that goes unseen, unappreciated, undervalued, and simply dismissed. But most of all, I thank you because I needed your story so very, very much, to be reminded that I am not alone. Truly thank you! <3

Relatable Story

I loved both the content of this book and the performance. Heartbreaking, informative, and a story of resilience!

Charming, heartbreaking, very real

Lyz Lenz is such a likable, genuine narrator and storyteller it makes an often heartbreaking tale wistful. Will likely soothe any woman navigating divorce—it’s not just you, divorce is pretty common and a lot of the reasons are the same. Thanks for writing this Lyz.

You’re Not Alone

I loved Lyz’s inflection in her voice. It makes such a difference. It helps in knowing that I am not alone in wanting my own freedom.

Must read

I wish my mother could have handed me this book. Reading this at an early age would have been helpful and insightful.

Someone Needed To Write This

I’m not even done yet but this book is just leaving me agog.

Her husband sounds totally incompatible with any self respecting woman. But what really gets to me is that, in so many ways, he sounds like a personality clone of MY ex-husband, who I also left after 12 years of marriage. Are there LOTS of men like that? There must be. I feel like I dodged a bullet because I never had children with my ex. Lyz makes it clear how much worse THAT would have made things.

I can totally relate to her repeated emphasis on the absence of true partnership from the man’s side and how women are usually the ones handed a load of bull of how marriage is work that you just have to stick to.

The statistics, facts and other info peppered through the book make this an incredibly informative and eye opening read.

Every divorced woman needs to read this. I often lapse into self pity that I don’t have a man. This book reminded me that I am FREE of a bad situation and that I should be very cautious about any future decisions. More importantly, every woman thinking about marriage and children needs to read this. There is a lot of truth here. Every word of it.

Thought provoking

As someone in a troubled marriage she nails it with the inequality of being married - her comments on government and social mores were thought provoking. Society needs to have men step up and be more accountable in marriage - emotionally, physically and mentally - men only bringing home a paycheck isn’t enough and the standards of “well you’re not being physically abused so it’s fine” need to stop - this book expresses that very well.

So real

Everything was so true, I felt like she was reading it from my soul!
I have gained a lot of personal clarity from listening to this book.

Critical Perspective on Marriage

I cannot overstate the importance of the author’s perspective on the institution of marriage, particularly in modern literature, which has long focused on shared responsibility for “building” and “holding on to” marriage. With a number of spot-on metaphors, Lyz Lenz incisively documents the exhausting labor that marriage creates for women at every stage, and the relatively few benefits that women receive, particularly relative to the benefits men receive. It will anger you, and you should be angry. Our daughters deserve better, and so do we.

Eye opening and clarifying

Lyz lays out with anecdotes and data the myriad problems with straight marriage. This book is a clarion call for women to consider ways in which they have accepted dominant narratives and ways their lives can be so, so much better. I’m going to listen to it again immediately.