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The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce

A 25-Year Landmark Study
Narrated by: Kate McIntire
Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
4 out of 5 stars (146 ratings)
Regular price: $13.96
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Publisher's Summary

Twenty-five years ago, Judith Wallerstein began talking to a group of 131 children whose parents were all going through a divorce. From those conversations have come two best sellers: Surviving the Breakup and Second Chances. This third volume of the longitudinal study, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, brings all of her research up to the present and shows for the first time how children are affected by divorce long into adulthood.

Using a comparison group of adults who grew up in the same communities but whose parents never divorced, Wallerstein shows how adult children of divorce essentially view life differently from their peers in intact homes, and also sheds light on the question that so many parents confront: whether to stay unhappily married or to divorce. This book is a landmark cultural event that will change the way all of us view divorce.

©2000 Judith Wallerstein (P)2000 HighBridge Company

Critic Reviews

"This is a highly understandable narrative on how children are affected by divorce." ( AudioFile)
"McIntire reads with compassion and warmth, presents the psychologist's startling findings....An important contribution to our understanding of what is a central social problem." ( Publishers Weekly)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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Overall it was Insightful

At first while listening to this book I was mad. Clearly she was bringing to light the worst case scenarios! Then as the book progressed and I recalled how my post-divorce life has had similarities I started taking it in. The book answered a lot of questions I have had as to the "correct" way of moving forward. As I got to the meat of the book it was filled with information that nearly brought me to tears multiple times. Not only did I think about my child but also the lives of peers and family members I know from divorced or single parent homes. Overall I am more mindful of how I handle my divorce and I have directly opened communication lines between my child and I. Thank you.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Angela
  • Aledo, TX, USA
  • 07-07-08

A must for understanding

This book helped me understand the many effects divorce and dysfunctional families can have on our adult life. It helped me see the world a little better through the eyes of my husband, a child of multiple divorces.

9 of 10 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Sarah
  • West Jordan, UT, USA
  • 04-13-10

Very thought provoking!

I had not heard of this book before perusing audible.com. I had seen the reviews and thought it would help me as I teach and give insight to children of divorced families in my daycare. This was beautifully read and I was amazed as I was drawn in to my own reflections as a child!
I did not come from divorce but my parents never married. Later my mom married and 7 years later divorced. (So I guess kinda divorced)
This book gave me an understanding into what I had felt and faced as a child and still feel to this day. It gave me an empathy for the children I care for that had not been there before.
I am grateful for the author and the time she took to take another glance at the 'children' in her 25 year study.

5 of 6 people found this review helpful

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Very valuable

This helped me see some things to be aware of for my kids that I maybe wouldn't have thought of, and gave some ideas for how to handle sharing the parenting that I also wouldn't have thought of -- very valuable as I was at a loss on some issues as I go through a divorce against my wishes.

It was an interesting format, giving statistics through the framework of individual stories.

The main drawback to me was the narrators voice reminded me of my son's audiobook of The Velveteen Rabbit. It just didn't quite fit the subject to me, but it wasn't so bad that I stopped listening.

It also would've been nice to have a review of conclusions from each story at the end -- a summary of lessons learned to help in remembering what not to do.

Overall, I'm very glad to have read this. I feel a lot more prepared in moving forward in a difficult and unknown world.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Not for those in pain

Would you ever listen to anything by the authors again?

No. This book is a set of pom poms, a cheer leading manual, for how great divorce is and how you can be better than ever because of your divorce. It is not for anyone who is suffering rejection, abandonment, loneliness.

Any additional comments?

You have VERY few books on abandonment or rejection. Why not?

4 of 6 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars

Very enjoyable and thought-provoking.

I highly recommend this fine book. As the child of a messy divorce and the even messier aftermath, I was re-assured and gained personal confidence and insight from the life-stories described sensitively within.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Facts about how divorce affects children now and in the future not urban myth

We say many things about divorce and children that are not true. This book tells the facts

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Hits home

This should be read by EVERY person who's a child of divorce. I'd be shocked if you don't relate to at least 1 person in this study

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Necessary

As an adult child of divorce, who is now parenting children of divorce, it was incredibly important to me to understand the toxic behaviors that could spare my kids the pain of divorce for themselves, and how to really learn not to idealize marriage and relationships, but to see them for what they are. Hard, but worthy, work. This gave me so much insight to my own approach to relationships and makes me eager to work at my current relationship, because of the value it can bring to me, and my children.

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Unexpectedly Great Book on Divorce

I’d not expected this to be so informative & full of different scenarios as well as thoughtful, research-based suggestions. As the now adult child of not only divorce but one where abuse was coupled with >a dozen sept-reconciliation dances plus multiple remarriages, I’d planned to never get married. However, I met someone with a very similar background in college, moved in together & married. The marriage lasted 3 sons, 5 inter-state &2 international moves, brain surgeries, & 30 years. Nonetheless, he up & left (not moved out), divorced me, forced the sale of our family home & remarried with 6 mo of the divorce. THE UNEXPECTED LEGACY OF DIVORCE helped me recognize some classic patterns. I’ve already recommended it to others.
~Dr. Chris Patricia Hafner