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The Wrath of the Grapes
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- Length: 40 mins
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Publisher's Summary
What is inside?
Entertainment.
I went to a nice restaurant and ordered coffee; there was not any cream on the table. So, my wife pulled out her left breast and fixed me up. While she had it out, I took a few pulls on it. The manager came over and said I would have to leave. I reminded him that I knew the bartender where he drank beer; he then said, “Well, okay, we will make an exception this time." Man, it sure pays to know the right people. Sometimes bartenders seem like your best friend, but are they?
Looking for a job.
How in the hell can I put this? I guess I may as well tell the truth. Yep, I am a liar. But don’t let that influence your judgment about my character. And I do not want to say what I look like - that might give some people a bad impression of me. I know if I had ever grown to be six-foot-tall with blue eyes, I could have been a real special guy. Well, I do realize that part of the problem is I got disgusted, then I got busted, and now I can’t be trusted. And those are some of my good points. So, with that kind of background, who would give me a job?
I went to a bank, and they wouldn’t even let me fill out an application. They said my ragged pants and dirty shirt wasn’t in line with their dress code. I think that guy was trying to insult me, so I blew my nose on his nice clean desk and walked out. I have allergies issues, so you know it was a big mess. Now, why would a person do a thing like that? I did that number on his desk because, well, I don’t have to put up with being sneered at, like I am a stray dog. Even though I sleep out in the woods and the desert sometimes, I do have my pride. That was what I showed Ole Porky the Banker. That I could make a real mess, and I was proud it only took me one blow of the snozz. So from now on, he is off my holiday-card list....
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Story
Bob Patterson considers himself an everyman - albeit an everyman with a rich, beautiful wife, two good kids, and a mail-it-in job that ignores his law degree. Despite his good fortune, Bob is idling through life, bored at work and at home. In short, he is the proverbial coaster. Bob's wife, Sarah, is the anointed heir to the empire built by her father, Sam, a kind of Kansas City, Missouri, Warren Buffet. Fine by Bob, the family soccer mom, but early one morning he and Sarah awake to terrible news.
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OMG Funny!
- By Rodger P. Paxton on 06-01-18
By: Erich Wurster, and others
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The World Record Book of Racist Stories
- By: Amber Ruffin, Lacey Lamar
- Narrated by: Amber Ruffin, Lacey Lamar
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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From her raucous musical numbers to turning upsetting news into laughs as the host of The Amber Ruffin Show or in her Late Night with Seth Meyers segments, Amber is no stranger to finding the funny wherever she looks. With equal parts heart and humor, she and her sister Lacey Lamar shared some of the eye-opening and outrageous experiences Lacey had faced in Nebraska in their first book. Now, the dynamic duo makes it clear—Lacey isn’t the only one in the family with ridiculous encounters to share!
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LOVED it
- By Meadow Walker on 01-19-23
By: Amber Ruffin, and others
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Bob and Nikki: Publisher's Pack
- Bob and Nikki, Book 1-3
- By: Jerry Boyd
- Narrated by: Chris Ciulla
- Length: 17 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Bob thought he was doing fine on his own. Then the love of his life fell out of the sky. Can he get her back in the air with auto parts and a cutting torch? If he does, will she ever come back? Nikki took a job before she saw the equipment. Can she keep her passengers alive on a strange planet? Are the natives friendly?
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Excellent Series
- By Q on 06-18-20
By: Jerry Boyd
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Resting Witch Face
- Widow's Bay, Book 1
- By: Rebecca Regnier
- Narrated by: Traci Odom
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Between her cheating husband and her on-air meltdown, Marzie Nowak is going through a bit of a bad spell and a heck of a midlife crisis. Her kids have flown the coop to college, and her husband has opted to trade her in for a younger model. With nowhere else to turn, the ex-big-city journalist crawls back to her superstitious hometown of Widow's Bay just in time for their annual pagan festival. Her new, much less glamorous gig has her reporting for a local news website.
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great read in ebook great listening in audible
- By C. Frost on 07-28-20
By: Rebecca Regnier
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Louisiana Longshot
- A Miss Fortune Mystery, Book 1
- By: Jana DeLeon
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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It was a hell of a long shot.... CIA assassin Fortune Redding is about to undertake her most difficult mission ever - in Sinful, Louisiana. With a leak at the CIA and a price placed on her head by one of the world's largest arms dealers, Fortune has to go off-grid, but she never expected to be this far out of her element.
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Clever, funny and fun
- By Pamela on 06-08-16
By: Jana DeLeon
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Crossing over Easy
- Eastwind Witches Cozy Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Nova Nelson
- Narrated by: Rebecca Mitchell
- Length: 5 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Nora never believed in ghosts until one popped up asking for her help. And she never believed in witches...until she discovered she was one. Now trapped in the quaint supernatural town of Eastwind, she must learn the ins and outs of her powers before she gets herself killed. When she stumbles on a murder in the greasy kitchen of an all-night diner, all wands point to Nora the newcomer as the prime suspect. With the help of her bacon-obsessed canine familiar, a too-hot waiter, and the spirit of the deceased, Nora's only chance at clearing her name is to serve up the real killer.
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Different sort of magic book
- By CLEM on 03-18-23
By: Nova Nelson
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Broken (in the Best Possible Way)
- By: Jenny Lawson
- Narrated by: Jenny Lawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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As Jenny Lawson’s hundreds of thousands of fans know, she suffers from depression. In Broken (in the Best Possible Way), Jenny brings listeners along on her mental and physical health journey, offering heartbreaking and hilarious anecdotes along the way. With people experiencing anxiety and depression now more than ever, Jenny humanizes what we all face in an all-too-real way, reassuring us that we’re not alone and making us laugh while doing it.
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The perfect follow up
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-21
By: Jenny Lawson
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Anyone But Rich
- Anyone But..., Book 1
- By: Penelope Bloom
- Narrated by: Lauren Sweet, Tim Paige
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Seven years ago, my best friends and I made a promise: No matter what, we would never date one of the King brothers. Even if they grew up to become megafamous, gorgeous, heart-stopping billionaires. Even if they crawled on their knees and begged for forgiveness. But guess who just flew back into our lives in a private jet? And guess who just showed up to my job on my first day? Richard. King. Fortunately, it takes two seconds for Richard to reveal he hasn’t changed. Conceited. Cocky. Rude. Unfortunately, he’s also the kind of gorgeous that’s borderline offensive.
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Just ok
- By Tanisha on 01-15-20
By: Penelope Bloom
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Butterfly Bayou
- The Butterfly Bayou Series, Book 1
- By: Lexi Blake
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Life in Dallas took a tragic turn for nurse practitioner Lila Daley. In need of a fresh start, she retreats to Papillon, Louisiana, a tiny town on the bayou. Sure, she's greeted by a gator, finds herself in the middle of golf cart wars, and unwittingly adopts a scruffy dog - but Lila remains undaunted. She's focused on running the town's medical clinic, but fitting into the quirky community is harder than she imagined.
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My Thoughts on Butterfly Bayou
- By Shy G. on 05-11-20
By: Lexi Blake
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Hired Killer
- Cryptid Assassin Series, Book 1
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Derek Shoales
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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His name is Taylor McFadden, survivor of 83 trips into the ZOO. Now, he's retired, and yet his country needs his skills to save people in the country he calls home. Can he build a company, put down roots, and still bring the pain when the FBI calls? When they tag him as The Cryptid Assassin, they weren't wrong. For monsters that go bump in the night, he is death incarnate.
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Good Listen
- By Steelgator on 07-16-20
By: Michael Anderle
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A Man with One of Those Faces
- By: Caimh McDonnell
- Narrated by: Morgan C. Jones
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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The first time somebody tried to kill him was an accident. The second time was deliberate. Now Paul Mulchrone finds himself on the run with nobody to turn to except a nurse who has read one-too-many crime novels and a renegade copper with a penchant for violence. Together they must solve one of the most notorious crimes in Irish history. Or else they’ll be history.
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Not easily pleased
- By Anna on 08-30-18
By: Caimh McDonnell
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Forgotten Bones
- Dead Remaining, Book 1
- By: Vivian Barz
- Narrated by: Julie McKay
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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When small-town police officers discover the grave of a young boy, they’re quick to pin the crime on a convicted criminal who lives nearby. But when it comes to murder, Officer Susan Marlan never trusts a simple explanation, so she’s just getting started. Meanwhile, college professor Eric Evans hallucinates a young boy in overalls: a symptom of his schizophrenia - or so he thinks. But when more bodies turn up, Eric has more visions, and they mirror details of the murder case.
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ugh..
- By Anonymous User on 08-21-19
By: Vivian Barz
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The Great Book of American Idioms
- A Dictionary of American Idioms, Sayings, Expressions & Phrases
- By: Lingo Mastery
- Narrated by: Jason Sullivan
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Sure, you can learn English with a language course or a textbook just fine, and climb up the ranks in terms of your grasp of the language....but are you sure you can talk like a native? For starters, many expressions used by fluent speakers of English can’t exactly be learned in a book, and it can be frustrating to realize that your formal learning hasn’t been enough to teach you the way people talk in real life. Sometimes, it’s all about having the right tools at your disposal...and this is where The Great Book of American Idioms comes in!
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Very basic
- By Anonymous User on 08-04-21
By: Lingo Mastery